My name is CH and I have been abducted by this family. I was happily living in my little forest glade, harassing travellers, eating trash, you know, gnome stuff, when they barged in. Said they'd gotten some complaints (the owner gesturing to some cartoonishly large bags of coins tied to her backpack), picked me up whimsical mushroom house and all.
They brought me to their house on the Space Station, which was a long and uncomfortable trip for a cheerfully forest dwelling creature of weak constitution as I, and dragged me inside against my will.
I noticed that, despite the size of the house, it was largely empty, aside from the main hallway's sumptuous furnishings. They carried me through several long, winding corridors with black and white marble floors, leading me up lengthy and exhausting spiral staircases, until we reached yet another sparsely furnished bedroom.
This is your bedroom!" the small, chubby blonde owner proclaimed. She sounded proud.
Then the family left me alone, to my astonishment. Surely I wasn't supposed to just...live there...
Legally now, I can't leave unless my new owner abandons me. The paperwork is all official. Trust me, I've checked. (there is not a 't' uncrossed, nor an 'i' undotted)
I've done all I can to frustrate and annoy these pets and their impossible owner, and so far nothing has worked. I replaced all of the food in the refrigerator with garlic and they ATE IT. Set the toilets permanently ablaze. They have accepted burn scars as a fact of life now. Cursed the main entrance with a perpetually foul odor to drive away detective agency customers, and they TURNED THE HOUSE AROUND. Entirely. Around.
Clearly there is some sort of magical presence here stronger than that of a simple gnome. But I will thwart it if I do so with my dying breath.