teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 150 | 23rd day of Swimming, Y6
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150 Uses for the Neopian Times

by playmobil_is_my_life


NEOPIAN TIMES - This week, the Neopian Times celebrates its 150th issue! YAY! =tosses everyone a party hat= To honor and respect this special occasion, I decided to write an article on what all you can do with your copy of the Neopian Times, hence the title of this article. I bet you thought the Neopian Times was just for reading, eh? Nope, there are tons more things that you can do with it. We have a lot of ideas to list, so without further ado, let's begin:

#150 Roll it up to swat those pesky Vernaxes.

#149 Paste it to your wall to use as a dart board.

#148 Use issues of the Neopian Times as wallpaper.

#147 Instead of buying an expensive Jazzmosis poster, draw your own on an old issue!

#146 Once you finally get into the Neopian Times, shred an issue and use it as confetti to celebrate.

#145 Make about a hundred of those "Don't waste paper" and "Save the Trees" posters to put about Neopia.

#144 Didn't get in to this week's issue? Use a copy as a bigger tissue.

#143 Shred an issue to make a papier mache white Weewoo.

#142 Roll up an issue and play Whack-A-Sibling! v #141 Tape a bunch of continued series and try to pass it off as a novel. Heh.

#140 Buy old issues and try to sell them as this week's.

#139 Tear up pieces and feed them to your Goldy.

#138 Use it as a fan on those super-humid days.

#137 An issue of the Neopian Times comes in handy when your Neopet is litter box-training its petpet.

#136 Make a paper hat to shield your face from the sun.

#135 Cut out letters to make ransoms notes: "i ToOk your FUzzLe, MeEt mE by THE… trEe"

#134 Tape an issue to your neohome window to keep the sun from warming the house.

#133 Glue your own pictures to the comics section to make it look like you're a real artist.

#132 Smear a bunch of white paint on the Neopian Times and reuse it as regular paper.

#131 Use an issue as a canvas to paint on.

#130 When you get published, frame it!

#129 Use it to wrap up leftovers before you put them in your Faerie Fridge.

#128 Fold up a sheet to use as a paper airplane.

#127 If for some reason your Wocky or other furry Neopets loose all of its fur, cut out strips from the Neopian Times to use as a replacement. *Do not get wet!

#126 You can use a copy of the Neopian Times as a flag for your new tree house!

#125 Cut out very long strips to use as blinds for your window.

#124 Ball up little bits and stuff your pillow with them.

#123 At Neoschool, put the comics section on the inside of your school book to make it only look like your doing Algebra.

#122 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Faerie Queen until she gives you a quest.

#121 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Light Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#120 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Fire Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#119 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Water Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#118 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Earth Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#117 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Air Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#116 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Dark Faerie until she gives you a quest.

#115 Give a copy to a Puppyblew so he'll chew on that instead of your new shoes.

#114 Cut out every word to make your own crossword puzzle.

#113 In the game Mootix Drop, lie the Neopian Times flat so Harry can land on that instead of the face of another petpet.

#112 Use the Neopian Times to line your trashcan to make it easier to clean up.

#111 Make a papier mache version of notorious Dr. Sloth, in hopes of being redeemed worthy enough for you to use his image on the Neoboards!

#110 Maybe instead of fighting with a sword, Jeran should consider a rolled up copy of the Neopian Times. I'm sure that would stop Kass.

#109 If it's raining, use it as an umbrella. It won't last too long, but what the heck.

#108 If you're hungry then… take a bite! It's non-toxic.

#107 Lay down sheets of the Neopian Times when you're baking cookies. The paper will absorb any excess oil.

#106 Tape a piece of the Neopian Times to a trophy to make it look like you won the "I read the Neopian Times" award.

#105 Even though this isn't an option, build your Neohome out of paper if you think cardboard is expensive.

#104 Color your own pictures to make Neopets Trading Cards.

#103 Who knows? If you collect all of the old Neopian Times issues maybe you'll get a new avatar someday.

