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"M'kays Ap0c, here's our biiiig chance. Don't ruin it or I'll have to hurt you."
"ME ruin it? What about you? You're bound to set the place on fire!"
"Well at least I'm not prancing around in a little cloak acting like the grim reaper!"
"At least I don't set anything that moves on fir-"
"Ahem, kids? You gunna stand there and fight, or come tell us why you deserve the spotlight?"
Two tiny mutant techos stand face to face in a room backstage (isn't it great how there's this stage that just sorta appears for pet spotlight entries? VERY convenient), bickering nonstop, as always. One is normal mutant techo colors, only much darker, with a spiffy little scorpion-like tail. The other is a bit oddly colored, grayish skin, bluish stomach. They have the same eyes, and are clearly related.
"Yup, we're coming! As soon as Ray apologizes."
"APOLIGIZES? For WHAT? I did nothing. I'm perfect in every way!"
"Peh, yeah right. In your dreams."
"If you little brats, I mean, kids, don't get onstage in .3 seconds, we're moving on."
"I AM NOT A BRAT."
"Ooooo, you called her a brat. Now she's gunna kill you."
"Mhmm, right. Look, would you hurry u-"
"I AM NOT A BRAT."
"Sure, whatever. Get on stage no- OH MY GOD"
"..shouldn't have called her a brat."
The following scene is a bit odd, and involves an angry little techo setting the evil stagehand on fire because she likes fire. But we don't need to go into details on that.
"..you good now?"
"Yup! Let's go on stage now."
And so the two walk onto stage, expecting lots of cheers. Instead, everyone is wondering why the building seems to be burning down.
"Hello, we're Ray and Ap0c!"
"You mean, Ap0c and Ray."
"No I don't."
"Yes you DO."
"DO NOT DO NOT DO NOOOOO-"
"Uh.. kids? We're on a schedule. Can you please get to the point? And...why do I smell smoke?" "Right. As I was saying, we're Ray and Ap0c."
Ap0c twitches slightly but doesn't say anything. Yay for self-control!
"And we're here because we deserve to be the pet spotlight."
"Because we're special."
And then the two fall silent. Because as far as they're concerned, that pretty much covers it.
"..do you have anything else to say?"
"No tricks, what you like, dislike, your past, inspirational speech, anything?"
"So. you deserve it because you're 'special'."
"Yup. But I'm more special then Ray."
"Shhhh.. you'll get your turn. Now..Ap0c, is it? Why are you specialer?"
"Because I am. And Ray is a freak."
"AND she always has a hissy fit when someone tells her the truth about her freakiness."
"YOU'RE MEAN I HATE YOU WAAAAAAH."
And with that, Ray runs offstage wailing. Ap0c looks slightly guilty.
"..does that mean I can go for the spotlight solo?"
"Well, you signed up as a pair, so no. No you can't."
"Maybe next year."
Ray returns, cuddling a teddy bear.
"..Ap0c, I set your room on fire. Hope you don't mind."
Remember the fire? Yea, the one burning the stage down? Isn't it great how by this point it just seems to have disappeared? Ah, the power of a writer who's sick of a plotline.
"Ray, I hear voices. Talking about plotlines. What's that all about?"
"I hear it toooo.. THE SPIRITS ARE TRYING TO CONTACT US."
"YAAAAY let's go home."
And so the two walk off into the sunset. Because sunsets are dramatic.
Leaving the pet spotlight guy looking a bit bewildered.
NOTE: No stagehands were harmed in the making of this spotlight.
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