Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 150 | 23rd day of Swimming, Y6
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by sharakh


KRAWK ISLAND - Ahoy, mateys! This be Friskitorius T. Gelert, gamblin' Gelert extraordinaire! Now, I'm sure you've read articles in the Times before about gambling in Neopia, but not a one of them ever covered the famed Friskitorius method of putting your Neopoints on the line. Follow my advice, and you'll be gaming like a pro in no time!

In this edition, I thought it best to start out in that place of purloined plunder, Krawk Island! Now, you may think some of my methods are under-handed, but let me tell you, the pirates would cheat you as soon as look at you. The dice are weighted! All my methods entail is simple justice -- the winnings are just a side benefit. Without further ado...

Bilge Dice

So you've sat down with Grimtooth, Deadeye and Monty the Mad, and you're rolling with the best of 'em. The dice may not like you, though. I know sometimes they cop an attitude with me! Follow these simple tips and you'll be fast on your way to rolling a 24 every time!

First, glare at your dice. A lot. Scold them and tell them to mend their ways. If they're still rolling twos and threes on you, drop a couple Neopoints on the floor by each of the pirates. Exclaim, "Oh no, I seem to have dropped some Neopoints," loudly. Then, when they're scrabbling on the floor grabbing your points, "roll" and change the dice to the ones you need! They're pirates, after all; you bet they won't turn down the chance to get a few more points in their purses.

Sure, it may get suspicious after a time or two... that's why I bring lots of Slime Ghostkersandwiches. Slippery paws just can't keep ahold of those Neopoints, you know!

Black Pawkeet Slots

After the treasure of the Black Pawkeet, eh? Well, this one's a lot harder to get. It requires some high betting and a lot of study. Bet the minimum for a while and listen to the voice that comes out of the machine when you win. It'll take a long time to learn the ones you need and to perfect the tone of voice. The one you're really looking for, though, is the one with the treasure chests.

Once you have this down, wait for an attendant to come near, set the machine to max bet, and growl (making sure they can't see your face), "Anchors aweigh, there's plunder to be pilfered!" Hit the machine a couple times irritably and call the attendant over. Explain that the slot machine didn't go to the treasure hunting part of the game and instead just spun randomly. Point out that you were spending a lot of Neopoints on the game, and that you'd lament taking your business to Brucey B's casino in the Lost Desert. (They hate that!) Pretty soon you'll be receiving a pretty big payout! Just try not to repeat the trick with the same attendant - you might end up in the Battledome!


Now, with Krawps, it's a matter of being very careful where you place your bet. You want to place your chips as close to the middle of the line as you can, so that when you roll something that will make you lose your bet (such as an even that isn't an 'Ardway), just say, "Oh, I was placing my bet on THIS one. Sorry!" You can't do this with all the bets, of course, but with a little ingenuity, you can make this strategy work for you.

Just as with Bilge Dice, here food can be a help... but instead of slippery food, try eating sticky things like Honey Coated Hot Dogs. This'll keep the Krawk guessing while you reap in the rewards!

Food Club

Now this is the easiest of all! After all, everyone has their allergies clearly listed in the hall. Take a careful look at the listings and the odds. Bet on the underdog of each match. Next, you might want to speak with the Flotsam Chef on Mystery Island to get some cooking tips, because you're hitting the kitchens!

Mix a bit of the particular allergenic food into each pirate's serving except the one you're betting on in each match. Get some waiter's clothes and join the others in serving these delicious treats up to the competitors, and try not to laugh too much. After the match, it's just a short trip to get your winnings (but make sure you take off the waiter's outfit first).

One thing - you might want to leave the hall right after getting your winnings. The Food Club champions are tough ol' pirates who might well be looking for that snickering waiter that served the food that gave him the Itchie-Scratchies!

Buried Treasure

So you want to pull the right slip out of the treasure map, do you? So do I! One try isn't very fair, though, when you have all those choices. Distraction and deception is the key here.

When you approach the Krawk with the Buried Treasure box, make sure to inform him politely that his shoe's untied, or warn him of the sudden Weewoo attack behind him. Then, when he's distracted, "accidentally" sweep your arm across the papers. Some are bound to fall out and reveal their bounty. Quickly pick up one that looks good. When the Krawk turns to see his box a mess, hand him the slip sheepishly and apologize. My response is normally something like, "Gee, I'm sorry... I was just so excited to be playing Buried Treasure again. It's the best game on Krawk Island!" Flattery gets him every time!


I've never been able to figure this one out. Msomari tells me it's not a game, but you put dubloons in, and then fewer dubloons come out. I don't know about you, but that sounds just like Black Pawkeet slots to me!

So there you have it, Neopians - Friskitorius's guide to gambling on Krawk Island. A bit under-handed, yes, a bit silly, but just remember those pirates would do the same thing to you! Using this handy guide, you'll come out on top!

Sharakh the Editor's Note: You'd best be glad I got to this before he submitted it. He originally wrote it all in pirate speak, and had listed ways to win at the "gambling" of Doubloon Disaster and Deckball, too. I had to leave the Dubloon-o-Matic bit in there, though. My Gelert is quite the doofus...

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