First Impression: At first glance, it looks very professional. Looking at your navigation, I can see that you have a lot going on here.

Quickly scrolling through your page though, I see a lot of text. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it just feels to me like I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and it looks a bit boring. I'd add some pictures here and there to break up the text. I'll give suggestions about where later.

Layout: Your layout is gorgeous. The editing and colors of your main banner really set the calm tone for your entire page. The background design is subtle yet it really works. The headers, the textbox, everything. It's all fabulous.

You didn't make it, at least that's the impression I'm under, so I'm not going to go too far with this, but I would say you found a great person to make your layout. One thing I would suggest is giving them a written out link under your credits area. I know they left their username on your banner, but I actually didn't see it at first glance. I checked the bottom of the page to see who made it and, since it didn't credit anyone there, I expected it was you. When I went back up, I saw that it wasn't, but it was a pain to type in their UN to find the master behind the design. Of course, I could be mistaken and all of this could be yours except the banner which, in this case, I would just add a link to them for the banner at the bottom. Do you see where I'm going with this? It should be clear who created the layout, that's all.

Organization: All in all, everything seems to be in a good, working order. I like that I ca scroll through your page and understand why things are in the order they are in.

Grammar: In your first sentence of the page, you say:
Hello there bluejay55100, you seem have stumbled into Vanna's Avatar Lending (VAL).
In all honesty, I think the word "into" should be replaced with "upon". I mean, stumbling into a page doesn't really make quite as much sense.

Shortly after that, your page reads:
I currently lend all avatar pets. I am now currently working on earning neopoints to buy...
I would toss the second "currently" there. It's repetitive. Perhaps replace the "now currently" in the second of those sentences with the simple "also". It sounds much better. It should read:
I currently lend all avatar pets. I am also working on earning neopoints to buy...

Later in that second sentence, you need a comma between the words "meowclops" and "which" because there should be a pause when reading that sentence.

Change this:
I am currently lend a Faerie Queen Doll (FQD) and Meowclops.
to something more like this:
I currently lend for the Faerie Queen Doll (FQD) and Meowclops avatars.

Where you say:
What you wanna be lent:
I would change "wanna" to "want to". It sounds much more professional.

Content: Let's begin with your welcome section, shall we? You've got a lot of great background information here. I see your purpose and what you do. Great. I don't think you should ask for donations so soon. Perhaps you should let the reader see what else your page has in store, then possibly mention that. Your site is here to help us, not for us to help you. Of course, it would be nice, but that's not your main goal. When you do ask for the donation though, add a quick link to your UL so the person can skip all the hassle of clicking around and copying and pasting to find you.

You have a lot of updates here, but I think you should clean them out. We really aren't interested in what you did in January. We want to see what you've done in the last few weeks and possibly the last month at most. I don't think people are going to just read through nine months of updates, you know?

Your rules seem pretty clear. I'm glad you instruct the lendees to read your FAQ because otherwise it just wouldn't happen. Your rules aren't absurd and they're actually quite followable. Very simple indeed.

The FAQ is good too. Your information is nice. You don't give out unnecessary filler questions which many do add to their pages.

I think this entire section about your pet lending form needs to be moved next to your box about the pets you lend. It would make much more sense. I absolutely love how you added the information about monthly transfer amount next to your form. I realize that I have bonus transfers, but I can never remember how many I actually have. It's great to know without having to research it and it makes it really easy to apply for a pet lend. In your form, you ask "Which 2 requirements?" Either I skipped over something, or I just don't get it. What do you mean here?

Your item lending section also has great info. It bothers me when people lend and if I randomly apply and they send an item I have to rush to research how to use the item for the avvie. It's not only bothersome, but it also takes up precious time and it can make you feel like you've been scammed if they take too long. Really, this makes it easier on everyone. I think the "post a smiley so I know you read" thing is pointless. It's literally right next to the form. The sender doesn't have to read much to fool you into thinking they read your rules, etc. But, again, your requirements seem doable and I'm sure if someone seems trustworthy and you bend the rules they are sure not to lelt you down.

The requirements you set in your meet the family section are also fitting. One suggestion? I think you should really say that you'll look into people's accounts if they don't meet some requirements. I believe that even if a person doesn't have 25+ stamps that they should still be considered for mummy- ruki. I mean, it's your decision since you're the lender, but that's my opinion. Just because a person doesn't collect stamps doesn't mean they could not be good candidates. I know it's an aspect of avatar collecting, but it's sure a huge dedication that costs a lot of points. Now, I'm sure you're really looking for dedication, but perhaps they have 210 avatars rather than 190, they've played 200+ games, and they have an account that's 110 months old? I'm not saying these are bad requirements, I just think you should state that you'll weigh everything in if they don't meet them because you did say earlier that there were exceptions. In my opinion, that needs emphasis.

You have a huge selection of avatars and your site is really looking like a great source for lending.

Your lending lists are huge. Seeing that, I'm glad that you've laid out the rules about how to go on with the chain lending.

Goals are also great to have. Dates and all. That's great that it's there.

I am so glad to see your wall of fame. It's not so much that I'm glad to see that people help, but rather that you have thanked them all and gave them credit. Perhaps links to their lookups would be nice though? It's just a suggestion.

One last thing: say that you're only looking for avatar lending facilities as affies. You didn't really make that clear.

Creativity: I don't really know how creative you can make an avatar lending site, but I think you've made yours a bit unique. You've got your lists laid down by month and everything works.

Reliability: I think you sound extremely reliable here. You have a huge selection of avatar objects/pets that you lend and you have a lot of success stories. Your rules are laid out clearly and I really agree with most of your requirements. You seem flexible too, which is great.

Sitely: You've got plenty of affiliates. I feel like if I need something you don't have, I'm sure to find it somewhere. That selection of buttons you have there is just wonderful.
Other: All in all, you have an amazing site. Would I ask for a lend from you? More than likely yes. If I am ever seeking out a certain avatar or I have a sudden craving for one I would be sure to check out your site. It has everything it needs. It's organized, it has great information, and it seems reliable. Nice work!

First Impression: I love, love, love your banner! It's attractive! Perhaps you should make the image so it doesn't continuously rotate through the blurring image though. It's distracting. Already it looks nice and I want to keep reading.

Layout: So, I'm not going to say anything else about the banner because, well, you already know what I think. I love the orange on the black for the navigation and the off-centered textbox actually looks surprisingly nice where it is. The page looks balanced even though you mingled with the colors. Overall, I definitely approve. You picked a nice layout to toy with.

Organization: As far as I can tell, everything seems to run smoothly. You don't really jump from topic to topic, which makes it much easier to read. Nice work here!

Introduction: The fact that you used the halloween mail button already sets the mood for your page. It matches perfectly. I took on your suggestion about using full screen and boy did that make a world of a difference. It was much easier to look at that way, so I'm glad you said something about it.

Her Character: The adoptable you used definitely adds character to her, which is good. I would love to see your pronunciation added here. Is it like "Pickles"? "Pie-cleeze"? Your pronunciation would definitely help us see how you're imagining this pet, you know?

Your description of Cy is refreshing. The sarcasm, the pranks, all of it. It already seems to me that you have a way with words; you have a way with describing things that I can't explain, I just know I like. I feel the same about your personality traits section.

As for your likes and dislikes, I feel that they're a bit cliche. She dislikes pretty, good stuff and likes dark, mischievousness things. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty easy to figure out. Things need to be shaken up. Tell us something unique, different, and interesting. I mean, it's great that she's into creepy stuff, but honestly, anyone could have made that her character. You want your character for her to be unique. If she isn't, then why would the owner pick you over everyone else?

I like that you speak about her acquaintances, but you bring up Dy before we know who that is. I would either explain these extra characters earlier or I would not bring them up until afterwords.

Plans: Everything looks good to me. buttttt, you also say, "I've only been in the BC once so far and I will begin again when I get the drawing equipment I mentioned before." This isn't true. You never told us anything about the equipment up to this point. As a reader, I have no idea what you're talking about and I know I haven't skipped over anything.

I also like your reasoning for a spyder. I agree that in this case, the simplest was the best!

Your petlookup is also very nice. It fits the character well.

Why: I think this section was alright. Not really special, but the reference to R.L. Stein was interesting. Plus you've got an entire application to back this all up, so I think you're good to go!

Art: Your art is super. Color would be nice, but I really think it looks good as it also. It's up to you. You've got a great amount of fan art, and all of that is interesting too. Of ll your art, I think my favorite is probably your first image on display. I'm actually pretty impressed! As for your adoptables, I think those should go in a textbox. They look out of place since your fan art is in a box also. Again, it's an opinion, but it would make the page look less messy.

