Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 152 | 8th day of Hiding, Y6
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The Slorg Named Speedy

by playmobil_is_my_life


It was the twenty-fifth day of the month of Hiding when Tweetie, my starry Pteri, was flying down Scenic Drive in Meridell.

Today was a great day. Not because of the clear blue sky, or the gentle breeze, but because it was Tweetie’s seventh birthday. He turned around to see me far behind. I came sauntering over to him with a smile on my face.

“Hurry up, Sam!” Tweetie called, zooming off again.

“What’s the rush?” I teased.

I had three other Neopets, and each year when a birthday came around, I bought the Neopet a gift of his or her choice. This year for his birthday, Tweetie wanted a different kind of gift. He wanted something that he could play with, talk to, and take care of.

This year he wanted a petpet.

Tweetie had never owned a petpet before. I always said that he was too young and not responsible enough to care for one. Since Tweetie was the youngest sibling, I always told him, “Maybe next year”… but no more of that. I promised Tweetie we would visit the petpet shop today.

Since we lived in Meridell, the only petpet shop here was called “Ye Olde Petpets”. We were coming up to King Skarl’s Castle and the petpet shop was just before that.Tweetie landed swiftly in front of the corral. Ten little petpets looked up at him with anxious eyes.

Tweetie reached his starry wing into the corral to pet a Whinny and a Mortog. “I wish I could have all of them,” Tweetie told me when I caught up to him.

“May I help you?” A blue Ixi who owned the shop asked.

“I’m looking to buy a petpet,” said Tweetie, “how much is this Mortog?”

“Fifty thousand.”

Tweetie quickly put the Mortog down as I winced. I hoped that this wasn’t going to cost too much. Tweetie picked up a Dragoyle and asked, “How much for this one?”

“Sixty thousand.” “Do you have any cheaper ones?” I inquired, hopefully.

“Sure,” said the Ixi. She picked up a Karren, “This one’s only five thousand.”

“My sister has a Karren,” said Tweetie, “I want something different.”

“Ah,” said the Ixi, as a Crokabek stepped onto Tweetie’s wing, “That Crokabek is only nine thousand.”

“But my brother has a Crokabek,” Tweetie frowned. This was going to be harder than he thought. Which one should he choose? His eyes scanned the petpets and they stopped when he got to a petpet in the back, fast asleep.

“What’s that one?” Tweetie asked.

“This one?” said the Ixi, pointing to the petpet. Tweetie nodded. The Ixi gently tried to lift the petpet, but it seemed to be stuck to the ground. The Ixi gritted her teeth and tugged a little harder, but the petpet didn’t budge.

“Is that a Slorg?” I asked.

“Indeed it is,” said the Ixi. She endeavored to lift the Slorg for the third time, but it was stuck to the ground like a suction cup. Or maybe it wasn’t stuck. Maybe it didn’t want to wake up. But the Slorg finally opened a bleary eye and made this gurgling sound. The Ixi grinned embarrassedly and said, “Come on buddy, up and at ‘em!”

“Can I try?” Tweetie asked. The Ixi stepped back and Tweetie’s wings closed around the Slorg’s body. The Slorg looked up at him with wide eyes. Tweetie tugged a little, and with a pop the Slorg let go of the ground.

The Ixi’s face turned redder than a tomato. “Well…” she began, “I loosened him.” But Tweetie wasn’t listening. He and the Slorg had already formed a bond. Even though the Slorg was so slimy, Tweetie didn’t mind. The Slorg crawled right up on Tweetie’s feathery head and fell asleep again, leaving slime marks all over his shoulders and head.

“Hey, I really like this one…” Tweetie exclaimed.

“It’s not a Meridell petpet, is it?” I asked.

“Got that one from Neopia Central,” said the Ixi, her complexion returning to normal, “Nobody wanted him there, so they sent him to us.”

“Tweetie,” I glanced down to look my Pteri in the eyes, “Is this the petpet that you want?”

Without hesitating, Tweetie nodded.

“How much?”

“Three thousand neopoints.”

“Done deal,” said Tweetie. He turned to me, “Right?”

