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how
to
get
lent

or how not to look like an idiot.

Fact #1: Lending boards are filled with way too many people trying way too hard.

On a lending board for any major item, whether it be Adam NP or BGC or whatever, you're going to see a lot of very desperate people. They, very sneakily, use different methods to try to get the lenders attention and persuade them that they should be lent.

Fact #2: Most of these methods are painfully obvious and turn the lender against the potential lendee.

This is a list of things that I see at lending boards. If I were the lender (an I am sometimes) they would irritate me and I would not lend this person. Some are just annoying habits. Some are things that lendees think will make the lender like them when really... uh, no. o-o

Avoid them in the future and you may have a better chance of getting lent (:

I don't quite have full but...




fact #3: When someone says they are lending for full collat, they are lending for full collat.

At every full lending board, five or more people come asking for free or low. Come on! You read the post, even if you say you "didn't see". When denied, some people say "Well, there's no harm in asking xDD". Yes, there is. You irritated the lender and wasted their time. Just don't ask. It's annoying.

Sometimes people try to be sneaky about this.

Yeah, I guess you're hoping the lender will take pity and be all "OMG I'M SORRY HERE I'LL SEND THE ITEM". You really think lenders can't see that? You're not being subtle at all; it'd actually be better if you blatantly begged.

I wish I had that avatar but I probably wouldn't get lent, so I won't try

Good luck and safe lending! I know I don't have full collat but can I stay and chat anyway? This seems like a fun board.

For the "stay and chat"ers: We know you don't just want to stay and chat. You're obviously trying to get the lender to reconsider. Go away, you're wasting your own time.

*passes out cookies*

(Find me a screenie for this section?)

What is up with the cookies? *passes out macadamedia nut brownies with whipped cream, vinegar, and caster oil*

Seriously. If you can't think of something to talk about, then bring up the good old TNT hatin'. Or whatever. Don't resort to any of the below.

  • *passes out cookies*
  • Favorite/newest/wanted avatar (the wanted is always the lended item, right ;D)
  • How was your day?" "Fine. Yours?" "Fine."
  • The lender's pets/avatar/font/name/userlookup/blahblahblah. Obvious kissing up, and you should be smarter than to kiss up that obviously.
  • How fast the board is going. Adding more posts about the aforementioned speed will make it go faster, so shut up.
  • Other senseless topics that are obviously only brought up to have a topic to talk about.

I've gotten lent...

I've gotten lent a hundred sand snowballs for ITTPD and robo and codestones and blue evil fuzzle and scarab ring and lots of other things! This proves I won't steal your Bony Grarrl Club!

Okay, it might not be as annoyingly obvious as this, but you get the jist. Saying what you've gotten lent is not necessary. EVERYONE does this, ANYONE could say it, and it really doesn't make that much of a difference.

I will allow that there are a few exceptions. If you have MSPP and SUAP (which, if you stole them, would cause such a tumult everyone would know), it may cause the lender to be swayed in your favor, as long as you don't have a horrible account in the first place.

Another exception is if you've gotten lent something decent (Meowclops, ZDAP, etc for something like Adam) by someone the lender knows personally. If they can check with your lender and happen to be good friends with them, then this could increase your chances.

Otherwise, just leave this out of your post. Not that you're wasting the lender's time reading it, because they're just going to skip over it anyway.

gimmenowplz !

(Find me a screenie for this section?)

Being impatient will always tick off a lender. It's their item, they have the right to draw on the lending process for a board, or two boards, or three, and then not even pick anyone. It's always your choice to stay, so don't be so rude as to complain.

When are you picking?
^ Instant turn-off. I don't know why, but it just gets many people the wrong way if you seem to be pressing them to make a choice. I REALIZE that it's stupid to draw on a whole board when you can look at the account, decide whether the person is trustworthy, and lend them or say "no". But that's how AC tradition has evolved and we have to stick to it.

Could you please tell me if I have a chance?
I understand this one as well. You don't want to stay the whole time at the board if the lender has already looked at your count and decided they're not going to lend you, right? BUT this will probably earn you a "no, you don't have a chance 'cause you asked" or just a "maybe, everyone has a chance". Keep it open, because when pressed lenders will usually decide no.

I need to go soon, can you neomail me if you can lend me?
LOL at this. Sweetie, don't waste your time.

fact #4: 99.57% of the time, a lender will not neomail you to lend. Don't ask.

