A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 81,826,882 Issue: 155 | 27th day of Hiding, Y6
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Faeries and Teeth

by shawnagal


FAERIELAND - Neopia city, the hot sun is glowing on your skin as a sweet breeze sends the smell of honeysuckle in the air. Walking along you look through all the shops and daydream, content and pleased with your entire surrounding. Then suddenly out of thin air a faerie appears with a sparkling wand and a small coin purse. She taps your mouth and states, “I shall give you 200 NPs for your tooth!” Then she vanishes just as rapidly as she materialized, leaving you with a missing front tooth.

The Tooth Faerie. Questionably one of the most unseen Faeries in Neopia. Rarely ever viewed, this faerie appears only to take unwanted, and “supposedly” discarded teeth. But this Neopian dares to ask, who is this Faerie? Why does she collect teeth? And where does she get all this money to just hand out? Many have come to question the Tooth Faerie and what her true motives are (I mean come on, she likes Teeth). This reporter has come to the conclusion that the Tooth Faerie is more than she appears, and hopefully you’ll agree.

First one must look at the Tooth Faerie to figure out who she is. The collectable cards describe her as such… The Tooth Faerie is a unique type of Faerie. She spends her days whizzing around Neopia giving people Neopoints when they lose their teeth… So the big questions are who is she, and where does she come from. One-way to decipher this is by reading Tooth Faerie Book, available at the Neopian bookstore or a local merchant. But if you do not wish to waste your Neopoints on such a book then perhaps I can do a small layout for you.

We can assume that the Tooth Faerie lives in Faerieland, where we are not certain. I myself believe that she lives in that pink looking cave by the Faerie Cloud Racers. It seems a suitable place for a faerie to live and if she does not I have no worries. Perhaps in this cave structure is where she keeps all the hidden teeth that are never missed. This cave is quite large and seems an appropriate place for keeping teeth.

Another thing one must question is the Tooth Faeries motives. Why in heavens name does a faerie fly around collecting teeth? Honestly it seems a job that few would want. Many know that mouths are not very clean, so why does she do it? This reporter has accumulated some theories that many might be wondering about themselves.

Theories of the Faerie:

Theory one: The Tooth Faerie is a collector of teeth for some dire and wicked scheme. Just like the Dark Faerie gives you something for her quests the Tooth Faerie gives you something for your teeth, but perhaps at too high of a cost. So at night, the faerie roams the streets, stealing every tooth she can, and then finally returning to her hideout. By day the faerie works hard to create a castle made entirely of teeth. Though this castle might seem tame it is not what it appears, for in this castle are cruel and evil torture chambers made also of extracted molars. Through methods of extreme afflicting pain the Tooth Faerie learns all she can to plot against all other faeries. Sooner or later the Tooth Faerie hopes to dethrone Fyora and rule over Faerieland, and one day all of Neopia.

Theory Two: The Tooth faerie is nothing more than a freak who seems to have a fetish for teeth. After she has collected all these teeth she takes them back to her home and fills every room with them, even the swimming pool. She then spends her leisurely days swimming about in her sea of teeth, picking out her favorites and also naming each and everyone. If you were to ask her why she loves teeth so much she might explain that, “They tell me secrets and talk to me. I can know everything from a tooth, it was inside your mouth you know.” Perhaps with this type of statement Neopia should look into a psychiatric ward for the insane faerie.

Theory Three: The Tooth Faerie is from a long and respectable family of craft makers. As soon as she has teeth she spends her time making anything and everything one can think of. Many of the finest faeries from around the kingdom come to buy her amazing works of craftsmanship. Anything you wish to be made she can make it, from jewelry to four-poster beds and even hand carved teeth of intricate design. (Now I don’t know about you but the thought of someone using my teeth for decoration or sleeping on a bed made from my molars is a little odd and a bit gross.)

Theory Four: The Tooth Faerie is just who she says she is, a faerie made to collect teeth. Seemingly this unfortunate faerie was given this terrible job by Fyora, mostly because the queen didn’t know what else to do with her. So this poor faerie has to fly around wasting her time to find people with missing teeth. As she has been stated to say, “I don’t keep the teeth, as soon as I take them I put them in my bag and they turn into money, so that’s what I give to you. Some teeth are worth more and some are worth less. It’s a pain in my neck if you ask me, I barely get paid enough to buy anything, and if you ask me I need a new job.” It is perhaps tragic and one must feel a bit sorry for a poor faerie who spends all her time with cavities, gum disease, and plaque.

And so the mystery of the Tooth Faerie continues on. Perhaps she is what she claims to be and perhaps not. The mystery may perhaps continue to baffle the masses. This reporter feels that maybe the Tooth Faerie will one day be figured out, until then we may never know what she truly is.

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