Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 194,392,504 Issue: 764 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y19
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The Eyes

What direction?

by janderson_lee
Lame Pun: New Sweater

One Size Fits All

by blackaavar
Out of This World Romance

No. I'm just green.

Also by chantili_doce

by hopeandjoy

Sloth Day - A Pun So Evil

It's almost unthinkable...

by eenlee
Fishing Tales

Answering the #1 question of the reason we have so much junk in our Safety Deposit Boxes!

by x_mystichorse_x
Always a basic petpet

That moment when your petpet has a really nice default color...

by arijuka
NeoPaper: Friendly Battledome Match

Next up in the BD, the most exciting sparring match!

by mbredboy31
Agh!

The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity wishes he could be left alone for a couple hours to nap!

by draggi_pi2
Desert Arms

Talk about misleading!

by pafriskus
The Downside of Games: Kass Basher

This game is not environmentally friendly.

Also by o_babypet4me_o

by bittersweet52

Last at the Training School

zzzzzzzzzz

by kazemas
The History of the Neopian Times Slorg

Who knew a slorg would love a crayon so much?

by tokyocathy
What do you want to be when you grow up?

Sometimes, you CAN get what you want.

by truebrony
 
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Headlines


"ALL HAIL SLOTH" by grimmbones7
“We have the perfect job for you,” Naia said. Mira couldn’t believe how happy her voice sounded despite the lack of color in her face. “It’s called ‘Jelly Bean Counter’. You see, our dear Sloth wants to win the prize at the Sloth Borovan Coffee Shop, so he needs a dedicated Neopian like you to count the exact number of Jelly Beans in the jar. The reward for this job is a limited edition Sloth keychain!” The Haunted Woods was the same at least.. Except for the big massive advertisements for Sloth products or Anti-Faerie spray in between the broken and rotting trees. The screen flickered to the Fairgrounds and she began to weep. The Test Your Strength game was now run by a Mutant Grundo and featured a mallet hitting her face! The Coconut Shy was hosted by a Robot Lenny and you threw rocks to knock over coconuts painted to look like various faeries! She gasped. To win the grand prize of a Dr. Sloth plushie you had to knock over the ‘Space Faerie’ coconut. “I’ve failed Neopia. I couldn’t protect them when they needed me most” Mira cried. Helplessness washed over her. Her thoughts raced to all the innocent Neopets, even the poor petpets and petpetpets, crying out her name! Crying out for help, mercy from Sloth’s evil!




Other Stories


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Balthazar Reborn
As soon as his breaths had turned into the gentle wheezes of dreamers, I knew it was time. The moon bore witness to my fleeting figure, noting without emotion my attempts to keep as quiet as I could as I tiptoed out of the room. It saw me find what I was looking for, and offered a handful of moonbeams to aid my inspections. I accepted them, though they turned out to be unnecessary. I’d already known it’d be perfect.

by sampleneopian

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Usuki Singing Stars #37: Like, Totally Goth
Scary turned to stare at Gerald. The Aisha was wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans, blacks and white sneakers, and a red beanie. He looked depressed and (totally) boring, too. “You honestly think I can relate to that freak?” Scary gasped. “How in Neopia can I befriend something who wears black eye shadow??”

by downrightdude

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Top 12 Gifts for Sloth Supporters
Is your neopet a true Dr. Sloth fan if they don't own these 12 sloth-tastic items?

by stargirl346

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Coconut Power! A Guide for a Wild Ride
I absolutely love to play games and collect trophies. of course, the point is to have fun, so it's always great to find a game that you can get a trophy for that's also fun to play for a long time in itself, and Wheeler's Wild Ride is one of these games.

by sargelw

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Nonlinear Companions: Dawn: Part Seven
As we approached the Happy Valley exit of the Ice caves, I could see the snow violently swirling round in little concentric circles. The sky had become a deep grey and the few neopets that were outside, were being tossed about like ragdolls in the wind.

Also by ukases

by _starryeyedsurprise_


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A Baby and a Brute: Part One
The wind tore through the woods with a fearsome howl, rattling the leafless branches. Everything was white but it was far from a winter wonderland. A lone figure trekked through the deep snow...

by 77thbigby



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