Extras: The theme song is an excellent idea! I really wish I could read music though xD

Victims (etc. xD): Your pets have nice, short, sweet descriptions that don't bore me. They're all a bit interesting in their own way, so I like how everything here is put.

About Me: Woah. This section is way too long. It seems like it's almost longer than everything about Py in the first place. Goodness, you should really think about cutting this down. I'd say something about liking the PC and enjoying gifting. Maybe keep in when you joined and your goals. Some of that just seems like filler. Honestly, we don't need to know about your favorite world. Well, that's just me, so please do what you'd please here. Just cut. It. Down. In your real life section you talk a lot about your history with history. That's great and all, but after you tell us you like it it ends up getting old.

You've got what we want to hear, but keep it to just that!

Accounts: I like the info you have here. but "French" should be capitalized in your line about lamcken.

Oh, and Rise Against is ahhh-mazing. Just sayin'! :)

Other: Things seem to be off to a great start, but it looks like there is a lot of room for improvement. I don't think that's a bad thing, I just think some things should happen before you turn it in.

Best of luck adopting!

First Impression: I'm a little bit bored already, and I only think that this is a lending agency, but I'm really not sure with the first glance. I see an avatar, some words and a whole lot of blank space. Eh.

Layout: Your layout really does take away from the first impression. It's boring, there aren't any navigation links, and the whole thing drags on to the bottom. There's a lot more scrolling than there needs to be. The blue headers and borders are much to light for my liking also. Maybe, if you really like the layout you have, you could darken the blues and add an attractive banner to the top of your page. I understand that it is a premade, so you didn't make it, but I think you could have really chosen a better one for your site.

Organization: Simply put, I think everything is in a good order for your site. It's easy to follow and it isn't messy. Again, I think navigation would really be nice.

Grammar: Number three in the rules should not have a comma. It's unnecessary there.

You only have 8 rules... that means the number 9 there is unneeded.

Content: I think your site is absolutely wonderful, but there are a few things I think I should comment on. (Good and bad!)

In the first paragraph of the page, I don't like how you're automatically telling the reader what you're looking for so you can add to your agency. I understand that it is definitely good for your agency to have more to lend, but I feel like it starts out sounding like the site is more oriented toward yourself rather than the visitor. Perhaps you should introduce your site and, if you want to leave that information there, say that it would be wonderful for someone to help you adopt more pets for lending. I'm sure people would be more willing to help if they actually saw how amazing the rest of your site is.

I feel like that whole first section is just about you. I would really, really consider making changes there. We would really love to help more if you helped us first, you know? The donations would be going to a fabulous cause, but it sort of sounds like you just want points at the moment. I know you aren't, so that needs some adjusting.

Your "How to Chain Lend Pets" section was very clear. I didn't quite understand it completely until I read the example, but it definitely makes sense. Which, by the way, is good because otherwise you would end up with confused recipients. Now things should run smoothly, which should really get people talking about your lovely site.

Where you tell the reader to NM you in #5 of the rules, I would recommend adding a link to your lookup for ease of access. It makes people happier! Anyway, your rules are clear as day. Great work there. Perhaps you should use bold rather than caps for emphasis in the rules though? It makes it easier on the eyes.

Your requirements are really good for your site. They're not unachievable, but they show dedication. Without dedication, and I'm sure you already know, you will likely be scammed.

You lend a lot of avatars. Amazing. You have some common ones and some uncommon ones which is really nice to see. I don't understand why "Items" is in bold and why "Pets + Petpets" is a header though. I'd love to see that fixed. I also don't understand the organization of your avatars. Are they in lines based on the pets they are attached to? Maybe it's just me, but I was a little confused. Perhaps you could clear that up somewhere.

Overall, your variety is awesome. The fact that you have dedicated so much time in gathering all these pets and such for lending just makes me so happy! ;D

Creativity: So all-in-all, I don't think your site was one of a kind in any way. It's not a low quality in any way, it's just not unique. Then again, I don't really know what you could do to a site like this to make it different yet functional. Maybe that can e your own personal challenge?

Reliability: Oh my goodness, you seem extremely reliable. I feel like I could request a lend and, because I meet requirements, I feel like you would definitely be trustworthy (and trusting!). You've built up your site and you have a lot of pets to lend. I am extremely happy with what I see and I don't feel like you wouldn't help me if I needed help.

Sitely: You have a nice link back button, but I would recommend requesting a few more from sites. Perhaps check the section at Soroptimist? It's just a thought.

As for affies, I think you could really get some more. I love that they are all lending pages, but you should look into adding. They're all reliable, or so it seems, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I also think you should add some more directories/get listed in more places. It makes it much easier for people to find your snazzy site.
Other: Would I recommend this site/revisit? Uhh, yes! Actually, I may request a lend soon, if you don't mind at all. You have a large variety of lends and it seems that your rules should keep everything running smoothly. I don't see why I wouldn't recommend it!

First Impression: Holy guacamole. B-e-autiful. I see the space-y, out-of-this-world theme that is drawing me into your page. It's pleasing to the eye. I already know you're applying for Saphfora the alien aisha without even reading.

Layout: Your layout really fits your theme. I think you picked a really good site to get a request from. Everything just.... works. Since you didn't make it yourself, that's about all I'll say here.

Organization: In all honesty, I'm not really thrilled with the organization, but I didn't have any major problems. It's not a huge deal, but I don't feel like the "Why" section should be your last. I mean really, we want to know why way before we get to the end. I would recommend placing it after your plans or story section. It's just a thought though.

I like how your future plans is first and foremost on your page, which isn't necessarily the norm, but at the same time, I think dedications should be saved for the end.

Within your sections, things seem to be neat. I dislike the other characters under the story though. I would explain Saph there and add the others to the family section.

It's all just my opinion though, so don't sweat it.

Introduction: Eh. You don't really have one. You pretty much tell us that the navigation is on the side, then your next section jumps right into plans. As of now, we know nothing whatsoever about your character for this pet. Without the layout and the glancing at your other sections, you would have already lost my interest. Not a good thing. I would throw some pizzazz into that first section if I were you.

Navigation: Again, I covered this in the organization section, your nav does look nice, I just don't really like your ordering.

Home: I don't like how your green disclaimer is partially by the image and partially beneath it. I would definitely move that down or make it smaller so it all fits next to the image. Otherwise, you've got a decent start.

Future Plans: Your first section is good. I don't like that she's going to a side, BUT your story is promising so I would not hold that against you if I was the owner.

As for customization, and I don't mean this to be rude, but I don't think the owner really cares about your plans for the other pets' customization. They want to see your plans for Saph and what you've done and, in most cases, that's all. I mean, I can't speak for that owner, but I think those other plans are just taking up space and drawing the attention away from your focus on your goal, which is Saphfora.

I love your little petpet character. It's creative yet not over the top. When I read this, "Zoop has a hardcore hatred for Nightglade," I was confused. We haven't read your story yet since this is the first section. Who in the world is Nightglade? To us, it almost sounds like you reused an application and forgot to change the name, you know? We are aware that you didn't, as we read on, but right now you're just confusing us. You can't throw us into the story when we have no background on the subject matter.

On your other plans section, I would give links to your other pets' lookups for ease of navigation.

Now that I'm reading this again, I'm starting to think it would be easier for you to move this section down rather than reword things. It's up to you.

Story: In your opening, "No one knows for sure. Yet a telegram is received from the space station quite soon after it arrives," should be "No one knows for sure, yet a telegram is received from the space station quite soon after it arrives." That period should just be a comma so it all flows better.

I absolutely adore the little strike out of words here. It's so refreshing and it's almost kind of humorous.

I also like your colored reference dots. since you didn't make art that needed a ref chart, they were a good pop of color.

As for the other pets, I feel like they're completely unnecessary here. I would really remove them.

Family: First thing is first... make all the pet images the same size. It's a bit unattractive and messy looking when they all vary.

While I do enjoy reading your blurbs, I think Saph should have an entire section, not just that little paragraph to explain. I would add that to the story section. That section should only be for your other pets to show what you have done.

Get rid of, "Limbed the Baby Ogrin is going to be traded for Nightglade next month." It's not your pet yet, so we aren't really concerned with them.

Dedications: You should make the screenshots of your fonts smaller. Make your tag {img src="IMAGE URL HERE" width="300px" height="100px"} but with the regualr carrot tags. Those were just random pixel numbers I threw in, so please do change them.

Oh, and all your adoptables? So cute! I love the addition to the application.

About Me: Honestly, it's cool that you found Neo from the happy meal toys (I did too, just the first time they were out, not the second!), but we aren't really interested in you missing the ToW plot. Sorry!

