The HCer's Survival kit

For when it's needed most!


Welcome to The HCer's Survival kit!
The items listed in this kit are vital for any budding HCer, Regular, or other visitor to the Help chat.
You never know when you might need a handy n00b spray, or a tent to sleep in for the night!
It is recommended that you equip yourself with as many of these items as you can get your hands on!
Preparation is key in survival!
Good luck, HCer.
Don't say we didn't warn you.

Basic kit

Things everyone should get their hands on
AKA 'Cookies and Milk'.
The ultimate item in which the HC's social life revolves around. Good for bribery, thank you's and a light refreshment!
Party in a box
AKA '8th Birthday Celebration Background'.
Great for celebrating, lightening the mood, negativity busting and general partying. One use.
The Report button
AKA 'Lenny Ray Gun of Freezing'.
Read the instruction manual before using, high likelihood of backfiring otherwise.

B-Gone Kit

Many brands of B-gone items are available! The brand shown here is 'Bea's Be Gonners!
Flamer B-gone
AKA 'Fire Extinguisher of Diversion'.
Very helpful for when things get a little too hot.
N00b B-gone
AKA 'Choco Spray'.
Results may vary, Side effects may include minor shrinking, itchy spots and possible rashes. Use Sparingly
Beggar B-gone
AKA 'Nothing'.
Guaranteed results!

Brand new! Now n00b be gone comes in 3 pretty new flavous! Now you can make the room smell good as well.
AKA 'n00b b-gone'.
A lovely scent that makes you think about skipping through fields of flowers!
AKA 'n00b b-gone'.
Makes n00by skin soft as well as b-gonning!
The Seaside!
AKA 'n00b b-gone'.
A lovely wafting sea breeze... perfect for those who aren't a fan of flowers!


Book kit

Here's some good books to swot up on!
FAQ Book
AKA 'Snarkie Answers to Stupid Questions'.
It's got all the answers you will ever need!
Neopian Times Editorial Archive
AKA 'Neopian Times Issue 3'.
For all the questions the rule books don't cover.
Insult book
AKA 'no name'.
n00b can get unoriginal at points, so try this handy selection! Carefully presented with origin and meaning attached.

Professionals Kit

Make sure you know what you are doing before you handle these items.
A Spell Checker
AKA 'Basic Spelling Songs'.
Helps you look extra professional! (Typos not included)
Empty Bottle
AKA 'Empty Healing Potion'.
Handy Storage for shrunken down n00bs! One N00b per bottle.
Headdesk desk
AKA 'Elegant Wooden Desk'.
Heddesk is a neopian, no, world wide web tradition! Make sure you have a desk for all those headdesks.
AKA 'Warriors Cloak of Wit'.
You will never loose a flame fight again!

Gift kit

When someone's been super nice to you recently, sometimes you need more than a cookie to express your thanks
AKA 'Red Pirate Socks'.
What a nice way of telling your friend that they rock socks!
(in dedication to Weaponstar and her awesome screenie directory)
Some good luck
AKA 'Good Luck Ankh'.
When a friend's life is a little down, maybe they need some good luck come flying thier way!
(in dedication to gee and kiwi)
AKA 'Pretty Bouquet'.
What a cute gift! Who doesn't like a nice pretty bunch of colourful flowers?

Not-So-Nice gifts kit

Revenge is sweet =D (but childish and stupid, obviously! -shifty eyes-)
AKA 'Pile of Dung'.
Dung is extra smelly, but anything you've just haulef up from the bottom of the sea works.
Bomb in disguise
AKA 'Egg Bomb'.
Awwhh, look, a purdy egg! Come to M-BOOM!-
Stink bomb
AKA 'Stink Bomb'.
This old scool prank works a charm!
Ticket to Iceland
AKA 'Terror Mountain Scene Stamp'.
How thoughtful! You can't help but hand out a few of these.
AKA 'Peanut Butter Spiders'.
Cheaper than actul paintbrushes, any day!