“Right,” I echoed. I paid the neopoints for the Slorg then we walked home. Tweetie seemed happy, though I was a little unsure about something so slimy crawling through the house. The Slorg moved slowly down to Tweetie’s wing and Tweetie held him for a moment.

“So, what are you going to name him?” I asked.

Tweetie held him out at wings-length to examine him. His eyes were a little lopsided and his mouth opened then shut.

“I’ll call him Speedy.”

I wanted to laugh out loud, but I first glanced sideways at Tweetie. He was serious. He was really going to call a Slorg Speedy.

“That’s…that’s a great name for him,” I said, uncertain. I didn’t know at the moment why Tweetie had picked such an… interesting name for a Slorg, but I just shrugged and decided to go with it.


When we got home that afternoon, a chorus of “Whadya get? Whadya get?” echoed through the house. Tweetie smiled at his brother and sisters as he showed them Speedy.

“What is it?” asked TigerWing, the purple Pteri.

“A Slorg.”

“What’s his name?” asked Cali, the fire-colored Wocky.


“Why’d you name him that for?” asked Wiseguy, the glowing Wocky.

“Because he is Speedy,” said Tweetie, “for a Slorg.”

“Okay everyone,” I called over the noise, “let Tweetie take Speedy to his room and give him some space.”

“It doesn’t look like any of our petpets,” mumbled Cali. “And it sure is slimy.” I pulled her aside and said, “Speedy is what your brother wanted. Give him a chance. We’ll all get used to it, okay?”

“But what if it scares Moochie?” Moochie was Cali’s Karren. It scared easily.

“You can keep Moochie in your bedroom, okay? I promise everything is going to work out.”


That night, Tweetie was lying on his bed, watching Speedy crawl up the wall. He smiled up at him, glad that he finally had a petpet of his own. Tweetie shut his bedroom door and said to Speedy, “You can stay in my room from now on. Goodnight, Speedy.”

Speedy made that gurgling noise again just as Tweetie flipped off the lights. Speedy had chosen to sleep stuck to the ceiling. Tweetie pulled the sheets to his chin and yawned. Both of them had dozed off when I came in to tuck them in.


Tweetie woke the next morning and looked up at the ceiling. Speedy had left a massive slime trail where he was once asleep. The trail continued down the wall. “Speedy?” Tweetie got up and bent to check under the bed. “Here, Speedy! Where are you?”

Frowning, he checked the carpet. A faint slime trail was headed across the floor. Tweetie followed it. He stopped when his head hit the door… that meant that Speedy had squeezed under the door. Then…Speedy was loose in the Neohome! Tweetie knew he had to find his petpet, before Sam got mad. He didn’t need to look very far, because...


Tweetie flew down the stairs, thinking that this probably had something to do with Speedy. The scream had come from TigerWing’s room. Tweetie found the purple Pteri in the doorway, still shrieking.

“What’s the matter?” Wiseguy appeared next to Tweetie.

“That…thing…” TigerWing hissed, “is on my bed!” Tweetie pushed past her into the bedroom. And sure enough, Speedy was curled up, asleep, on the foot of TigerWing’s bed.



“Stop yelling! Everyone just be quiet!” Wiseguy attempted to shush everyone, waving his glowing paws, “You’ll wake--”

“What’s going on?” I finally made my way down the stairs to find three of my Neopets in some sort of argument.

“Tweetie let that thing sleep on my bed!”

“I did not, he got loose!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, rubbing sleep from my eyes, “everyone just take a chill pill. What’s going on?”

“Speedy slipped under my door last night,” Tweetie explained, “And he ended up in TigerWing’s room.”

“On my bed,” TigerWing said, “And now there’s slime all over it!” Without warning, she started to cry, and I tried to pacify her and tell her that it would wash out.

“Tweetie, you’re going to have to keep better…” I paused, “supervision on Speedy, okay? We certainly don’t want him escaping again!”

“Don’t worry,” said Tweetie, “I will.”


So Tweetie apologized to TigerWing and everything was peaceful again.


Speedy had been a good Slorg all day. He stayed in Tweetie’s room in the same spot, staring at the wall. Tweetie didn’t care that Speedy didn’t take interest in too many things.

