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I hear the whispers of the valkyries
as they wing thier way earthward,
bound for the battlefield.
I long to be one of the chosen,
to spend endless hours in Valhalla,
fighting through the day...
dying at night...
and rising to life again cometh the dawn
to begin the battle anew.
At last I feel truly alive.
~ Viking Chant (Valkyries #1)
Hail to you, and welcome.
A large lupine greets you, his fur as white as winter's snow. Pink scars criss-cross his pelt. Black runic tattoos cover his four legs.
I am Iron Can't Bite, a warrior from these lands, now one of the Einherjar, the honoured dead who reside in Valhalla.
He notices your sceptical look and breaks out into a hearty laugh.
I can see the doubt in your eyes. But on my honour I can swear to you that I have died.
My Life
I was born in these lands, and like most I strove to prove myself in battle. Unlike most I faced challenges not only for personal glory, but for a desire to aid those weaker then I.
I quickly became known as a hero amongst my people, along with my loyal pack of húskarls.
I became a leader to many, a jarl.
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These runes that mark my legs are my testament to my days. They were a gift, a blessing by a rune-wise volva, or a wise woman.
I have more then a few, including ones to heal my body and to grant me the strength of a bear. Yet my most cherished tattoos are the 'iron can't bite' runes. This rune is one of the most powerful as it wards off damage from any weapon forged of iron or steel.
It is from this rune that I was given my nickname.
My Death
My life ended gloriously in battle with an ice wyrm. A local village had swallowed their pride and come to my pack to ask for aid slaying the beast.
(Image from Neopets.com)
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Now I am sure that you have heard of the Ice Wyrms, Lindwyrms (dragons) that inhabit the coldest of lands... your Snowager is one of these.
But this ice wyrm would put your snowager to shame, over 200 feet long and so cold that the air would freeze around it for a mile.
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It was after the wyrm had left me fatally wounded that I crammed my body down it's throat. As the Valkyries whisked me off to the afterlife I could see the limp form of the ice wyrm... I knew that my sacrifice had not been in vain.
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Many were saved, and I earned my place in Valhalla.
My Afterlife
I am unsure of how long I resided in Valhalla for it was a paradise. Battle throughout the day, feasting at night… and many a voluptuous valkyrie. Yet things changed when two foreign lupes crossed the Bifrost.
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Wepauwet and Taimoset were their names. They had journeyed from the Duat, the afterlife of a hot land far to the south. They were on a quest to gather heroic warriors to give the blessing of their God of the Nile. Those chosen would return to life once again, not truly mortal, yet no longer dead.
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They faced challenges from Odin to prove themselves worthy, and I was hand picked by the All-Father to join them. It was then that I breathed again.
My Rebirth
(Image by Mindsend)
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Many things have happened since my return from Valhalla. My senses are sharper, I feel more alive then ever. I can feel myself being guided by the gods, and at times I get visions from the valkyries telling me what I am to accomplish next.
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Thus far I have found and adopted the orphaned ice wyrm hatchling of my one-time foe, foiled the plot of Loki to befoul the local longhouses on Yule, and faced the crazed Bunhild_the_Valkyrie in combat. I have flirted with many a buxom beauty, and gave guidance and martial training to Mesherew (the child of my alphas).
Even recently my own runic tattoos have been adjusted and updated by a rune-wise kougra.
I have only just started to live again… and I can see that my life shall be a great adventure.
My Tagalong
I have a strange adopted 'son', for he is a lindwyrm hatchling. My first task the valkyries gave me after my rebirth was the find the lair of the lindwyrm I had slain.
Much of the ice cave was frozen over, save for a small, shaking ice egg.
I have heard rumours that a lindwyrms egg can take decades, centuries, or even a certain situation for it to hatch. Apparently this egg had remained in the cave for however long I was in Valhalla.
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In awe I watched as the small hatchling worked it's way through the shell to take it's first breath of the cold air. I was unsure of what to do, as my first instinct was to extinguish it. For lindwyrms are a vicious, wicked creature.
