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Petpet Name: Chalcedony ("the Evil Kadoatie Mastermind")
Owner: rayinte
Pet: Laouja (the Found Desert Aisha)
Breed: Kadoatie

Hi.

I am Chalcedony, the Kadoatie. My owner is Laouja, an Aisha who says she used to be a Lupe. She sports the highly popular Lost Desert Fashion... but I wonder. If the "Lost Desert" has been discovered, shouldn't it be called the "Found Desert"?

Laouja has had several other pets before I came along, but they were all quite inferior. Would you believe she used to own a Searax?! How ... primitive. I'm certainly glad her tastes have improved enough to appreciate a pet of my caliber, and I'm quite pleased with her.

My Grand-owner--Laouja calls her "Mommy," but I am far beyond that level of childishness--is known as Rayinte. She prefers the nickname "Ray," and I admit, it is much easier to say, so that's what I'll call her. To the point--Ray suggested that we allow all of Neopia to recognize and worship the wonder that is me, and I quite firmly agreed. She also pointed out that the entries that tend to win the "Pet Spotlights" tell sappy little "feel good" stories that are basically carbon copies of each other.

You know... "I had a horrible mean owner who left me in the pound, and then along came (blank) who saved me and fed me and now I'm living happily-ever-after with (blank)!"

Ray respectfully suggested that we come up with such a sappy little Chicken Soup story somewhat along those lines. It would be entirely false of course, but then, almost all of the winning entries are complete fabrications, I should think.

If I came up with one of those stories, it would start like this: When I was a baby Kadoatie, I lived in a cardboard box with my mother and ten siblings, in the dumpster behind the Healthy Food Shop. Naturally, this is where I devloped my taste for quality food. When my siblings and I were old enough, Mother took us all to the Petpet Shop, where hopefully we would be sold into bondage as petpets to rich, snobby Neopets owned by rich, snobby owners. In that lucky event, we would ourselves become rich, snobby Petpets, and prove ourselves superior to all other Petpets. I, of course, felt no need to prove my superiority.

But of course, all of that stuff was completely untrue. I only had two siblings when I was young, and my parents were owned by a licensed Kadoatie breeder. But the whole "cardboard box thing" is the sort of story motif that really gets the attention of those squishy girly people (you know... the ones who squeal over things like Usuki). Unfortunately, that kind of wussy frilly crybaby stuff usually wins this sort of competition.

Ray tells me that we should have been looking for "happy" homes, with pets that would love us, because that's the kind of thing that would make other owners feel sorry for me. Really, Ray, get a life. This is MY story, I'm making it up as I please, and honestly, I think the only reason those squish-stories win the competitions is because the Neopets Staff still hasn't seen anything better.

Most of the rest of this story is true, I promise, because my life is so fantastic, I feel no need to make up silly nonsense to make people feel sorry for me.

When I was placed into the PetPet shop, I was not the last Kadoatie adopted. My first owner was not a Skeith who kept giving me hungry looks. I was not shuffled from owner to owner like an unlucky hand-me-down coat.

In fact, someone bought me pretty quickly and I soon found myself in the Trading Post. Ray made a "good-enough" offer, and presto, I was a Petpet on Ray's account. She decided to give me to her Shoyru, Khreet, but the little brat SCREAMED at me. What a pathetic baby. I leave little "presents" in her bed from time to time.

Ray decided to give me to Laouja. Laouja spoils me like I deserve, and I get the softest spot on her bed. My life is full of leisure and I have plenty of time to formulate my evil plans. I spend my free moments tormenting Khreet's horrid new petpet, a Peo, and whisking my tail in front of Sody's nose. I love teasing Sody, because he's a wretched Anubis and cannot understand the wonder that is me.

Interestingly enough, Sody has started to see things my way, at least where the Peo is concerned. That rotten little snitch think she's "oh so special" just because she's a Peo. What a vain little pipsqueak. I'm wondering how much her looks would improve in the fireplace... But winning over that prim-and-proper Anubis is a huge victory for my side. He'll be the first of my evil henchmen, when my plot to take over the ... *cough* Excuse me. *COUGH* *cough* *ahem* Hairball there. Sorry.

After some consideration, I think I shall let the Peo live. Every good Evil Kadoatie Mastermind needs a rival. It keeps us in top form.

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