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Gossip Time with King Hagan!

by blubblub317


Also by precious_katuch14

[cheesy artificial music begins playing]

Blubbeh: Hey everyone! Reporting live in the not-so newly discovered world, Brightvale, is Kat (a.k.a. precious_katuch14) and I, Blubbeh, (a.k.a blubblub317)! We’re so excited to have you all here because we’re one of the few who have actually gotten the chance to interview the newest king in Neopia, King Hagan the Fat!

Kat: Blub, it’s just King Hagan…

Blub: But I want our readers to be interested, so we I think we should add rich descriptions!

Kat: What if King Hagan reads this?

Blub: We can always cancel his subscription to the Neopian Times before he can see anything!

Kat: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Blub: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, my charm is undeniable! Anywho, come on Kat! Let’s get a move-on with the interview!

Kat and Blub run off to the castle in glee, their hands tightly gripping onto their new notebooks. They’re both very enthusiastic about the interview with King Hagan, for they have been planning this non-stop for days. In a matter of minutes, they arrive at the entrance of the towering castle.

Guard: HALT! Who goes there?

Kat: 'Tis us, a couple of Neopian Times reporters to interview the great King Hagan!

Blub: Oooh, is that a sandwich?

Guard: Get yer own. *glares* Proceed, young lass. We may have to keep the lad here, though. He could cause a bit of trouble...

Kat: Don’t worry, he won’t!

Blub: I won't? [Kat jabs him] Oh, I mean, I won't!

Guard: All right, proceed.

Kat and Blub slowly walk in to the castle, gazing at their surroundings in astonishment. They’re in the ultimate luxury entrance. The walls and flooring are a cream-colored marble, and grand statues of famous and historic pets are displayed against the sides. A few minutes fly by, and the two arrive at the door of King Hagan’s room. Blub quickly knocks on the wooden door with his hand. It abruptly swings open.

King Hagan: WHAT DO YA WANT?!

Blub: [smiling stupidly] Hi! We’re the two interviews that were planning on meeting you right now!

Kat: Yes, I’m Kat, and this is my co-partner, Blubbeh!

King Hagan: Oh yes, you two. Come in, come in. You really can never be too sure who’s knocking at your door these days. The paparazzi have been hounding me like a Lupe ever since the discovery of my city.

Kat: Don't worry, this won't take too long! You don't even have to get up from your, throne!

Blub: And you can trust us with your sad, sad life, Your Majesty!

King Hagan: Very well then...

Kat: Okay, for your first question...

Blub: What color is your underwear?

King Hagan: What?

Kat: Er, I mean...why do you call your kingdom Brightvale?

King Hagan: Well, I’ve always felt that my city is a bright and cheery one. All the residents’ know each other, and everyone is so kind and polite to one another.

Blub: Weird. A young Lupe tripped me while laughing on my way here…

Kat: Uh—moving on, who do you think is the best: Weewoo or Meepit?


King Hagan: Hey! You didn’t even let me reply!

Blub: Uh, there’s no need for that. Everyone knows Weewoos are the best!

Kat: But doesn't King Hagan deserve to answer? It's HIS interview, after all...

Blub: Oh, all right...

King Hagan: Although Weewoos are cuter and less spookier than Meepits...why, yes, I think they're better.

Kat: Er...shall we move on to our next question?

Blub: What gave you the idea of having stained glass windows here instead of regular old windows?

Kat: Good one, Blub.

King Hagan: HA! That stupid idea wasn’t even mine! My crazy old publicist thought of it as a good idea for lots of exposure. I personally think it’s crazy. Stained windows, honestly! They ruin the whole effect!

Kat: [is confused] Wha—bu—yo—sai—oh, never mind!

Blub: Need some Weewoo dumplings, Kat? You look AND sound awfully confused.

Kat: [is angry by the comment] No…thank…you.

King Hagan: [is interested] Weewoo dumplings? What are those?

Blub: Well, they actually come from…


Blub: Meep! Sorry!

Kat: OK, next question. What is it about King Skarl that you don't like? Have you ever had some GOOD times with him when you were both little?

King Hagan: Where's the Weewoo dumplings?

Kat: Answer me first!

King Hagan: But that was two questions!

Blub: Don't strain the king, Kat.

Kat: Okay...have you ever had some good times with Skarl when you were young?

King Hagan: We stole cookies together in the chef’s kitchen, until I realized they were fattening and stopped.

Blub: RIIIIGHT. Look how big you are now!

Kat: [face turns red] Um…let’s just get through this quickly. Why weren’t you there when King Skarl was under attack?

