.:As a pup:.
I had been sick for years. My body slowly dying though I was still young and full of energy. I was still a pup. Yet fate was cruel to me. My parents left me for dead since birth. I didn't understand why so I came crawling back. My siblings were frightened of me as I looked up at my mother, "Mommy," I begged, "Please Mommy, I'm a good pup. Please take me back." But she just ignored me, glancing over once to give me a look of utter disgrace. Dad came then and took me away. Far away. He left me in the middle of the dark woods and left me for dead, for the second time. My heart was strong, so I didn't give up.

.:Home Again:.
As I grew, I learned how to care for myself. I learned that the disease left me with one weakness. I couldn't run for long. My body was significantly weak. I would rarely get bursts of energy. At times though. They didn't come and I was left with a wave of fatigue. I could be in mid run and all of a sudden fall asleep. But I would awake more tired than ever. For in my 'sleep' I would shake uncontrollably. Yet I learned how to hunt and when to sense a sleepspell. I learned how to use my eyes to freeze my prey and then go for the kill.
When I was two years old, I found my way back to my old den. I watched from the shadows of the trees as my mother came out, leading two pups. My brothers. They were so tiny and cute and I wanted to see Mommy again. I cautiously stepped from the bushes and stood before her.
Mommy, its me. Deveron. Look how big I am!" She didn't believe me and it was very obvious. She rose her hackles. "Get out of here you liar. That mongrel was taken far away when he was very young. He was sick and he died. Now shoo!" She snapped out at me and I turned and ran. I finally slowed and stood beside a tree, tears running from my eyes.

.:The Anger:.
She thought I was dead. She didn't seem the least bit angry either. She just looked….relieved. Relieved that her burden pup was no longer living. Relieved that she didn't have anything left to disgrace her name. Without warning a horrible rage filled me and my vision clouded. My body moved by itself, I couldn't control it as it turned back and tore through the underbrush. A cruel smile broke out on my face. Mommy needs to suffer. Needs to feel the pain that I felt. Needs to feel the pain of a loved one leaving them forever.
My whole body shook as I hid in the bushes once again. Soon Mommy left to hunt, Dad was still gone so all that was left were the pups. Good. I snuck out from the bush and approached the den. I stuck my head down and acted as puppyish as possible. The two curious pups approached. "Hey guys, I'm your big brother. Wanna play?" I asked in my sweetest voice. They took the bait and two little bundles of fluff tumbled from the entrance.
I locked eyes with the two, entrancing them with my golden eyes like I did my prey. I moved before the entrance to the den and one of them, realizing what was happening whimpered slightly, still unable to break my gaze. "Hello guys. Met your big brother. The one Mommy probably told you was dead." With that the anger completely clouded my vision and I leapt forward teeth bared.

.:Murderer:.
Suddenly the anger vanished. I froze and blinked. I turned my head slowly to my left and saw one slaughtered body lying still, its blood scattered across the clearing. Something fuzzy was in my mouth and I spat it out, horrified. The other body lay frozen at my feet. Eyes wide open in horror, body horribly mutilated. I gagged as the horror of what I had done came flooding back to me. I ran from that clearing tears soaring from my eyes.

.:"Dying":.
I remember sitting on this very cliff and begging for death to come and take me from my sick body as the screams of my mother echoed after me. Fate must have felt some pity for me, for as I lay here tears pouring from my eyes, a sleepspell hit me. As I shook violently in my 'sleep' my heart ceased to beat.

.:Fallen:.
Yet I wasn't allowed into heaven, for I had slaughtered an innocent being whom had done nothing to me. I was left here, with wings, a golden bandanna, and a leg cuff inscribed on it the reason I wasn't allowed to enter the pearly gate. I was also left with more strength. I no longer have sleepspells and for that I am thankful.
So I am stuck here now. A fallen angel of heaven. One who will not be allowed in. Sometimes when I wish I would be allowed into that cloudy paradise, the breeze echoes with the dying whimpers of two pups and the howls of a mother.