As for a cat named Montague? That's awesome! I'm guessing someone likes English lit?

I think you should say more about yourself in the real life section and a bit less about babysitting if you ask me. I mean, it just takes up space here.

Why: Okay. I've either caught a lie or a huge mistake. You said, "The Alien Aisha has been my ultimate dream pet ever since they were first released on January 23, 2004." Yet in the section before you said, "I joined Neo (on sophie070896) in 2005..." Yeah, that's not going to work. You couldn't have wanted a pet on a game you had never played.

Other: Overall, you could definitely fix some things, but you have a great start. Good luck!

First Impression: Your layout has very clean cut colors, so I can read when I come in. One thing? I'm already confused about how "undead" and bands go together, but hey, I'm sure I'll figure it out. I hope.

(When I went on, I eventually did. xD)

Layout: Your banner was edited nicely, but the name in the corner does not really look good. The red against the black doesn't really stand out and, in my opinion, it just doesn't look professional. As for the rest of the layout, I love the navigation right at the top, the font is one of my favorites, and I like your headers. I don't understand how the pink italics and such match though. I mean, your layout is a bit of a darker style and the pink is out of place. I would definitely try some red there. Unless that is red? I can't really decide if it is or not. Anyway, it looks pink-ish. I would make that darker. The only thing that absolutely bothers me is the different pages. I would try an anchored page. Switching slows my computer down. If it's all on one page, then everything will load an be done. Instead I have to wait every time I switch pages. You should definitely look into changing that.

I think you should shorten your text boxes/divs for your actual content. It's longer than the page, well, mine anyway. Either shorten them so I don't have to scroll to see the bottom of your text box, or please just ditch them. I think you should get rid of the text box for the rules also, but I have something to say about those in the next section.

Organization: Everything looks like it's in good order to me. I think sitely should be after your pickup section though. I would put the rules on a separate section from the banners because what if someone decides to skip that section to see your icons? They'll be missing the rules. So with that, it makes your rules a bit of a waste of space. Everything else is in a nice, typical order, so nice job there.

Grammar: Use ctrl+f to find your original text on your page (in the first quotes) and either change it as suggested, or revise it yourself.

From the home page:
."Here at UNDEAD, we have graphics ranging from bands/musicians, to movies and things that fall into the MISC. section, but we specify in musicians and bands.
Should be:
Here at UNDEAD, we have graphics ranging from bands/musicians, to movies, to things that fall into the MISC. section, but we specify in musicians and bands.

."We supply banners and icons only.
Sounds better as: "We supply only banners and icons.

*UNDEAD* should just be in caps like it was in the first sentence. Unless you want to change the first one to have the asterisk. It doesn't really matter. It should just be uniform.

From the banners page:
."2. Do not bother me by neomailing me 24/7 about when I will have your icon/banner finished, because I won't finish it any faster!
Should be: "2. Do not bother me by neomailing me 24/7 asking when I will have your icon/banner finished, because I won't finish it any faster if you keep asking!

."It's really agitating to me, and tends to draw away from the image itself in my opinion.
Would be better if it said: "It's really agitating and tends to draw away from the image itself, in my opinion.

That's it. Really they weren't major mistakes, just some things that could use revision.

Content: I would have a lot more to say about your content, except you don't have loads and loads up for me to take a look at. Of what I did see, this is what I thought. And I think I missed a few banners and such here and there because of the dragging and dropping :P

Favorites? I like the wording on your Three Days Grace banner. The colors there were nice too. I liked the editing on the All Time Low one too. Oh, and your blends were pretty neat. I don't have any idea who Jordan Witzigrueter is, but he has a cool blend xD Adam Gontier's blend is nice too.

Least favorite? Your Owl City banner was just... blah. It wasn't creative at all. Your Lost in the Darkness lyrics banner was a wee bit difficult to read. Really I didn't like the lyrics banners much. I understand that it isn't really you though because it's difficult to make a bunch of words look like on such a space. I'm also, in all honesty, not a fan of your icons. The ones you placed text on didn't look very polished or professional. The only thing about the blends was some of them seemed hard to read.

Creativity: I like the bands idea, but it's not like it's nothing that's been done before. Your site wasn't really anything new. It didn't have anything unique to offer.

Reliability: I think you've definitely got good content, you've got contact established with visitors, and you take requests. I'd definitely say you seem like you've got a reliable site on your hands.

Sitely: You have a bajillion and one buttons and all are very nice. I honestly thing you're good on those! You have a decent amount of affiliates also. You're listed in plenty of places and you've got a few reviews to flaunt. Wonderful. The more opinions the better, right? And I'm glad to see you gave credit to the textures you've used. I can't tell you how happy that makes me!
Other: I think you should consider upping the preview banner size. It's tedious work to look at each one individually, you know? It's annoying. I mean, enough that would make me want to give up and seriously run.

I think you could really use some work, but all-in-all you've got a great start. I'd work on a few things here and there as mentioned, but eventually you'll have it all figured out.

Quality: Meh. It's not terrible, but I can't say its the highest quality I've seen. I know you like your new art form with the oil paint brush, but it doesn't look as nice as it would if you just used a regular brush. The lines are sharp and it honestly does take from the quality. In your pick-up section, I'll just use your first as an example. See where the bruce's yellow around his eyes doesn't really blend with the bottom outline of yellow? That's what I'm talking about. It doesn't really fit together.

Appeal: I actually like looking at your art, but I think you should do without the black background on the images. It makes it look out of place on your page. Again, back to what I said in the last section, I think the quality does take away from the appeal of your artwork.

Creativity: I think you really went after the creativity with the oil brush and the inverted colors, but I really don't think it worked. I already said what I think about the brush, so I won't ramble on about that, but I think the inverted colors is a wee bit pointless. If someone wants a picture of a plushie kacheek (which I saw on your page), I don't think they really want it turned green, you know? It was a good thought, but I don't think people will really use the second image as much as they use the first. You're spending unneeded time inverting and uploading it.

Other: My favorites are probably the royal girl kacheek and the first plushie kacheek picture. Maybe you're just good with kacheeks, I don't know, but they were both very nice. The only one I really didn't like was the baby kau. I think the oil paint really took away from that one.

Overall, you really have a great start. I do like your attempt at creativity, but again, it really didn't work for me. Best of luck with your requests!

First Impression: Your background is extremely distracting and I don't have any idea how I'm going to be able to read this...

Layout: Again, the backroud has to go. If you really can't part with the background, I would suggest using GIMP or another free program to fade it out a bit. It's quite obnoxious. And maybe it's just me, but I don't like the separated boxes either. Overall, I think you just need to find a new layout.

Organization: One thing I recommend to everyone is that the "about me" section goes after the about the pet. It's not something that has to be done, it's just a suggestion. Otherwise, I think everything was in good, working order.

Introduction: Your introduction really doesn't draw in anyone's attention. It's a bit dry. Toss some excitement in there to show the current owner that you're a fun person! I also feel that telling them to scroll down to the navigation is a wee bit pointless, but with that you can do as you please.

Navigation: All of your links worked! Bravo! The bullets next to each link can really be tossed aside though. Since everything is centered, they look out of place.

Disclaimers: Again, just ditch the bullets! Otherwise, just fine.

About Me: I honestly didn't feel like you went on and on here, so very good. I think you should rearrange the part about liking knitting and sewing in your paragraph. You jump from real life to neo life and back to real life again. It's choppy and it shouldn't be. It should all flow.

Why: So usually, I find a lot wrong with this section in people's applications. I'm glad to say that I didn't this time. You like the vowels in the name, which is great to hear because there are a lot of 'em! I definitely agree with the tropical sound of her name and now I'm wondering if you've incorporated that into your story? Hmm. I'm sure I'll find out. You've used this section to get me interested in the rest of your application which is really needed at this point.

My Pets: The links are good. I love how you show that you've done something with them. Some may think it seems lazy to drag the owner off the page, but I personally think it shows that you've already got a page for them, which is great.

Character: Unless you plan on thoroughly RPing this pet, I think this is too lengthy. I was, and I'm not going to lie, completely bored. I didn't really want to read all of it. I mean really, it was just stating her life. It would have been an easier read if it was presented in another format. Perhaps break it up by likes and dislikes and such, or create a story introducing her? I don't know, but please, do something.

Art: What do you mean you aren't good at art? The shading was very nice! I would love to see even more of it.

Story: I wasn't really thrilled about having to read more after the character section, but I gave it a go anyway. I'm not really a huge stroy person to begin with, so don't take it too personally. It was hard for me to get into. I don't really know what to say to fix it, but I would suggest asking some others for opinions too. The end was very interesting, I admit, and in the end I wasn't upset that I had read it through.