King Hagan: Because I didn’t want to answer that stupid question that interviewers continuously pose me!

Kat: Um…[becomes nervous]

Blub: Just sit down, Kat. Leave this to the real interviewer.

Kat: Urgh! [sits down on a chair]

Blub: [whispers to Hagan] Don’t mind her. Sometimes I think she’s even too insane for her own good!

Kat: Look who's talking...

King Hagan: Will you insolent little children just get on with the interview? They're serving broccoli, fish and carrots for lunch...

Kat & Blub: Brain food.

King Hagan: Yes, it's brain food! You see, I think knowledge is the most important thing of all time!

Blub: More important than my crazy ideas? Hang on...why do you think knowledge is the best thing in Neopia?

Kat: You actually think it’s better than white Weewoos?

Blub: Better than ME? [flashes cheesy smile]

Kat: [keeps herself from laughing]

King Hagan: BEEEEEEEEECAAAAAUUUUUSEEEEE…you’re at the top of the game when you’re uber-smart! Just look at my useless brother! He’s as dim-witted as a piece of meatloaf! Which suits him fine because he really does look like one.


Kat: Burn what?

Blub: [stares at Kat in disbelief] You’re kidding, right?

Kat: NO!!!

King Hagan: Urgh, you two are the most useless interviewers I’ve ever met!

Kat: NO WE'RE NOT! [makes big, pleading eyes at King Hagan]

King Hagan: I hate it when females make that look...

Blub: [whispering] Good one. Now we have time for maybe one or two more questions before you run us out of Brightvale...

King Hagan: I heard that! What do you think I am? Some bribing machine?

Blub: Um…is this some kind of trick question?

Kat: Excuse me King Hagan, but what you did to us was extremely impolite! You’re giving US questions when WE should be giving you them!


Kat: Sure, sure...okay, your majesty, what made you decide to create your own kingdom?

Blub: Why do you have a wheel that rips off anyone who tries it?

Kat: Blub, why won't you let him answer my question first?

Blub: Why should I listen to you?

Kat: Because I'm older!

Blub: So what? I get to ask questions because I'm an interviewer!

Kat: So am I! Sir, will you please tell us why you decided to create your own kingdom?

King Hagan: Is that the question I was supposed to answer?

Kat: YES!!!

King Hagan: I did it so that I could show my brother what a low-life Skeith he was! And don’t you give me that ugly look! There’s always a bit of competition between every set of brothers.

Kat: Hrmph, and the latter question please.

King Hagan: YET AGAIN, that was my crazy old publicist, Majelinkatwenhupo, who came up with the idea! “Will gives us masses of profits,” as he…or she always says. You know, I still haven’t figured out what gender my publicist is. NOW GET OUT, YOU FOOLS!!! =suddenly takes out a broom and threatens the pair=

Blub and Kat: MEEP! RUN!!! HE’S A MANIAC!

Sudden Mysterious Voice: He’s a maaaaniac, a maaaaniac, oh-oh!

Blub: What the heck was THAT?


Kat: You know what? Blub isn't dim-witted! He's smart and clever and I think he's got a lot more knowledge in his noodle than YOU!

Blub: I...I am? [grins sheepishly]

King Hagan: Well, what do you know? You're a nut, just like him! You're the coconut and he's the almond!


So at last, Blub and Kat finish their interview promptly, and storm off to the exit where they can get back to the sane world. They weave their way through the dozens of guards, and soon, they’re outside, breathing the fresh and cool air that Mother Nature has provided them.

Kat: Urgh, it feels so good to be outside that horrendous castle!

Blub: Agreed!

Kat: Let’s go home now. We need to type out the interview so we can send it to the Neopian Times!

Blub: Bah, it’s more of an argument then an interview!

Kat: I don’t care! Readers will be able to see what King Hagan’s really like! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Blub: Um…Kat, you’re scaring me.

Kat: [continues laughing manically]

Blub: Wh—[suddenly trips]


Blub: …….

…this’ll be a splendid way to show the readers how I look like when I’m ready to punch someone in the face…

[cheesy artificial music begins playing for a few minutes and then stops]

Blubbeh’s A/N: Hey everyone! Thankies for reading my article collab with the fabulous Kat! I really hope you enjoyed reading it! If you have any comments, please be sure to send it to me AND Kat, so we can both see how you liked or didn’t like the article. Until next time!

Kat's A/N: We hope you enjoyed reading our lovely article! Any comments, compliments, hatemail, shouts, squeals and feedback are appreciated! Oh, and it was really fun doing this article with my good friend Blub!

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