it's dark inside.

where my demons hide.

my story: a summary.

--; Iruke / pronounced 'eye-ruke'.

He was a simple citizen, living a natural, normal, harmless life. He was a young teen, happy with just messing around and being harmlessly rebellious; focused only on friends and relationships and what any normal high schooler might. But rulers changed and his happy life was interrupted.

Everything he believed in fell apart and in seconds he lost his naivety and innocence. He had to make a decision—let the world decide for him and not know what would become of him, or make a stand despite the consequences. Just a young fella he decided to stand up and fight back, knowing that he's changing and risking his life completely, but refusing to back down because he knows it's the right thing to do. He thought about running away, he wanted to run away. Those closest to him wanted him to back down and hide with them. And as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. He had to protect what he believed in and become a part of the war.

He was trained to fight the corruption but in doing so he became a vicious monster. No matter how hard he fought to fight only the bad and to do the right thing, bad things still happened and death was all around him. He became a monster of his own. The tyrant won in this way: those created to defeat him became monsters of their own, causing more destruction than he did. No matter how much he wished he could return to his normal life, his normal self, he found he was too far gone and there was no going back. They had turned him into a monster. And when he realized this, he had already lost everything. Everyone and everything he had stood for had died either from what he was fighting, or from the aftermath of those like him destroying everything to eliminate the other side. As much as he blamed others for what he had become, he knew deep down that it wasn't totally their faults. There was always a part of his soul that lusted for death and destruction—their training only let it out. So even if the war had ended and his family and friends still lived, he knew he could never go back. They had let the beast out, and there was no way he could ever trap it back in.

He became a monster of his own.

Within the war he had made allies before he was too far gone and before realizing his grief. One in particular had truly believed in him. She had a similar backstory, having been innocent as he was but her dark powers were released as she fought to protect what she thought was right. She believed in him and was the motivation for him to go on as long as he did. They were demons together. She didn't fear him as his old friends did.

But as time passed, their moment of glory diminished. The war was becoming impossible. Many who had fought alongside him for years had realized they could not win and they gave up. He and she were one of the few who continued standing and continued fighting, unaware of what monsters they were becoming, of what darkness was enveloping them. But soon a wave came that they could not hold back. She was taken into darkness, so far that she could not be found. He loved her so he risked his life trying to bring her back. Though he got through to her, she had already realized how far she had gone and broke away from him to let herself be taken. She loved him and didn't want him to become lost like she had and so she warned him of what he was becoming. Although he wanted to be taken with her regardless of what she told him, she trapped him so he could not—she forced him to live on with his life instead of following her into the darkness. But even though her sacrifice was hopeful it was too late for him too. With everything he had seen and experienced he could never return to a normal life. He would always live in his memories, full of hate and guilt and sorrow. Mostly guilt that he could not save her, that he could not save anyone, not even himself. He had risked everything for nothing, as it turned out. This was a war no one could win, and he found out far too late.

Now on Neopia he tries to pick up where he left off but his dark past can never be forgotten. He can pretend that he's just like everyone else, but the war is still fresh in his mind. There are demons hidden in his soul, fighting to break the surface.

my story: my words.

I am Iruke, and this is my story, in my own words, as I remember it.

Inspired by "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.

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