| teh 1337est n00zpaper |
Circulation: 81,826,882 |
Issue: 154 | 20th day of Hiding, Y6 |
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 Grumpy Old King
by kitty_catz_rule
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MERIDELL CASTLE - He sits and listens everyday to Neopians who want to tell jokes
to him. No wonder he is always grumpy and moody! I mean, having to sit there listening
to these Neopians who don't even have a clue what they are trying to say. Ghjsdfhjds?
Sahsajhaj! Tah-dah! We get the odd time where he will give you some Neopoints
for the effort but that’s when he might be feeling surprisingly nice.
So after his kingdom had been destroyed by the forces of Darigan, now what? Shouldn't
there be other things to do to make him happy besides telling jokes? Well, I was
just happening to be sitting on a nearby bench in Neopia Central, (me? sitting?
never!) and decided to think of some ideas that could have been used.
Things For Making King Skarl Happy:
1) How about putting on a dance show? You know, just get a bunch of his guards
together and start to boogy to some drums and trumpets. Yippie-do-rah! Ra-cha-ra-ra!
It would be fun and entertaining to watch the guards maybe slip a few times and
bang into one another. Even to get King Skarl HIMSELF to get on the dance floor
and well - shake it a few times! But, lets face it, even if it WAS entertaining
for this king, he wouldn't want to see it look like a fat Skeith had lived in
the castle after it was all over!
2) Having a food competition! You know, gather up a couple of Neopets and getting
them to stuff themselves crazy into pies, chocolate and leaving them feeling bloated
afterwards. Then getting Skarl to laugh at the chocolate they may have smeared
all over their faces and how stupid they look. Er -- but maybe for Skarl to watch
other Neopets eat delicious food and not him, might make that stomach of his rumble
in hunger. He might be the one winning his own food competition!
3) Singing anyone? Get some Neopians and make them sing their heart out. Even
if it is a bit squeaky, or maybe off pitch. I'm sure the king will smile even
if it was the worst singing he has ever heard. Pffft, your kidding right? He'll
snap his fingers at the first note you sing and get you tossed out by his guards.
Didn't you forget? He has a beautiful voice of his own that he can listen to anytime
he wants.
4) Putting on a play. Don't bother holding auditions, I'm sure everyone has a
part that they can play. Get a angry asparagus Chia and throw a couple of Neopets
dressed as trees in there. Then maybe use your imagination and think of how the
plot can go together. Just practice a couple of times and make it come out as
-- a total disaster? I am sure Skarl won't mind when he finds out his wardrobe
was used to be made into costumes...
5) Maybe a magic show? Putting on the old Snowbunny in the hat trick. I'm sure
he has never seen that before! What could possibly go wrong? Maybe the Snowbunny
hopping around all over the place, while everyone, even YOU, are trying to catch
it. If that always goes wrong, you can always do a card trick. Hey, what’s wrong
with cards?
6) How about making some potions? Even if you have no experience, you can always
pretend to know what your doing. And when there is a loud *BOOM*, you can always
covering it up by saying, "I meant to do that..."
7) Instead of a play with words, how about a play with NO words? Yes, how about
a mime act? I'm sure the king will be able to follow completely what you are doing.
Pretending as if your in a box, then your suddenly swimming in the Neopian waters,
oh wait now your -- getting kicked out by King Skarl's guards?
8) Pie throwing! All you have to do is hand Skarl a fresh pie you made, and get
him to throw it at your face. That should be his idea of fun, shouldn't it? Or
maybe it isn't. He might feel sorry for the delicious pie you made, and end up
eating it instead. He may finish it with a burp and a couple of words like, "It
is gone to a better place."
9) What about a tea party? Bring a couple of adorable little plushies and sit
them all around a pretty covered table on some cute little stools. You and King
Skarl can discuss about how Adam smells of asparagus, and giggle about it afterwards.
-- Or not.
10) How about going to the Grooming Parlour shop and buying loads of lipstick,
eyeshadow and hair clips? Come back with it to the castle and then you can do
his make-up. I'm sure he'll love to lose his 'angry' look and get the 'sweet innocent'
look for a change. It's a castle fit for a queen! I mean, king.
11) Errr, maybe hiring the Chia Clown for Skarl? Squirting water from his flower
patch in Skarl's eye might not be Skarl's way to laugh. Or driving around the
kings castle in the Chia Clown car...
12) Making things out of well -- things! You know making Neopets out of balloons.
The only thing going wrong with that, is they might pop and scare the lights out
of King Skarl. Then making paper air planes out of the Neopian Times and throwing
them at Skarl's belly as a bullseye target. Uh, then maybe that will be the last
of YOUR fun..
13) Last but not least -- Juggling! Tossing some bouncy balls around and around
might be your idea of juggling, but to Skarl it's tossing a couple of "Flaming
Rock Of Fire's". Well, and if you can't do that...
So, I guess jokes are really the only thing that do make King Skarl happy. Everything
else I guess would be far to absurd to try. Well, you never know, maybe one of
these ideas might work out in the end after all for this king. What do ya think?
Authors Note: I'd like to thank Plushieowner for inspiring me to write in the
Neopian Times! Whoot whoot!
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