HOW to read and understand this -

Words in red means that this word is in your app and I suggest that you DELETE it because the spelling is incorrect or the grammar is wrong.

Words in blue means that I suggest that this word be ADDED into that sentence so as to make your sentence more coherent.

Under the 'Welcome' section

~Disclaimer~ I was I in no way forced to make this application. I made it of my own free will to show my dedication to Nim.~
…
Welcome, Josey. My name is Lily and I have heard that you are looking for a new home for the lovely Nim. I would love if you could take take a look round my Application.
^ Maybe italicise to show that you are the one talking?

Under the 'Nim' section

There's a random 'http' thing on top of the header when you click this section, btw. Might want to check that out.

I spent a long time looking at petpets and decided that the Faerie Bowla not only matched her coulor color but also her pose and beauty.

It was getting very late and suddenly she remembered that she and the her family were going to a fancy restaurant for dinner.

She then went to her dressing table where she found a beautiful green ribbon.

Nim looked and at it in surprise, as well she might!

There is also a story behind her Petpetpet.
One day when Nim was gardening with Selena at her side when they both heard rustling coming from a nearby bush.

Under the 'About Me' section

Last sentence – 'The reason I only have 1 account with pets for me is that I find I can put more time and effort into those pets rather than if I had 20 and could only spend 5 minutes on each one.'

Under the 'my plans for Nim' section

Second paragraph first sentence – 'She would NEVER be traded as she is much too precious for that.

Under the 'why Nim' section

I saw that Nim was is an UC Faerie Xweetok and freaked.'…
So may many come close but none can match the Beauty, Poise and Elegance as Nim herself.

Other Suggestions

Your paragraphs are very spaced out, so it makes the app look very empty and too white.
Perhaps instead of using the (p)-(/p) tag try using the (br) tag which acts like pressing enter on the keyboard and doesn't put too much space between your paragraphs. Except of course replace the brackets with the appropriate arrow-like symbols.

You also have this thing where you have capitalisation in the middle of the sentence where it is not a name or the beginning of a sentence or anything.
I suppose this is fine if it's words like 'Beauty, Poise and Elegance' but for all others try and avoid capitalising the words.

Your art is sooo good but to compete with those crazy people out there you should have at least more art piece, and maybe some fan art if you can manage to get people to draw for you c:

Credit

Code by Neekoe | Get it at Sparkle