Customization: Very nice! I love how you kept the royal clothes on her. The background accentuates the colors in her robe and such. And it looks sparkly and fit for a princess. Now isn't that something? Wonderful job with the background.

Conclusion: You already gave a link to your gallery. You also repeated your statement about wanting to do more customization.

Other: Overall, it could definitely use some work. I can see that you want this pet though, so don't worry. We can see your dedication and longing to be the adoptee. Good luck!

First Impression: What kinds of sites will I find here today? I already want to stay and take a look around because from the first glance, it seems to me like I'll easily be able to naviate.

Layout: I think you picked a wonderful site to obtain a custom from. The book at the top really makes your layout feel almost antique-like, but it a good way. The setup is great for a directory. I'm not really going to elaborate too much since this wasn't made by you. Anyway, great layout. I'm glad you requested a custom.

Organization: While you are very organized, it looks to me like you copied the exact sections from here. I really think you should organize your page in your own fashion. Usually I wouldn't make such accusations, but you do admit you got the idea from there in your sitely section. I think it's great that Soroptimist inspired you, but such inspiration shouldn't convince you to copy.

Grammar: In your update from May 30, "I've cleared out my Inbox also I have a New site Buttons 4 U!" should be, "I've cleared out my Inbox, and I now have a New site Buttons 4 U!" or something similar. Where there is a slash between "site" and the letter "s", I think you should really ditch the slash and figure out whether it should be plural or not. I do understand that that was probably there when you adopted the layout though. There should be a period after the visitor tag in the last sentence of the "To What Link?" section. The word, "yet" is unnecessary in the featured site section on the first page. Under site community, the start of the sentence should have a comma. It should read, "Hey guys, we need..." In the same section there should be a comma between "you" and "go", so it reads, "...like you, go to..." There should be a period after the word "helper," and "thankyou" should be two separate words. Under the rules, there should be a smiley between, "smileys," and, "so please," so it reads, "...smilies, so please..." A comma shoudl go between the words, "hello" and, "we" on the first sentence of the "Affies," section. Under, "Fan Mail," there should be a semi-colon separating the words, "fan mail," and, "feel free". Under your first question in the FAQ, "Your site gets judged on 3 things colour, How much content there is & quality," should be, "Your site gets judged on 3 things: colour, quantity & quality." The first letter in the second sentence of the second FAQ question should be capitalized. On your first tip, "your," should be, "you're." At the end of the same sentence, it should say, "...take requests," not, "...do requests." Your third question should be, "3) I want to make my own directory. Any tips?"

Content: For a directory, you have very little content. I can't really say it is enough that would give me a reason to return, but it's a start. You have a lot of empty sections, but over time they should fill. I did see you on the boards, so at least you're attempting to get recruits for your site. I have one major problem with this and, perhaps you don't quite understand that this is sort of copying another person's work, but you are using the exact same images/resources to convey your recomended sites that Soroptimist does. You're using the same, "REQUEST" image they use also. What's funny here is that the butterfly doesn't even go with your site theme. You should really try to find different resources than the exact ones Soroptimist is using because it makes you seem like a copy-cat. You have a lot of grammar errors, which really leads me to believe that you didn't proof read at all.

Creativity: There's nothing new here. A lot of your ideas come from, as I said before, Soroptimist. It's boring and you should add something that makes it your own. Use different icons to display your recommended sites and such, and give a criteria explaining why you chose what you chose. You really need something new here though.

Reliability: At this point, your site is really unreliable. There is very little content and if I needed to find something, I don't think I would return to your directory in particular. You don't sound like you're here to help, but rather to make people like you and give you stuff. Example? Under your FAQ, your second "question" is really just you begging for stuff. You should really get rid of that. Under your fan mail, you also sound like you're begging for fan mail. Don't ask. If someone wants to give you fan mail, let them.

Sitely: You only have two affiliates. I would get rid of the seemingly hundreds of "Button Here," buttons. They just take up space and show us that there's pretty much a dead end in the affiliates area. You do have a nice sister site though. Kudos to you there. That's a great way to be found. I like most of your buttons, but the first and second are quite unappealing. If I came across those on another site, I probably would not click them.
Other: I don't think you really need the, "Recently Closed," section. I mean, we can't visit those anyway. At the end where you say you get your ideas from, "Scoroptimist," and others, it should be, "Soroptimist." The link needs to be fixed too.

Other than that, you're site is just decent, though I can see that you're just getting started. It could really use a lot of work though.

5 Likes:
1. I really feel like your review styles are simple and easy to understand. If I requested something, I would know what to expect. It's really helpful when deciding on a style.
2. The idea of a private review is nice. It shows that you are really just here to help people improve which, in my opinion, should be the main goal of a review site. It should be in place to help people improve.
3. For the most part, you seem to use vivid language and you don't repeat yourself. It's very easy to read what you've read.
4. I love how you give time frames for requests. The fact that a person knows how long they should expect a review to take is refreshing. It could really be helpful if they were in a rush or needed something done quickly, if you know what I mean. That idea should prove helpful.
5. Your form is simple and isn't complicated. You ask for only the basic information needed and it should only take a short moment to fill out. It makes it so much easier to request a review when the requester can fill out a form in no time flat.

5 Dislikes:
1. I absolutely despise your layout. It's not that it's a bad layout, it just does not work for a review site. It's unappealing with all your information on it, and when you scroll down it's unbalanced. The right is "heavier" than the left, meaning there's more content on the right and too much white on the left. Everything seems thrown on the page and you have to continue scrolling and scrolling and scrolling to see everything. It's cluttered and messy. I think the reviews should go in boxes so they look nicer and don't just sit there. I also think you should add a banner to the top with your title to make it more appealing.
2. I don't understand the percent scores you give in your reviews. You don't really explain why a person received a certain score, but you instead just give them a seemingly random one. I really think you should give some more reasoning on your scores.
3. I know you probably love your site name, but I really suggest you drop the squiggly line in the middle of cupcake and reviews. It just looks... silly and out of place.
4. I don't mean for you to think that I think you're mean, because I'm sure you aren't, but you sound rude. After reading your rules, all I learned is that you don't care about my feelings and you won't acknowledge me if I don't listen to you. I understand that people who don't follow the rules are annoying, but it would be much nicer to just say you will simply state that you will ignore those messages.
5. I really think you should get some link back buttons rather than banners. Honestly, I don't like your banners. They're unappealing and I don't think I would be proud to show it off on my site, you know? The idea is nice, I just don't agree with it. Perhaps a simple request would do. I feel that would also get people back to your site, also.

There is a lot your site could improve on. You have the right idea, I just don't think you're quite there yet. With some work, I'm sure you could definitely have a more reliable site. It's most definitely do-able!

First Impression: And hmm.. what is this? Premade layouts and requests? Yeah, I'm in! Such a nice layout and... oh? I can get one of my own?

Layout: Your layout is a great quality and perfect for drawing in attention because really, who doesn't want a layout like yours? The setup is really nice. I like the three boxes on the main page. I also adore the asterisk navigation, but I don't really like waiting for the titles to show up when I hover. I still think it's a very attractive navigation. Some sort of labels would really enhance that all together though. I think if the asterisks could turn into titles when they're hovered over then I'd be really impressed. It's not a problem now, but that would be so nice for us impatient people. I think you could really pick more interesting pictures for the sides. Your editing adds a nice effect, but they don't have an affect on me. They're just shrooms around the page. The colors aren't as vibrant and the title and asterisks at the top either. Again, it's not that I don't like it, I just think it could be improved. Your coding fits perfectly with it all though and I think the double line borders on the topic titles really balance everything out and tie it all together. Oh, one last thing. Your image is a bit slow to load. I looked at the image source, and I'm pretty positive it's your host. I started using the same site, but the problem is that it's slow to load things. I would switch to another free host such as photobucket if I were you.

Organization: I love how everything is set up here. I also like how the poll is featured under the extras section. Even without looking at the navigation titles by hovering, I can easily figure out where the buttons lead.

Grammar: The first bullet from your May 31st update should say, "Aly's," not "Alys." I know it's only an update, but it's all important! Although it isn't really grammar, I think you should put italics on, "Useful," under the, "Featured Site," because it needs emphasis and should stand out. That's really just an opinion, but I think it would look better. The second bullet under the request section should say, "someone else's," not, "someelse's." There should not be apostrophes in any of the words in the second sentence of the third bullet under that same request section. The fifth bullet should be two sentences. That comma is out of place. There should be no comma in the second to last bullet-ed line, and it would sound better if it said, "...I will neomail you when it's done," at the end. Under your, "read the rules," page, there should be an apostrophe in, "Shocks," in the third sentence. I think that's it!