But I could not harm something so young and helpless... even a lindwyrm.
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Instead I adopted him and named him Sigurd after a famous dragon slayer. I have been raising him to reject the more unsavourable qualities of the lindwyrm. He seems to have retained many of his more feral traits, but is turning into a wyrm I can be proud of.
My Loss
It is better...' they say, but I do not know if I believe such things.
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My lovely, buxom Skadi meant everything to me. Like a beautiful snowflake she thrived amongst the ice and snow.
A nordic lupess, we spent many a cold night together.
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After some time she stopped showing at the longhouse I stayed at. I climbed the mountain to where she lived and found that there had been no sign of her for ages. I searched for my love, but with each passing month it seemed more unlikely that I could find her.
Eventually I let myself continue on without her.
After I had set new goals and met new females Skadi returned.
She said that she would forgive my 'indiscretions' but I fear it has gone much further then that. I cannot fully give my heart to Skadi any longer, but I find myself unable to completely pull away from her.
My Current Quest
So you may wonder what this warrior's current goal is. Well, it's to find chocolate. *he laughs* No, I am not teasing you.
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To be more specific I am trying hard to impress a certain female by the name of Sesmor. And what a woman she is!
Sesmor is possibly the most amazing female I have ever met! Buxom, towering in stature, fun-loving, and she likes to feast!
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Sadly she does not see me as more then a friend, but I plan to impress her with my deeds.
Thus far I have kept my brag to lift her above my head. I had spoke before I thought through my words as she is of an unnatural size. Even the largest of lupes is the size of a mere pup in comparison.
Mind you I did succeed, although it required wit, ropes and pulleys.
Now I have boasted that the sweets she feasted upon were not equal to her quality, and I would bring her the best chocolate to be found anywhere.
I still haven't been able to fulfill my brag.
I'm going to swallow my pride and ask the wise feline Tetsquati for aid on this quest. As he seems to know a great deal about chocolate.
Perhaps completing 'this' quest will finally impress her enough.
(Note: I talked this over with Mindsend. Iron's quest for Sesmor's affections is just a one sided thing. I do not expect Sesmor to ever view Iron as more then a friend. So... no bothering either of us about it. ;P)
My Pack
My pack is a group of the heroic deceased. We have the means to exist either in the lands of the living or the dead, and sometimes travel from one to the other. In this way we are not truly alive, but neither are we dead or undead. We are just 'eternal', forever unaging, and undying.
It is our alphas that together seem to carry the blessing of the gods to grant certain individuals this gift.
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Wepauwet: The alpha male of my pack, and a warrior from the desert. He seems serious and is frequently caught up in his own thoughts. Thus far he spends more time in the world of spirit then that of life.
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Taimoset: The alpha female of my pack. She is also a warrior from the desert lands of the south. She carries the 'Feather of Isis', a token of great power bestowed upon her by her goddess.
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Jahy: The brother of Wepauwet. Jahy seems somewhat dour, like his brother. A very serious and reliable fellow. Last I heard he roams the lands of Africa with Bukekayo.
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Bukekayo: Is the trickster of our pack. She comes from the far south of a land called Africa, and is of a slightly different breed of lupe. It's said that she is looking to find what happened to her descendants.
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SimKhara: She came from the spirit world of Nirvana and is said to be a Dakinis. This lupess is a wise and contemplative warrior.
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Kachina: The sister of Taimoset, and the truly living member of our pack. She is a shamaness who is able to contact those of our pack when we reside in the afterlife.
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My Friends
I enjoy meeting new friends. Over the years since my rebirth I have met many an interesting traveller and companion... but a few truly stick in my mind.
Buxom Beauties!
bux·om (buhk-suh m)
adj.
Healthily plump and ample of figure
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Lets face it. There are too many 'lean, lithe, skinny' females in Neopia. You rarely see a female's description as plump, rubenesque, buxom, or voluptuous.
('The bigger the better' if you ask me.)
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So I've decided to take a stand for these gorgeous gals, and proudly list all of Neopia's Buxom Beauties that I can find!
