Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 150 | 23rd day of Swimming, Y6
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

100 Ways To See If You Are NOT Addicted To The NT


by articuno_neo

--------

Note: The 100 reasons are not real. Read at your own risk, don’t blame me if you get bitten by Addicted NT Fans.

Sometimes, people are addicted (like me) to something, like building a gallery or reading the Neopian Times. But there are people who just turn their face out of disgust from one particular thing. If it is THAT bad, but I sure hope it’s not.

This article will ‘test’ you, and see if you are not addicted! Good luck is all I have to say. I think…

1. You have no idea what NT means.

2. You don't read further after this reason.

3. You never heard of the "Editorial".

4. Spherical Cherry’s are just normal cherries to you.

5. You only look in the Neopian Times if you sent something in.

6. You can't think of something else to add to this list.

7. You didn't even read this list.

8. You laugh when you step on a snowflake. :(

9. The word "Lupologist" means nothing to you.

10. You don't get half of the jokes in the Comics section because they're all NT-related.

11. You have no idea who Snowflake actually is.

12. You make a parody of Simsman's article.

13: You never found Issue 100 to be a big deal.

14: You never dashed to get something in for issue 100.

15: Even for a Starry Paint Brush.

16: You don't know why Child_dragon says she's an all-elemental.

17. When it snows, you catch a snowflake, take it home, and melt it.

18. You make up excuses for not reading the NT.

19. You've blocked the URL of the NT from your computer.

20. You've threatened three or more NT authors.

21. You've started a forum dedicated to the hate of the NT.

22. You've sent articles to three of more local/state newspapers that say how much better they are compared to the NT.

23. The only thing that comes to mind when you hear "Mr. Pickles" is a pickle man.

24. You think Sloth is an animal that moves very very slowly.

25. Stoneman is a bluegrass family group.

26. You've never heard of the Ixi of Doom.

27. Or the Sheep of Doom for that matter.

28. In fact, you've never heard of any Neopet that has appeared in the Times.

29. You wonder why people are constantly saying 'Meep!'

30. You wonder why they don't just say 'sheep' instead of 'Babaa.'

31. Neopia isn't even a city nearby to you.

32. Super villains don't scare you.

33. You wonder why all these things can talk.

34. Your best friend's name doesn't involve underscores or numbers.

35. You never heard of the NTWF.

36. You don't know what a story/article/comic collaboration is.

37. You would not be able to name a NT author even if their names were right on your monitor.

38. You don't know how to pronounce Patjade.

39. When people say "The new NT has some exciting new stuff that everyone would want to read!" You don't jump out of your chair to go read it.

40: Really Confused is a condition someone suffers, not the name of a pet.

41: Krawk is usually followed by the words "of stone..." but you restricted yourself from saying Stonekrawk.

42: You think "The Golden Juppie" is a regular fruit that Neopets eat on Neopets.

43: You're not facing the screen of Neopets or any Neopet related site, and you haven't for months.

44. You spam people who did a crossover with "OMG!! HE/SHE STOLE YOUR COMIC!"

45. You are happy when the NT is late. :O

46. You are sad when the NT is out on Friday.

47. When the NT comes out you wait for the next new features to come out because you don’t want to see the NT.

48. You actually do some of these things.

49. You don't even NOTICE the NT is late.

50. You wonder what the heck 'Piffle' means.

51. And why everyone keeps saying it.

52. You don't play the Tombola, for the chance of getting an old 'Neopian Times' issue from it.

53. You wonder why so many people feel sympathetic towards Dr_Death

54. You think that Mr. Pickles is a character made by a pickle company.

55. You think the Ixi Of Doom is the name of a carnival ride.

56. You think that Dr. Death is related to Dr. Evil.

57. You think that every NT series should end with the premature death of the protagonist.

58. You block yourself from sending any e-mail to neopiantimes@neopets.com.

59. Fluffy is just an ordinary cat name.

60. You think Kiddo refers to a kid.

61. Getting Past the Snowager is just something pets (and owners too) try to do in order to steal treasure.

62. When Lugia is just the name of a monster, and not a NT comic-writer.

63. If you don't submit anything to the editorial.

64. When Giving only means what it says in the dictionary and isn't the name of an Ixi.

65. You think putting 'Neo' in front of any kind of sport doesn't make sense to you.

66. You don't even know what a n00b is.

67. You don't even know what Chatspeak is even when you're using it.

68. You don’t care if a author leaves.

69. You only send hatemail to the NT.

70. You sell your printer because your siblings prints out Neopets Comics.

71. You also do this when they print out stories.

72. When a author writes a bad story you report him.

73. When a author writes a good story you report him

74. Wh3N Y0|_| D0n7 kn0w wh@7 for lan9u@9e th1$ 1s

75. You spam me asking “What the heck is that for stuff?”

76. You send an author hatemail for wasting their time writing/comic drawing.

77. You prevent your browser from viewing the Neopian Times issues.

78: You go on the NT just to copy another story.

79. You delete anything NT-related off the hard drive.

80. You block Neomail from NT authors.

81. When people tell you about the NT, you think they're talking about their Nose Troubles.

82.

83. When you didn't notice that the one above was blank.

84. You think NT is a version of Windows.

85. You take all the ink out of the library's printer so people can't print out stories.

86. You never read the New Features because it might link to the NT.

87. You get really annoyed when the front page has "The Neopian Times is out!" up on it for the whole week.

88. You wonder why the Neopets Team bothers to work so hard on getting this thing out every single week.

89. You don't realize that the whole Neopets Team doesn't work on getting the NT out.

90. You didn't open the Neopian Times. Thus, you didn't read this list.

91. Your least favorite item is the Neopian Times Issue 3.

92. You do not write stories about your Neopets.

93. You DO write stories about your Neopets, but do not know where you would submit them to the website.

94. You DO write stories about your Neopets, and you DO know where to submit them, but you hate the Neopian Times so much that you'd sooner spam the submission email with stories in Chatspeak.

95. You don't dare to click the Neopian Times link! I don't want to subscribe to your newspaper, thank you very much.

96. You've already broken your monitor from the torture of reading an article from the NT.

97. You have absolutely no idea what GLQ means.

97. You have no idea what 'Spiffy' means.

98. You think that Magnolia is just the name of a flower.

99. The only thing you read is the blocked link list of your browser.

100. When someone asks you if you've ever read something by LDF, you just stare and ask 'What's an LDF?'

We come to a end. The Light of the tunnel. At least for you… If you have agreed on about 5, you must like it. If you agree on 10-25, you are ‘meeeeeh’. If you agree on 26-50, you are really close to the danger zone. If you just agree on more than 51… Then I am sorry to say that you must not like it, or you are just cheating too get the “Not-so-fanish’ title because it is just so cool.

That was it. Neomail all your questions, fanmail, hatemail or Neomails saying I stole from Sims to Articuno_Neo. Thank you.

The End

Authors note: I would like too thank: Annette, Smiley, Sticky, Simsman24000, Ember, Lugia, Gentle_Lil_Queen, FallingBlue, Patjade, TennMagpie, Chesil, Nikko, The Angry Artist, Char

 
Search the Neopian Times







Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.