Prof.: This journal i found lying in some scrap paper bin is supposed to be this great thing, intended to revolutionise Neopian history. You wasted your time coming here go home..

Adam (holding raygun): Oh no you don't...we need to keep our users from overthrowing us because of the layout!!

Prof: Did i just say that???! o_0 Anyway this great journal, written by the infamous Mad Tongue Murphy, has been written in gibberish so there is nothing to see...

Adam: I've got a raygun here and i'm not afraid to use it old tonu...

Prof: ...Until now when in Tyrannia (they will pwn your Kass in the Altador Cup)...

Adam: (headesk) Get on with it!!

Prof: There was an amazingacheological discovery as made by...

Lillian: PICK ME!!! ME ME ME!!!!!

Prof: Him! (points at random bruce)

Lillian: Not fair. It was me. (sulks)

Random Bruce: Yeah it was her.

Lillian: OMG YEAH! I pwn. B)

Prof: Moving along. A tablet written in tyrannian and the same gibberish that the journal is written in. Werther bring in the tablet (flourish) Werther?

Werther (chews stick): Hey Adam this chocolate stick is tastless and wooden. I want my money back!

Adam: THAT IS A STINKING POINTER STICK!!! Just get up there and do your bit!!

Werther (choke): Sorry. (brings in tablet and points)

Prof: This allows us to translate the journal and it tells us about an island. I want to go there and prove this. Who wants to go?

Lillian and Werther: PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!!! (spazz)

Prof: Ok you two. Anybody else?

Crowd: Umm...We think we all left my oven on. (run out)

Prof: (sarcastic) What a shame. Looks like we are not going anywhere and i can get home and watch Neovision.

Orange Lutari: Sorry prof but i wanna go!

Prof: Dam. Well ok we have enough. What is your name orange lutari..Hang on lutaris can't be orange!

Roxton: I'm Roxton Granchester (Adam glares) I mean Colchester. And i'm orange because i have been adventuring so much.

Prof: Ok you are hired.

Roxton: Great. Where are we going?

Cut to the harbour

Prof: Can anybody take us to this island that we don't know even exists and only a madman will follow?

Shoyru: Well there is somebody...

Cut to inn

Prof (to orgin): S'cuse are you the comepletly mad and slightly evil Captian Rourke?

Rourke: Yeah why?

Prof: Well i have this journal written by Mad Tounge Murphy and we need to go to the island described...

Rourke: Well...

Lillian (squeals): OMG OMG OMG THERE IS LINAE!!! AND BRUNO AND OMG!!!! JAQUES HIMSELF!!!!! (squee and runs over to Linae, Bruno and Jaques) Zomg can i have your autographs!!!!

Bruno,Linae and Jaques: Mad fangirl alert!!! (run away)

Roxton: Bummer eh?

Lilian: Yeah (sob)

Rourke: Are they with you?

Prof: Unfortunatly yeah.

Rourke: Then forget it! I'm not going anywhere near that sly fox-

Roxton: I'm a lutari!!! A tanned yellow lutari!!

Rourke: Whatever. And that some mad fangirl that will chase me when this plot is complete and i'm famous.

Prof: (Slams NP bag) Collat from my stolen FQD.

Roxton,Lillian and Werther: FQD?!

Prof: Well...yeah...i wanted the avatar thats all.(shifty eyes)

Rourke: (tries not to laugh) Ok...i...will take you on my ship, the SS Primella. Meet me tomorrow next to it. Dock 8 you can't miss it since it has pink flowers....i mean a Neovian flag on it. be there at sunrise or we shall leave without you.

Prof,Werther and Lillian: You got it!

Werther: Where is Roxton?

Roxton:(drunkenly) I'm ath se (hic) bar.

Rourke: Why did i agree to this?

Adam: Because i have a big ray gun which is loaded!

Cut to Dock 8

Rourke: I didn't expect you all to show up.

Lillian: We almost didn't. Roxton has the mother,father and grandparents of all hangovers and I found my dad [the prof] packing his favourite usukis and-

Werther: You have a curler in your hair and i found red hair dye in the sink.

Lillian: Don't be silly Werther my hair is naturally curly and red.(whispers to Werther) If you tell anybody what you found i will hunt you down with my killer huggy.

Werther: Meep.

Lillian: Yeah. B)

Roxton: (comes up) Anybody have any aspirin? (looks at Primella) That looks like my random contest entry: A big floating cardboard box.

Rourke: If you say that about my love again you will feel my hard seaman's boot. (to boat) He didn't mean it my love. No he didn't.

Prof: Ahem!

Rourke: Shall we get going. Co-ordinates Prof?