Content: Your CSS premades are, well, decent. They're all very simple and there's nothing that's really exciting about them. I do like the navigation on the light blue style though. It makes it look like a small castle. The first one, which is black, is also nice. The use of neon colors without them being obnoxious is impressive. I like the mix of colors without them being too exciting. As for the other two? They just... are. I have minimal coding skills, but I could easily set something like those up. They're just nothing special. I guess if you were purposely looking for something like that, they'd be okay. Otherwise, they're just blah. After seeing your site layout, I'm a bit disappointed. Your image CSS is fabulous though. My favorite one is the island layout. Just like your site layout! I love them all and have no problems. I really think you should either stick with those or snazzy up the CSS layouts.

As for your customs, I am not at all disappointed. I wish you would have made something like these a bit more generic as premades. I went ahead and looked at the coding in a petpage (I hope you don't mind. I didn't save!) to evaluate it and I'm not at all upset with what I saw. If I requested a layout, I can assure you I'd be happy with the product you would deliver. I do think the credit on the layout for Christine is a bit annoying though. Perhaps you could put your credit on the image once in a place where it couldn't be removed? The multiple lines of your bright yellow credit take away from the overall effect of the girl's site. Otherwise, I loved both of those too! Your stuff is a high quality, you just need to show it in your premades!

Creativity: Did I see creativity in your premades? Not really. Your customs were 100 times better. The skull navigation, the pretty image, just.. everything. Again, I think you should put that kind of awesomeness into your premades.

Reliability: From the first page, I can already find you/your lookup. There's not a point on the page that makes me think you're a rotten person that just wants attention with whatever. I think you're really here to help people who want layouts and, well, that makes visitors like me happy!

Sitely: Your buttons are exciting and would definitely drag me in. The black button with the lightning is pretty awesome. It's so simple yet so intriguing! Honestly though, while the owner of your sister site seems nice enough through your summary, I don't really agree that that site is as high of a quality as yours. I'm not saying it's a bad site, I just don't agree that I would actually use a layout from there. Really, you should be sisters with the best quality site so everyone can go back and forth and love you both. If you send them to a lower quality site, what will they think of you? You do have plenty of high-quality affiliates though, and that's helpful when you're trying to become known. You've had a few reviews also, which means you're on the path to having the best site you can in the opinions of many people. That's great!

Other: Overall, the only thing that really disappointed me was the premades. Other than that, I probably would return to your page. If I wanted a new layout, I would consider you because yes, you have high quality material that would impress my visitors. You've got a great thing going on here and you should definitely keep it up.

First Impression: Your site is beautiful! I've always been a fan of cherry blossoms, and the site is adorable. Are your buttons this fabulous? Well, I'm sure we'll find out. As of now, I really want to continue browsing around!

Layout: I absolutely adore this layout. All of the link mapping on your main image works. It's all in place and if I click the words I go exactly where I'm supposed to. I don't think there's a blank part on any of the words that I can click without moving. Your title font works well with your tree and the link fonts compliment the rest of the site. The colors are complimentary and I love the "click here" neomail link at the top. I have zero complaints about this layout. The fact that you coded it yourself is a nice touch to your site and really makes it yours. No matter how hard I try, I can't find something I just downright dislike here.

Organization: Your sidebar is in perfect order. I think everything is right where it needs to be, although I really think you should put your portfolios in their own section on the sidebar. When people come to your site, they're going to immediately want to see examples. If they like them, they might stay awhile and request a product from you. You've got them on there, but they are sort of hidden. You should bring them out of hiding and give the visitors an easy access to them.

Grammar: I've got nothing. Even your updates seem to have been proof read. Seriously, it's flawless.

Content: Let's start with the banners, shall we? On the first one, I feel like your username is too dominate in the graphic. I think it would look nicer, and stand out the entire time, if you placed your username/site name at the bottom corner of each slide in the exact same place. Right now, there's a fast slide with your credit, but it's too fast to really read and it interrupts the flow of things there. The rest of that one is fine though. You have the "Prince Yukio" banner on your list twice. They're almost right next to each other, but there's another banner sandwiched between them. In general, I think your editing was very nice. They were pleasing to look at. I really liked the "Anna" banner with the cupcake. I feel like the splatter in the background over the grey really made the cupcake itself pop. One banner I think could really have been better is the "inspire" one with the waterfall. The editing is quite nice, but it makes the vibrant nature colors dull. The title also blends in with the background a little too much. It's too subtle right there. As a whole, your banners are quite nice. They're high quality and quite usable. I wouldn't be embarrassed to have one displayed on my profile, ect.

As for the buttons, I really like your border styles. Here, the only one I really don't like is number six. And really, it's not that I don't like it, it's that I don't know what kind of image you could use there. It seems to me that the cut through the middle would chop off anything that would catch our attention there. I like the creativity in number four a lot though. Your animations are all classics, so there's nothing wrong there. I do think the drop style should pause a tad longer when it reaches the middle of the button though. My favorite button from your portfolio is probably the one from Sun Raiz. I love the moving pink on the monochromatic background. It really makes for an interesting focal point there. I don't like the one for Complete Compliments. I feel that it's unreadable. The light blue is too close to the white and I can't make out the letters. I feel the same way about the one for Cassidy's Blog. The one for Alphie's Art is nice too. I like the lavender color with the blue and it's easily readable. To sum it up, I love your buttons as long as I can read what they say.

I think you should add links to the sites your buttons are on. You really don't have to, but I think it would be nice to see what kinds of sites are using your quality buttons.

Creativity: I like your buttons, but there's nothing crazy different about them. Your animations are nice, but they're average. A few of your borders are new ideas, but they're not completely new ideas. Let those juices flow and think of something insane! You've definitely got the skill to pull something like that off.

Reliability: I could contact you and you sounded pleasant to work with. Good work!

Sitely: Your sister site is a high quality and so are your affiliates. You're on a great path to popularity, and that's awesome! Your buttons are great too, which is pretty much a requirement for a button request site.

Other: I really don't think I missed anything. I really love your site from the first glance to the last one. Everything about it was great. There was a really welcoming atmosphere there too. I'm really excited to see where you go with this!

5 Likes:
1. I like how you have a preview of your lookup with a legend, but I would recommend sizing it down with some simple coding and tell the visitor to drag it to the top so it doesn't stretch your textbox there. Here's the code I would use as a base. You can edit the sizes and stuff. It's just a suggestion:

5 Disikes:
1. Your layout setup is sort of bothersome. I don't really like how the words run into the background, if you understand what I mean.
2. While I applaud you for creating a custom site, which can be a lot of work, I don't feel like you really understand the coding. I don't understand the random period in front of your image at the top. It should also be possible to change the background color, and it should be quite easy. With CSS it should be what's in the box below. If this doesn't work, then you must have a problem with your coding.

I think you've got a great start, but you also have a long way to go. With some work, it's definitely achievable.

First Impression: Oh. My. Gosh. Time for a majorly dramatic story! What in the world is happening? What's all this about?

Layout: I liked the click-y intro for your application a lot, but once I reached your actual application, I was quite disappointed. I couldn't really see your image behind the textbox. The head was gone! From what I saw, it looked nice, but it was chopped off. I had to zoom out to see it, but by then I couldn't read your application. It was inconvenient. I like that the rest of your layout is simple, but I don't like the jump from the colors of the first page to the colors of the second. It really kills the dramatic mood you had going to begin with. The mood was scary and upsetting in the intro and was happy-pappy in the rest of the application. I really think you should try to find a happy middle there. All the links work like they should. Your overall simple layout is nice. The colors match your character. In the long run, I do like it. I just wish I could see the background.

Organization: Your stuff is in a good order, but I would like it better if his petlookup didn't have its own section on the sidebar, if you know what I mean. Perhaps a link in the honor and pride section would do. It just feels out of place. Otherwise, things seem to flow pretty smoothly.

Welcome: I love your quite images. They really put emphasis on that first quote sans bold/italics. Your notes are pretty helpful, as I am only semi-fluent in Spanish, not German, and I have no idea what a "Schlachtschiffe" is. I liked the German reference idea you've told us about here, but until I keep reading, I won't know if I will actually be interested or not. I'll have to continue reading to find out. I don't think the directions on how to get to the next section at the bottom are really necessary. I think she can figure out how to move around on her own.

