Regrets

The young yellow Lupe sighed, and her diary lay open in front of her. She had started to write in it, and the writing was scribbled in a rush and filled with loneliness and misery. She had no friends at school, and it was a shame. Icats was a pretty young Lupe, friendly and bouncy. But why no friends?

Dear Diary,

      I'm not. They also make fun of my name, and when I start to explain why I'm called that they talk over me. "Icats! Pronounced stay-say!" they splutter. If they weren't so wrapped up in themselves, they'd see it was Staci backwards. Oh, Loa, why did you have to spoil it for me?

      She sighed and through her fire faerie pen down on the floor with a thump. She blinked back tears. She was a strong Lupe, and hardly ever cried. She lay on her bamboo bed, fighting back the tears threatening to course down her face.

     "Sis?" Loa , her purple Lupe brother, stood in the doorway, his purple fur rippling in the breeze floating through her open window. Her own golden fur ripped as her sapphire-like eyes stared into his emeralds. He grinned in a cold-ish way. "Mom says dinner's ready."

     She nodded sadly, and followed him downstairs and into the kitchen where her two sisters Kionei and Sage were sitting with new Usukis. She forced a sickly smile and sat down next to Loa while her owner made dinner. She forced it down, a lump in her throat and that night in bed she cried silently, not strong any more. She'd have to face them again in the morning... slowly, she cried herself to sleep...

     A crash awoke Icats during the night, around 5am. She sat up, startled. Mom was already tearing into her room, Kionei and Sage behind her. "There's a really bad storm," she said shakily. "And... your brother ran into the forest... he thought we were with him. The storm is raging through the forest... he'll never survive." She broke into uncontrolable sobs, tears running down her cheeks.

     Icats was in denial. She shook her golden head, in horror. How could she have written those things? Kionei, Sage and Mom were sobbing. "We have to go," murmured Mom. "Get out of here. Before the storm gets us too."

     Icats refused in grief, refused to come. "We have to..." said Mom. But the storm was raging through and they left. Icats refused staying in the room... but lightening hit the house, and she ran out, no-one was in sight. She ran into the forest and sobbed uncontrolably again, lying on the grass sniffing loudly.

     ***

     A year later, she still walked through the forest. It had become her home. She believed Loa to be dead, as she had accepted it a few months ago. She was dangerously thin, and her once sleek, shiny, golden fur was matted and ragged. Her breathing was fast and harsh ... she still grieved over her brother ... until one day she heard two other Neopets in the forest talk.

     "Yeah, a purple Lupe," one gasped. "Attacked me. Vicious, he was, with eyes like emeralds."

     Icats gasped and walked up to the two gossipers who looked at her like she was a Slorg oozing slime. "Excuse me..." she started.

     "We don't loan to beggars," one said snobbily, turning away but she interrupted angrily. "Actually -"

     "Or give them anywhere to stay, they beg by choice." And the two Neopets, being Shoyrus, flew up into the air and away. Icats' offence was over come by hope and curiosity. Was her brother alive? She had to apoligize, she had to...

     Trailing herself onwards, she knew she had to search for him. She hoped he'd be here in the forest... would he recognize her? She was so overcome with emotion, she actually fainted... and fell straight into another Lupe...

     ***

     She woke up facing the sky, and a face loomed over her, leering. Emerald eyes! Loa! Hang on... it couldn't be. His fur was almost black with dirt, and he had lots of scars that weren't there before. He didn't seem to recognize her either only to give a short snort and walk away.

     "Wait!" Icats got shakily up and scrambled after him. "Have you lived here all your life?"

     "What?" He looked at her strangely, his emerald eyes with none of the liveliness he had before.

     "Have you lived here all your life?" she repeated anxiously.

     "That," he replied coolly. "Is none of your business."

     "Oh I think it might be," she said, shaking with excitement. It was so like Loa to be rude. "I think your my brother."

     He watched her, almost sadly. "My sister is dead," he said quietly. "She died in a freak storm that blew through. And she took pride in her fur, and yours is dirty and matted."

     "What's your name?" demanded Icats, angry at her own brother's denial of having a sister that was alive.

     "Left Outside Alone. The one who was left outside alone, that's what I call myself. Now leave me alone, I must find food."

     "No, I won't," snapped Icats. "Look at my eyes."

     With an angry glare, he did so. "So what?" he said finally.

     "Colour?" she asked softly.

     "Black."

     "Huh?" She saw her reflection in his emerald eyes. Her eyes had become black! Only a hint of blue shone through.

     "That could be due to living in the wild, not used to it thought," he added, and started to walk.

     "Loa, wait!" cried Icats, tears dripping gently down my fur.

     "Look," said Loa angrily. "This isn't funny. Were you at my Neoschool? My sister is dead, I know she is, she died in a storm. And pretending to be her is just sick. Her eyes were like sapphires, and her fur was golden, not murky brown." He walked away, but more slowly like he wanted her to chase him.

     "It's Icats," she said, very angrily. "And if you ever loved your sister, you'll look into my eyes and realize it's me, now in the name of Neopia, look into my eyes!"

     "You sound like your hypnotising me," he replied grumpily, but he turned and stared at her slowly. It could have been a minute, an hour, a day, Icats didn't know. But his eyes softened suddenly and that emerald spark she hadn't seen for over a year lit up. "Icats," he said softly and they embraced, never wanting to let go.

     "I'm sorry," he whispered and Icats didn't reply. Maybe this time he wouldn't spoil things, but if he did she didn't care... she didn't need friends when she had her brother. And by the look in his eyes, he wanted her too. And she wanted him more than anything she had ever wanted.

The End