Prof: Errmmm...Over there? (points to the right)

Werther: Sir...

Prof: I mean...Latitude 36 ,Longtitude 89.

Rourke: Okey-doke. I hope you know what you are doing.

Adam: So do i.

Boat: Can we get going already!

Everyone (including the suitcases) Holy kau a talking ship!!

Cut to Sailing on the high seas

Roxton: Lillian?

Lillian: What? I wasn't being sick i was thinking!!

Roxton: Wishing you are back on land?

Lillian: Nah i'm (looks at script)LINE?!

Adam: Just IMPROVISE!!!

Lillian: Just Improvise!

Roxton and Adam: (head desk)

Lillian: Sorry...Yeah i want to go home and watch the talk-show Neoboard Natter.

Roxton: I'm so sorry.

Lillian: It's ok. My nerdy obsession with obscure plants is sure to keep my occupied. What 'bout you Mr. Winchester.

Roxton: Well i...

Voice-in-a-barrel: Roxton fancies Lillian!! Roxton fancies Lillian.

Werther:: Why you little spy! Only i was supossed to know! I am the Prof's butler!!!(runs into barrel)

(Little Gnorbu falls out)

Roxton: Why you! Nobody was supposed to know until the later chapters!

Gnorbu-from-a-barrel: Sorry bo...

Roxton: Don't call me that and go before the insane ogri-

Rourke: OMG A STOWAWAY!!! EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T GNORBU SHEARING DAY I WILL SHEAR YOU!

Roxton: Easy captain we wouldn't want to damage those green pompoms that are your ears.

Rourke: Shut up, you fox!

Roxton: (sniff)I'm a lutari ,A LUTARI!!

Rourke: Now to deal with the stowaway.

Gnorbu: I'm Scrap-

Lillian: (whispers) I'm sure you are.

Scrap: and i couldn't afford to pay for a trip but i had to get away on account of some problems on the mainland.

Roxton: He is a kleptomaniac.

Rourke: WHAT??? A THIEF?? THATS IT HE IS-

Scrap: But i promise not to steal anything from any neopet on this noble,ship and i will solve really, really hard puzzles that cruel TNT decided to set us.

Rourke: Alright boy. Get to work and clean the deck!

Scrap: Deckswabber!!!

Deckswabber blumaroo: Hi mum!!!

Adam: Get off the set!

Later at TNT headquarters

Adam (to Snarkie): Right here is the money i owe you.Go buy a pizza with some poisonous mushrooms on it. (reaches into pocket) Oh my gawd....i mean oh my wallet. SCRAP!!! YOU PROMISED!

Scrap: Well i said i wouldn't steal from any Neopet hehe.

Cut to Sailing on the stormy seas

Roxton: (sings) Row,row,row your boat gently down the stream. Push the n00bs over the top and watch them scream!

Rourke: Stop your infernal singing and help me!

Roxton: Are we about to sink?

Rourke:No.

Roxton: Then why should i help you?

Rourke: (headwheel) (BIG CRASH)

Roxton: Easy don't hit your head THAT hard.

Random crewperson: LAND HO!HO!HO!

Rourke: Easy it ain't xmas!

Roxton:O.O big rocks....

Roruke:ROCKS????!!!!

Roxton: And a big wave...@.@

Rourke: You go. I will stay and protect my love:the ship.

Adam: (points raygun at Rourke) GO!

Cut to rocky beach with evryone dazed on it

Scrap:Whew i still have my precious cap!!

Roxton: I'm glad you are alive sidekick i will need you to make me look good for the rest of the plot.

Prof: ZOMG!!!ZOMG!!! (hyper spazz) WE FOUND THE ISLAND!!!! IN YOUR FACE CROWD!

Crowd: You hurt our feelings.:(

Adam: Get off the set!

Scrap: $_$ Shiny?

Prof: No $ but lots of plants.

Lillian: (plant spazz)

Scrap: Oh. :(

Roxton: Anybody seen Rourke?

(hospital) Doctor: I have bad news sir

Rourke: Tell me she will be alright doctor please!!

Doctor: She is in serious and critical condition and probably will never move again

Rourke: NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! MY PRECIOUS BOAT!!

Everyone (at Rourke):0_o

Rourke: Help me fix her!!

Prof (to Lillian, Roxton and Werther): I can't be bothered so we will have to think of an excuse (to Rourke) We have to go explore this magnificent island.

Rourke: She is dying as we speak and you are just going to waltz off and explore this place??!!

Roxton: Yep.

Rourke: Adam will you help me? Pretty Please?

Adam (eats pizza): No i can't i'm (munch munch) busy freezing some poor innocent soul.