Into the Blue: Again, I think we can navigate through your application okay. You could just say, "Click here to skip the story," rather than explaining where we're going. I think it would sound better if you said, "as usual," rather than, "as they normally did," in the second paragraph into the story. I like your link to the German translation. It's quite convenient here. The story is interesting, but I feel like the setting sounds too modern for the time you're putting it in. For a historic-fiction story, I'm not feeling the history. I was forgetting that the time period was different. Somehow you should change your language and wording to fit the setting. I'm just not feelin' it.

Honor and Pride: I think your descriptive language in the description really made your character come to life here. I love the color representation idea, but I don't like how you put "And finally," before yellow. It pushes it to the side and messes up the list-look the first two colors are following.

The Castaways: I really love how all their stories fit together. It all makes sense and the characters fit together.

A Bit About Leni: The shield idea? Brilliant! The fact that we can really see your account ages is nice. We can see that you've been on a loooong time. Playing since you were nine? That's an accomplishment! But, uh, what is a polyglot? I don't really know. Is that German? I have to agree that you do speak English quite well as a second language. Living in Germany is quite interesting to know, especially since I live oh so far away. The map is pretty awesome and shows us where you are without being too personal. I really think you should add a link to this week's BC entry though. The owner would probably really like to see your art for the contest.

Artistic Showcase: Woahh, you make me envy you. -_- Anyway, your art is fabulous. I really think you should add more art of Taru to this page though. Otherwise, it's fabulous!

Foreign Words: Again, these were extremely helpful when I was reading your story.

Thank Yous: You seem like an honest, loving person here. You give your thanks and, overall, it should make the owner a very happy person.

Creativity: The intro was really interesting and very different. I was still disappointed in the difference in the two parts of the application, but it was still definitely interesting. The German-English cross-over was neat and I actually applaud you for using your native tongue without going overboard.

Other: Your layout could be resized a bit with some re-coloring, but it was overall readable. It didn't make me want to leave, but it wasn't overly awesome either. The content was good, but I think you could really use some more convincing material. We see that you want the pet, but maybe you should add some more information about why you should be chosen. Overall though, it was well put.

First Impression: Aww, this site looks nice. And oh, I must be welcome here. The first thing I notice is the pretty face in the front and I'm not ready to leave quite yet. It's not at all bland and it doesn't make me want to run and hide.

Layout: I've got quite a few things here I would like to see changed. While I absolutely love your top banner and the matching border at the bottom, I don't really like how the colors of the rest of the page go together. I feel like the background is much too light for the main image and text, and it just isn't tied together well. That light color doesn't match the image. I do like the pattern on that though. Perhaps you could edit the background to the peachy color behind your site name if you want to keep it light-ish. I really think that would pull it all together and enhance the focal point of the page, really, and another color from your image might do; it just needs to look like it's in place. I think the navigation should be lightened, also. It's overpowering. That color would look really nice as your border on the main section though. It's rich and brings out the background of your logo/image. As for your text box, It may just be Firefox, but your scrollbar is partially covered by the border and it doesn't really look nice. That should really be moved, in my opinion. The only other thing I don't like is the huge headers. I think they should be toned down. Especially on the front page where it almost overpowers your site name. I do think your anchored layout is perfect for your site though. All the links work and it's a very neat and organized layout. Other than the colors, I really don't have any complaints!

Organization: I really think everything flows together nicely. I think you have the perfect amount of sections here. One of my only suggestions is that it would look more organized if your updates on the first page were in a box within the main box. Right now it just takes up a lot of that section and looks a bit sloppy. All in all, you're very organized. I don't have to leave because I can't find what I'm looking for because, well, it's all right where it should be.

Grammar: In the second section of your whole page where you say, "Site created on 5/5/11," I think you should either make it a new line and put it in bold/italics, or rephrase it as a complete sentence so it doesn't interrupt the flow. Under your latest update, "I may remove a few I feel aren't very later," should have an adjective after the word very. Everything else was perfect!

Content: Oh yes. The most important part of the site and, well, I think you nailed it. Your borders are interesting. You have the basics while also including some that really make your site stand out. I love the exclamation points. The only one I don't really like is number 10. The little dot border doesn't seem to go exactly around the edges of the main part of the button. It's mainly the corners that bother me. It's not really messy, but I don't think it looks neat. Just by going through your portfolio, I am more than impressed. Not only are they high quality, but many are different and creative too. I love the one you made for Sun Raiz. It really looked like the text was a rising/setting sun over a pasture. Amazing work there! The only one I didn't really like was the one for Spring Breeze. The "Breeze" part was too light and difficult to read. I feel the same way about the text on the one that says Vote for me at Intricate. The button for Altador Clicks is nice, but the button stays on the snow yooyu much longer than it is on the fire one. Your animations are nice and not too insane. Interesting but not obnoxious. Would I request a button from you? Absolutely. If someone saw your button, they would most definitely click it. A button is always a first impression for a site and you're really helping people gain that impression.

Creativity: You're site is a lot like many other button sites in many ways, but I found a few things that really stuck out. Your unique borders are interesting and are sure to draw people to your particular site. If you had some more creative approaches to the buttons, such as the Sun Raiz one mentioned before, then I think your site would really stand out from the crowd. I mean, who wouldn't be impressed by things like that? It's so different. A site with a button like that would be glad to have something so unique.

Reliability: Do I feel at home on your page? Yes! In your rules, you sound sweet and easy to talk to. You enforce your rules without sounding bossy and rude. I feel like I could mail you and receive a warming reply. You re-make buttons, which really shows that you've got a reliable site. You've made 36 buttons and you have quite a few affiliates. I could really trust your site.

Sitely: Appealing buttons? Check! Affiliates? Check! Listed? Check! It seems to me like you're on your way to becoming well known. There are plenty of sites someone could stumble upon and click your button. Since they're appealing and overall just snazzy, there's a good chance they'll come find you. And, because you've got custom buttons, it's important that your own buttons look nice. And, of course, they do.

Other: One more thing I'd like to point out; I really like the setup of your buttons page. The numbers in the buttons, the 3x5 layout. It's just so nice. I'm also really excited to see what new borders you can come up with. You've got talent and you seem to enjoy what you're doing. Overall, you've definitely got a fabulous site. Quite impressive. I would most definitely come back.

5 Likes:
1. The way you edited the skeleton layout is wonderful. The colors are nice and the banner seems polished and professional.
2. Your fonts are a very nice quality. I've seen an overload of terrible font sites and you are not one of them!
3. Your fonts are all very creative. I never wold have thought of the harris one!
4. Your skeleton fonts were interesting. The BC one was simple yet, again, creative.
5. Your link back and affies are great. You've got a lot of them and you're on the path to stardom!

5 Dislikes:
1. At first glance, I had no idea what kind of site you had. I know you have the "fonts" link at the top, but I was still confused. Perhaps make it a slight bit clearer.
2. You stated that the base coding was yours twice in the rules. I would just emphasize the first time rather than repeating yourself.
3. I didn't like how often you used the bright cyan blue in your fonts. It's a hard-to-read color.
4. Your AC fonts are really boring. They're very.. bland.
5. On the Illusen font, I don't like how the "This is how your post will look on the neoboards" font is hard to read. When people post with that, it really irks me.

Overall, you've got great fonts and you've got a great quality site!

First Impression: You're an artist! You've got a lot of time on your hands to dedicate to Castray and you probably won't bail. You've got my attention!

Layout: I love the layout. Really, I do. The picture at the top is a great attention grabber and I always love a page with a dark background. I would suggest relating the color of your background to the first image. I was thinking maybe the color of the sky in the picture frame or something? Right now, it's just a random blue. While it's a nice blue, it has no relation to the main image. I really like your headers. They're quite artistic for some simple CSS headers. Again, the colors on everything seem to work well.

Navigation: I really like your sentence here: "And all you want is something you can move to". It sort of ties into the navigation and moving, but also to that island theme you have going. As you asked in your neomail, I think I've got an idea for your menu. Before I give you an idea of how to cut it down, I just want to tell you that I really think a navigation that stretches across the bottom of the page would work well with your layout. You know, like a bar at the bottom with the links? I think a navigation that follows you as you scroll would work nicely here. Anyway, to cut it down I'd say remove a few sections, but I honestly have no idea which to remove. They all seem quite important. I'd would give advice, but I really don't know what I would do here.

Sweet Summertime: Okay, another opener I liked? Yes! "Greetings loved ones. Let's take a journey. . ." Perfect! The song it comes from is beach-y too. I don't like how the italics are larger than the rest of the text. They're bothersome. Usually I'd be okay with it, but I don't like how the dialogue is bigger than the rest. I would tone that down a notch. The image here was a nice way to breakup the text and it somehow went with the colors of the page still. Wonderful! Your story/intro has a nice start, but I feel like it's lengthy for its purpose. I know we're going to a beach, etc, but it seems like you take too many words to explain such a simple idea. Yeah, we pack the stuff up, go to the beach, lay there, then eat. It was a little bland. You should make something a little more exciting happen there! I did like the teenager-eye roll thing though. Classic!