So every female neopet that is curvy, full-figured, plump, cutely chubby, buxom or voluptuous you get my official adoration...
and this award!
Hearty Females of Neopia
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Skadi_Frostbite:
Stunningly curvy norse lupess.
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Sesmor:
Ample, curvacious, and huge in stature.
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Bukekayo:
This African lupess is curvy and buxom! :D
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Toggles:
A plump draik indeed! Toggles seems to be often overlooked for her own rotound beauty that she carries.
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Alohuaki:
A beautiful, big, blubbery, curvy, soft water draik. :D
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Blue:
Just curvy enough to be very lovely, and on the list.
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Ugararn:
Short, thick and 'big boned' Ugararn is a Tyranian beauty.
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PinkHeaven45:
A pink uni with an adorably chubby build.
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Bunhild_the_Valkyrie:
I cannot stand this woman, but it would not be an honest list if I left her out. This anthro chomby's voluptuous build hides her horrible inner nature. -_-
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Majik_Wandz:
Absolutely voluptuous with a stunning face.
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Mihjet:
A well-built gypsy vanner uni.
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Ahlannia:
A lovely buxom anthro ixi.
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Chirostenosornis:
The chubby little draikess.
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Duketoma:
The voodoo draik with a voluptuous build.
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Sauda_Xien:
A very buxom lupess from what I'm told.
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Tazzalla:
A lovely buxom beauty!
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Alisse_Baelline:
Wow, a curvy, leather-clad lupess!
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Kbvm:
Even as a ghost this skeith still keeps her curvy build.
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Jaydio:
A cute and curvy uni. ^_^
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Sin_of_silence:
Her baggy clothing belies her buxomness
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Starry_sky
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An adorably curvy (and sparkly) uni.
How you you qualify for the award?
Just have a female neopet that has a larger build.
Pictures are great, but descriptions work just as well.
(Even a one word note on her look-up.)
Farewell
So now you know of my saga. I have very little time for much between battling foes, singing in mead halls, obsessing over two lupesses, and following where my alphas lead.
Perhaps I shall run across you someday in my travels and we can share a drinking horn of mead and swap more tales.
Farewell
About Iron
Iron is a relic from a day long past. He was a brave, heroic warrior in his living days... a norse version of the 'knight in shining armor'. Dying bravely in battle, and saving many he wound up in Valhalla for an un-known amount of time.
Returned to life by a blessing of the Gods Iron is not undead, yet not truly alive. He is an Einherjar, one of the noble dead of Valhalla, with a ressurected body. When he dies his spirit returns to Valhalla for a time until his body is reformed once again. In this way he is virtually immortal. (Although this state of being does have it's hazards and draw-backs.)
Part of being granted this 'gift' of rebirth is that Iron is a servent of the Aesin (Norse Gods). They send him visions, often including valkyries, of what the gods wish for him to complete on Midgaard (earth) for them. He has never willingly defied thier wishes, and doesn't know what would happen if he did.
Although large and intimidating Iron is truly a friendly lupe. He is quick to laugh and smile. Although he does love to fight for fun, his more lethal combat is saved for those whom he considers to be truly dark, evil beings.
Iron is also very fond of large, buxom females. He is very vocal about this, and tends to be very flirty around plump women. Even female friends of his find that he's snuck weight gain powders and herbs into their food and drink. He likes to bestow the fattiest treats and sweets to women in hopes that they gain a few more curves.
And although he is flirty, Iron is truly a 'one woman lupe'.
Stats
Name: Iron_Cant_Bite Meaning: The term of a 'weapon protection' rune Nickname: Iron Eyes: Ice blue Fur: White Species: Northern Lupe Gender: Male
Age: Adult
Rebirth Date: February 15, 2004
Human: Pookabunny19
Personality: Friendly, Boastful, Good-Humoured, Fearless, Booming Voice
Powers: Naturally large and strong, Runic magic, Magical tattoos that hold spells and defensive magic, Immortal.