Desperate measures Kit

I hope you never have to use these items. For extreme emergencies only.
(Note: Free Hugs can also be received off neofriends and sympathetic lurkers)
Tent In a Box
AKA 'Tent'.
When the HC gets taken over, this is perfect for a hide away
AKA 'Asparagus'.
Effective way to get a certain staff member on your side
Free Hugs
AKA 'Cuddly Shoyru Plushie'.
For when things get rough. Also try the Kacheek, Lupe, Wocky and Grarrl alternatives!
Meepit Decoy
AKA 'Pork Steak'.
Of course it's not the real thing! -shifty eyes- ...Right?
Click Klacks
AKA 'Click Klacks'.
For when the HC get so... so slow/boring you need something stupid and pointless to keep you entertained
I surrender
AKA 'Neopets Flag'.
Wave when it's your last option and you are defeated. Not that you'll probably ever need it.

Disguise Kit

Great for when you've got a stalker after you, or your reputation has just been ruined!
Fake Smile
AKA 'Wax Lips'.
Behind that fake smile, is a HCer's sly grin...
Paper bag with eye holes
AKA 'Lenny Paper Mask'.
Great for nasty zits... i mean, err... disguising yourself!
Corny disguise
AKA 'Novelty Glasses'.
Oh, because that's not obvious, right?
Invisibility cloth
AKA 'Kacheek Inviso-Cloth'.
Now thats more like it! Complete invisibilty, perfect!

Late night Kit

Help deal with irritable late night problems
AKA 'Coffee'.
A vital source of caffeine for energy boosting at stupid times of night
AKA 'Sleep Ray'.
Night night! Instant sleep. Hours vary.
Headache cure
AKA 'Tooth Faerie Sweets'.
Cure for headaches which were obviously NOT caused by spending too much time on the computer.

You wish! Kit

-sigh- If only these items Existed, eh?
Spam Filter
AKA 'Kiko Drummer Sun Glasses'.
Just put on, and all marked spam will immediately disappear. For use on neoboards, neomail inboxes and guilds only.
AKA 'Asparagus Powered Ray Gun'.
No-one needs an ego THAT large. Lasts for up to one hour
Appreciation Booster
AKA 'Thanks Card'.
Hate it when no-one appreciates your help? Revenge shall be yours! One use only
Fountain of age
AKA 'Long Grey Beard'.
Ups the age of your current account, to your first ever account. Helpful for those who just got frozen and are sick of not being treated like a respectable old monther
Speed beads
AKA 'Speed Beads'.
Slip in that lol-able post before anyone else gets the chance! Also handy for 'first person to post gets...' boards...

Cheaper alternatives?

Face it, not everyone can afford these items!
Here are some of our suggested cheaper replacements.

Report button: Kaylas Potion Of Freezing, Frozen Jelly, Ice Cave Crystal, The Real thing.
Socks: Magic Smelly Socks, Skunk Moehog Socks, Blue Zafara Socks, Plushie Skeith Socks, Woolen Socks
Some good luck: 4 Leaf Clover is also a good choice, though more expensive.
Flamer B-gone: Bottle of Water, Water Mote, Two Bottles of Water, Stagnant Puddle of Water
N00b B-gone: Hairspray and Smug Bug Spray
FAQ Book: Quick Reference Dictionary, The Wise Cybunny, Advanced Learning, Learn Social Skills
A Spell Checker: You can always use a computer programme with a built in spell checker (like word) or download a attachment for your browser.
Empty bottle: Invisible Sand
Bribary: Asparagus Yoghurt, Jelly Asparagus, Spinach and Asparagus Pasty, Asparagus Gateaux
Free Hugs: Neofriends, People talking on your board, Guild members, Lurkers, TNT Staff...
Spam Filter: Round Sunglasses, Jazzmosis Glasses, Cybunny X Ray Glasses
Ego-shrinker: Control Rod Apparatus, Inexpensive Aisha Pin
Appreciation Booster: Youre The Best Card

Please note that these items may not be as effective as the suggested items above

See also:

N00b -b- Gone
Tons at hand
Cost: N00bish behavior