Gossip Time with King Hagan!
Also by precious_katuch14
[cheesy artificial music begins playing]
Blubbeh: Hey everyone! Reporting live in the not-so newly discovered world,
Brightvale, is Kat (a.k.a. precious_katuch14) and I, Blubbeh, (a.k.a blubblub317)!
We’re so excited to have you all here because we’re one of the few who have
actually gotten the chance to interview the newest king in Neopia, King Hagan
Kat: Blub, it’s just King Hagan…
Blub: But I want our readers to be interested, so we I think we should add
Kat: What if King Hagan reads this?
Blub: We can always cancel his subscription to the Neopian Times before he
can see anything!
Kat: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Blub: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, my charm is undeniable! Anywho, come on Kat! Let’s
get a move-on with the interview!
Kat and Blub run off to the castle in glee, their hands tightly gripping
onto their new notebooks. They’re both very enthusiastic about the interview
with King Hagan, for they have been planning this non-stop for days. In a matter
of minutes, they arrive at the entrance of the towering castle.
Guard: HALT! Who goes there?
Kat: 'Tis us, a couple of Neopian Times reporters to interview the great King
Blub: Oooh, is that a sandwich?
Guard: Get yer own. *glares* Proceed, young lass. We may have to keep the lad
here, though. He could cause a bit of trouble...
Kat: Don’t worry, he won’t!
Blub: I won't? [Kat jabs him] Oh, I mean, I won't!
Guard: All right, proceed.
Kat and Blub slowly walk in to the castle, gazing at their surroundings
in astonishment. They’re in the ultimate luxury entrance. The walls and flooring
are a cream-colored marble, and grand statues of famous and historic pets are
displayed against the sides. A few minutes fly by, and the two arrive at the
door of King Hagan’s room. Blub quickly knocks on the wooden door with his hand.
It abruptly swings open.
King Hagan: WHAT DO YA WANT?!
Blub: [smiling stupidly] Hi! We’re the two interviews that were planning on
meeting you right now!
Kat: Yes, I’m Kat, and this is my co-partner, Blubbeh!
King Hagan: Oh yes, you two. Come in, come in. You really can never be too
sure who’s knocking at your door these days. The paparazzi have been hounding
me like a Lupe ever since the discovery of my city.
Kat: Don't worry, this won't take too long! You don't even have to get up from
your seat...er, throne!
Blub: And you can trust us with your sad, sad life, Your Majesty!
King Hagan: Very well then...
Kat: Okay, for your first question...
Blub: What color is your underwear?
King Hagan: What?
Kat: Er, I mean...why do you call your kingdom Brightvale?
King Hagan: Well, I’ve always felt that my city is a bright and cheery one.
All the residents’ know each other, and everyone is so kind and polite to one
Blub: Weird. A young Lupe tripped me while laughing on my way here…
Kat: Uh—moving on, who do you think is the best: Weewoo or Meepit?
King Hagan: Hey! You didn’t even let me reply!
Blub: Uh, there’s no need for that. Everyone knows Weewoos are the best!
Kat: But doesn't King Hagan deserve to answer? It's HIS interview, after all...
Blub: Oh, all right...
King Hagan: Although Weewoos are cuter and less spookier than Meepits...why,
yes, I think they're better.
Kat: Er...shall we move on to our next question?
Blub: What gave you the idea of having stained glass windows here instead of
regular old windows?
Kat: Good one, Blub.
King Hagan: HA! That stupid idea wasn’t even mine! My crazy old publicist thought
of it as a good idea for lots of exposure. I personally think it’s crazy. Stained
windows, honestly! They ruin the whole effect!
Kat: [is confused] Wha—bu—yo—sai—oh, never mind!
Blub: Need some Weewoo dumplings, Kat? You look AND sound awfully confused.
Kat: [is angry by the comment] No…thank…you.
King Hagan: [is interested] Weewoo dumplings? What are those?
Blub: Well, they actually come from…
Blub: Meep! Sorry!
Kat: OK, next question. What is it about King Skarl that you don't like? Have
you ever had some GOOD times with him when you were both little?
King Hagan: Where's the Weewoo dumplings?
Kat: Answer me first!
King Hagan: But that was two questions!
Blub: Don't strain the king, Kat.
Kat: Okay...have you ever had some good times with Skarl when you were young?
King Hagan: We stole cookies together in the chef’s kitchen, until I realized
they were fattening and stopped.
Blub: RIIIIGHT. Look how big you are now!
Kat: [face turns red] Um…let’s just get through this quickly. Why weren’t you
there when King Skarl was under attack?
King Hagan: Because I didn’t want to answer that stupid question that interviewers
continuously pose me!
Kat: Um…[becomes nervous]
Blub: Just sit down, Kat. Leave this to the real interviewer.
