Welcome to my spooky petpage. You probably stumbled in here while trying to get out through the main door. No wonder, there's a secret trapdoor there. Otherwise I get no visitors at all. It's rather sad. Anyway. Since my life isn't actually too fun, I thought I'd talk about what I do all day and everyday. My main focus and whatnot. I think it's called a hobby. Ghosts!

This page will let you know aaaaall about ghosts. Catching one, recognising one, and just general facts about them, you know? I've gone and browsed through some books to see what they say but most of them are pretty unrealistic. They never write anything useful nowadays... So yes, I'll talk to you about that.

So you don't completey regret stumbling through that trapdoor, anyway.



BOOK TIP: Famous Tonu Ghosts has an introduction which I recommend reading: It's not like everything stops when the end comes. Your spirit rises in a mass of little, transparent molecules the size of atoms into the dark night (or day) and dissolves into a technicolour cloud. With a small popping noise, the remains of your conciousness diffuse into a million more atoms and float about. If you're fortunate, they will become part of a bigger cloud. If you're even more fortunate they will all be next to each other. And then, when it rains, the atoms collect again and fill up with a random type of gas like Argon. A ghost is formed!

But in general, that's a very hard question. I like to say they're pieces of jelly which you can actually put your hand through without getting it dirty. They usually float and have this greenish tone to them. And they glow sometimes, but not always. Mostly they do it to scare or provoke you. And if you're not frightened their eyes light up or something. How pathetic. Someone should really start giving them scare tactics.

Most ghosts float about and try to scare you, even though only very, VERY few people can see them as actual shapes. The rest might only just sense there's something different in the atmosphere. Ghosts can't really communicate even to those who know they're there. Unless you're a shaman like me, heh. Ghosts have no vocal chords, nor do they actually have any inner organs. So they can't talk and don't eat or drink, they don't feel pain or anything. And if you touch them you won't feel it. The only thing you might feel is if you actually walk through them. It's like a sudden icy chill and you might lose awareness for a few seconds. But it usually doesn't happen since they'd much rather avoid any contact with living things.

So, if they can't talk, how can I communiate with them? It's very simple. Special shaman training strengthened my brain and I can catch thought waves the ghosts send out. That's how they communicate with each other, too. They just send thoughts. These thought waves are so spread out that nothing else other than a trained brain can catch or even be aware of them at all! It's a very smart trick, unless they want to talk to the living world. Hm...



Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. Very common with street posts and people on rollerblades *ahem* There are several ways you can see if there's a ghost in your room. Here they are:

1. The room will suddenly become very cold and maybe humid. Steam coming out of your mouth is very common during this time. You might think the windows are open or something, but no type of weather can lower temperature that fast.

2. You hear noises that shouldn't be there. Sure, ghosts can't touch anything but there are exceptions where they can knock things over or create soundwaves with their thoughts. Spooooky.
3. You feel watched. Believe it or not, that feeling applies for ghosts, too!

4. If you happen to have a ghost which can create soundwaves with its thoughts, you can always double check what it wants with simple communication: ask it very kindly to answer 'yes or no' questions with a special system: one tap for yes and two for no. Any kind of taps. I've tried it before my shaman days, and it works!

Last but not least...
5. Become part of a seánce group. In these groups, shaman's like me will ask ghosts to come forward and you will learn a lot about them and their ways. Not much is known about the ghost world, of course, but who knows? YOU might be just the one who discovers a little bit more!


Seeing as they are transparent and you can't grab them, ghosts are pretty difficult to catch. It takes a lot of concentration, skill and practice to be a master. Now... why would anyone actually want to catch one? Well, honestly, I have no idea. Probably just for fun. Maybe for... research purposes? Who knows. Anyway, onto the guide.

Be very prepared
This guide will give you precise steps so you can catch your ghost, but it's not my fault if you're no prepared! Make sure you do everything, and keep practicing it, and I'm sure you'll succeed!

Trick-or-Treat
This is probably one of the easiest methods. Ghosts have a sweettooth, even though they can't eat. Find something in the house which is sweet, like a cookie or a piece of cake. Don't worry, the ghost won't eat it - it can't! This is like bait. The worst that can happen is the ghost somehow manages to get away with the cookie or whatever it is you put out. It's best to lay the sweet thing on a piece of stale bread on a full moon night. I've noticed there are many more ghosts around at that time.
It may take a few minutes, it may take a few hours before you start noticing the changes happening once a ghost enters your house. In any case, once you do, make sure you've got a blanket filled with ice cubes, and quickly throw it over the cookies. The ghost should be caught because cold water does this weird thing to them on full moon nights. And there you go! Your first ghost!


Vacuumed Up
Lots of people think this method is garbage. That's not true! It works most of the time and it's the easiest thing ever. What you need is a vacuum cleaner and a plastic bag that's got peanut butter smeared on the inside of it. Again, the peanut butter is so it actually STAYS in the bag. Then, you can go out ghost-catching. Simply use the plastic bag in the vacuum leaner and turn it on! The air will be sucked inside, as will any ghosts floating near by.


Flour Power
A very popular among some people, but not really recommended because it makes a huge mess: Flour Power! Notice the very lame pun. Anyway, this is done by grabbing a huge bag of flour, preferably five times as big as your head. But make sure you can lift it up high. Again, with the sweet bait, get your ghost to come into the bathroom. Ghosts don't like white because it's so light, so make sure you've also got lots of lights turned on. That way the ghost is kind of blinded, so it can't escape. Then grab the bag of flour and cut a small hole in it. Small meaning somewhere around the size of your eye. Grab the bag and swing it around. Notice all the WHITE flour coming out! Some of it should "cover" the ghost so you can see a vague outline of it. You can then use the bag to try and catch it. And along with letting you catch a ghost, this method also explains the numerous people covered in flour you might've encountered.


Mind Communication
Another common one with shamans, or people who call shamans for help. Using your thought waves you can influence a ghost to do something. For example, stay in one place, or stop moving at all. It's rather funky once you get the hang of it, and you can do very strange things. Poor ghosts! Me? I love "catching" them and maybe letting them fly way, WAY up high and then fall back down again. It's always so much fun seeing their scared expressions...


Right then. Enough rambling from my side, I think your knowledge has definitely been perked up immensely during the last whatever minutes. I leave you alone with these two buttons I made, to contemplate around with. I think you'll find out very soon they'd really want you to use them and link back to here, because now especially there might be a chance of many ghosts floating about and everyone needs to know how to handle them! So, without further ado: