Trouble at the National Neopian -- Ghosts!
NATIONAL NEOPIAN - *click* I refresh the roleplaying board of my guild, hoping
for a new post. Nothing. I refresh again. And again. And again, and again, and
hey, wait a minute....The yellow "something has happened" bar sits at the top
of the page. My heart leaps in my mad scramble to see exactly WHAT has happened.
--Did I get an item? A random avatar? A faerie quest?--And when I do, my heart
drops. "A ghost has stolen 270 Neopoints" I stare at the screen in disbelief.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!" I shout like a madman at the computer. I barely resist
screaming and throwing things at my computer. I mean, these are my hard earned
Neopoints, hello!? Why should a ghost get them? It's hardly a consolation when
the ghost donates them to the Money Tree, since I know I wouldn't have done that.
But what does a ghost do with Neopoints? What shopkeeper in their right mind would
let in a ghost?
I'm sure we've all experienced things like this before. I'm sure you're wondering
why you should care. BUT WAIT!
My eyes move shiftily along the page for any indication as to why a ghost just
"happened" to appear at this particular moment. It's then I see the advertisement
bar at the top of the screen. "Keep your Neopoints safe with the Neopian bank
today!" Good idea. That's convenient...a little TOO convenient for my taste....
And then it hits me--that's it! Maybe, just maybe, the National Neopian knows
that a ghost has just stolen from me. "Why do they care?" you ask.
Well, I'm here to tell you.
Here is my theory: The Neopian Bank is paying ghosts to steal from innocent
Neopians like you and me. Why? Well, because, you see, the bank wants MORE people
to put their Neopoints in their bank so they make MORE money, obviously! It's
so simple! I mean, why would ghosts bother to steal Neopoints without a motive?
What would these lost souls do with stolen Neopoints? Maybe the bank is paying
them with something other than neopoints--It's entirely possible!
At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and saying, "This girl is
such a loon!" But remember, the next time you get attacked by a ghost for "foolishly"
not putting your Neopoints in the bank, you might want to wonder why. Why would
the ghosts attack me? Here is the answer.
Should Neopians have to worry about these pesky creatures? I think not! Now
every time I refresh with Neopoints I live in fear of being mugged, not by regular
evil pedestrians but by DEAD THINGS!! I mean, not only is that creepy, but it's
And another thing-- Who are these ghosts? How did they die? Or, are they simply
painted? Why don't they have an owner or a name? Why do they all look like Quiggles?
Is this a statement against ghost Quiggles? Is it a plea for help from the ghosts?
*snorts* probably not, but still...
Why should the Neopian Bank be allowed to exploit these poor creatures? Or
are the ghosts simply greedy little minions, ready to prey on the next rule-abiding
These are all good questions. I'd like to know the answers.
And then there's the Money Tree. Let's all face it, since when have we actually
gotten anything from the Money Tree? I know MY computer is too slow to get anything.
Well, if you do actually get something out of the money tree, that's great.
For the rest of us with humbly slow computers, the ghosts donating our NP doesn't
really seem to help anyone, since it's not like we could get any of them back
by going to the Money Tree. Can ghosts steal items? Who will stop these menaces??
So, who do the ghosts help? Anyone? Well, according to my theory (which is
correct) the ghost help all their pals down at the National Neopian, and ultimately
themselves. The whole thing is a big stinking hoax that the rest of us are sucked
into. ((*pants* I still need 400 more words...where was I? oh, yes...))
And there's another thing; ghost paint brushes. Who wants to paint their pet
GHOST?? I mean, glowing grayish-green and red eyes? Most unattractive! ((no
offense to any ghost pets or their owners, if there are any)) So what is the
point of ghost paint brushes? More recruits, of course! The National Neopians
are simply not satisfied with the 'occasional ghost', but must instead have
an army, a fleet, a KINGDOM of ghosts to prey on innocent Neopians when they
least expect it! These new recruits have supposedly gone safely home to bed
in their Neohome, but really sneak off to a dark alley in the Haunted Woods
where they find normal citizens to attack for Neopoints! The National Neopians
are corrupting our Neopets, turning them against us and our fellow users, and
greedily hoarding the Neopoints all for their own causes!
Another thing, how do you explain the shortage of paint brushes? I mean, have
you noticed that where you used to be able to buy a paint brush for 70,000,
now you have to trade 350k? Where did all these paint brushes go? Well, as people
started losing Neopoints to the dastardly ghosts and National Neopian team,
they started keeping their paint brushes to themselves, since no one really
has enough Neopoints to afford them. All the ghost paint brushes are being used,
whereas the others are simply memorabilia of how rich we Neopians were, left
to collect dust in some poor Neopian's shop. No wonder all of them ask for such
high prices-- we're all broke! We're desperate for any Neopoints we can get
our hands on! What about the fact that you used to be able to play a game 5
times, but now only 3?? A coincidence, or more? I say it's the National Neopian
again, taking away all opportunity to get more Neopoints! The more they keep
for themselves, the less are out there for us Neopians! And while we're busy
playing games to help this great lack of Neopoints, we are refreshing more than
usual. You know what that means, don't you? Yep, more chances for those ghosts
to attack us!
When will the National Neopians learn that evil never prevails?
So remember, next time a ghost decides you are worthy prey, check the advertisement
bar for a National Neopian ad. Keep your Neopoints safe, and keep your pets
indoors. Because there REALLY is trouble at the National Neopian.
This brief paranoia was brought to you by Xarraven