Curse of the 'Fat Pawkeet' - The Parody
It is a well known fact that Neopia was the happiest and
safest place that anyone could ever go to. With its large and prosperous worlds
and its super-friendly people, how could anybody hate it? In fact, it was so perfect,
that it almost makes you sick. That was before the pirates came.
The only difference now is that Neopia is overun
by pirates and pirate wannabes. The most famous of them all is the 'Fat Pawkeet'
and its crew of pirates.
The 'Fat Pawkeet' and its crew of men were feared
throughout Neopia - those who ever crossed paths with them were never seen again,
as if they vanished into the swirling white mist that surrounded the ship. Naturally,
many people avoided talking about the 'Fat Pawkeet', fearing that one day, the
immense ship will call for them too.
On the few occasions that the crew did decide
to land the ship, people were seen for miles running for cover, and hiding their
food. Why hide their food, I hear you ask? Well, legend has it that the large
crew that steered the Fat Pawkeet were nearly always hungry, so whenever they
invaded an wealthy island, it was never for its treasure, like everyone's stereotypical
idea of pirates(unless the treasure was edible), nor its people, it was solely
for their food, in particular - cookies, because everybody knows that's a pirates
The result of this was that the island was left
with not even a crumb, and the townspeople vowing revenge on that cursed ship
and its crew(although they never did live long enough for revenge, as many of
them died of starvation a few days later)
However, what did the pirates care for these
miserable people, deprived of cookies? They always sailed away on high spirits,
congratulating themselves on their latest successful invasion and had various
competitions, regarding the size of their stomachs.
For the Fat Pawkeet and its crew, that was just
the way they lived their lives, and they liked it that way.
Lapin the Usul sat happily in his cabin and gazed
at the row and row of delicious chocolate cookies that lay before him. This
has got to be the best invasion yet, he thought to himself and sighed contently.
He was just about to take a big bite out of his cookie when the door to his
cabin was thrown open and in ran his best friend, Hacques, his beady eyes glinting
"Guess what!" Hacques his Kyrii friend cried,
jumping up and down on Lapin's bed. Lapin, who was now extremely annoyed at
the fact that he was interrupted just before eating a cookie and now to the
fact that Hacques was jumping up and down on this new bed and chose to ignore
Hacques, seeing that his best friend was annoyed,
immediately stopped jumping up and down and said, "Okay then, I guess you don't
want to know about the latest invasion the boys have come up with? There will
be a lot of food involved..." That got Lapin's attention.
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Lapin
exclaimed, as his mouth watered, picturing more cookies and delicious foods.
So, the pirates sat down together and started
to plan once again, the invasion of another island.
Wedding bells rang loudly and people everywhere
hurried to get to the large wedding. In all the excitement, nobody noticed the
dark ship silently sailing towards land and its crew in position; ready to attack.
Ten minutes later, it was all over. Instead of
wedding bells, the island was silent. Back on the Fat Pawkeet, pirates were
yet again, celebrating their latest attack with a large meal.
Little did they know, someone was watching them...and
waiting. This time, the crew of the Fat Pawkeet had made a mistake. It wasn't
a normal Neopian wedding that they had interrupted - it was the wedding of Captain
Scarhead and his fiancée, and they definitely were not what you would call 'normal'.
Captain Scarhead was a middle-aged Lupe whose
body was covered with ugly scars. He too, used to be a pirate, and a very successful
one too. Some even say, he was better than the Fat Pawkeet and its crew. Whether
that is true or not, I do not know - but Scarhead is definitely not the sort
of pirate you could mess with.
"I'm going to make those puny pirates suffer,"
Scarhead muttered under his breath, watching the pirates afar with his dark
eyes, "I'm going to make sure they never eat another cookie in their life."
And with that, he turned around and walked off; his long black cloak billowing
in the strong wind.
Lapin yawned as the first rays of sunlight streamed
in through his small cabin window. He stretched and putting on his favourite
fluffy slippers, went out onto the main deck, grabbing a large cookie on the
way out. As he stepped onto the main deck, he was soon joined by Hacques and
together, they talked and laughed about their adventure the night before. They
were soon interrupted by the shouts and screams of their crew and ran to see
what happened. As they looked up, they saw, what could possibly be the most
horrifying image of their life and soon after that, everything went dark.
Lapin awoke in a cold and damp room, with iron
bars as walls. His head was pounding and once his eyes adjusted to the dark,
he saw the distinct shapes of Hacques, and other members of his crew.
Hacques, as usual seemed to be the only one who
was jumping and down, unaware of the trouble that they were in.
"Ooh! Another adventure!" he cried. "I wonder
if we'll find some more food!"
Lapin rolled his eyes and said in a bored tone,
that of a father talking to his son, "Hacques - we're prisoners now, don't you
get it? That's the end of all our adventures." Hacques' face fell and he decided
it was probably not the right time to be jumping up and down. Lapin felt nervous
about something....there was something he had forgot....but what was it? At
once, his brain clicked and he jumped up agitatedly, "My cookies!" he cried
feeling a little dazed, "My cookies are still on the ship! They've taken my
cookies!" Lapin took charge, figuring out a plan for them to get out of the
prison, it wasn't hard, now that he had a purpose.
It didn't take long for the entire crew of the
Fat Pawkeet to manage to sneak out, for although they may be dim-witted, their
love of food kept them going. Once out in the open air, they circled the island
that held them prisoner. After hours of searching, they finally found what they
were looking for. Their beautiful ship, the Fat Pawkeet, was tied to an old
tree, but still intact and looked the just the same.
"There's something not quite right about this,"
Lapin said, "Why would that Scarhead go to all the trouble of imprisoning us
if he wasn't going to trash our ship? That always happens in the movies"
"Who cares?" laughed Hacques, already running
towards the ship "That man is a fool, lets just get away before he actually
does do something."
The interior of the Fat Pawkeet was pretty much
the same as the outside; untouched and unharmed. Naturally, the first thing
Lapin did when he stepped abroad his ship was to hurry to his cabin, and most
importantly, his secret stash of cookies. As he entered his cabin, he breathed
a huge sigh of relief when he saw that all his cookies were still there, lined
up neatly on the shelves, just the way he had left them.
Lapin's stomach growled menacingly, reminding
him that he had not eaten for almost an hour, so he reached out and grabbed
the nearest cookie and bit into it hungrily. Instead of the crumbly, chocolatey
sensation he usually got when eating a cookie, a cold and hard feeling greeted
him instead. Lapin spat out the cookie and realised what had happened.
"That Scarblade must've taken all my real cookies
and replaced them with these plastic ones!" the pirate said angrily, his eyes
flashing. Lapin rushed out of his cabin, his heart broken and vowing revenge.
Just as he was coming out of his cabin, he saw Hacques, heading his way, with
an equal expression of anger and shock engraved onto his face.
"Captain Lapin! Scarhead stole all our food supply!
All he left was this..."
Lapin grabbed the scrunched up piece of paper
from Hacques' hand and began to read it. It said:
To my fellow pirates, congratulations on breaking
out of my prison - I knew you you do it! Too bad it's already too late...well,
I'm off, have a nice life kiddies!
P.S Thank you for all your delicious snacks!
The pirates of the Fat Pawkeet were never reported
to have been seen again. Some say that the shock of being deprived of food drove
them crazy but others say that the once-famous Fat Pawkeet is still out there,
biding its time, waiting for a chance to get revenge on Scarhead. Who knows?
One thing's for sure is that you should never mess with a pirate!