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Pet Name: GentlemanVampire
Ah, velcome mortals, to my introduction. If you vish to learn more of my unvorldly powers and vays in vhich I...
*cough, cough* Ahem. Pardon me. I appear to have had a sliver of cliche caught in my throat.
Greetings. I am GentlemanVampire, a Blumaroo fortunate enough to celebrate the festivities of All Hallow's Eve in my attire every day of the year. An appearance which, perhaps, may have its advantages but also carries with it many burdens a Blumaroo of my age can find rather tiring. Especially during the daytime -- at sun-up my energy leaves me quicker than PandaTarou scurrying away from the truly withering glare of Wingoball gnomes.
As the eldest of the four pets, I'm looked to as somewhat of a father figure; an unfortunate position to hold when even caring for a plant quite often results in a funeral and small floral remembrance service. Overwatering, underwatering.. the creatures are obviously too fussy for natural selection's taste. But I digress. Moral stick-in-the-mud as I might be, I cannot imagine the chaos that would erupt were I not here to slow SplatteredTatsurou's gradual descent on rambunctious anarchy. No, I do not find superglue or silly putty remotely amusing in any fashion -- regardless as to where or to what appendage they are applied.
To me, the concept of "fun" is rather overrated. Although I do not discourage enjoyment, that of a good book or pleasantly uninterrupted nap seems to be the most effective and sanity-preserving form. Why anyone would engage in activities that require movement or risk of overexposure to sunlight and nature is beyond me, and frankly, something I think they will come to regret as wisdom befalls them. Often I find myself the treater of scraped knees and tangled tails; although I can't imagine how the others think there are ailments I would have any experience in curing, as the most severe infliction I've encountered has been a rather sore wrist from overexertion with my die when visiting with Von Roo.
A lovely fellow, Von Roo, positively delightful. Rather misunderstood, in my opinion. The unfortunate soul lives in an area where an obvious epidemic is occuring and yet he has the courage to stay despite its danger, despite the risk he too may one day be taken away into the night by this mysterious illness affecting so many around him. Why there's no holiday in honour of his bravery escapes me.
I do, of course, have hobbies and interests -- reading is a particular joy of mine. Although presently I've only doddled my way through just over eighty, I plan to devour a great deal more by the time my eyesight deteriorates enough for me to begin reading billboards for recreation. Particular favourites of mine are The Way Windmills Work and All About Glass, as it's always wonderful to read things with matter that can be easily applied to daily life.
Although I rarely venture from the comfort of my armchair, I do occasionally pay visit to the kind fellows in the Haunted Woods and Deserted Fairground. Despite my repeated failures, both Bagatelle and Test Your Strength are always games I enjoy, particularly as those running the stands don't seem too hard on me for wanting to keep trying. In fact, they both encourage me to try again and again -- a friendliness in the games industry that's simply lacking in the other arenas of play, these days. Why risk being doused in water in the scorching heat of the sun to play Gormball when even a loss in the Deserted Fairground earns you cheers? The trick, I believe, is to simply keep trying no matter how much money you lose. And bless their hearts, those running the games seem to be all for the idea.
When it comes to nutrition, I believe it's just as important to care for your personality as your body and thus have created a very particular diet for myself, consisting mostly of Spooky Shakes, Chilled Eyeball Custard, Baked Beans and Prune Juice. The efficiency of one's digestive system is second only in importance to maintaining a diet that keeps my figure so well-rounded. I also enjoy Scary Soup from time to time, as it's a dish both SweetYukke and PandaTarou despise so I can store it up for months with no threat of abduction.
But now the sun is rising, and I'm best to sleep. Perhaps we'll speak again if I meet you at the Coconut Shy.
~The Gentleman Vampire
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