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Introduction / Hello Eumaios / Statistics / Porcus / Links

You think you might die any moment. Heat comes and goes in tidal waves. Sweat pores munificently from your skin.

Normally, you would not consider yourself a querulous person; and though the circumstances of your situation demand that you articulate explicitly on your misfortune, your lack of companionship and the imminence of fainting dissuades you from this objective.

The sands of the Lost Desert obscure your vision. You are trapped in a pastel-yellow haze, and each breath you take threatens to clog your lungs with debris. You feel your skin wrinkle up toward the sun, whose relentless surveillance of the land makes you feel just that more tiny and insignificant.

I'm too young to die! you complain and abnegate all dignity as a mostly human being by tearing off most of your habiliments-for-what-you-thought-would-be-a-pleasant-little-trip-to-Sakhmet so that you would not die of dehydration at least. (An all-too-vivid thought of your being laid into your final resting place as a prune assails your imagination.) Curse that tour guide, leaving so soon and stranding me here, of all places!

The heat's even got you using your proverbial thesaurus to describe your suffering. You're not too sure from where all these sixth-grade vocabulary words are creeping back.

You see a pyramid in the distance. As a tourist, under any other conditions, you would exclaim and marvel at such a grand sight of ancient engineering. As a person with the desert as your deathbed, you wish the pyramid were a refreshment stand.

But as your legs grow weaker and more jelly-like, and the pyramid drawing achingly closer and closer, you see that the pyramid isn't a figure of your imagination, but actually exists. Well, that's a nice change of pace.

The pyramid is a handsome establishment, a bit too respectable to be built out here in the middle of nowhere. It looks like what you would expect a pyramid to look like--big, triangular, and seemingly impenetrable. You temporarily forget your woes to admire this technical beauty, and watch sandstone blocks build their way up your line of vision into the white sky.

This picturesque scene is interrupted by the loud grating of rocks and a small door from the side of the pyramid is pushed open. For a fraction of a second, you are annoyed by this interruption; then you are elated, for you have found (hopefully human) company and you can DRINK WATER!!!

Imagine your desolation as an idiosyncratically clothed (what why is she wearing black) girl steps out of the abyss to greet you, with a smile so unctuous you feel like you are eating French Fries.

_"Ah, but how hath thou made thy way here?" She pronounces importantly as you slide very much involuntarily into her uncomfortable embrace (your grey matter is pretty fried by now.) "Welcome to our humble abode!"_

Somewhere in the point of time between "..humble abode!" and your trepidatious entrance into the pyramid, you fainted. Ah.

Now you wake up to the smell of Shenkuu spices vying with milk-coffee for dominance. An empty water bottle sits next to you, and a cool, wet towel is folded neatly and placed on your forehead.

Vision returns slowly to your eyes, as if reluctant to bless them with the sight you are about to see. Surprisingly, you find the interior of the house not too different from the conventional condominium. Flowery, poorly-chosen designs comprise the wallpaper. Spartan bamboo furniture stand in stark contrast with fat Victorian armchairs and pouffe-stools. A sprawling Persian rug lies underneath the sofa you are lying prone on.

And.. ah, there is that girl who has just "saved your life." She is busy catching desert mice with a broom and a muscular pink-furred Aisha in attendance. What an embarrassing person to owe your life to.

You pretend to be unconscious so that she may not talk to you; but she sees your eyelids flutter shut, and graces you with her conversation. The Pink Aisha tactfully withdraws to an unspecified location.

_"You woke up!" She says. Well no duh captain obvious.

You mutter something intentionally unintelligible so that she might see fit to stop. No such luck.

_"Well, my name's Telemakhos, Tele for short," Telemakhos says, grasping your unwilling weak hands and shaking them (yes, both) vivaciously. "I'm not really sure about how you got here, but boy, I bet you're so glad you found Tele House!" (You have no idea.) "I sure hope you feel all right. What's your name?"_

You figure you might as well try to be the better man. "guest," you croak.

