150 Uses for the Neopian Times
NEOPIAN TIMES - This week, the Neopian Times celebrates its 150th issue! YAY!
=tosses everyone a party hat= To honor and respect this special occasion, I decided
to write an article on what all you can do with your copy of the Neopian Times,
hence the title of this article. I bet you thought the Neopian Times was just
for reading, eh? Nope, there are tons more things that you can do with it. We
have a lot of ideas to list, so without further ado, let's begin:
#150 Roll it up to swat those pesky Vernaxes.
#149 Paste it to your wall to use as a dart board.
#148 Use issues of the Neopian Times as wallpaper.
#147 Instead of buying an expensive Jazzmosis poster, draw your own
on an old issue!
#146 Once you finally get into the Neopian Times, shred an issue and
use it as confetti to celebrate.
#145 Make about a hundred of those "Don't waste paper" and "Save the
Trees" posters to put about Neopia.
#144 Didn't get in to this week's issue? Use a copy as a bigger tissue.
#143 Shred an issue to make a papier mache white Weewoo.
#142 Roll up an issue and play Whack-A-Sibling! v #141 Tape
a bunch of continued series and try to pass it off as a novel. Heh.
#140 Buy old issues and try to sell them as this week's.
#139 Tear up pieces and feed them to your Goldy.
#138 Use it as a fan on those super-humid days.
#137 An issue of the Neopian Times comes in handy when your Neopet
is litter box-training its petpet.
#136 Make a paper hat to shield your face from the sun.
#135 Cut out letters to make ransoms notes: "i ToOk your FUzzLe, MeEt
mE by THE… trEe"
#134 Tape an issue to your neohome window to keep the sun from warming
#133 Glue your own pictures to the comics section to make it look like
you're a real artist.
#132 Smear a bunch of white paint on the Neopian Times and reuse it
as regular paper.
#131 Use an issue as a canvas to paint on.
#130 When you get published, frame it!
#129 Use it to wrap up leftovers before you put them in your Faerie
#128 Fold up a sheet to use as a paper airplane.
#127 If for some reason your Wocky or other furry Neopets loose all
of its fur, cut out strips from the Neopian Times to use as a replacement. *Do
not get wet!
#126 You can use a copy of the Neopian Times as a flag for your new
#125 Cut out very long strips to use as blinds for your window.
#124 Ball up little bits and stuff your pillow with them.
#123 At Neoschool, put the comics section on the inside of your school
book to make it only look like your doing Algebra.
#122 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Faerie Queen until she
gives you a quest.
#121 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Light Faerie until she
gives you a quest.
#120 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Fire Faerie until she gives
you a quest.
#119 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Water Faerie until she
gives you a quest.
#118 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Earth Faerie until she
gives you a quest.
#117 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Air Faerie until she gives
you a quest.
#116 Crumple up a sheet and throw it at the Dark Faerie until she gives
you a quest.
#115 Give a copy to a Puppyblew so he'll chew on that instead of your
#114 Cut out every word to make your own crossword puzzle.
#113 In the game Mootix Drop, lie the Neopian Times flat so Harry can
land on that instead of the face of another petpet.
#112 Use the Neopian Times to line your trashcan to make it easier
to clean up.
#111 Make a papier mache version of notorious Dr. Sloth, in hopes of
being redeemed worthy enough for you to use his image on the Neoboards!
#110 Maybe instead of fighting with a sword, Jeran should consider
a rolled up copy of the Neopian Times. I'm sure that would stop Kass.
#109 If it's raining, use it as an umbrella. It won't last too long,
but what the heck.
#108 If you're hungry then… take a bite! It's non-toxic.
#107 Lay down sheets of the Neopian Times when you're baking cookies.
The paper will absorb any excess oil.
#106 Tape a piece of the Neopian Times to a trophy to make it look
like you won the "I read the Neopian Times" award.
#105 Even though this isn't an option, build your Neohome out of paper
if you think cardboard is expensive.
#104 Color your own pictures to make Neopets Trading Cards.
