Itsy Bitsy what??

You read correctly. Itsy Bitsy Nooblet Poems xD Ever been on a board where you see a user begging/scamming/lying/being generally annoying? Instead of flaming (which generally tends to get a little TOO heated), why not post a humorous little poem to sum up your feelings? All these short, sweet poems are to the tune of your favorite childhood anthem: the itsy bitsy spider!
I have very few rules regarding this page. I request that 1. If you are a fan of the poems, you link back, and 2. You do not in any way claim these poems as your own. I wrote them all, however silly they might be, therefore I'd like to keep credit ;D

The Poems

One for every situation...

I do not mind at all if you post these on the boards or edit them slightly (like the genders), but please do not claim them as your own. Also, words in parentheses can be interchanged with the word immediately preceeding them. For example, in the second poem, it could read 'decided he would spam' or decided he would scam'



The itsy bitsy nooblet was begging on the boards
Asking for items that they could not afford
Reported was the noob, laughter was hard to retain
Now the itsy bitsy nooblet won't bother us again




The itsy bitsy nooblet decided he would spam (scam)
So we stuffed him in a box, launched it off and BAM!
The box went to iceland where the nooblet will remain
Now the itsy bitsy nooblet can't spam the boards again



The itsy bitsy nooblet thought she knew way more
Than all the TCers(/HC/AC, etc) who had been here long before
The lies that they made up were boggling to the brain
This here itsy bitsy nooblet was clearly not so sane



The itsy bitsy nooblet was really, really rude
They didn't have a paint brush so they got a nasty 'tude
They continued to insult us but their efforts were in vain
Casue the itsy bitsy nooblet had an itsy bitsy brain



The itsy bitsy nooblet ALWAYYS TAWKD LYK DISS
So we told him to stop banging caps lock with his fist
To all of our surprise, he really listened to what we said
Now, the itsy bitsy nooblet t@lk5 lyk3 d1s 1n53@d



The itsy bitsy nooblet thought she was the best
And sent out lots and lots of random friend (guild) requests
When no one did accept them, the nooblet felt no pain
Instead the itsy bitsy nooblet just sent more out again




The itsy bitsy nooblet was begging to be smacked
When he lost his account, he claimed that he was hacked!
When told that he was scammed, the nooblet said, "NO WAY!
Then he remembered clicking an offsite link the other day.



The itsy bitsy nooblet wanted a brand new pb
She said, "Take all your neopoints and donate them to me!"
Donations are against the rules; don't beg" was the reply
Then the itsy bitsy nooblet started to whine and to cry



The itsy bitsy nooblet said, "I HAVE AN OLD ACCOUNT!
HOW AM I A NOOB IF I'VE BEEN 'ROUND AN ABOUT?!?1?"
The truth is "noob" and "newbie" are two really different words:
Newbie is just a new player while a noob is a just turd



The itsy bitsy nooblet had only 50k
They said, "I'll buy your draik egg with these neopoints, okay?"
Since we told him to pay more, the nooblet said we weren't nice
We told him that we would be if he learned to pay full price



The itsy bitsy nooblet was here just to pick fights
She'd use her trolling skills to argue day and night
An insult here, a comment there - but we'll get the last laugh
Cause the nooblet will be punished when she feels TNT's wrath.



The itsy bitsy nooblet was going through some strife,
So he claimed that all on neopets were losers with no life
If that's the case, then I'm a proud loser, and, woohoo!
But it also means our nooblet friend is a proud loser, too.



The itsy bitsy nooblet attempted a bad lie:
{"I promised my dog Johnny a paint brush before he died"}
No one believed the story 'cause its clearly just not true
And if it is, then nooblet's just got lots of savin' up to do



The itsy bitsy nooblet saw a user about to quit
They said, "Can I have PETNAME, since now you don't need it?
And the nooblet asked for neopoints and lots of items too
But the user blocked the nooblet after telling them to shoo.



