Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 152 | 8th day of Hiding, Y6
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

100 Reasons Why We Love Snowflake


by ridergirl333

--------

Also by blubblub317... who smells.

NEOPIA CENTRAL - The Neopian Times is an amazing place where artists and authors can showcase their talents and creativity to the other users of Neopia. It brings happiness and joy to those who read it and to those who participate in it. But what about the person who creates it behind the scenes? Well, we can’t forget her, can we? Nope, we just can’t forget the lovely editor of the Neopian Times, Snowflake! Rider and I, Blub, are absolutely fanatics about Snowflake! We adore her in ever single away (okay, maybe not that much)! She’s a wonderful editor that deserves to be in the spotlight more often. So, we’ve decided to create a sort of tribute to our one and only editor, Snowflake! We’ve listed tons of reasons of why we love her, and we’re sure that you’ll agree with many of them. Enjoy!

1) She has a giant army of chatspeak-eating robots that mercilessly devour stories containing chatspeak.

2) She has a dress that's sparkly. Oooooh, shiny objects...

3) She works her tail off to keep the Times running.

4) Contrary to popular belief, she does NOT have a tail.

5) She likes cheese. Do you like cheese? I like cheese.

6) She puts up with insane psychobabble like ours every day.

7) She’s an extremely pretty editor.

8) It’s our job to love her!

9) She is one of the few who can handle the Weewoos AND the Meepits!

10) She sits in her dung office for hours and days just to make people happy.

11) She knows what’s best for the rest of the staff members! =shifty eyes=

12) She has three different names (nicknames) that will suit everyone: Felicia, Feli, and of course, Snowflake!

13) Her name is Snowflake! What else can I say?

14) She somehow manages to keep that little insane part of her in the back of her brain.

15) She never melts.

16) She makes a killer choco-banana-yellow growth pie.

17) She's secretly in love with the Tombola man. Shhhh...

18) She has never tried to hug a temperamental Lupe.

19) She hates the rules and submission form, just like we do!

20) She always looks like a shampoo commercial.

21) She has never eaten Weewoo dumplings. (Yes Blub, that last one was directed at you.)

22) She has somehow managed to not need glasses (wait a minute…=thinks of contact lenses=).

23) She’s at that ripe age of 23!

24) She got the job of Neopian Times editor!

25) She chats with us fellow writers!

26) Any questions that you have, she’ll stick them in your mouth and walk away (just kidding)!

27) Any questions that you have, she’ll politely answer them and always give you a kind hand.

28) Her chair hasn’t broken from the infinite usage (I think…).

29) Or maybe it has…EITHER WE WAY, WE STILL LOVE YOU SNOWFLAKE!

30) Hopefully, that’s the age where she’ll still be working as an editor for the Times!

31) She somehow manages to get 15-year olds to work at the Neopets office (don’t ask).

32) She loves cats. And who doesn't love cats?

33) Dog-lovers, that's who.

34) Rider's just filling up space here.

35) And here.

36) She isn't a pastrami.

37) What is a pastrami?

38) She also isn't a badger.

39) We can bother her as much as we like! Bother! Bother! Bother! Bother!

40) She knows not to trust us with explodables.

41) Uh--I don’t know…

42) Another thing we love about Snowflake, she’ll wipe the confusion away from our blank minds!

43) My mind’s blank right now…

44) SNOWFLAKE! HELP!

45) She has TONS of connections with people and pets!

46) She sends mysterious e-mails to particular writers…

47) About a certain Ruki…

48) She’s always chilled out.

49) Why wouldn’t she be? She’s always in an icy, cold dress!

50) We’ve reached 50 reasons!

51) She isn’t Chet Flash.

52) Or is she?

53) She knows that –blocked- is just a figment of our imaginations.

54) Or does she?

55) She doesn’t try to wear Illusen’s half-dress.

56) Not that she couldn’t…

57) She likes kids.

58) With barbeque sauce.

59) (Just kidding.)

60) She bothers to read articles like these.

61) Then publish them.

62) She doesn’t giggle when she reads the name Blubbeh or Blubbington.

63) =gulps= Or maybe she does…

64) She doesn’t laugh when she hears the name Ridergirl, the Meepit Queen!

65) … Or maybe she does.

66) I love stealing Blub’s ideas.

67) She brought Weewoos to her we--woo master!

68) She’s on one of the most spiffiest custom pictures that I’ve ever seen!

69) She finds the Neopian Times, and the writers fascinating.

70) Oh my gosh, she’s fascinated by us! What an honour!

71) She’s not afraid to place little iron balls around the assistants’ legs that are attached to unbreakable chains!

72) Honestly, she thought up of the name Snowflake! It’s so much more original than Mr. Insane, or…or Viola, or Poptart!

73) She accepts stories/comics/articles about…feces…

74) She’s the leader of one of the biggest Meepit armies your eyes will ever lay on!

75) With the exception of Rider’s.

76) She carries sympathy for ugly chicken dudes…

77) Those eyes…those hypnotic eyes…

78) Advice columns are her thing!

79) She publishes the same authors over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again! And we love her for that!

80) Blub’s just saying that ‘cause he’s sending in 7 things at once.

81) She follows the fashion advice of my favorite striped Shoyru.

82) She like the color white.

83) She doesn’t want to take over Neopia with a Doomsday device.

84) Erm… you don’t, do you Snowflake?

85) She helps really confused people like us.

86) ReallyConfused! I made a pun!

87) She probably laughed at that lame thing, too…

88) Did she?

89) She helps my ever-dwindling self-confidence.

90) And she likes goats.

91) Actually, I don’t know whether she likes goats.

92) I’m just writing down reasons so I can write more reasons than Blubby.

93) Meep?

94) WE

95) LOVE

96) YOU

97) TO

98) DEATH

99) SNOWFLAKE!!!

100) (Yeah, we’re just a bunch of miserable suck-ups.)

Well, that concludes it! 100 reasons why Snowflake is the best Neopian Times editor in the world! WE LOVE YOU SNOWFLAKE! (Now will you publish us? Yes, I know my humor flopped, but you’ll publish it anyway, right? Right? *watches article get thrown into the garbage, where it is eaten by a rogue Yurble* Never mind…)

This is Rider and Blub, signing out! Asta la Vernax, baby!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Week 152 Related Links



---------

The Timegate
A string of tension ran through the kingdom, pulled so taut that if you plucked it, you expected it to hear ping.

by ridergirl333

---------

The Mystery of the Stolen Gem: Part One
The world was dull and steely gray, like it was enshrouded in a silver veil. Winds shrieked, ripping and tearing at the trees. Leaves were scattered all over the sidewalk, being swept helter-skelter by the gale.

by ridergirl333

---------

Zapped: Stats
The feeling itself was so incredible! Rayd had never felt happier in his life, as he flew through the daytime sky, and gazed down upon the land of Neopia.

by blubblub317

---------

Statues Of Kings and Evil Faeries Are Definite No-No's In Roo Island: Part One
"Ah," King Roo began, "but it is. You deserve it for the extravagant meal you prepared me. And since it is Roo Island Day, I'm feeling a little generous."

by blubblub317



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.