#102 Draw little squares on an issue to reuse as a calendar.

#101 Cut the Neopian Times into shapes of Neopoints. Next, stick them on piece of cardboard. Maybe you can spend them and no one will notice…

#100 Use the Neopian Times to dry off with.

#99 Instead of covering your room with M*YNCI posters, cover it with the Neopian Times comics section instead.

#98 Cut a sheet into a square and cover it with red and black squares to make your own checkerboard!

#97 Cut out pictures from your favorite comics to make a collage.

#96 Use issues as napkins when you're finished.

#95 Tape pictures of comics in your textbook so you won't be bored during Neoschool.

#94 Fold it into a rectangle to use as an envelope, (add adhesive to make stamps).

#93 Tear old issues in pieces to make spitballs.

#92 Fold up parts of it to make triangular tents for petpets.

#90 Wrap a piece of the Neopian Times around a mug, to make your own 'Neopian Times Mug'.

#89 Cut a page into a diamond-shape to make a kite.

#88 If you are stranded in the middle of the Lost Desert and need to make a fire, use the Neopian Times for kindling.

#87 No wrapping paper? No problem! Wrap up holiday gifts with issues of the Neopian Times.

#86 If you're moving to a new Neohome, use the Neopian Times to wrap up any valuables to prevent them from breaking.

#88 Paste a few issues together to make a booster seat for smaller Neopets.

#87 Fold the Neopian Times into a cone-shape, making a megaphone to cheer on the Turdle racers!

#86 If you cover your Neohome floor with old issues, you will never need to sweep again!

#85 Play Whack-a-Kass with a rolled up issue. Bread is too tasty to whack Kass with, a stick will break too easily and a bat is too harsh…

#84 Go door to door and sell new issues to the Neopian Times for three times the price!

#83 Use the Neopian Times in the Battledome. SMACK!

#82 Make a paper sailboat and see how long it floats.

#81 Offer Sabre-X your oh-so-rare week 1 edition for the his entire Giant Omelette.

#80 Make a paper star for your Christmas tree.

#79 Save up all of your old issues in hopes of acquiring the Pack Rat avatar.

#78 Hit your sibling with it. It won't hurt him and it's a great way to relieve tension.

#77 Cut out the front page of a random issue of the 'Times to make your own "I love the NT" T-shirt.

#76 Make a paper mask to attempt to rob the Neopian Bank. (Okay… bad idea!)

#75 If you are lonely, draw yourself on the Neopian Times to use as your personal buddy.

#74 Disguise yourself by wrapping the Neopian Times around you when you play Tombola. Then take the paper off and you get to play Tombola twice in one day.

#73 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit Coltzan's Shrine.

#72 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but play the Wheel of Excitement.

#71 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Fruit Machine.

#70 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but play the Wheel of Mediocrity.

#69 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Giant Omelette.

#68 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Island Mystic.

#67 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Giant Jelly.

#66 Use copies of the NT to fill your Neopian Times paper rack.

#65 Use a strip as a blindfold in the game Kacheek Seek.

#64 If you're a Pea Chia, hide under an issue for Kacheek Seek.

#63 Start a new fad-paper furniture.

#62 Cover the Faerie Queen's head with the 'Times and quickly snatch up a Hidden Tower item. Careful, this could get you kicked out of Faerieland.

#61 Donate all of the issues you've already read to the Money Tree. At least you'll feel that you're helping the poverty problem in Neopia.

#60 Read the comics section for entertainment while waiting for the Wheel of Monotony to stop being so… monotonous.

#59 Make your own scratchcard. You win every time!

#58 Cut the Neopian Times into circle shapes to make fake Neocola tokens.

#57 Dye the Neopian Times yellow and sell it as a Dark Scroll.

#56 Paint over an issue to make your own gift tags.

#55 Cover all of your plants in your Neogarden during winter to prevent them from freezing.

#54 Lay down old issues to protect your floor when you're painting.

#53 Collect all of the issues and every single Neopian Times item to win the Gallery Spotlight.

