|teh 1337est n00zpaper
||Issue: 285 | 30th day of Running, Y9
|Lucky Everything"You didn't! That's the third time this week!" Pinc cried. Crystal had won a Spotted and Speckled Paint Brush in the last two days...|
|The Secret Diary of Danner CarnahanWe were supposed to spend the night at the inn in Hope River. But guess what, we're not. Glorious leader, also known as Sir Jeran Borodere, lead us down the wrong road...|
|The Tomamu Dilemma"It's super-simple! All we have to do is lay out a blanket, put up a sign that says, 'Leave your Tomamu to be cared for here', and play with other people's Petpets all day!"|
|OveranalyzeSean slumped in his chair. It was always this way. He always tried to help people. Sure, he realized that sometimes he got sidetracked...|
|Welcome To MondayA day filled with more misery than every grey pet in Neopia combined. From the second you wake up you know it's going to be horrible...|
|The Secret Diary of Laurana Rose- READ IT AND DIE!So, I just got back from my first ever visit to the lab ray. Um... yeah...|
|When Empty Bags AttackI reached into my bag to fetch the neopoints and my mouth fell open when I found my bag was empty! Panicking, I desperately searched every pocket I had. I knew I had brought fifty neopoints with me, but where had they gone?|
|Peas and Carrots: a Soupy Situation"MWAHAHAHAHA!" cackled the devious Chia. "I have done it! I have found the evilest way to avenge the fall of the Zebinator and finally dominate Neopia!"|
|The Elderly Delinquents: Rumble at Roo Oaks"What's so darn funny?" grumbled Manny with a huff of annoyance. "You kids today, all smiles and no hard work..."|
|The BanisterWho knew what Fyora did in her spare time...|
|Disease of the Citadel"Darigan is dying, sir..."|
|Can't Go Wrong With a Classic"It's April Fool's Day!" the Mynci declared, jumping around in anticipation. "You didn't forget, did you?!"|
|A Negg Tale"Yes, I read about that in the paper," said Lorissa quickly. "The Queen wants to remove one type of faerie quest from operation, and rumor has it that now all of the different elements are getting ready to have a big fight for their right to stay..."|
|Smelly Protests"Your Highness!" Smelly called up to the flying fighter. "Please, stop! We must discuss ways to end this terrible war!"|
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Former Chiavore Speaks
I am concerned about the plight of the Chia species - especially since an increasing number of exotic varieties have become available. Unlike me, most Lupes find all Chias to be tasty morsels - even the regular Chias. Therefore, being able to change them to an even more appetizing variety, like Chocolate or Custard, is quite the added concern. Therefore, just in case they all become extinct, I am going public. Yes, that is right! I love Chias and...
|Spheres of Influence: Part Four|
Naia explained in simple terms how Neopians everywhere were disappearing, and that where they vanished there was a strange scent. She said nothing about the grey Kougra. She didn't think it would do any good, really...
|Lost With Isaerios: Part One|
"Jeanie, I haven't even gotten over the last vacation you dragged me on, and now you want me to go on a tour to the highest elevations in Neopia? Are you kidding?"