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Pet Name: Dmitri_Atreides
"No, no, no, you're doing it all wrong! I told you the trip wire has to be attached to the lever and drawn across that space over there so that it's not so obvious! Yeesh, and they say three heads are better than one." A smoldering pteri comes around the corner - that is, he is literally smoldering because as he harriedly brushes at the crest of feathers on his head, sparks fly. His eyes light up and he opens his beak in a grin when he sees you, "Ah, sorry to keep you waiting, I was just overseeing a little, er... project. It's so hard to find good help these days." He glances at the clock on the wall and chuckles slightly, "I'm going to make this quick because I have a feeling my "brother" will be here any minute and I wouldn't want him to interrupt. My name is Dmitri, and as you can tell, I am a fire pteri. What about my hair-do? Yeah, I fashioned it after my idol, the infamous Dr. Sloth. Nice, eh? Anyway, I'm sure you're expecting me to talk about how I came to be such a hot specimen," at this he laughs again, obviously thinking he is incredibly funny, "I could tell you something fantastical - like that I was turned fire after playing one too many rounds of volcano run, or eating too much cornupepper jelly (which, might I say, you can never eat too much of) - but frankly that would be lying, and when I lie I at least like to make it believable. No, it was a magical paint brush that did it, hope I didn't disappoint you by failing to be a tragic lab experiment who finally attained a worthy color."
At this point, a tri-colored bearog wanders out, leaving a trail of jelly prints behind it. Shuffling up to Dmitri, the central head lets out a series of muttering growls and the pteri seems to listen intently. After a minute, he gives the bearog a pat on each of its heads, "Good work Cerbearus, now just go make sure that meddling angelpuss doesn't ruin the surprise." One of its heads seems to be intently trying to lick its own ear with its tongue, but the other two give nods of affirmation and the petpet strides purposefully away. Dmitri turns back to you, "All right, I'm really going to start this time, no more interruptions. This story is about an incredible mission I undertook for the Master. Some pets get faerie quests, but I got a quest from Dr. Frank Sloth Himself. It was a most harrowing experience, but somehow I managed to accomplish the task. One day while I was visiting the Space Station, I got "lost" and found myself in a long, dark corridor. At the end there was a massive door guarded by two mutant grundos. I got this fluttery feeling in my stomach, and before I knew what I was doing, I found myself gliding down the hallway like I was in a trance. When I reached the door, the guard just squinted at me and blinked. Then he turned and knocked on the door - "Your birdy minion is here to see you, Master!" he called. I held my breath for a few seconds and almost jumped out of my feathers when I heard the booming reply - "Send him in then!" I was so excited I couldn't even think, I just went through the doorway when the grundo opened it for me. It was really Dr. Sloth, I was going to meet him at last! Entering the room, I saw a high-backed chair before a computer console. All I could see was the silhouette against the flickering of multiple screens, but there was no mistaking the three sharp spikes of his hair. Then he spoke again, in that deep, booming voice like a black hole trying to swallow you up - "It seems like things have been going a little too smoothly down on Neopia, so I need you to throw a wrench in their clockwork, so to speak. I want them down for so long, they'll be squirming and flopping like koi out of water." - and then, I got to hear it with my own ears, that most magnificent and devious laughter. It dawned on me then, who he thought I was - so the Down for Maintenance pteri was indeed a servant of Sloth as I expected! The whole time he had never turned around to look at me, but I bowed low and managed to say, "Yes, Master, it is my pleasure to serve." There was a pause after I spoke, presumably because Dr. Sloth had noticed my voice did not match that of his usual "birdy minion," but I guess he ignored the disparity and just said - "Good, now go." I turned and flew out of the office, not even sparing a glance at the grundo guards as I went back the way I had come, all the while thinking of what kind of havoc I could stir up to put Neopia...Down for Maintenance." Dmitri starts to break into some maniacal laughter of his own when there is a loud crash from off-stage. The pteri glances back at the clock and grins, "Right on time!" A jelly-covered starry shoyru stumbles out, eyes glowing with indignant rage. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, FEATHERBRAIN!" Alexander roars, and starts chasing after Dmitri, who flaps into the air, laughing hysterically. “Well you’ve been a great audience, but as you can see I’ve got to leave you now, have a Sloth-i-ful day!” He takes off backstage and you hear the sounds of the scuffle gradually fade away. That's it? You don't even get to hear about what Dmitri did while he was the Down for Maintenance Pteri for a day? Well, you certainly won't vote for him now. As you get up to leave, you see Cerbearus dragging something onto the stage. After he wrestles it into position, you see it is a sign that reads: “Dmitri for Spotlight or suffer the wrath of the Down for Maintenance Pteri. P.S. – It probably involves sludge. P.S.S. - All Hail Sloth.”
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