Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 81,826,882 Issue: 157 | 10th day of Gathering, Y6
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50 Secret Avatars that will Never be Released: Part One


by harper_1618

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Also by pseudo
NEOBOARDS - There are already enough secret avatars in Neopia to make your head spin and we all wish a few of them were just a teensy bit easier to get. Thus we bring you 50 Secret Avatars that will never be released... but pretend for a moment that they were released...

50) The ‘Nobody Likes Me’ Avatar: Ever wonder why so many guilds only have one member? It’s because they are trying to get this secret avatar.

49) The ‘n00b’ Avatar: Awarded to those who show exemplary n00bish behavior in the chat boards. Unfortunately it’s not the type of avatar you really want to show off.

48) The ‘Traumatized’ Avatar: This avatar will magically appear if you take your poor Neopet to the secret laboratory one too many times and they happen to change gender.

47) The ‘Flash Dummy’ Avatar: Be part of the 98% of Neopians who are really, really bad at flash games - and proud of it!

46) The ‘Good Friends’ Avatar: Whoever can convince Illusion and Jhudora to become everlasting friends will be granted this avatar.

45) The ‘Regurgitated’ Avatar: Wait, what’s this? I thought Turmaculus ate that petpet last week!

44) The ‘I pwned Stoneman3x’ Avatar: The rarest and most sought after avatar of them all. Just to get more Neopian Times entries than Stone means you really deserve this one.

43) The ‘I Caught it from the Wheel’ Avatar: Spinning the wheels too much may be hazardous to your pet’s health. At least this avatar will console you as you wait patiently for the Healing Springs to heal your pet.

42) The ‘Defeated’ Avatar: For those who have never once won a challenge at the Battledome. Also comes with a codestone or dubloon of your choice to help train your poor, battered pet.

41) The ‘On Holiday’ Avatar: This little avatar is quite easy to get. All you have to do is not log on to Neopets for over a year. In fact, 50% of Neopians probably already have it, but don’t know it yet.

40) The ‘Cheap’ Avatar: What is the matter with you? You’re actually cruel enough to leave your pets in the Cockroach Towers Hotel for 28 days straight? Shame on you!

39) The ‘Omelette Champion’ Avatar: For feeding your pet nothing but Omelette, day after day after day... until it goes insane.

38) The ‘Bad Artist’ Avatar: Your artistic skills must REALLY be bad if you have this avatar. How many times have you entered the Beauty Contest and lost?

37) The ‘Rejected’ Avatar: Apparently you’re not witty or funny enough to get your caption chosen, but maybe this avatar will console you.

36) The ‘Spoiled’ Avatar: No, no, no. This isn’t an avatar that you get when you treat your pets well. You get this avatar when you have 50 rotten or spoiled items in your inventory.

35) The ‘I got Bored and Gave up’ Avatar: Punchbag Bob was a little too much to handle with just a basic lightening beam and a few snowballs. Tsk.

34) The ‘Red X’ Avatar: Revenge on those annoying little red x's!

33) The ‘Not Granted’ Avatar: Well, there’s a reason they call it the ‘wishing’ well. For the first time people are frustrated when they actually get their wish fulfilled!

32) The ‘Chain Letter’ Avatar: Just send this to 10 of your friends and you’ll have good luck for the rest of your life. Coincidentally, most people get this avatar just before they get the ‘Account Frozen’ Avatar!

31) The ‘Get it yourself’ Avatar: What’s with all these crazy faeries and Neopets going around asking you to fetch things for them? Are their legs broken? For everyone who has ever refused a quest.

30) The ‘Rename me!’ Avatar: You’ve saved one adorable pet from the pound, but that rather unfortunate string of numbers just doesn't seem to fit their personality.

29) The ‘No Personality’ Avatar: Shame on you for leaving your pet description blank!

28) The ‘Gullible’ Avatar: Fall for one of those silly gimmicks that tell you to post a message 10 times in the Neoboards for a ‘special’ reward? Show all your friends just how gullible you are with this shiny new avatar!

27) The ‘Neopets is my Life’ Avatar: For people who stay online for 32 consecutive hours.

26) The ‘Recluse’ Avatar: For people who have no Neofriends. I’m guessing you probably need a hug.

25) The ‘Gross’ Avatar: Be a lucky winner of some gross food at Tombola and you’ll find this avatar along with it.

That concludes Part One of our article. Look for the remaining “25 Avatars that will never be Released” in an upcoming edition of the Neopian Times. Until then, farewell and happy avatar hunting (for the REAL ones, that is).

Note: Taking anything said in this article seriously is probably not wise. It’s all just fun and games.

 
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