Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 194,549,954 Issue: 774 | 24th day of Running, Y19
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"WoozleBee the Mighty" by samsimmer
I am Woozle the Fierce! I am the most feared pirate in all of Krawk Island! Nay, in all of NEOPIA! WoozleBee tilted his body back and let out a vicious…squeak. Reddening at the cheeks, he cleared his throat and growled in a slightly more ferocious manner. Would being intimidating ever become easier? He inspected himself closely in the Ancient Cursed Mirror, which had been handed down to him from Cap’n Threelegs, his intimidating pirate trainer, a fortnight ago. He squinted disapprovingly at his grey, too-soft fur. It was far too fluffy, far too silky, far too…not scary. With a sigh, he opened up his Mud Facepaint Kit and slathered thick, stinky mud across his fluffy cheeks, matting his fur and making his stomach heave. Being a pirate was sometimes a nasty bit of business, to be sure, but it was vitally important that WoozleBee managed to be extra fierce today! After all, it is not every day that a mere JubJub has the opportunity to graduate from Cap’n Threelegs’ Swashbuckling Academy! “You missed a spot,” a ghoulish voice said from behind him. A shiver ran through WoozleBee’s body and, instinctually, his fur shot out in all directions. WoozleBee growled as he turned to face his Ghost Goople petpet and friend, Goobs.“Oh drat, Goobs! Look what you did! I look like a dirty, unwound cotton ball now!” WoozleBee whined, spreading more mud into his fur in a vain attempt to make it lie flat. Goobs laughed heartily and floated circles around the young JubJub.




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