As Tweetie climbed into bed, Speedy didn’t move from his spot, though he did look very tired.

“Speedy,” called Tweetie, “do you want to sleep at the foot of my bed?” Speedy didn’t make a move.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Tweetie turned his head to look at Speedy; “You’re going to stay in this room tonight, right?”

Speedy made a ghastly moaning noise.

Tweetie smiled, “I’ll take that as a yes.”


The next morning, Tweetie woke and checked on Speedy, but he was nowhere to be seen. Feeling panicked, Tweetie checked in all of the usual places.

“Oh please, Speedy,” Tweetie thought, “Where are you this time?” He pushed open the door and started to search the house. Fortunately, the slime trail by Wiseguy’s door lead Tweetie to his petpet. Speedy was crawling off the side of Wiseguy’s bed. But that wasn’t the worse part.

Wiseguy loved to read, and sometimes, he left his books out. And all over two pages of Deep Sea Explorations were green slime.

Tweetie gasped, “Speedy!” he whispered, “what have you done?”

Wiseguy stirred in his Regal Oak Wood Bed, his glowing body illuminating the sheets and pillow. Tweetie crept to the foot of the bed to retrieve Speedy, but Cawkins, (Wiseguy’s Crokabek) starting cawing like mad.

Tweetie winced and Wiseguy’s eyes opened. He saw Tweetie holding Speedy. His eyes shifted to the floor and his saw his favorite book, covered in Speedy’s slime. His jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes narrowed in anger. Before Wiseguy could say anything, Tweetie zipped out of there holding Speedy. They disappeared into Tweetie’s room and slammed the door. Tweetie sat at the edge of his bed, and held Speedy at wings-length.

“Oh, Speedy…” he mumbled soberly, “why do you have to cause so much trouble?” Speedy’s eyes glowed purple in response.


Tweetie heard Wiseguy screaming all morning. His favorite book was destroyed and Speedy only made it worse by crawling all over his bed as well. Tweetie apologized to Wiseguy, and Wiseguy wasn’t as upset.

There was a knock on Tweetie’s door.

“Come in,” Tweetie mumbled.

Cali, the fire Wocky entered with a big grin plastered on her face. She stood in the doorway for a while until Tweetie noticed her.

“What are you so happy about?” he asked.

“I found the solution.” Tweetie looked up, “To what?”

“To why Speedy’s been escaping.”

Intrigued, Tweetie crawled off his bed and Cali sat next to him on the floor. “Well, Speedy’s already been in Wiseguy’s room and TigerWing’s room. I had a feeling that he’d show up in my room next, so I took action.” Cali stared at Tweetie intently and whispered, “I did a spot of investigating. Every time Speedy showed up in a room, he went for some place to sleep. Tweetie, I think Speedy wants his own bed.”

“But…but…” Tweetie stuttered, “He can sleep on my bed.”

“No, he doesn’t want your bed,” Cali said, matter-of-factly. “He wants a petpet bed.”

“That’s why he kept escaping?”

“I think so. Try this one,” Cali produced a Green Petpet Bed from out in the hallway. “It was Moochie’s but he doesn’t use it, anyway.” Tweetie thanked her, and then asked if Wiseguy was still mad at Speedy.

“No, he’s not mad anymore,” said Cali, “Sam promised that she’d buy him a new copy.” She set the petpet bed down where Speedy liked to lay.

Speedy went right for it. His eyes bulged and he smiled. Very, very sluggishly he slid towards the bed. A few minutes later, he was a good two feet away, so Tweetie ended up picking up the Slorg and placing him in his own bed. Speedy crawled up into a ball and fell fast asleep.

“Wow!” exclaimed Tweetie, “I can’t believe that’s what he wanted all along.”


So the Slorg problem was solved and my four Neopets were happy again. Now I look back on those escapes by Speedy every now-and-then and then it occurred to me why Tweetie had named his Slorg Speedy.

Speedy had somehow managed to make it from all the way upstairs to all the way downstairs when it was dark. I guessed he really was speedy… for a Slorg, anyway.

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