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Pet Name: _
Breed: Maraquan Candychan
My name is -_-. Yes, that ridiculous face is my name. Just so we are clear, I do not condone this name based on my never changing face nor do I condone any fellow petpets undergoing such an unusual punishment. My number one complaint is how anyone can say this name in the first place. It has no letters and nothing to indicate sound. But I digress.
Now, you may be wondering, how am I projecting these meaningless thoughts to you even though I cannot speak? Well, that’s not important. All you need to know is that I’m an intellectual that has lived for thousands of years. Sure, apparently my age is considered only a few hundred hours old, but do not trust those numbers. Being a rock that has lived for thousands of years, I have traveled all over the world, seen many sights, and have had plenty of time to ponder over minute thoughts. Before you ask, yes, I can move, albeit very slow. Of course, somehow I ended up from being a wandering rock to getting picked up and became labelled a “petpet.”
Now to the story of my current owner, SHROOMCAPS. Yes, SHROOMCAPS in all caps. Can you believe that he bought me for seven hundred thousand neopoints? Me, a rock. A rock with a face. He buys me for an exorbitant amount of neopoints for who knows why and let’s not get started about my given name again.
Well, despite my complaints, I do not dislike my owner. Rather than treating me like a pet, he treats me like a friend. I assume it is because he lacks companionship from other neopians. While he gets along with almost anyone with his outgoing personality, none particularly want to be near him for a long time. I suppose he bought me because he thought I was a non-sentient petpet even if he say that he got me because I “rock.” Perhaps he had a fear of rejection with that personality of his.
Bad jokes. Constant yelling. Bad names. I suppose I can see why they may not want to hang around him, but I find it rather charming. Wordplay jokes that require creative thinking and a voice that calls all attention to him. As you may know, I despise my name, but at least it’s unique…?
“ROCK BUDDYY!! WHERE ARE YOU??”
Oh boy, there he comes. Interestingly, even if I’m named -_-, he never seems to call out that name. Guess even he does not know how to say it. Even more reason to question why I’m legally called that.
“AHHA! THERE YOU ARE!!”
He picked me up and put me on a table with paint supplies… Oh no. I can feel the cold, wet trail of paint against my face as he dragged a paintbrush across. Some drip down haphazardly.
“YESS, YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!”
Somehow, I doubt it but sure. He picked me up once again before the paint even dried and ran to a room with a sparkly wallpaper on only one wall and some neopet with a camera.
“EHEHE, NOW THAT YOU’RE GONNA BE A PART OF MY FAM, ROCK BUDDY, IT’S ABOUT TIME WE TAKE A FAMILY PIC DON’T YA THINK?”
I can see the cameraman cringing away from his yelling. I’m sorry, stranger, please deal with him for a little while longer. SHROOMCAPS stands in front of the sparkly wallpaper posing proudly as a flash goes off. He gently puts me down and runs out with the cameraman to get the picture processed. He comes back a few minutes later with a picture frame.
“LOOK ROCK BUDDY, LOOK!! IT CAME OUT SO NICE! OUR FIRST FAM PIC, AHAHA!!”
He laid down next to me and hugged me as he put the picture in front of me. “Best Rock.” Not what I expected to be painted on me, but I feel very... touched.
“I HOPE WE CAN BE BUDDIES FOREVER, ROCK BUDDO.”
Me too, my loud friend. Me too.
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