Forms: Quad, and anthro (on the full moon)
Height: Aprox 3' at shoulder
Anthro Height: 6'5
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Class: Berserker(barbarian)/Rune-scarred Warrior
Totem: Ice Wyrm
Element: Ice
Love/Crush: Somehow, someway I will win her.
Although I still can't seem to forget you.
Pups: None known of
Friends: Skadi,
Sesmor,
Tetsquati,
Meg,
PetPet: Sigurd the Snowickle (Ice wyrm hatchling)
PetPetPet: none
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Likes
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Dislikes
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- Mead
- Tussling
- Plump Females
- Hearty Songs
- Great Deeds
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Ice Wyrms
Greed
Cowards
Liars
Word-Breakers
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Song and Lyrics
The Immigrant Song
Led Zeppelin
A song based more around the Vikings. Although I am not a viking, this song still feels like one of the best modern, nordic themed songs for my page.
(Not to mention that it's an amazing song.)
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow
The hammer of the Gods
Will drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde
Singing and crying
Valhalla I am coming
On we sweep with treshing oar
Our only goal will be the Western shore
We come from the land of ice and snow
From the midnight sun
Where the hot springs blow
How soft your fields so green
Can whisper tales of gore
Of how we calmed the tides of war
We are your overlords
On we sweep with treshing oar
Our only goal will be the Western shore
So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing
Norse Glossary
Alfar ~ elves/faeries
Althing ~ Gathering
Aesir/Aesin ~ Norse Gods
Asgaard ~ the realm of the Gods
Balder ~ God of light joy, purity, innocence, and peace
Bifrost ~ rainbow bridge that leads to Ysgaard
Berserker ~ a norse warrior who battle frenzies
Bragi ~ God of poetry
Einherjar ~ the heroic dead, souls of heroes
Fenris ~ a giant wolf bound by a chain until Ragnarok
Forseti ~ God of justice
Freya ~ Goddess of love
Freyr ~ God of sun/rain and harvests
Freke and Gere ~ Odin's wolves
Frigga ~ Goddess of marriage, motherhood and home
Futhark ~ the norse runes
Garm ~ Hound that guards the gates of Helheim
Heimdall ~ God of light who guards the Bifrost
Hel ~ Goddess of disease, sickness and un-glorious death
Helheim ~ Hel's realm where those who didn't die gloriously go
Huginn and Munin ~ Odin's ravens 'Thought' and 'Memory
Jarl ~ norse leader/king
Jormungand ~ the midgaard serpent. A giant sea dragon
Jotun ~ giant
Jotunheim ~ home of the giants
Huskarl(s) ~ a Jarl's warriors, norse knights
Lindnorm/Lindwyrm ~ norse dragon
Loki ~ God of mischief, trickery and cunning
Longhouse ~ norse gathering hall
Midgaard ~ 'the middle realm'/Earth
the Norns ~ the three norse 'fates
Odin ~ the 'All-Father' Head of all the Aesir
Ragnarok ~ the battle at the end of the world
Saga ~ stories of heroes and battles
Sagaman ~ the poetic speech/writing of sagas
Sleipner ~ Odin's horse with eight legs
Skald ~ norse bard. Singer of songs, teller of sagas
Thor ~ God of thunder
Tyr ~ God of war, law and honor
Valhalla ~ the hall of the afterlife
Valkyrie(s) ~ chosen of the slain, norse 'angels
Volva ~ wise woman/shaman
Yggdrasil ~ the world tree, said to hold all existance
Fan Art
Copy and paste the link to see these wonderful presents.
Thank you everybody!
I hope everybody signed thier work!
~*~
Note: Don't forget, ANY using of art without the artist's permission is ILLEGAL! So if you actually take and use these fan pictures without the original artist's concent, it is a federal offense!
(Not to mention that Neo will freeze you, they crack down on art thieves rather harshly.)
~*~
Links
Adoptables
Awards
None yet.
Started 04/09/07
Counter from:
boingdragon.com
Many a thanks to you Jez for helping to fix my coding glitches.
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