Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 186,904,163 Issue: 171 | 31st day of Celebrating, Y6
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The Tower Journey: Part Six


by neonick19881988

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Part Six: Armour is out this season; Bandanas are all the rage

The Moltenore was stood in front of the cave entrance, trapping Toggerneo in a cavern full of boiling magma and jagged rocks. Never good. He'd tried to stand as still as possible, but instead found himself backing away as fast as he could.

     The fiery beast opened its mouth and Toggerneo gasped in fear. Wider and wider, until-

     "Hello."

     Surprised, the Gelert stopped moving.

     "What?!"

     "Hello. I don't get visitors often. Who might you be?"

     "Uhh… uhh… dunno, sorry, gotta go!" The Gelert tried to walk towards the Moltenore, get past it and into the tunnels, but found his legs unresponding.

     "Well, I'm Nus. Nice to meet you. I won't shake hands, but not because I'm frightfully rude, you understand. It's just that you would catch fire."

     "Thanks..?"

     "So, what are you doing here?" the Moltenore, Nus, asked. "The last time anyone came in was when some daft Shaman fed me. I don't get fed often."

     "I'm not edible!" Toggerneo exclaimed quickly. "And, and, and, and I smell like feet! Not nice to chew, really!"

     Nus laughed. "I don't need to eat that often anyway, so don't worry. Wait… did The Master send you in here?"

     "… Yeeeesssss…" The pet was unsure of where this was heading. Maybe being related in any way to The Master was a ticket to being consumed. Toggerneo was too young to get eaten. He hadn't eaten a Pickled Eel, or seen Kreludor, or-

     "What a scamp!" the Moltenore chortled. "That Master's always doing something like this. Testing me, seeing if I eat the people he sends in. Making sure I'm not evil. Well, you'd better hurry along. Don't want him trying to seal me away for ever. Not very jolly. Ta-ta!" And in a burst of smoke the creature was gone, and Toggerneo was left confused and very warm.

     "Perfect," The Master said thoughtfully as he took the lumpy rock. "Hmm… I wonder if this would help my hands… smashing blocks all day has done a lot of damage. Great for drawing in the tourists, though."

     Toggerneo frowned, and then coughed as politely as possible. The Master glanced up and nodded.

     "OK, take the weapons." The Techo produced the large bag of weapons from behind his back, and smiled. "Sorry about using you as a test subject. For the greater good and all that."

     "Almost being barbecued is all part of my job, I guess," the Gelert said sarcastically. He took the weapons quickly and stuffed them into his backpack, before stopping and looking up through the trees, out to the vast ocean. "How am I meant to get back to the mainland?"

     "I could put you in the School's catapult. We usually use it to get rid of junk, but-"

     "NO! I mean, well, I've already had one trip by catapult. Not nice. And I'm way too tired to row or anything. I feel sleepy…" Suddenly the Gelert swayed slightly, drowsy.

     "Then what you need... is the Krawk Island Crusader."

     "Ya applyin' to be on my ship?!" the Wocky yelled in what Toggerneo felt was an overly-loud voice. "What can ya do?"

     "Well, for a start, I can recite every issue of Judge Hog off the top of my head. I also know every dance move from the Chomby and the Fungus Balls concerts. Wanna see?"

     "You can clean the decks."

     Toggerneo nodded, and then tried to pass the Wocky, but was blocked by a large blade.

     "You ain't dressed right," the Captain told his new employee quickly. "Get some new clothes, and you can get on. Armour is SO last century."

     And so Toggerneo found himself fitted out in a black and white striped shirt, with a bandana around his head and big boots on his feet. His armour, which the faeries had given him what seemed like weeks ago, was stored in his tiny cabin.

     "So, when do I get my sword?"

     "A sword?" the first mate, a bored-looking Grundo, asked. "You'll need a mop more, matey."

     Toggerneo sighed as the ship cast off from Mystery Island. He hadn't expected his adventures to go so- dull. Usually he would have loved the rest, but it wasn't making good material for the book he was thinking of writing. "The Tower Journeys" by Toggerneo. Perhaps he would have it published under Neonick's name; it would mean the idiot human would get all of the crazy fan mail.

     Three days passed, and Toggerneo found he had a knack for cleaning. This worried him. Neonick was a strangely NEAT human, and the idea of him finding out his pet was a domestic genius- and therefore most likely telling him to clean up all the mess in his room- was not a nice one. The only reason he hadn't been told to do it before was because he blamed his brother, Pucca_Xero, a cute little baby Lupe his owner couldn't bring himself to scold.

