Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger
And I realize that empty words are not enough
I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed,
Under the weight of my regrets

I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound

Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right, I know that there's
A difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it and

I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound

Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of always talking when there's no change
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow

Late night, brakes lock,
Hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop
So I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I
Feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes
Into fluorescent white
They flip the siren,
Hit the lights,
Close the doors
And I am gone

I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound

Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound

Chapter 1:
The Very Beginning

The day of my birth was said to be an extremely happy occasion. A tremendous occasion indeed. When I was born, I was said to be the most beautiful child ever seen. But I had not been a gelert. No. I was not born the way you see me now. I was born a lupe. A strong, and handsome lupe, and my parents we proud. When you here my name, Vala, what does it make you think of? My full name is Valamai, but when I was named, my parents were inspired by the word 'valiant', for they knew I would be so. I was going to be, like a god to all of our kind.

And I grew up knowing that, knowing that I was a blessing to all who looked upon me. Or that's as I saw myself. Whether or not other's saw it that way as well, remains to be seen. For there were those who were jealous and there were also those who simply admired me. I was ignorant of both, and I simply flaunted myself, boasting my good looks. I was vain. I now see this. But this is besides the point. I grew up in a pack, in a place far away from this wretched city. My father was Alpha, and I, his only son. In our pack, we did not need to fight to survive, for we were the commanders of the area. Until the other pack moved in.

Chapter 2:
Ryokali

They had been driven from their homeland by humans and were all close to death. I did not know this when they arrived, and nor did my father. And nor did he care. He saw them as intruders, and as a good leader of my pack would do, he challenged them, ready to drive them out. We had never been into war before, it was not the way of our pack, but we were not soft either, and we would fight. I was standing beside my father as he faced the other Alpha of the pack head on. I remember his words as if he were still speaking them into my ears now...

This territory is ours." he had growled. "And you are not welcome." But the other Alpha was calm, despite the dire situation he was in and held his chin high and replied, "We come and go where we please." And with that, their pack had left, but not before I caught sight of the Alpha's daughter. Ryokali. There had never been a more beautiful girl in our pack, but unfortunately, she was from the other pack. A sort of Romeo and Juliet, yes? She had seen me as well, and her eyes had narrowed. Then she had flashed me a very coquettish smile. And I was done.

I knew at once I had to see her again. Sounds cliche doesn't it? I suppose it rather is. But it gets worse, I guarantee. Although our packs were on he edge of a battle, I constantly snuck away after our pack had fallen asleep to see her. We were in love. And then she proposed an idea. "We should leave, go off by ourselves, leave all of this." Sounds wonderfully cliche indeed. My heart had leapt at the prospect. But I had not a chance to say yes or no.

Chapter 3:
To Die

At the moment when I opened my mouth to reply, I felt the wind knocked out of me when something collided with me. I caught a glimpse of Ryo's stunned face and then I saw the glitter of long white teeth shining in the moonlight. "So, has your father sent you in our territory to spy on us, runt?" It was the other Alpha. Ryo's father. I could say nothing. I would not attack Ryo's father in front of her, and so, I laid there and did nothing. "Going to do anything, runt?" he had snarled. I again said nothing, and so, it began.

I felt blow after blow being struck against my face. Dagger-sharp claws raked across every inch of my body, but still I did nothing. And neither did Ryo. But unlike her, my father would not stand for such a thing. He had tracked me that particular night, and I was lucky he had. Ryo's father was thrust off of me by my own, and I quickly jumped to my feet. The two Alphas yowled at each other, and all the commotion brought all the other lupes running. They poured into the area, and all the tension that had been building broke loose in a flurry of fur, claws, teeth, and blood.

The whole thing is a blur to me now, but by the end of everything, I knew Ryo had escaped, but I certainly had not. By the end of the battle, I was not only bloodstained and ragged, but I was near the brink of death. Blood was spilling onto the ground as I stood. There were still bits of brawling here and there, but for the most part, it was over. I looked at myself, and at my pack, and I wanted to curl up and die. Lucky for me, the damage I had taken on might cause just that. I dragged myself away from the rest of the pack, and lay, ready to pass on, by a tree. There was nothing in my life worth living for anymore. Even if I healed, I would be hideous with scars, and it was obvious I would never be able to see my love again. And I didn't even really wish to. She did not defend me, she simply abandoned me. Thinking about these things, I slowly closed my eyes, and my mind went blank

Chapter 4:
A New Kind of Heck

The next thing that happened when I woke up, I thought I was in the after life. There were bright lights ahead of me, but then they vanished. I blinked to clear my mind and I realized that someone was dragging me by the scruff. I breathed in and knew at once it was Ryo. A part of me was overjoyed to see her, but another part was not. With what little strength I had, I wrenched away from her and she gasped. "What are you doing?!" I had howled at her, trying to stand. She said nothing,and she had no right to and so, I simply glared at her and left, but I didn't get far. I walked but a few steps until my paws his hard ground. I turned around and realized where the lights had come from. I was in the middle of a road, and before I knew it, everything was black again.

The second time I awoke, I knew I was dead. All my pain was gone and the area around me was blindingly white. But when I tried to stand, I couldn't move and I realized I was tied down. A pale face suddenly appeared in front of mine. I jerked in alarm. I still was not dead, I was still very much alive. I was not in heaven, but in a new kind of heck. Wires were attached all over my body, and my body itself looked strange. It was not so much like it is now, but my fur was darker, and my body proportions slightly distorted, yet I was still a lupe. But not for long.

That portion of my life is too much of a blur, but I do not forget the pain I was put through in that facility. I think those who were operating on me thought they were trying to save my life after being hit by a car, but it was not that way to me. In fact, it is their fault my life is now ruined. They healed my wounds and injected me with serums, but not only that, they tried to make me stronger, a better, more advanced life form so that if I ever came head on with a car again, I would not need rescuing. But they failed.

Chapter 5:
Breakdown

On one day after a particularly painful test, my body had had enough. On that day, my body unraveled, breaking down in almost anyway possible. My lungs became constricted, my heart raced, blood spewed from my mouth and ears, and my bones became weak and unable to support my body, and they broke. I remember my own howls of pain ringing in my blood-filled ears and I remember humans surrounding me, trying to calm me. But I thrashed about, and they could do nothing. I suppose they did the only think they felt they could do. They shut me down.

For a long period of time, I was like a empty shell as they replaced my body, I only know this because for that period of time, everything was black. I was in infinite sleep. Until they woke me up. But I was not myself. I was something else entirely. I was what you see me as now. They made me into a gelert. A mutated, ugly, and disproportionate gelert. But not only that. In order to save my body from a shut down, they had to neutralize all pain I felt, and this is how I obtained my CIPA.

I saw myself in the reflection on the glass around me, and was outraged. I thrashed and fought, and I was stronger. I felt no pain as they tried to force me down again, and so I carried on. I had no limits now. And I broke free, and I ran. And so now, I am what I am. Alone, hideous, and painless.

For Calciferai
<a href="/~valamai"><img src="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd174/exactly101911/Vala/Calcopy.png" border="0" alt="Don't Throw Me Away..."></a>

For Temporah
<a href="/~valamai"><img src="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd174/exactly101911/Vala/Temporahcopy.png" border="0" alt="Don't Throw Me Away..."></a>

For Elfcy (app)
<a href="/~valamai"><img src="http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd174/exactly101911/Vala/Elfcopy.png" border="0" alt="Don't Throw Me Away..."></a>