Six Steps To Impress King Skarl
MERIDELL - This is an article about a famous King. There are many Kings in Neopia,
but the King in my story is a King you all know, King Skarl.
King Skarl lives in Meridell Castle, which is located in the South-West side
of Meridell. He sits upon his throne, looking down on all of his people. He
is known as the Grumpy Old King, which is only a fraction of what he really
is. He is grumpy, yes, but he is also very fickle, and lazy. But when he is
awake, or not out for lunch, he is just plain grumpy. His jesters and friends
and family are ordered to come from all lands to tell him a joke, to cheer him
up. Aunts, Uncles, Brothers and Sisters come from all over, telling their best
jokes. King Skarl doesn't usually find these jokes amusing, but he does find
his joke-struggling family quite funny.
When his family fails (which is quite often) King Skarl calls upon all of
Neopia to come to his castle to tell him their best joke. He rates the jokes,
for what reason I am not sure. Sometimes the joke has no effect on him. It doesn't
make him happier or sadder. Actually, I think that if he says that the joke
has no effect on him, it is just because he wasn't listening to you.
Some people come to tell him a joke because they think he will be nicer if
he is happy, some go for the free food, items, or Neopoints that go along with
a good joke rating. But telling a good joke is hard, and not many people know
that. In this step by step guide, you will learn what King Skarl looks for in
a joke, and what he looks for in the person telling the joke. So sit back, and
STEP ONE: PRESENTATION
When going to see King Skarl, you should be well presented. You and your pets
should wear your finest clothes. Not too fancy though, since King Skarl doesn't
like people looking better than him. Go to the Grooming Parlour and buy hairspray,
shampoo, conditioner, lipstick, cucumber eye cream, bath foams and salts, and
many other items that would make you look and smell fresh. But there is one
thing that you should know before going to the Grooming Parlour. King Skarl
doesn't like the colour red. He, as you may have noticed, wears red and doesn't
like people looking like him. He also doesn't like the smell lavender, so be
careful in what perfume, shampoo, or other beauty products you buy.
STEP TWO: NO NERVOUS LOOKS
If you tell a good joke, King Skarl may hire you as a full time jester. That
is a good job. But he will never hire you if you are nervous. When you are nervous
you tend to shake, and your voice doesn't sound right. Being nervous makes the
joke less funny, and you more funny than the joke you tell. To impress King
Skarl, I suggest that you practice what you are going to say and do before telling
him your joke. That way you won't be nervous, or forget your joke.
STEP THREE: VOICE
To tell a joke, your voice should be heard. If King Skarl can't hear your voice,
he won't listen and therefor won't rate your joke. Make sure your voice is loud
enough to be heard through the castle's hustle and bustle, but not too loud.
If your voice is too loud, it will give King Skarl a headache, and will make
him even more grumpy. Also, your voice shouldn't be too serious. A joke is funny
and loose, not stiff and serious. But keep in mind that your voice shouldn't
be too silly sounding. That may be overdoing it, and King Skarl is very picky.
STEP FOUR: FACIAL AND BODY EXPRESSIONS
When you go to tell your joke, you may not want to just stand in one place,one
position the whole time. King Skarl will get bored if you stand in the middle
of the joke platform, hands behind your back, telling your joke. Practice some
body movements, hand gestures. The movement shouldn't be too wobbly and silly.
But at the same time they shouldn't be too stiff. If you are enjoying yourself,
there is a chance that King Skarl will too.
STEP FIVE: TIME
Your timing is a very important thing in going to see King Skarl. If you go
see him in the morning, when he is still half asleep, you will not get a very
good reaction from him. The best time to see him is just after dinner, or lunch,
or one of his many midday snacks. That way he is full and happy. If you are
lucky enough to see him right after he has eaten, your joke will be listened
to, and if it is good, you will get a prize.
STEP SIX:TRICKS OF THE TRADE
If your joke is not that good, or if your posture, body movements, smell or
timing isn't so good, there are a few tricks that may be useful to you. Cook
some food. Good food. Meats are best. Hide your food under your clothes, and
when you see King Skarl, give the food to him. Tell your joke quickly, while
he is eating. King Skarl is always happier when he is eating.
If you have no food to feed him with, then give him a gift. He loves gifts.
The gift and be good or bad. Wrap it in a box, in colourful, bright looking
paper. Before you tell your joke, show it to him. He will be impatient to open
the gift, and this is a good time to tell your joke. In his hurry to get the
gift, he will say your joke is perfect, and give you a good score. Then, give
the gift to him and quickly leave before the guards know that you brought him
a gift, and before King Skarl opens his gift, in case it is not so good.
STEP SEVEN: JOKE MATERIAL
This is by far the most important step that I have listed. To impress King
Skarl your joke must be a good and funny joke. If it is an unfunny joke, King
Skarl will fall asleep, and not listen. Plan your joke, and tell it to other
people. That way the other people can tell you how your joke is, and how to
improve it. If you don't have a funny joke, King Skarl will not be very kind
That is all for this 5-step guide. I hope that you have learned everything
you need to know, and that this small guide will help you when you go to see
the Grumpy Old King himself.
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"Kottske… Do you remember last year? Last Christmas?"
I hoped for him to finally look at me, but he just closed his eyes and nodded
again. He had just experienced a shift of emotions, as I could see a sorrowful
look appearing on his face.
|That One Unlucky Night|
"What is that there, son? On your arm, a scratch
I presume? And why do you need my help?" I questioned. He was nervous now. He
settled down, but was nervous.