Rourke: Fine then i shall go take my anger out on Scrap.

Scrap: Now where did i put that hammer and planks for the ship...

Roxton: Don't worry sidekick if I find anyhting shiny i will give you a percent.

Scrap: How many percent?

Roxton: A percent.

Scrap:(fuming)

Lillian: My i-have-read-too-many-books instinct tells me he will leave without us.

Roxton: Lillian you need to get out more...

Cut to deep forest

Lillian: Time to get nerdy.

Prof: Hold me Werther in case i have a (hyper spazz)

Roxton: I always wanted to play Indiana Jones!

Lillian: Swirly fruit @_@ must have swirly fruit...

Bug: Yo homies! Was'up?

Lillian: Ahhh!! A gangster bug!!

Bug: Now i need to go mug and old lady!(jumps)

Ladyblurg: Why you hooligan! (hits with handbag)

Prof: Amazing! An island inhabited by-

Werther: Gangster bugs (acts cool)

Lillian: Werther! (slaps)

Werther: Pardon me miss.

Prof: This is the best thing that could ever happen!!! (big hyper spazz)

Lillian: Easy dad don't forget your weak heart (whispers) and head.

Roxton: Easy guys we need some weapons (looks at Adam)

Adam: You touch my ray gun and I make you drink Achyfi. 'Cause my ray gun is asparagus powered!!(Gong)

Lillian: Roxton how dare you try and kill these cute little fuzzy wuzzy-

Roxton: Gangster things that tried to kill you.

Lillian: OMG look giant mootixes!

Mootix: Mmm....-

Adam: No drug jokes!

Mootix: I'm trying to make this parody more funny that the drivel Celestial is writing.

Celestial: Why you little....I'M GOING TO FEED YOU TO MY HISSI...when i have gotten the avatar from you.

Mootix: What is an avatar?

Roxton: Kaching! NP_NP (checks TP for mootix)

Lillian: You might have some trouble attaching this to a petpet...

Roxton: Oh. Bummer.

Mootix: Aww here have a comforting lick.(licks Roxton)

Roxton:MY HAT!!

Lillian: Relax the only bad thing in that spit is the smell...

Werther: EW!

Roxton: (looks at bones) Nice jaw...might use it to cut some branch later in the plot.

Adam: Don't be stupid (shifty eyes)

Prof: But these things have no skeleton so what is this?

Lillian: Dunno.

Roxton: Shall we go...there?

Prof,Lillian and Werther: Why?

Roxton:Because i need the bathroom.

Adam: No bathroom break!

Mootix: Don't go (sniff)

Lillian; We will be back! (hugs)

Werther: Stop bonding and lets go. We need to move on.

Prof: Wow!! Now if only there were some folk stories about giant bugs that weren't explainable by Dr. Sloth then we could be famous.

Lillian: There are enough plants here to give all my enemies at school hayfever.

Roxton:(picks flower) Lillian...um...for you.

Lillian: Hey isn't that the plant for the ToW plot?!

Krawley: (whistles innocently) What flower?

Adam: Lazy artists refused to draw a new flower....

Lillian: Also the flower is deadly poisonous but that doesn't matter.

Roxton: Poisonous? (drops flower) Phwew my Indiana jones ego almost died befire it could realise it's full potential.

Lillian: Don't ask me why i know so much about plants. This is a parody and not the word-for-word summary of the comic.

Prof: Look...big tree with lots of little glowing lights on it. Now i shall read some poetry for the journal (picks up book) There was a man from Tashkent who decided to live in a tent-

Wether: Sir?

Prof: Pardon me wrong book.

Roxton: NVM the poetry how do we get in?

Prof: Play Time Tunnel with the lights?

Gorix: Hi mum! Hi Cylara!

Adam: Get off the set and go join the Deckswabber blumaroo in the game grave-i mean in the games room.

Cut to inside the rock with Time Tunnel on it

Werther: Ooh shiny object...(pockets it) Hang on do i have pockets?

Prof: Look at these blueprints...I don't believe it!

Lillian: What is it Dad?

Prof: I just found a ticket to Jub Zambra And The Cobrall Charmers! Now i can get the avatar.

Roxton: But what are these?(points at pieces of paper)

Prof: Oh them. Just some blueprints for making giant petpetpets...OMG!!!This is the best discovery since the Internet!

Roxton: Look baby pteris! Lets make omelette!

Lillian: I want Tigersquash!

Adam: I want Asparagus!

Werther: This is where i start acting suspiciously.

Moach: Somebody say omelettes? I want one!

Everyone: Ahh Run!

Moach: Come back! I make good smores and poached eggs as well!