#103 Who knows? If you collect all of the old Neopian Times issues
maybe you'll get a new avatar someday.
#102 Draw little squares on an issue to reuse as a calendar.
#101 Cut the Neopian Times into shapes of Neopoints. Next, stick them
on piece of cardboard. Maybe you can spend them and no one will notice…
#100 Use the Neopian Times to dry off with.
#99 Instead of covering your room with M*YNCI posters, cover it with
the Neopian Times comics section instead.
#98 Cut a sheet into a square and cover it with red and black squares
to make your own checkerboard!
#97 Cut out pictures from your favorite comics to make a collage.
#96 Use issues as napkins when you're finished.
#95 Tape pictures of comics in your textbook so you won't be bored
#94 Fold it into a rectangle to use as an envelope, (add adhesive to
#93 Tear old issues in pieces to make spitballs.
#92 Fold up parts of it to make triangular tents for petpets.
#90 Wrap a piece of the Neopian Times around a mug, to make your own
'Neopian Times Mug'.
#89 Cut a page into a diamond-shape to make a kite.
#88 If you are stranded in the middle of the Lost Desert and need to
make a fire, use the Neopian Times for kindling.
#87 No wrapping paper? No problem! Wrap up holiday gifts with issues
of the Neopian Times.
#86 If you're moving to a new Neohome, use the Neopian Times to wrap
up any valuables to prevent them from breaking.
#88 Paste a few issues together to make a booster seat for smaller
#87 Fold the Neopian Times into a cone-shape, making a megaphone to
cheer on the Turdle racers!
#86 If you cover your Neohome floor with old issues, you will never
need to sweep again!
#85 Play Whack-a-Kass with a rolled up issue. Bread is too tasty to
whack Kass with, a stick will break too easily and a bat is too harsh…
#84 Go door to door and sell new issues to the Neopian Times for three
times the price!
#83 Use the Neopian Times in the Battledome. SMACK!
#82 Make a paper sailboat and see how long it floats.
#81 Offer Sabre-X your oh-so-rare week 1 edition for the his entire
#80 Make a paper star for your Christmas tree.
#79 Save up all of your old issues in hopes of acquiring the Pack Rat
#78 Hit your sibling with it. It won't hurt him and it's a great way
to relieve tension.
#77 Cut out the front page of a random issue of the 'Times to make
your own "I love the NT" T-shirt.
#76 Make a paper mask to attempt to rob the Neopian Bank. (Okay… bad
#75 If you are lonely, draw yourself on the Neopian Times to use as
your personal buddy.
#74 Disguise yourself by wrapping the Neopian Times around you when
you play Tombola. Then take the paper off and you get to play Tombola twice
in one day.
#73 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit Coltzan's Shrine.
#72 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but play the Wheel of Excitement.
#71 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Fruit Machine.
#70 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but play the Wheel of Mediocrity.
#69 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Giant Omelette.
#68 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Island Mystic.
#67 Do the same thing that #74 suggests, but visit the Giant Jelly.
#66 Use copies of the NT to fill your Neopian Times paper rack.
#65 Use a strip as a blindfold in the game Kacheek Seek.
#64 If you're a Pea Chia, hide under an issue for Kacheek Seek.
#63 Start a new fad-paper furniture.
#62 Cover the Faerie Queen's head with the 'Times and quickly snatch
up a Hidden Tower item. Careful, this could get you kicked out of Faerieland.
#61 Donate all of the issues you've already read to the Money Tree.
At least you'll feel that you're helping the poverty problem in Neopia.
#60 Read the comics section for entertainment while waiting for the
Wheel of Monotony to stop being so… monotonous.
#59 Make your own scratchcard. You win every time!
#58 Cut the Neopian Times into circle shapes to make fake Neocola tokens.
#57 Dye the Neopian Times yellow and sell it as a Dark Scroll.
#56 Paint over an issue to make your own gift tags.
#55 Cover all of your plants in your Neogarden during winter to prevent
them from freezing.
#54 Lay down old issues to protect your floor when you're painting.