The Popsicle Parlor: I like the imagery you use describing the popsicle shop. I can really picture the place on a boardwalk. Your logo is awesome too. The entire personality really starts to unfold here and I think this line: "Hey, don't worry about it!" portrays Castray as a kind guy who puts others before himself. I also like the details you give to colors and such in the appearance section. Palm tree green is so much more interesting than plain old green. With the likes/dislikes, I feel like your character is too perfect. He likes the stuff most people like and dislikes what many dislike. It's very bland and unexciting. A flawless character is no fun. I would suggest changing it up. Maybe he actually likes asparagus? Perhaps he's happiest in the morning? Does he think sand feels gross between his toes? Even if it's a minor thing, I feel it would enhance his character.

The Menu: I liked your descriptions on the specials, but the rest of it seemed unnecessary. If the menu were real that would be extremely long. You might want to cut some of the ice pops and such out. They're not really all that important to your story and your audience isn't going to sit and read a list of every chia pop in Neopia. If you're feeling ambitious, you could try to make an actual menu on an image program or something. It would be extremely creative and I'm sure it would look fitting with the story. It's just an idea though.

Haggerty's and Swami's: I love where the story is going. The whole shop idea is great! When Cast says this: "We're actually twins, in case you couldn't see how she resembles my wonderful good looks. . . " I feel like it kills the potential for the mood. I mean, he's talking about his dead family and cracking jokes at the same time? I just don't think so. Maybe you feel like that's part of his personality, but I feel like it's out of place. Although, "I always try and look on the bright side," again, fits the character nicely. You're building up his nice image.

About Me: Welcome to my application for your Krawk, Castray!" By this point, we've been here awhile. I'd just go ahead and cut that out. Also, I like the five facts. They're interesting, allow us to learn about you, and keep the pace up by being short, sweet and to the point.

How I Do Applications: I like how you explain why you do what you do. At the same time, I feel this section is lengthy also. The reader has already seen a lot of your application and some of what you said is just saying what you've done. I don't think that's necessary.

My Accounts: I would change, "(Each link goes to my pet's lookup)." to "(Each name below my account names are links to my pets.)" or something along those lines. Because really, not all of the links go to pets. (Yes, I really did check xD)

Meet the Family: Everything here is nice. Good examples. I still really dislike the extra large italics.

Plans: I like how you're entering your image from the layout in the BC (because it's fabulous!), but I think you should say you'll definitely do more than that. You only talk about his first entry. I think you should go beyond and say more. If I was adopting my pet out, I would definitely want it to have one of your pet's petpages. I mean really, I'm glad you linked to them here. The customization you have fits perfectly. Just under the picture, I think the word, "sperge" should be, "splurge".

More About Ray: Great way to show personality without boring me. Great work!

Gallery: While I love your art and such, I don't like some of your photos in the second set. I don't mean to be rude, so please don't take it that way, but I don't really thing the picture of the half of the woman in a bathing suit underwater should really be there. It's not a bad photo, it just doesn't fit and there is zero reason why it should be there. At least the first section is sort of inspiring, you know? It also fits with the story as the pictures in the store. But do you understand where I'm coming from here? your art is fabulous though. I'm seriously jealous.

That's What's Up: You're very reassuring with the adoption history and I have to admit that I absolutely love that.

Why Castray: You scared me for a moment when talking about the other krawks you applied for and failed. I mean, if no one else wanted to pick you, what will make the owner think you're the best now? I have to say you sort of saved yourself when saying Castray's name caught you. I mean, that's one of the main unique things about this particular krawk.

Odds and Ends: I liked the little facts. Great!

Overall: I'm seriously waiting for you to kill me over the length of this. You really had a lot there and I felt like it all needed to be covered though. Your application is probably the best executed one I've seen in a long time. May I remind you that I have an application guide and this review guide to go on? I've been reviewing forever and I have to sincerely say you have a excessive foot above the rest of the applicants to the point that it seems unfair. I would hate to be going against you. Anyway, it was extremely long, but it was well put. The character was creative and other than what I pointed out, your app was wonderful. Way to go!

First Impression: I see that you've got an application for a plushie. Upon further looking, I see it's for a plushie gnorbu. I don't feel that the colors fit together, but for a premade it will do.

Organization: Yup. I think everything is in an acceptable order. Nothing needs to be moved as far as I can tell.

Plans: Where you say, "...here are couple options (neopoints are not an option)" I don't get it. how can you get these petpets if neopoints aren't an option? I think you meant something along the lines of points aren't a problem? I would definitely change that. I like your reasoning for all the petpet choices. I also like how your pets have each had their petpets awhile. Later I like your customization ideas.

Character: Okay, the character was really unnecessary. I only say this because you really just states the obvious things. It's not at all exciting and it's something anyone could just type up and throw on a petpage.

About Me: Okay, this was total overkill. It's much too long. I would cut down the lists and drop some of the information on your real life. Everyone loves talking about themselves, (me included!) but it starts to sound like you love yourself a little too much, you know? I would like to your side accounts in the next paragraph, also. As for some of the stuff in that section about what you've done, I would recommend taking all that and making a new box of accomplishments out of it. I don't know, but it's much too long. Cut some out.

Conclusion: I honestly did not understand this at all. Really, you should just end it all where it was. I don't like your ending. Just say why you want Etis and conclude!

First Impression: The colors are relaxing. The image at the top isn't over powering, but it really catches my interest. At first glance, it seems that you are applying for a royal pet.

Layout: Woah. You coded that yourself? The color scheme is, as I said, relaxing. You picked the perfect colors from your main image to use and it's all balanced. All your links work as expected. Wonderful!

Organization: Everything definitely flows. Usually I suggest that the "About Me" section comes later in the application, but they way you have it there I can't see it going anywhere else.

Home Page: On the first part of your homepage, I feel like you've got some nice imagery going on there. I also like how you introduce your character here. No problems with that! I think your first page proves promising. I don't think you should keep the image at the bottom there though. I like your creativity in how you showed the owner that you don't have your tablet, but it seems very out of place. I would recommend finding somewhere else for that, if possible.

About Me: I love your first paragraph. I have no idea why, I just do. I found nothing wrong with this section. You explained yourself without over-doing it and seeming self-centered.

Why Zethaus: In your first paragraph, you state you've only been back a few months. Honestly, an owner probably it much if you leave it at that. I think it would really be best if you explained that you're back for good, you really enjoy the site again, and that you've been doing a lot since you've been back. In the second paragraph, as a reader, I really feel like saying you drew the pet immediately after seeing them seems... like a stretch. Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel like anyone would actually do this. Maybe you really did? I figure I'll just point that out and let you decide what to do with it. When you talk about why you want Zeth in the last section, you should say something about why you want him in particular and not any other relic shoyru. Perhaps you like his name? Again, it's just another suggestion.

Family: Honestly, I love this. You thoroughly explained your characters and gave us nice backgrounds. The hand-drawn images for each were a nice touch. Simple yet intriguing!

Story: I;m pretty sure this: "...grateful for everything that they had, and took nothing for granted." shouldn't have a comma before "and". I don't think there's a pause in breath there. In this part of the sentence: "..you look kind of like me son," I feel like the "me" in there rather than "my" messes up the tone of that character. Before reading that sentence, the woman does not sound like a character that would say that. It's out of place. Perhaps you should adjust her language before this line to make it seem more in place. Otherwise, just make that a "my". Other than that, your language was nice. I was interested even though it's a bit lengthier than what I can usually sit through.

Plans: I like how you gave a link to 0reah's lookup. You're so good at coding! It's neat and something I would definitely look forward to my pet having if I adopted him out to you. I don't like how you say here that you like to draw the hair then don't give an example. The owner would really like to see that right there rather than waiting for the next section. Putting something small there would be good.

Design: In the first paragraph, you say, "schitzophenic". I think that was supposed to be, "schizophrenic"? I looked it up and schitzophenic isn't a word. (I thought that maybe I just didn't know what it meant.) I'm going to assume you're talking about the disorder. The two sided thing is wonderful and fascinating. Your sketch is a good addition here too. You seem to have a lot of talent.

Thanks: This section is well put. You say your thanks without going overboard. You sound genuine.

Overall: Overall, I think your application is wonderful. I'm envious of your talent in what seems to be everything! Just a few things here and there I'd change around, but overall it was wonderful.