#52 Want to get into a concert in Tyrannia? Make yourself a fake ticket. This is just about as risky as #62.

#51 The Neopian Times gives a petpet something to fetch.

#50 Use words from the Neopian Times to help you when you're playing Castle of Eliv Thade.

#49 Stuff up the Neopian Times to practice your aim for Ultimate Bullseye.

#48 Bring an issue and a pitiful face to Illusen if you fail one of her quests.

#47 Bring an issue and a Wooden Blocking Shield to Jhudora if you fail one of her quests, (the shield's for self defense).

#46 Toss an issue onto a bean bag chair to make your own Neopian Times Bean Bag.

#45 Read the short stories to your Neopets if you're too cheap to by them a book.

#44 Throw an issue at the Turmaculus if you can't get him to wake up.

#43 Throw an issue at Coltzan if all you hear is maniacal laughter in the distance.

#42 Use an issue as a placemat for messy Neopets.

#41 Whack a Staff Member with a newspaper instead of that mallet. They'll be much more grateful.

#40 If you just can't think of letters for Cliffhanger, use the Neopian Times for clues.

#39 Use the 'Times for hints on the Faerie Crossword.

#38 Instead of using bats for the game Meriball, give your opponent a rolled up issue of the Neopian Times to use. We all know who's going to win that match.

#37 Wrap food in an issue before heating it in an oven.

#36 Dry your Neopet's fur with it when he comes in out of the rain.

#35 Use it as a table cloth.

#34 Use it as a lampshade.

#33 Wrap an issue around a book to cover it.

#32 Stage a playful sword fight with your sibling.

#31 Draw your own coloring page.

#30 Kiss up to the Faerie Queen by drawing her a picture. Maybe she'll trade you one of her items for yours. This is highly unlikely.

#29 Use it as a petpet blanket. One size fits all!

#28 Make a paper mask so you fit in when you visit Mystery Island.

#27 If you play "rock, paper, scissors" use the Neopian Times for the "paper".

#26 Mika and Carissa throw their useless items at you, so why not throw an old copy of the NT at them?

#25 Throw an issue at the Snowager to make sure he's asleep before you take something.

#24 Use the 'Times when you're looking for words during Spell-or-Starve.

#23 Cut strips to use as streamers when you finally get accepted into the Neopian Times.

#22 Line your Crokabek's cage with old issues to make cleaning it easier.

#21 Use old issues to enhance a fire.

#20 Cut out all of the short stories to make a book.

#19 Wet an issue and use it as a washcloth.

#18 Tape a bunch of copies together to make a scratching post for your Kadoatie.

#17 Keep a ton of old issues in your inventory to make it harder for the Pant Devil to steal your bottled faerie.

#16 Put some sheets of the Neopian Times under a petpet's food and water bowls.

#15 Teach a Spardel how to fetch the morning paper. Then maybe he won't get such a bad rap intelligence-wise.

#14 Fold an issue into a cone-shape to wear as a party hat.

#13 Stack some issues together to make a petpet bed.

#12 Line the floor under a petpet bathtub with the NT to absorb any water that was splashed out during bath time.

#11 Cut out all of the editorials to use as a reference for whenever you have a random question.

#10 Draw a "please give me a quest" card and give to Fyora.

#9 Cover yourself in the Neopian Times and say that you're the "Ghost of the Neopian Times".

#8 Make a paper collar for your petpet.

#7 Use the Neopian Times as a back drop for a family caricature.

#6 Buy a "Neopian Quill" to use to write on the Neopian Times.

#5 Post a bunch of issues together to make a Neopian Times notebook.

#4 Carry the Neopian Times with you wherever you go to make you look smart.

#3 Stack issues together to use as a seat for your petpet when you're picnicking.

#2 Use the Neopian Times to stuff your Neopian Times pencil case. It will sure look like you have a lot of pencils.

#1 Read it.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Oh, and a special thanks goes to beewitched2 and lego91 for some help on this. Happy 150th edition everyone! ~Playmobil

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