_"Welcome, then, guest!" Telemakhos beams. "I bet you're just so excited huh? Why not meet my minions?"_

INTRODUCTION TO EUMAIOS

Telemakhos leads you to a small bedroom offset from the living room. She pushes the door open and gestures for you to enter. Somewhat tentatively, you enter. The door closes behind you as Telemakhos cackles.

The room is furnished simply, with handsome wooden furniture: two chairs, a bed with a light mattress, and a writing desk with an oaken lamp chiseled in the likeness of the Healer Aisha from Altadorian lore. Also on the desk is a neat stack of expensive parchment laden with writing in black, and there are several clay tablets piled, too.

At first, what you initially identified as a lump on the bed begins to move, and then the sheets fall off and you see a little Plushie Aisha fall off the side. He lands on the floor with a rather painful "thump;" then, yawning gratuitously, wakes up.

_Salve, good guest," He says, so intrinsically aware of your presence that you are startled. "What brings you here?"_

_"Uhh.. your owner thought that I would like to meet her minions," you answer, honestly. Then, a bit conscious of appearing churlish, and desiring to make yourself appealing in front of this polite, rather adorable specimen, you add, "I'm guest, and you are...?"_

The Plushie Aisha nods sagaciously, then replies, "I am Eumaios. Welcome to my room."_

STATISTICS

Name | Eumaios Laertystides
Alias | Eu
Pronunciation | Yoo - MAI - Oes
..Name meaning? | Eumaios is the loyal swineherd from The Odyssey. He is the first human Odysseus meets upon returning from his twenty years away from Ithacus. (Just read the poem)
Gender | Male
Species | Plushie & Royal Boy Aisha (Cross-Paint)
D.O.B. (Neopian) | 21st Day of Collecting, Year Ten
Star + Zodiac | Libra + Pig
Age (Appearance) | 20s
Age (Physical) | 50s
Age (Actual) | 2059
Blood Relations | Possibly Laertys if Telemakhos bothers his owner Mini enough about the idea lol
Love | None

Build | Average in most respects, a bit short, even for an Aisha. His fur is very thick and rich.
Eyes | Happily black
Fur | Pleasantly tan; rather like a sheaf of slightly burnt corn

Appearance | Eumaios is a fairly average looking Aisha, whose only remarkable physical features are:

His lush lavender fur, splotched in parts with yellow and purple
His tendency to garb himself in robes, even after the Healer and him were sent to the New World.
His attachment to a wide violet hat, brimmed with gold.

Personality | Eumaios is the type of person that is instantly likable; he is humble, he is altruistic, he is empathetic. However, while his soft qualities make him impossible to hate or admonish, he is rather like a doormat, and will let virtually anyone walk all over him.

This does not mean that he lacks self-confidence; he is not jarred by insults or jibes. He is, actually, quite secure in himself; while not possessive of beauty or strength, he does not allow these things to encroach upon his conduct.

He holds himself high and outwardly condones all acts of criminality. In truth, he seeks to "inwardly modify," so to speak, the vagabonds of modern civilization by behaving in the kindest, most pious way possible. This doesn't always work, but Eumaios sure tries.

If, however, pushed far enough, Eumaios will go berserk and quite violent (but only for his causes of upholding morality). This has not been witnessed by anyone other than Nani.

In summary, Eumaios is rather similar to a certain historical figure. ;)

PORCUS

Porcus the Snorkle is Eu's friendly compatriot. While Eumaios raises a herd of Snorkles, Porcus is an Altachuck, and assists Eumaios in raising the pigs.

Porcus is a loud fellow, unlike his owner. He is always causing grief for Eumaios and anyone associated with his devilish self. Porcus has a voracious appetite and will eat anything that moves and does not object to being ingested.

Fortunately, he is still a steadfast companion. Porcus has a very keen sense of smell, which is very useful sometimes (like sniffing out the kidnapper of a member of the herd), but can be destructive (like being distracted by the scent of brewing stew.)

His name means "Pig" in Latin.

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