Cut to running away

Lillian: Get off my leg!

Roxton: Errr...the vine did it. Let me cut it away from you.

Prof: Look i'm a tightrope walker on this log!

Roxton:We need to lose that moach.

Lillian: Just don't lose us.

Roxton: It is impossible for me to get lost.Now which way...left or right.

Lillian: (sigh) Across the log.

Roxton: I knew that (blush)
(crawl across log)

Lillian: Whose idea was it to crawl?

Roxton: The moach won't see us...in theory.

Moach: Please i want to sit by the campfire and have a BBQ. Please (sniff sob)

Lillian: Your theories are worth a pile of Rainbow Dung. Now lets get going!

Moach: Fine if you are going to be like that. (throws tantrum and cuts log in two)

Lillian: I'm Flying!

Roxton: Hold on Lillian i will save you! (to Adam)Can we have some Indiana Jones style music?

Adam: No we can't.

Roxton: But it will make me look good.

Lillian: Ahem! I am Falling here!

Roxton: I will save ye fair damsel.

Lillian: Just get on with it!

Celestial: And in a (not so) heroic dash to save beautiful Lillian-

Lillian: I'm beautiful?

Adam: Be quiet and act like a falling person.

Celestial: Roxton did a Tarzan and...gave off gas.

Adam: Roxton...(evil glare)

Roxton: Sorry.

Celestial: (Headdesk) anyway he swung across the casm on a vine and rescued Lillian from the grasp of the evil Moach.

Moach: I only wanted to make smores.:(

Roxton: Just go without us...oh they have gone.

Cut to running away from Moach (who only wants to sit in front of the campfire and make smores)

Roxton: Adam, Celestial i hope you have a good plan for us to get out of this situation.

Adam: Just surrender to the moach.

Celestial: Umm...listen to Adam?

Lillian: well why no-

Moach: Now we can make smores and I will sing campfire songs!

Roxton and Lillian: Anything but that!!!!

Moach: It will be fun. (puppy eyes) I will even carry you.

Roxton: Any ideas?

Celestial: I apologise but you will have to follow the comic because i'm tight for ideas.

Roxton: Ok. (stabs moach)

Moach: Now you made me angry.

(drops Roxton and Lillian)

Lillian: Now my hat is messy.

Roxton: So is mine.

Moach: Smeagol so friendless.(cry)

Roxton: Oh go jump off a cliff

Moach: Cruel fox wants me to jump off a cliff. Must obey cruel fox.

Roxton: For the 3rd time i'm A LUTARI!! Wait you are going to jump off a cliff?!

Moach: Yes. (jumps off a cliff)

Lillian: Murderer.

Adam: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID ROXTON! YOU KILLED A PEREFECTLY GOOD ACTOR!!

Roxton: Sorry. (meep)

Adam: You will be when i get my hands on you!

Celestial: Will all of you calm down and get on with the parody?

Lillian: Ok. (looks at Journal) Mr. Manchester may i have your magnetic north-pole pointing thingy?

Roxton: Maye you should let me since i'm the hero of this plot and you are the fair damsel in distress who is all-looks-

Lillian: (whipsers)Noob. This way!

Roxton: Forget it you can't tell left from-Oh O_O

(looks at big valley with petpetpets)

Vernax it water: (hums Jaws theme tune)

Lillian: Wait a second...My boots are lined with lead and we are on a cliff so.

(cliff cracks)

Roxton: Not again! Can we have some Indiana Jones music to make me look good?

Adam: We have already had this discussion. NO!

Roxton: Oh well (grabs Lillian) Lets go feed bugs!

Cut to the damaged ship

Rourke:(to boat) My baby, My baby you will never float again!

Scrap: Look the Tonu guy and pwnsome Werther are coming.

Rourke: Yeah cheap labour!

Prof: We decided that this place stinks and we want to go.

Rourke: And it took you all this time to realise that! I have noticed that the stars are moving!

Dr. Sloth: My plans for world domination by moving the planet are working!!!MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Adam: Get off the set Sloth! There is no place for evil geniues here!

Celestial: Yeah it is my job!

Adam: You wish.

Prof: That is the least of out concerns Rourke. There are big...petpetpets on the island.

Scrap: NP_NP.

Werther: I've seen that look before...

Rourke: How big?

Prof: About as big as Meridell castle and as heavy as Adam.

Adam: Ray gun....

Prof: Not you Adam (shifty eyes)

Rourke: April Fool's Day is over man.

Random n00b: Z0MG Z0MG LYK 1 54W TH3M !111111

Adam: I always wanted to do this (fires raygun at n00b)

Everyone: (clap) Go Adam! Go Adam!