Neomailing. Everyone says "no neomails". Even those who don't, don't do it. Lenders see your posts just as well as they see your neomail. They won't bother to read your 10-paragraph essay. So, whatever, just leave it out. Some will also get irritated and decide not to lend you.

Also, any type of I'm getting ignored or is the lender still here? can be grouped under the same thing. No, the lender is not going to reply to your every post, or even any. If you post and say "can I get lent?" they're not going to reply yes or no. Duh. Trying to get their attention is just going to irritate them.

kissing. up.

For this section, there is the obvious and the unobvious. Most people have grown out of the unobvious type.

Fact #5: Praising the lender in any way is not going to get you lent. Everyone at the board can see that you are kissing up.

I don't think I need to explain this.

BUT, lately I've seen TONS of lendees who are kissing up, but think they're being all subtle about it. This can include:

  • Agreeing with the lender's opinions.
  • Flaming (as in people who didn't follow the lender's rules or whatever)
  • Neofriend requesting the lender.
  • Safe lending." Not all of these, but when you act all worried when someone takes a while, act devastated if one of the things gets stolen, hate on whoever took it, blahblahblah.

*hinthint*

Again. People, you think you're so subtle with your hinting that you want to be lent. You're not fooling anyone (well, you might be fooling yourself). Doing these things really isn't going to help.

  • Congrats to whoever just got lent! Yes, we all hear the silent "I wish it was me". This may be innocent, but when you're congratsing everyone, it just gets annoying.
  • *wishes I could be picked* Extremely obvious.

I would nevereverever scam.

Why would I steal a bunch of pixels?
If the item is just a bunch of pixels, the avatar is also just a bunch of pixels, and you wouldn't be here. This is such an over-used excuse. Saying it does not make you believable at all.

Scammers need a life.
So by dissing scammers this proves you're not one. Fo' real. God. Again, sooo overused.

I'd never scam because I think it's wrong. I've had a lot of stuff scammed so I understand how it feels.
Yeah, uh, anyone could say this. Don't act all insulted because we don't believe you when you yourself say you're trustworthy. YOU COULD BE LYING, and scammers do all the time!

It's not fair when people judge just on account. I mean, I have a life and have more things to do than just collect avatars.
First of all; LOL you just dissed the lender, who probably doesn't have a life and has a good account. Good job.

Secondly; look. We're not saying people with better accounts are better people. We're just saying there is less personal risk involved lending better accounts. Logically, someone with a better account will be less likely to want to lose it. YES, people with good accounts have scammed, but the numbers still lean in favor of those with bad accounts. I KNOW that you can be trustworthy without a good account, but we can't know that. You could be lying. And there is NO WAY, no matter how many times you say you're trustworthy, or how many friends you bring in, or how nice you act (anyone can act nice) that we can know. So deal with it.

/rant.

I have vouchers! (link to petpage with lots of screenies)
Most of these pages are full of people saying "___ is amazing and a great friend and super trustworthy. Lend her or my meepits will eat you !!!

And, srsly, everyone has friends on neo that will type up something like that for you.

If you can get your friend to say they'll pay back if you steal, then here's some simple logic.

fact #6: If someone has the funds to replace something you steal, then they have the funds to lend you full collat.

after it gets scammed

So the item just got scammed, and the lender makes a scammer alert board. This doesn't really go into this category of "lending board" etiquette, but I thought I'd include it since it's another thing that irritates me personally as a lender, and I'm sure does the same to many others.

It is so, so, so annoying when something gets scammed and people from the lending board come on there and go:

I'm so sorry! Once you get a new one, will you still be lending?

Are you still lending the other items?

(At the lending board, the item has already been scammed, some clueless person goes on there) Can I be lent?

Aww, I was just about to get lent! :(

One, you probably weren't, you're just making that up (idk why). Two, no one cares. See the next one for my rant (:

Oh my God, I hate scammers so much. They make it so much harder for people like me to get lent.

This seriously -insert bad language here-. Stop being so freakin' selfish! Someone just lost their item, and you're whining about how you lost an opportunity. If you had gotten lent, that would have been a favor to you from the lender. If you didn't because it got scammed, you have NO cause to be whining about the lend you might have gotten. Express sympathy to the lender and then be on your way.

fact #7: Not getting lent is not the end of the world. Just so you know.




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