Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 90,556,131 Issue: 162 | 15th day of Collecting, Y6
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A Jealous Evil


by ginger23456

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Hidden away in the darkness enveloping Neopia Central, she watches, luminous eyes darting, watching every Neopet that passes. She does not wish to harm them in any way but the jealousy fuels her hatred towards the lives of those who are happy. Her eyes begin to slant as she watches a group of Neopets skipping joyously after a long and fun day out. She can feel the hot anger coursing through her veins, feel her cheeks flush, her fists clenching into tight balls. She tries to resist but can't. She can feel a ball of heat in her chest, in her throat, the heat of anger and hatred. And then she attacks.

     After she has relieved herself of the anger inside her tormented soul, she sleeps for it is the only place where she can truly be at peace. Only this night is different. This lonely night she dreams of her past life, the life that moulded her into the life form she is now. Oh, how she wishes she doesn't have to live through it all again, see everything again, hear those awful words, endure all that pain. Not again.

     As her eyes droop she can still hear the cries of the little girl, her own voice crying out in pain and sorrow all those years before. And as she sinks into slumber the cries and sobs fade away and she dreams of a past that will haunt her for the rest of her life. It will never leave her for it has been burned into her mind.

      * * * * * *

     She awoke to the sounds of birds chirping outside her barred window. She pulled the thin sheet from her aching body, sore from where her owner had worked her so hard, and squinted as she peered outside. The sun was blazing in all its glory and the calm wind blew the blades of grass as they shimmered in the light. She had never been outside before. Her owner wouldn't let her. Oh, how she longed to be out there, free, free from the prison she so desperately wanted to escape.

     "Hey!" yelled a female voice. Her owner was standing outside the door and her voice sounded gravely and icy cold. She treated the young Usul as a prisoner, nothing more. She looked at the dank, plastic clock hanging limply from the grimy wall. 8:30am. Breakfast. Breakfast to the Usul consisted of a bowl of gruel, hardly filling and it tasted fowl.

     "Come get your breakfast. I need you to be full of energy for the task I've set you to do today so eat all of it!"

     She pushed the bowl under an opening at the bottom of the door. The gruel was thick and lumpy and already the smell was beginning to circulate the room. She gulped nervously. She always hated this part. She was scared of throwing up and so as she picked the bowl up in her shaky paws and placed it to her lips she could feel her stomach tense up. She quickly gulped it down and breathed heavily after she had gulped the last dregs from the bottom. She took the empty bowl to the opening at the bottom of the door and her owner grabbed it.

     "Well done," she said.

     She unlocked the door. Standing before the Usul was a girl around eighteen. She had deep brown eyes that looked almost black, and long, black hair down to her waist. She was a thin girl and her skin was pale. Her eyes showed no emotion and her lips curved downwards.

     "Come with me," was all that she said.

     The Usul followed unconsciously. She was lead through the hallway, down a flight of steps, through another room and at last, stopped in a small storage room. This room was filled with all kinds of different items. Most of them were junk but there were some valuable items too.

     "See those valuable ones?" the Usul's owner asked, pointing.

     "Yes."

     "Clean them for me. I don't care how filthy you get from the dust, just do the job."

     The Usul began to turn away from her owner but suddenly felt a spark of anger ignite her insides. She jolted her body around and stared her owner in the eyes.

     "No! No, I won't do it!"

     Her owner's eyes slanted. Her hands clenched tight and her lips were pursed.

     "How dare you answer back to me? To me you're just a filthy little Usul. You're good for nothing, not like the other kids in the street. You're ugly and you're stupid. You're just my slave, heck it's all you deserve to be!"

     She could feel her eyes water, could feel her lips quivering, her heart suddenly going so heavy with sorrow that she could hardly breathe. And then she turned away from her owner without muttering a single word.

     "You'd better do what I ask. Believe me, you won't be able to bear the consequences if you don't."

     She withdrew from the room, closed the door with a slam and locked it. And the Usul began to cry, cry out in sorrow and hurt. She was stuck in this life forever. It was a life or sadness and torment. A life of darkness. And she could not escape it.

     Wiping her eyes, she began to unwillingly dust the valuable items. Why were they valuable though? They weren't valuable to her owner. Couldn't be. Why would she lock them away in this storage room if they were? Was there really a reason for dusting them if they were going to be stuck in here? She couldn't understand her owner. The only thing she did know was that she had a heart of pure evil.

     Her nostrils were stinging and her paws were filthy from the layers of thick dust that had collected on the items. She would cough every now and again and as she put her paw to her mouth automatically, she got the musty taste of the dust. As she rubbed her paws together she could feel the sticky film the dust seemed to leave.

     There was a knock on the door. Her owner had returned, not to thank her for doing an outstanding job, but to send her back up into her room to fester in the darkness and the loneliness.

     "You'd better be done," she growled. "Because if you haven't then you just remember the consequences."

     She unlocked it and the door creaked open. A dark silhouette stood in the doorframe and only when she walked into the dim light could the Usul see every feature of that sullen, evil face. Her owner looked down at the neat stack of shiny items and then looked at her prisoner. She didn't speak just pointed to the door. The Usul followed, back hunched, eyes watery.

     Back in her room, the Usul looked out of the small window; the little hole that lead to the outside world. Looking past the iron bars, she could see young Neopets playing in the sun. Two girls were happily playing with plushies and a group of boys were playing tag on the grass. Already she could feel a tingle of jealousy and, as she watched, she became unaware that her paws had clenched into fists.

     "Why can't I be out there like them!?" she screamed, relieving herself momentarily of the anger and frustration and the sorrow inside. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she rattled the bars of her room. "Please let me be out there with you!"

     The Neopets looked up and smirked. They already knew about her and what her owner was doing to her. They seemed to enjoy it. It was as though they were in league with her owner, hypnotised by her even. They gawped at her for a moment or two and only laughed harder when they listened to the Usul's plea for help.

     Shaky and teary, she dropped from the little window onto her knees and then curled herself into a ball. Years of torment followed and little by little, the tiny Usul was being eaten alive by the darkness in her life and soon she would become the darkness herself.

     The words rattled in the Usul's head. Become the darkness herself. She hated being that way but it had become a part of her now, something she would have to live with for the rest of her life. Become the darkness herself. She stirred and whimpered. Her eyes flickered. Become the darkness herself. She shot up, half dazed but awake. The moon lay overhead and the wind howled spookily.

     The Shadow Usul, for that was what she had now become, sat still for a moment to contain herself and the emotions gushing around inside her like a torrent of water. As she waited, there was one emotion that she could not overcome. Her eyes, usually so full of anger and hatred, were now filled with a sadness only too recognisable from the Usul of many years ago. People may see her as a monster, a villain, and she is; but there's a part of her deep inside, a part that is vulnerable. It is a part that will remain hidden to all who come across her and only one person, she, will be able to feel the sorrow her heart suffers.

The End

 
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