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Unfortunately, 100 More Stupid, Cheesy, Useless, Rejected Neopian Times Titles


by sirussblack

--------

Also by blubblub317 (though he’s not that important)

We’ve been working here down at the old factory where we churn out your most prestigious stories to be entered into the Neopian Times. And apparently the system is faulty...this got through, didn’t it? But, nonetheless, we slaved over it and came out much less than fruitful but, hey, sometimes people just have writing lapses. Or in Blubbeh’s case, a brain fart. A permanent brain fart.

Now, to the subject of this article. The Neopian Times comes out every week, which we’re sure you didn’t know. And each and every week it’s jam-packed with stories, except if there’s a week where it doesn’t come out. Then it’s a sad week. But, anyway, as you scroll along the pages and look at the titles of the articles, sometimes you see a few...not so good ones. But, what if all the titles you see are horrible? Now, I’m not talking about my cheap attempts or...hm, I smell hot dogs...anyways, I’m not talking about my titles or Blubbeh’s titles or even some other persons titles. I’m talking about horrible titles. Like this one for instance. Long and repetitive. But it serves its point. And it has a number! A pwetty number!

So, here we go again. Now, we need a disclaimer because we wanna look official and stuff. How about... Important Legal Contract That Is Totally Binding: These titles should never be used with the fear of getting rejected by the almighty Snowflake. Please don’t try this at home, kids! And, we’re off!

001. I Want The Avatar...BAAAADLY

002. See? Look at me gooooo...

003. The Ballerina Grundo

004. The Seris Story

005. Lyk a teecup

006. There’s Something About Blubbeh

007. ...Something BAD About Blubbeh...

008. Horribly Bad...

009. And He Smells

010. Whack-A-Jeran

011. Whack-A-Sirius

012. Lisha Is Duuuumb

013. Wiggle Your Ears and Touch Your Toes

014. Me, Me, Me, and Blubbeh

015. Blubbeh Has a Dilemma

016. Shallow Sirius

017. Stalking the Snowflake

018. Saying Things That Don’t Exist When In Reality They Actually Do Exist But Only In Your Mind Do They Exist and in the Actual Real Reality They Don’t Exist. Do They Exist?

019. Random Contest-Who’s Idea Was It? MINE!

020. One Day, I Met Someone Who Was Picking His Nose

021. His Name Started With an S

022. I Hate the Letter S. I Hate The Alphabet.

023. Passing Gas to Your Enemies

024. Clueless or Dumbness? A Little Bit of Both

025. The ‘E’ True Neopia Story

026. I’m A Big Boy Now

027. Sirius Is a Big Girl Now

028. I Love Lice. Do You Love Lice? WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE LICE!

029. I do nut spik in chotspak ONG21321

030. The Seris Story: Imposter

031. Of Lights from Within

032. The Blubbeh Story: I’m Fat and Proud

033. Chugga-chugga Hot Dog!

034. Can You Count to Three?

035. Blubbeh Can’t!

036. I Have a Large Bladder

037. Weewoo...Weewee?

038. Rider is a bucket of doggy doo!

039. XD - The Guide to Smiling

040. M=xx - Math or Jumble?

041. Gerbils Eat My Insides

042. Blubbeh Loves Krispy Kremes

043. Yummy, yummy donut!

044. Snowflake ish the worst editor in the world! (XD Nah, we love ya, Snowy!)

045. Look At My Abnormally Large Glasses. OOOOOH!

046. There’s A Person Who Sits in One Position in Her Chair All Day Long

047. Her Name Starts With an S: Sequel to ‘His Name Starts With an S’

048. The True Weewoo Story: Meep?

049. Wait, I Have an Idea….Nevermind, I Lost It

050. Reading This Is Worst Then Getting A Root Canal: READ THIS PLEASE!

051. Viva la Tyrannia

052. Lesigh. I’m In a Really Lesigh Mood

053. What’s Brown, Thick, and Nutty? A CHOCOLATE BAR! YAY!

054. I Like Snow and the Blaring Sun

055. Something Equals Something Something MC2!

056. Title

057. I Can’t Think Of A Good Title. Wait, Here’s One Right Now!

057. Which Is Eviler? Cheese, Chocolate, or Moehogs?

058. Photo Manipulating the Neocam

059. Birthdays Bashes Are Fun, Birthdays Bashes Are Cool, But Sirius’s Birthday Bashes Suck!

060. Le Guy met La Girl

061. Chicken Excrements for the Fat Soul

062. Mother Hen Hath Laid an Egg

063. Blubbeh: Another FAT Digestive System

064. Digestives Systems go to Excretory Systems

065. Blubbeh and the Trump

066. You’re So Freakin’ Fired!

067. Ape - The Story of a Confused Blubber Ball

068. Ninety Times Zero is One

069. Sup, Pup?

070. One Billion Three Hundred Million Sixty Nine Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Bottles of Neocola in My Stomach - Blubbeh’s Tale

071. I Went to the park one day and there was lyk, this gelurt and he had some yogurt and I ate the gelurt and left the yogurt.

072. Da Wrap Song

073. Tissue, Tissue, Blow Your Nose!

074. I No Know Evil I See U!

075. Sometimes...I Have Bad Indigestion

076. The Seris Story: Ray’tur Goes

077. Honestly, What Kind of Name Ray’tur?

078. No, Better Yet, What Kind Of Name Is Sirius?

079. Agent 008: The Blubmeister

080. Agent 233242344: Some Random Dude

081. Staples Are Fun, Especially On Your Thumb!

082. The Seris Story: Darquae the Lupe

083. The Seris Story: Losing Everything

084. Anything With The Name Seris Is Stupid, Okay?

085. Stupid People Are My Friends: Sirius Is My Friend

086. Creating Your Personal, Decorated Barf Bag!

087. Gasp! The Glittery Ruby Slippers Fit Sirius!

088. 2+2=3: Indulging Yourself in Complicated Math Equations

089. I Am Special, U Are Special, U Are Not Special

090. Oh

091. Ironies of Neopia

092. You Know, Half the Comics Aren’t Even Ironic?

093. Ain’t That Ironic?

094. A Visit from a Villain

095. Who Names Their Pet Fantasia?

096. Who Names Their Pet Blubbeh?

097. *shrug*

098. I’m Zapped...Invisible!

099. Midnight Mystery - Ain’t Much of a Mystery At All

100. See? We Completed "Unfortunately, 100 More Stupid, Cheesy, Useless, Rejected Neopian Times Titles"! FOR A SECOND TIME! BOOYA!

Okay, so there you have it! Another 100 stupid, useless, cheesy titles that Sirius would use any day! As you can clearly see, we have way too much time on our hands, but the trolls of Math are talking in some secret teacher langua-mmm, a cookie! Anywho, Sirius had to go the bathroom, so I'm taking care of the conclusion. I won't expect him to be back for another week, so it'll be a nice surprise for him if this article is published! Hey, why is the junkman here? Hey, junkman, what are you doing with this article! Aaah, don't you take it to your evil junkyard! EEE, don't you put it in your paper-smashing-eating-crunching Virtupets machine. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! COME BACK HERE NOW!

The End

Meep.

 
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