Adam: Everyone loves me!!!!

Rourke: As annoying as n00bs are they don't lie. We need to rebuild the boat.

Adam: Now i can torture more users with another fiendish puzzle!!

Rourke: So i can put my feet up while all the users do the work for me.

guest: (grumble grumble)

Celestial: I'm with you guest.

(hours later)

Celestial: Cries of "help" and "i'm lost" went up all over the woods while Adam, Prof, Rourke, Werther and even Scrap relaxed and drank lemonade.

guest: Can i have some?

Rourke, Adam, Scrap, Prof and Werther: NO!

guest: Aww.:(

Prof: I hope those two are fine and haven't got eaten by some wierd things.

Rourke: Ok the slaves-I mean users are finished with the ship now we should make them load the place with shells.

guest: Why?

Rourke: So i can open a shell shop and get rich by selling them to shell collectors.

Celestial: So why did i go into the forest? (wanders round trying to find the ship)

Rourke: With that done lets get off the isle.

Prof: As n00bish as Lillian is i'm not leaving without her.

Rourke: Your problem proffessor. We are going.

Scrap: Now if only i didn't take my kleptomania out on the rudder.

Rourke: MINE!!

Prof: Speak of the pant devil here are Roxton and Lillian!

Werther: (sees giant petpetpets following Roxton and Lillian)O.O

Prof: The film Alien 2: It is multiplying.

Roxton: You had to go through these carnivorous plants.

Lillian: I will feed you to them in a minute if you don't zip your mouth. At least we didn't get wet with my plan unlike some pet's...

Roxton: Hey it worked in theory.

Lillian:Some people just never learn even when they are faced by killer petpetpets.

Roxton: Time for me to really do an Indiana Jones style thing.

Prof: Lillian get on the boat and leave this noob.

Lillian: Good idea dad.

Roxton: (to Rourke) You fixed that floating pile of junk yet?

Rourke: Those bugs may have not killed you but i certainly will.

Roxton: (throws plank at Rourke) Whoops...sorry.
Bye you annoying slavedriver.

Adam: Hey!!

Rourke: He ment me.

Roxton: (throws plank at Rourke)

Scrap: NO! (pushes Rourke out of the way)

Roxton: Traitor.

Rourke: So it took you to save my life for me to realise that you are not so bad.

Prof: Can we go now before Roxton kills us all?

Everyone: Lets go.

Lillian: But i have to keep people thinking i like Roxton and must say this: Can we wait for the lutari?

Rourke: No.

Roxton: If i don't survive the dive tell my relatives that they are noobs. (dives)

Celestial: Now i shall try to kill you with suspence!!

Roxton: Don't bother i'm already on the boat with- WHERE IS MY HAT??!!

Adam: In your hand.

Roxton: Sure...i knew that.

Prof: you know if i had the chance i would like to live on the island even if i did go as mad as Mad Tougne Murphy

Lillian: Oh dad you wouldn't go mad.

Prof: Really.

Lilian:(whispers)You are already mad.

Prof: We need to go back one day but this time bring RAYGUNS!!

Scrap: Nobody will sell us rayguns because they won't believe us. We don't have any proof.

Lillian: I have the @_@ swirly fuit.

Everyone: @_@ Swirly

(Cut to hours later)

Adam: Snap out of it.

Everyone: But it is soooo swirly....

Rourke: Scrap....um....

Scrap: It sounds like you are trying to say something you will regret...

Rourke: I most probably will but...do you want to work on the Primella?

Scrap: Oh yeah hat.

Adam: It's cap! CAP!

Rourke: Please don't call me that my mother used to call me that!

Scrap: You once had a MOTHER?

Celestial: I would love to continue this discussion further but it might result in one of you dying and i want a happy ending.

Adam: Ok this is it. The end. Go home nothing to see.

Prof: With luck we should be back in time for the Altador Cup

Celestial: Sow who is evryone supporting? I'm all for Darigan!

Prof: I'm going for Tyrannia like i said at the beginning of the parody.

Lillian: Mystery Island. So many plants (dreamy look)

Roxton: Faerieland

Everyone: O_o

Roxton: What?

Rourke: (gigglesnort) I'm for Maraqua. So watery...

Scrap: SHENKUU! SHENKUU! There is a gnorbu in the team!

Werther: Kiko lake. I can sympathise with the players.

Prof: Yeah they are all fuzzballs too.

Werther:-_-

Prof: Seriously Werther you would make a good cameo for the yooyus.

hhhraw:I though of that joke!

Adam: Thank you hhhraw.

Celestial: But while we are sailing i'm going to write some outtakes.

Everyone: OUTTAKES??

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