The itsy bitsy nooblet claimed she had been harassed,
She said she got mean neomails - but wait, now, not so fast,
The "harasser" showed up with some proof and nooblet disappeared
And now the itsy bitsy nooblet doesn't come around here
idea from _xiii_roxas_





The poor helpless newbie went to the help boards
Asked a simple question, and down the n00blets poured
Out came the monitors and scared the n00bs away
Then decent people like ourselves answered him (her) properly
Poem submitted by invertman


The HTML newbie asked for a quick font rate.
She took suggesting with a D: but screamed at all the hate.
When reported for spamming she claimed to scam them all,
but TNT did win this war and then came her downfall.
Poem by syrahsyara

The itsy bitsy nooblet tried to scam on the AC
By asking for a free lend of chokato TCG
A trusting lender took a shot and offered a free lend,
But the nooblet ran off and the lender won't see it again :(
Poem by lil_coconut

Got an idea for another poem? MAIL ME!

Fanmail/Awards

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Updates

***PLEASE READ***

As you may know, IBNP has been around for several years. When I first started neo (&this page), I was drawn to the HC, where "noob" is tossed around 307430735 times a day. After growing up both on and off neo, I find the use of the term just ...immature, to be frank. It's overused. And so while I will continue to run this page (because the poems are still humorous, and I would hate to let Neopia down ;) please know that I encourage you to use these sparingly, since "noob" is not a productive term in Neopian language. I contemplated taking the whole site down, but I still see some value in these poems as opposed to merciless flaming. Thanks for supporting IBNP throughout the years, and hopefully it will continue to grow maturely :)

6/27- Thanks for all the fanmail :)

6/1- I'm over the moon, 'cause guess what? ITs JUNE! :D

5/3- New user poem added!

3/31- +1 new poem, no contest entries so I think I'm scraping that idea :(

3/28 - 2 new poems added. Also, new feature added! I will add a monthly contest of user submitted poems. Look for my board on the HC!

3/3/10 - Hey :D

1/30- Hi. xD Newest thing = you can now recommend topics for my poems!

1/1- Happy New Year, everyone!

11/27 - Yes I'm still alive; I still answer neomails/fanmails, just haven't been updating because nothing noteworthy happened xD

9/25- School is keeping me really busy so I'll only be updating this page when I have something important to say. Thanks for understanding.

9/7-New poem!

9/1 - Fanmail keeps coming. Very grateful, guys, but I don't have time to screenie all of it! D: School's starting soon so updates to this page will be less frequent. I'll still be checking my account often though, so dont't worry!

8/24 - NEW POEM! + New button by Juicy Buttons! I LOVE IT!

8/18 - Wow, it's been quite a while! New fanmail, site seems to be gaining more popularity! Plus new button!

8/5 - Another button by Rain. Her work is always amazing! Also, I have a new affie at pea world - check out the site, it's truly great. And, even better, I'm listed at 2 more directories!

8/4 - My rereview turned up the exact same score, even though I made MAJOR changes. xD Whatever. I've been getting more fanmail lately!

8/3 - new affie! + a new button reequest

8/2 - new poem added, applying for a re-review today @ skylight

8/1- I was featured at white noise! Hoorah! And I added 2 new poems ^_^

7/31- I added a new poem! + I got 2 more affies and I was listed at a new directory

7/30 - Remember, affies are still OPEM! Mail me!...I continue advertising on the boards, and people seem to like my page!

7/29 - nothing new, just looking for ideas for new poems...

7/28 - AMAZING FANTASTICAL BANNER! Done by nattaleigh - I owe her lots :D

7/27 - Listed at a few directories - one of them thinks I'm a top site! :D

7/26 - I had to delete some affies from my list because they did not link back to me :( If your site was one of those deleted, please neomail me to clear up the situation, thanks.

7/25- I was reviewed by skylight reviews!

7/24 - MAJOR renevations, I changed the site from my boring attempt at a petpage layout to a great CSS from impulse. Thanks Mari!

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Button by Rain @ Cotton Island



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Affies


Affie requests are currently OPEN! MAIL ME!

Moments

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Reviews

I was first reviewed by skylight reviews!

I got an 87 out of 100!

credits

Layout courtesy of Mari @ Impulse. Background and header 1 background found on Google.



The banner you see at the top of this page is courtesy of Nattaleigh. Thanks so much!




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