Kat: Urgh! [sits down on a chair]
Blub: [whispers to Hagan] Don’t mind her. Sometimes I think she’s even too
insane for her own good!
Kat: Look who's talking...
King Hagan: Will you insolent little children just get on with the interview?
They're serving broccoli, fish and carrots for lunch...
Kat & Blub: Brain food.
King Hagan: Yes, it's brain food! You see, I think knowledge is the most important
thing of all time!
Blub: More important than my crazy ideas? Hang on...why do you think knowledge
is the best thing in Neopia?
Kat: You actually think it’s better than white Weewoos?
Blub: Better than ME? [flashes cheesy smile]
Kat: [keeps herself from laughing]
King Hagan: BEEEEEEEEECAAAAAUUUUUSEEEEE…you’re at the top of the game when
you’re uber-smart! Just look at my useless brother! He’s as dim-witted as a
piece of meatloaf! Which suits him fine because he really does look like one.
Blub: OOOOH, BUUUUUURN!!!
Kat: Burn what?
Blub: [stares at Kat in disbelief] You’re kidding, right?
King Hagan: Urgh, you two are the most useless interviewers I’ve ever met!
Kat: NO WE'RE NOT! [makes big, pleading eyes at King Hagan]
King Hagan: I hate it when females make that look...
Blub: [whispering] Good one. Now we have time for maybe one or two more questions
before you run us out of Brightvale...
King Hagan: I heard that! What do you think I am? Some bribing machine?
Blub: Um…is this some kind of trick question?
Kat: Excuse me King Hagan, but what you did to us was extremely impolite! You’re
giving US questions when WE should be giving you them!
King Hagan: Hrmph! TWO MORE QUESTIONS, THAT’S IT! THEN YOU TWO FREAKS ARE OUT
Kat: Sure, sure...okay, your majesty, what made you decide to create your own
Blub: Why do you have a wheel that rips off anyone who tries it?
Kat: Blub, why won't you let him answer my question first?
Blub: Why should I listen to you?
Kat: Because I'm older!
Blub: So what? I get to ask questions because I'm an interviewer!
Kat: So am I! Sir, will you please tell us why you decided to create your own
King Hagan: Is that the question I was supposed to answer?
King Hagan: I did it so that I could show my brother what a low-life Skeith
he was! And don’t you give me that ugly look! There’s always a bit of competition
between every set of brothers.
Kat: Hrmph, and the latter question please.
King Hagan: YET AGAIN, that was my crazy old publicist, Majelinkatwenhupo,
who came up with the idea! “Will gives us masses of profits,” as he…or she always
says. You know, I still haven’t figured out what gender my publicist is. NOW
GET OUT, YOU FOOLS!!! =suddenly takes out a broom and threatens the pair=
Blub and Kat: MEEP! RUN!!! HE’S A MANIAC!
Sudden Mysterious Voice: He’s a maaaaniac, a maaaaniac, oh-oh!
Blub: What the heck was THAT?
King Hagan: GREAT! FIRST I HAVE TWO DIM-WITTED INTERVIEWERSS COME TO MY CASTLE,
AND NOW MY PUBLICIST IS SINGING IN THE SHOWER!
Kat: You know what? Blub isn't dim-witted! He's smart and clever and I think
he's got a lot more knowledge in his noodle than YOU!
Blub: I...I am? [grins sheepishly]
King Hagan: Well, what do you know? You're a nut, just like him! You're the
coconut and he's the almond!
Kat: I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! BLUB, LET’S GET OUT OF THIS FREAK SHOW CASTLE!
[grabs hold of Blub]
So at last, Blub and Kat finish their interview promptly, and storm off
to the exit where they can get back to the sane world. They weave their way
through the dozens of guards, and soon, they’re outside, breathing the fresh
and cool air that Mother Nature has provided them.
Kat: Urgh, it feels so good to be outside that horrendous castle!
Kat: Let’s go home now. We need to type out the interview so we can send it
to the Neopian Times!
Blub: Bah, it’s more of an argument then an interview!
Kat: I don’t care! Readers will be able to see what King Hagan’s really like!
Blub: Um…Kat, you’re scaring me.
Kat: [continues laughing manically]
Blub: Wh—[suddenly trips]
Young Lupe: HAHA, GOT YOU AGAIN!
…this’ll be a splendid way to show the readers how I look like when I’m ready
to punch someone in the face…
[cheesy artificial music begins playing for a few minutes and then stops]
Blubbeh’s A/N: Hey everyone! Thankies for reading my article collab with
the fabulous Kat! I really hope you enjoyed reading it! If you have any comments,
please be sure to send it to me AND Kat, so we can both see how you liked or
didn’t like the article. Until next time!
Kat's A/N: We hope you enjoyed reading our lovely article! Any comments,
compliments, hatemail, shouts, squeals and feedback are appreciated! Oh, and
it was really fun doing this article with my good friend Blub!