a moment to reflect

A long, long time ago being a Memory Keeper was something that garnered respect and the awe of everyone who was lucky enough to come into contact with the lucky few who possessed such capabilities as myself. Not everyone is capable of handling not only their thoughts, feelings, and desires but also those entrusted to them. Memory Keepers were much sought after by kingdoms and the wealthy and all secrets of great importance were held by us. But in today's world the importance of the Memory Keeper's have been forgotten and we've become outcasts and social pariahs, only sought after when a terrible memory or thought is wished to be removed from the minds of those who can pay our price.

One doesn't become a Memory Keeper. It's not something that can be trained or an ability one can purchase for themselves. It's an innate ability that sets us apart from everyone else. We are unique because we are few in number. We are special because we hold a great power. We are able to reach deep into the minds of those who ask us and take out thoughts, emotions, and memories. These memories then become our own, while the person who approached us have no recollection of what they asked us to remove. If they no longer want to feel heartbreak, they can ask us to remove it. Their feelings become ours, their pain becomes ours, and they leave feeling nothing but happiness and a bank account with a much smaller amount.

I became a Memory Keeper at birth, but did not realize my power until my tenth year of life. At that time the allure of Memory Keepers were fading and we were beginning to be called outcasts and odd ones. It was a tough time to realize you were one of the unwanted ones. I had no one to trust and no allies. So I left the town I was living in at the young age I was and began my own life in secret. I dropped the name I was given as a child and forged my own name, the only name I've been called ever since I've been alone.

While I remember my old name and all of the people I once knew, that part of me is dead and gone. Now I am Arstala, the Memory Keeper of Neovia.

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memoirs of one who cannot forget

I really cannot say what compelled me to write in this journal. The idea popped into my head so forcefully one rainy afternoon that before I knew it, I'd grabbed this shabby notebook and began writing. Words and phrases, some of which were my own, others that were given to me just spilled out of my mind and onto the paper. It was an amazing feeling to write and unleash a creative outlet I'd never thought of before. I began to treasure the time I spent writing, and even now I still enjoy it. It's a satisfying feeling to see the things in your mind materialize on paper.

For me there is no clear cut beginning, middle, or end. My memories predate my existence and when I'm gone my memories will disappear with me. There's the life I've lived, and then there are pieces of lives that are not my own intertwined with the very core of my own life. The memories and secrets are my own now, and while I'm in control of myself for the most part, I occasionally act out on the urges once held by the people who gave them to me.

I doubt anyone who reads this particularly cares to know all of the trivial details of my life. I'm practically a hermit and days will go buy before I'm visited by strangers requesting my services. My food is delivered to me by the Crumpetmonger, who is paid handsomely for her services and deliveries. My life in and of itself is a boring pastime filled with nothing.

But it's the memories and the workings of my mind that prevent me from saying my life is useless.

I guess this journal will one day serve as a memoir, should anyone care to read it. Hopefully one day some young Neopian will stumble on it and learn of the secrets I carry and the burden I bear. I can't forget the things in my existence, but without my words on paper I'm sure that many things about me will be forgotten once I'm gone.

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a tiny glimpse

Very few people are brave enough to try to make conversation with me. I'm sure if they did they'd be surprised to know that I like a good conversation as well as the next Neopian. I'm definitely quiet and mysterious, but only because legend suggests I shouldn't be messed with. I've learned most legends are created out of fear or awe. The legend of the Memory Keepers are surrounded in both.

When someone does work up the courage to ask me something other than how much they owe to remove their painful memories or thoughts, it's usually about other secrets I carry. Naturally I always tell them they'd rather not know, but since this is my journal and it's relatively safe with me, I'll share a tiny glimpse of the memories contained within my brain that now belong to me, but once belonged to someone else.

The tiny baby aisha raced from the kitchen to the living room at lightning speed. She was my new sister and I adored her! Many people didn't think a "mean old Darigan tonu" could love, but I did. She was as cute as she was smart, and we got along amazingly well! She stayed with us for months and months before all of a sudden I woke up and she was gone. I cried to my mother, asking where she was and with three words my heart felt like it would burst with sadness and the tears would never stop. My baby sister...in the pound?

I never meant to take the necklace from the house, but in that moment I saw how beautiful it was and knew I had to have it. As we walked out I snatched it and quickly put it in the pocket of my sister's Usuki dress. We said our goodbyes and left, and once we were back home I retrieved the necklace. I know it's wrong but I had to have it...they'll never even miss it, right?

I hated her so much! What business did she have joining our family like that? Stupid pteri...we were perfect without you, why don't you go away?

These memories were not mine, but now they are and I must deal with them. You've seen a tiny glimpse of the thousands of errant thoughts that I face daily. The heartbreak, the urge to be sneaky, and the feeling of anger all consume me and I can honestly say that I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

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alone

I think I'm quite done with my memoir. This is only a handful of the many pages I have written, but enough is enough for now. You've come too far and I don't want to trouble you with my burden anymore.

If you're in need of my services, you can find me on the edge of Neovia, in a small shack on top of a hill. I'm always alone, so you should never fear about interrupting. If anything you'll keep me from the thoughts in my mind, even if it's just to add more.

I doubt you'll listen to me now, but I will offer you a word of advice before you go on your way. Never give up your memories. Cherish them, keep them. They may not always be good, and the thoughts in your mind may be terrible at times, but you'll be a better Neopian for keeping true to yourself. Memories are precious, hold them close.

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