Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 194,397,092 Issue: 764 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y19
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The Eyes

What direction?

by janderson_lee
Lame Pun: New Sweater

One Size Fits All

by blackaavar
Out of This World Romance

No. I'm just green.

Also by chantili_doce

by hopeandjoy

Sloth Day - A Pun So Evil

It's almost unthinkable...

by eenlee
Fishing Tales

Answering the #1 question of the reason we have so much junk in our Safety Deposit Boxes!

by x_mystichorse_x
Always a basic petpet

That moment when your petpet has a really nice default color...

by arijuka
NeoPaper: Friendly Battledome Match

Next up in the BD, the most exciting sparring match!

by mbredboy31
Agh!

The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity wishes he could be left alone for a couple hours to nap!

by draggi_pi2
Desert Arms

Talk about misleading!

by pafriskus
The Downside of Games: Kass Basher

This game is not environmentally friendly.

Also by o_babypet4me_o

by bittersweet52

Last at the Training School

zzzzzzzzzz

by kazemas
The History of the Neopian Times Slorg

Who knew a slorg would love a crayon so much?

by tokyocathy
What do you want to be when you grow up?

Sometimes, you CAN get what you want.

by truebrony
 
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Headlines


"ALL HAIL SLOTH" by grimmbones7
“We have the perfect job for you,” Naia said. Mira couldn’t believe how happy her voice sounded despite the lack of color in her face. “It’s called ‘Jelly Bean Counter’. You see, our dear Sloth wants to win the prize at the Sloth Borovan Coffee Shop, so he needs a dedicated Neopian like you to count the exact number of Jelly Beans in the jar. The reward for this job is a limited edition Sloth keychain!” The Haunted Woods was the same at least.. Except for the big massive advertisements for Sloth products or Anti-Faerie spray in between the broken and rotting trees. The screen flickered to the Fairgrounds and she began to weep. The Test Your Strength game was now run by a Mutant Grundo and featured a mallet hitting her face! The Coconut Shy was hosted by a Robot Lenny and you threw rocks to knock over coconuts painted to look like various faeries! She gasped. To win the grand prize of a Dr. Sloth plushie you had to knock over the ‘Space Faerie’ coconut. “I’ve failed Neopia. I couldn’t protect them when they needed me most” Mira cried. Helplessness washed over her. Her thoughts raced to all the innocent Neopets, even the poor petpets and petpetpets, crying out her name! Crying out for help, mercy from Sloth’s evil!




Other Stories


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Balthazar Reborn
As soon as his breaths had turned into the gentle wheezes of dreamers, I knew it was time. The moon bore witness to my fleeting figure, noting without emotion my attempts to keep as quiet as I could as I tiptoed out of the room. It saw me find what I was looking for, and offered a handful of moonbeams to aid my inspections. I accepted them, though they turned out to be unnecessary. I’d already known it’d be perfect.

by sampleneopian

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ALL HAIL SLOTH
“SLOTH! SLOTH! SLOTH!” the deformed Grundos chanted. “As you can see.. The Space Faerie can no longer protect Neopia as she is a little under the weather. So from now on I am the ruler of the Neopian universe,” Sloth said. Without any further word he dropped the mic and walked out.

Also by pikachewz

by grimmbones7


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How To Celebrate Sloth Day
As we all know, the 14th day of Sleeping is dedicated to the greatest, most evilest (and handsomest!) villain in all of Neopia – the great Dr. Sloth! With thousands of forced Grundo minions and crazed fans, what can YOU do to set yourself apart and celebrate this devilishly good-looking evil scientist?

by butterflybandage

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So You Lost it All On the Wheel of Extravagance
All you wanted was some exotic fruits or bread to spice up dinner; one minute you’re making a beeline for Qasalan Delights, telling yourself, out loud, over and over, this time he isn’t going to get you - and the very next thing you know, you’re letting go of the side of the wheel, chanting BIG MONEY BIG MONEY as it spins before you, that darn Tonu laughing at your naivete as he greedily counts a bag full of your hard-earned neopoints, more than you should even be carrying in the first place.

by rhosymedre

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Southward Bound: Part Two
"I’ve always heard rumours that he’d had a secret base at the South Pole, but I never dreamed they were real!” said Osa. “This is not good. There’s no way we could take on a whole Sloth base by ourselves!” said Brynn.

by kaioti

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Nonlinear Companions: Dawn: Part Seven
As we approached the Happy Valley exit of the Ice caves, I could see the snow violently swirling round in little concentric circles. The sky had become a deep grey and the few neopets that were outside, were being tossed about like ragdolls in the wind.

Also by ukases

by _starryeyedsurprise_




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