First Impression: Immediately, I like the rustic, homely feeling. Since you state English isn't your first language, I'll be sure to go over what I can later to help you out. I didn't immediately see who your application was for, but after a moment I skimmed the name Regine. So I'll take that as the pet's name until I'm further in and find otherwise. I'm also guessing this is for a Usuki boy? I like how your colors match the pet. Very nice. My first impression is good. I /do/ with you would un-italicize the navigation though. It's unappealing, but that's just me.

Plans:What would I do with Jeim if I am chosen to be adopted?" should be "What would I do with Jeim if I am chosen to adopt him?". That just sounds much better. "Neologde" should be "Neolodge". in that same paragraph. I like how you were honest about what you weren't going to do, but I believe you should add something about what you will do there. You should really be trying to convince the current owner why you are their best choice.

Customization:...what will be Jeim's actual customisation here," sounds better as "..Jeim's actual future customization here." Again, this is an opinion, but I think it's definitely an improvement. I love your customization ideas and your previews. Very nice and very promising. He's handsome!

Description: Okay, I like how you added the detailed colors. "Icy blue" is much better than "light blue," for the eyes, so kudos to you! (I also figured out who Regina is here!) The art really makes it look like he is different from the rest of the Usuki boys out there. Your image/art is high quality and pleasing to the eye. I like that!

Personality: Take out the word "out" in this sentence; "...he has been trying to find out the answers..." Your list is very short and to me it doesn't seem interesting. You didn't really put much excitement here. I think it should have a lot more detail. Perhaps you could explain why he likes/doesn't like these things? I do actually like the adoptable you have there though.

Story: Take out the word "but" in this sentence: ".. odd, but it's true." I like how you state that your pets are never finished. It's always good to know you'll keep working with the pet even when it's actually yours. I do like your cliffhanger there, but a little more detail would e very nice. The story definitely looks promising. I do not think you should keep working on it after you turn it in if that's what you mean at the end. Otherwise, you're story isn't long and boring.

His Companion: There is nothing here I don't like. It's strong. I think the story works well with the whole thing. I also love your art. The sketches are very nice. I do think you should make the picture at the top of a white petpet rather than the usual one since you plan on painting.

Poem and Art: Your poem was short and sweet. Very nice! Again, I /love/ your art. Fabulous! The little captions were a very nice touch.

Family: The family section really shows the owner what you've done with your current pets and I think you're really living up to what you've said before, especially about winning gold in the BC with Qersec. I do think you should change that blue color to something else. It's hard to read.

About Me: I think you should make the side account titles into links, if you know what I mean. The reader should be able to see your accounts for themselves.

Jeim will never feel unloved or abandoned again. Ever." If you're talking about the current owner, I'd get rid of that. It makes them sound mean.

Thank yous: The way you worded your last section really makes you sound like a nice person. Owners want kind people, so i think you executed the job perfectly.

Overall: I can tell you put a lot of time into it. Just work on those little bits and I think you'll be good to go!

First Impression: I'm sorry, but not so good. Once I was on your application, I was expecting an image to load behind the text... and one never did. The bright blue in the background is overpowering and blinding. If you lighten the color a bit, I'm sure it would look much more pleasing. The box itself isn't so bad though. Just please. Tone down the blue. My only other problem with it is the fact that right when I look at it all I see is words. You should add an image at the top to grab the owner's attention.

Layout: The rest of the layout is actually quite nice. The navigation is right at the top and there are nice, bold headers at the start of each section that I like.

Organization: Your links work and everything is in a nice order. Nice!

Introduction: While I see your intro is only one sentence, I think you should make the best of that line. Add an attention grabber there!

Plans: In this section you state that you have all your other pet's stories/story up. I really think you should link to it so the reader can easily access it and see what you've done. I also like the links to her future petlookup and such. I do think you should tone the color down on that too though. I love the gallery you've got going there, also. It's wonderful to see that you've put stuff together.

Neopets History: I really think you should remind the owner that you don't plan on sharing accounts again. Ever. Reassure them! I'm also glad you added the links to your sides.

Character Design: The design is quite creative. It's got a mix of elements which is refreshing to see. I'm glad to see something that fits Ctet without being matchy-matchy and cliche.

Art: Your picture is quite pretty, but I think you should put it toward the top. Nice use of color and such there!

Grammar: I really didn't see any mistakes with the grammar. Great job there!

Other: Your overall idea was good. Short and sweet. If I understand correctly, that was the choice of the owner? Anyway, aside from the obnoxious colors, your application was nice. Good luck!

First Impression: Wow. Just... wow. You really hit it home here. The colors are soft and match the pet. I already know what pet you're applying for by looking at it. You've definitely got my attention. My only dislike is scrolling to the right when I first get on the page. Maybe it's just FF?

Story: djifjid jdi jidhush iuheoans o hsdo." Now, I understand that she is saying jibberish, but I think you should make it pronounceable. I wouldn't really know how to say "djifjid". Perhaps try some lorem ipsum? It's just an idea, but I think it would make it more realistic. The story is well put. You're detailed and you really help the reader picture the story of how this pet came to be. I would recommend putting a comma between "receive" and "ya know" right here: "not even receive ya know?" There should be a pause in breath at that point. I also like how you gave a short summary of your ideas for the rest of the story there. Good!

Likes & Dislikes: I like how you colored the faces on each. Interesting. I do think the likes and dislikes are bland though. Perhaps you could add some pizazz? I really think they need to be more descriptive.

Other: Very nice start. I believe you said you weren't finished? I like the story and the layout a lot. You've really got a great beginning there!

First Impression: I think you've picked a wonderful premade for your cause. I do think you should change the white text in the "share" section on the side back to black/brown though.

Organization: The sections look to me like they flow nicely. I can follow along without getting lost!

Why: I would recommend changing the dashes to commas here: "When I found Share-my last dream pet- I knew I just had to apply." I like how you say you gave up on your dream until you saw Share. It makes it sound like you really want her/him and only them.

My Plans: I like how you have a link to your work. It proves that you do just as you say and owners like that. They also like to hear that you RP. People really like when they know their new owners will actually be having fun with their pet.

Character Ideas: You were quite creative here. You added in the regular elements such as name/color, but you also threw in some other stuff as well.

About Me: I really love that you showed that you share like Share, but I think you should add a little more. I'm not saying make it overly long, but show the owner that you do stuff off Neopets too.

Family: Everything here is okay. Nothing is really spectacular, but I do like how you were able to show what you do with them. Also, I'd like to tell you there's a nice use of the adoptables there. They make it more interesting without using your own art. If you're like me, then that wouldn't be much of an option anyway.

Creativity: I honestly don't think you went above and beyond here. Everything you have is, well, everywhere. It's in most applications. Perhaps you should find something that's special to you and add it in there, whatever that may be.

Overall: I think you could definitely add some stuff to this, but don't be discouraged. I really think your page has a great start and great potential.

First Impression: It seems messy to me. The colors aren't blinding, but the brown on the white is... unappealing. I have no idea who/what you're applying for at the first glace.

Layout: Again, I just don't like the color scheme. I think I would like it more if the background was a light brown or something. I think the headers should be tweaked also. They're sort of plain. I'm not saying plain is bad, just in your case it seems bland. You should also add a picture of the pet to the top to draw in attention. Either the actual image or a drawing.

Organization: Things are in a nice order, but I have one problem. I really, really don't think the about me should be before the about the pet section. Maybe you should switch them?

About Me: I like how you say you like doing thins yourself. Even if your layout isn't perfect, I like how you are still trying to be independent, but hopefully the owner will understand that. The spongebob ref was interesting, but I think the colors of it really just messes with the colors of the layout itself. It looks very out of place there. I think the self portrait with the fluffy star is neat. It's so random but creative!

Why: I love the reference to your real life here. It makes you seem more real. Like less of another robotic Neopian that has no life. I also like how you state the potential for characters and stay away from some sort of "normal" dog or something.

Plans: I like that you said you're teaching yourself and trying to code, but you should relate this back to the pet. Say you want to learn to code to make them a petpage/petlookup and such. Tell them you will learn because you have determination and you really want it. And this line: "Eurgh… I don't think any of us really wanted that =/" Yeah, you actually made me laugh. I wasn't rolling or anything, but it was pretty funny xD I love your customization ideas and the stories with them. Honestly, that one of the greatest things I've seen in an app so far. You said there are many character possibilities, and you really hit it home there. The second was my favorite, in case you were wondering ;)

Companions: Again, I like the creativity. Multiple petpets for each occasion? Yes! I actually really like the idea of it.

Wrap Up: I hope you find the perfect owner for Ellinear, because she deserves it. Thank you very much for your consideration." You get the nod of approval on that. You sound considerate and that something we like to hear.