     "I wonder when I'll get to see them again," he asked himself. It was all very nice to go out on adventures, but he was feeling homesick. But then again, seeing as he had failed to mention his long journey to either his owner or his brother, he knew there would be a lot of angry yells when he got back. Ah well. Seeing his owner go an angry-red colour would make up for it.

     Something whistled past his ear and he jumped. The cannonball which had barely missed him slammed into the Captain's Quarters, resulting in a deep boom. Toggerneo gasped, and turned on his heel.

     A large ship made of a deep-black wood, with shiny silver sails and a fluttering golden flag, was sailing along parallel to the Krawk Island Crusader. The entire crew, from those Toggerneo could see on deck, seemed to be made up of Kougras, yelling and laughing.

     Another of their cannons exploded, and the Crusader shook violently. The confused Gelert wobbled and fell backwards, landing with a thud on the muddy deck. The titles of all the books he had ever read shot through Toggerneo's mind. How To Stop Your Ship Being Destroyed was not one of them. All the pirates running around screaming didn't help.

     "How did I not notice the ship?" he asked himself. "Darn daydreams; I blame my brain."

     Feeling something touch his ankle, the Gelert looked down quickly. The Wocky Captain's tail had slid past him as he walked past, clearly dazed from the blast.

     "Fire the torpedoes!" he exclaimed. "Set fire to the sails! Chop chop!" With that he collapsed, and Toggerneo saw that the pirate crew were now screaming even louder. Another cannonball smashed into the ship, and everything tilted to one side. Toggerneo tumbled forwards and hit the deck next to the unconscious Captain.

     An idea struck him, quickly followed by a large chunk of wood. Rubbing his forehead, the Gelert got to his feet and pulled the hat from the Wocky's head.

     "YOU TWO!" he yelled, grabbing up the sword as well and using it to point at two confused-looking Aishas. "GET THE SAILS READY! YOU!" Now he was pointing at a Peophin, looking around the deck for some clue as to what to do. "GET THIS SHIP OUT OF THE LINE OF FIRE! EVERYONE ELSE, START FIRING!"

     I make a good Captain, Toggerneo thought to himself as he watched the pirates go to work. The first cannonball struck the enemy ship with amazing force, clearly shaking the Kougras on board.

     The ships were now much closer together, and from the way the gloomy-black vessel was being steered, it looked like that was what the enemies wanted.

     Another boom made the Crusader swerve, crashing right into the enemies. After the momentary shock, in which Toggerneo managed to fall over twice, the first of the pirates from the other ship leapt on board.

     A furious battle followed. In it seven Myncis fell over the edge, and would be found weeks later having a party in the Smuggler's Cove. Both the first mates fought, found out they had a mutual interest in Turmac Rolling, and decided to form their own boy band. The list of strange things that happened is endless. The main result was, however, that the Crusader's crew were overpowered.

     The Kougra Captain glared at Toggerneo, who was hanging upside-down from the mast.

     "Where are they?" he asked fiercely.

     "Where are what?" was the nervous reply.

     "The Platinum Dubloons you stole from us!"

     Toggerneo shook his head.

     "Wrong ship."

     "What?!"

     "As Captain, I would know if there was a hoard of treasure on board, and believe me, there isn't. You think I'd spend my time out here on the seas if I had that sort of money?" Toggerneo almost smiled, he was so pleased with the tale he was weaving.

     "This is the Krawk Island Crusader?"

     "No!" Toggerneo exclaimed. "Did you really think that? No, this is the, uhh, the Toggerneo Express. We ship poor, defenceless Petpets to sad little children."

     Suddenly the Kougra Captain looked nervous, and coughed.

     "Well, uhh, you see… I'm really sorry. Perhaps a couple of our remaining Dubloons will make up for it. Oh, and take our ship. Those Petpets need good homes."

     "Thank you," Toggerneo said, wondering how the Wocky Captain ,who at the moment was singing, had managed to steal hundreds of Platinum Dubloons from these pirates, and how he would feel when he realised the Gelert had given them away.

     "Ah well."

To be continued...

 
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Other Episodes


» The Tower Journey: Part One
» The Tower Journey: Part Two
» The Tower Journey: Part Three
» The Tower Journey: Part Four
» The Tower Journey: Part Five
» The Tower Journey: Part Seven
» The Tower Journey: Part Eight
» The Tower Journey: Part Nine



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