Hey, everyone! Welcome to the 550th issue of The Neopian Times! To help celebrate, we've prepared an exceptional Editorial for you this week, featuring answers to the questions you've just been dying to know!
For starters, we're finally going to reveal to you what exactly is behind that locked door in NeoQuesaahhhhh!!!
Heh, heh, heh. I love it when their hair catches fire like that.
Ahem. Greetings, you pathetic beings! I, the illustrious Dr. Sloth, will be answering your questions for this most auspicious of occasions.
*turns* What? What are you pathetic fools whimpering about? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE EDITORIAL SECTION DOESN'T QUALIFY FOR THE AVATAR?!? *blaster fire*
Blazes. This was my one chance. They rejected every other story I wrote about me destroying every living thing in Neopia. "Too violent" they claimed. *snort*
Well, seeing as they're all now quivering and smoldering in the corner, I guess the Editorial must fall into my capable hands. Let's see here...
I, like many other Neopians, hate the Darigan Yooyus with a passion. All they ever do is RUIN MY GAME! After just a couple of scores, they stall the game, because neither I nor my opponent can score with them. Eliminate these monsters once and for all, so I can enjoy Yooyuball happily. ~rissierose20
Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. Here, let me hit this button to fix that. Oh woops. Wrong button! It seems Darigan Yooyus are now the ONLY option. MUAHAHAHAHAAHA! ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR PRECIOUS ALTADOR CUP.
So, I've seen in some Neopian Times articles that there are some words / sentences in bold letters. I'm planning on writing an article, too, and I would like to know this: if you want a bold word or sentence in your article, do you mark it in any way? If so, how? If that's not how it's done, then do you have to copy / paste it already in bold letters from another document or something? Sorry if the question is silly, but I've never submitted an article before and I want to do it right. ;) Thanks! ~cachorritalinda12
Having submitted countless QUALITY ENTRIES myself, I can inform you that you can use [b] and [/b] to mark your words as bold. However, should your story be accepted while mine is still laying in a rejected heap... let's just say that things will not end well for you.
Does donating Neopoints to Tombola do anything other than reopen the Tombola game faster? ~viola_hero
You donate Neopoints to that worthless layabout that gives you SAND from an ISLAND?
I suddenly have a brilliant new idea to fund my schemes.
Hi, TNT! I've noticed that no one ever asks this, so I will. How are you doing today? Is there anything I can do for you? ~lypreila
*looks over* Their hair is no longer on fire, so I suppose that means they are doing well. One is holding up a sign pleading for help. How quaint.
Hi there, TNT! Just wondering: what happened to Dr. Sloth's stamp auctions? ~babygirl122187
The crate I stol-- commandeered ran out of stamps. Never fear, though, you deep-pocketed Neopians, I have recently... procured another one. The auctions shall resume shortly. After all, my army--eh, Grundo Reeducation Center I mean, of course, still needs funding.
When will you give up on your nefarious plots and leave our solar system once and for all, you monster? ~Gorix of The Resistance
WHAT?!? Why, you little... when my army is complete, your wretched resistance is the first thing I'm going to destroy!
Hey, TNT! Just wondering: are you ever gonna make Neocash cards available in countries like Brazil? Cookies to you if you do! :) ~ginny_r30
It seems they just recently did. Excellent... yes, even more powerful funds for my upcoming victory. Perhaps I can even do some recruiting from your own ranks? Oh yes, look at this sparkly wig, I know you want it... just send all your fistfuls of money directly to me, please. I'll even throw in an animated background if you crush all who oppose me.
In Issue 376, you said Dr. Sloth had a PhD in Horribleness. Is this a reference to the amazing sing-along blog of Dr. Horrible? ~futurevetpet
WHO SAID THAT? FOOLS.
It was a double PhD!
How about a loin cloth wearable? ~icrywaitingforbook7
Umm... *uncomfortable throat clear* Oh! I just remembered I have an appointment to get my toenails cleaned. I must be leaving. I'm sure the remnants of your precious "TNT" can finish... drat, they escaped. Err... please enjoy this quality photograph from a recent vacation of mine! *quickly leaves*
As soon as you bow down to me, you too will enjoy the pleasure of serving me!
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