There is no egg in eggplant,

No ham in hamburger,

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England.

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.

But if we examine its paradoxes--

We find that quicksand takes you down slowly,

Boxing rings are square,

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

If the teacher taught,

Why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

What does a humanitarian eat?!

Why do people recite at a play,

Yet play at a recital?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which, of course, isn't a race at all)

That is why:

When the stars are out and they are visible,

But when the lights are out and they are invisible

Why is it that when I wind up my watch

It starts, but when I wind up this poem,

It ends..?