#53 Collect all of the issues and every single Neopian Times item to
win the Gallery Spotlight.
#52 Want to get into a concert in Tyrannia? Make yourself a fake ticket.
This is just about as risky as #62.
#51 The Neopian Times gives a petpet something to fetch.
#50 Use words from the Neopian Times to help you when you're playing
Castle of Eliv Thade.
#49 Stuff up the Neopian Times to practice your aim for Ultimate Bullseye.
#48 Bring an issue and a pitiful face to Illusen if you fail one of
#47 Bring an issue and a Wooden Blocking Shield to Jhudora if you fail
one of her quests, (the shield's for self defense).
#46 Toss an issue onto a bean bag chair to make your own Neopian Times
#45 Read the short stories to your Neopets if you're too cheap to by
them a book.
#44 Throw an issue at the Turmaculus if you can't get him to wake up.
#43 Throw an issue at Coltzan if all you hear is maniacal laughter
in the distance.
#42 Use an issue as a placemat for messy Neopets.
#41 Whack a Staff Member with a newspaper instead of that mallet. They'll
be much more grateful.
#40 If you just can't think of letters for Cliffhanger, use the Neopian
Times for clues.
#39 Use the 'Times for hints on the Faerie Crossword.
#38 Instead of using bats for the game Meriball, give your opponent
a rolled up issue of the Neopian Times to use. We all know who's going to win
#37 Wrap food in an issue before heating it in an oven.
#36 Dry your Neopet's fur with it when he comes in out of the rain.
#35 Use it as a table cloth.
#34 Use it as a lampshade.
#33 Wrap an issue around a book to cover it.
#32 Stage a playful sword fight with your sibling.
#31 Draw your own coloring page.
#30 Kiss up to the Faerie Queen by drawing her a picture. Maybe she'll
trade you one of her items for yours. This is highly unlikely.
#29 Use it as a petpet blanket. One size fits all!
#28 Make a paper mask so you fit in when you visit Mystery Island.
#27 If you play "rock, paper, scissors" use the Neopian Times for the
#26 Mika and Carissa throw their useless items at you, so why not throw
an old copy of the NT at them?
#25 Throw an issue at the Snowager to make sure he's asleep before
you take something.
#24 Use the 'Times when you're looking for words during Spell-or-Starve.
#23 Cut strips to use as streamers when you finally get accepted into
the Neopian Times.
#22 Line your Crokabek's cage with old issues to make cleaning it easier.
#21 Use old issues to enhance a fire.
#20 Cut out all of the short stories to make a book.
#19 Wet an issue and use it as a washcloth.
#18 Tape a bunch of copies together to make a scratching post for your
#17 Keep a ton of old issues in your inventory to make it harder for
the Pant Devil to steal your bottled faerie.
#16 Put some sheets of the Neopian Times under a petpet's food and
#15 Teach a Spardel how to fetch the morning paper. Then maybe he won't
get such a bad rap intelligence-wise.
#14 Fold an issue into a cone-shape to wear as a party hat.
#13 Stack some issues together to make a petpet bed.
#12 Line the floor under a petpet bathtub with the NT to absorb any
water that was splashed out during bath time.
#11 Cut out all of the editorials to use as a reference for whenever
you have a random question.
#10 Draw a "please give me a quest" card and give to Fyora.
#9 Cover yourself in the Neopian Times and say that you're the "Ghost
of the Neopian Times".
#8 Make a paper collar for your petpet.
#7 Use the Neopian Times as a back drop for a family caricature.
#6 Buy a "Neopian Quill" to use to write on the Neopian Times.
#5 Post a bunch of issues together to make a Neopian Times notebook.
#4 Carry the Neopian Times with you wherever you go to make you look
#3 Stack issues together to use as a seat for your petpet when you're
#2 Use the Neopian Times to stuff your Neopian Times pencil case. It
will sure look like you have a lot of pencils.
#1 Read it.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Oh, and a special thanks goes to beewitched2
and lego91 for some help on this. Happy 150th edition everyone! ~Playmobil