Warbler stared dejectedly at the pile of homework that he
had received just a few hours ago at Neoschool. Sitting on the wooden worn-out
chair in the kitchen, he scratched his head as his large, red body shifted position.
Masses of books were piled onto one another on the table, and crumbled pieces
of paper were scattered everywhere.
The Grarrl flipped open his Vocabulary book.
His current dreadful assignment for English was to read seven chapters of the
book, each chapter consisting of thirty-something pages.
"Why, oh why, do they do this to us?" Warbler
moaned, his mind already shutting down simply just by the view of all the homework.
"Homework is more evil then cheese, and that's saying something."
The Grarrl's stomach suddenly rumbled for some
food as his eyes read the bold letters Chapter One. Knowing that he couldn't
ignore his stomach's cries for help, Warbler stood up and paced to the kitchen
cabinets where there would hopefully be some chocolate-chip cookies that Cassie
had baked a few nights before. To his avail, nothing was there except for an
old piece of yellow cheese that had somehow grown into a dark shade of puke-green.
"Grrr, why did I have to eat all the cookies?"
The feet of Warbler pounded on the marble flooring
as he made his way towards the refrigerator. He swung it open, and unfortunately
only a jug of water was there, lying still without disruption. But the disruption
swiftly came, as Warbler slammed the door of the refrigerator shut, his temper
"I need something to eat!" he yelled.
"We've run out of food!" a call abruptly came
from the second level of the house.
"Cassie, is that you?" Cassie was Warbler's sixteen-year-old
"Yes! And you're not eating anything until I
go shopping and make supper! Understood?"
Warbler's expression of hope dropped. He felt
his stomach sinking as he plodded back into his chair. The Grarrl cocked his
head around a few times to try and find anything that looked remotely yummy
and edible. Suddenly, his eyes halted when they reached his vocabulary book
from Neoschool. His tongue slowly slipped out of his mouth, and he began licking
his lips. The book looked so scrumptious at the moment.
Warbler reached out with his grimy red hands,
and pulled the book towards his mouth. The title, "THE ULTIMATE VOCABULARY AND
SYNONYM BOOK", seemed to be flashing at him dazzlingly.
Come, eat me. I'll taste sooooo good.
Warbler's eyes widened. "Wow, the book can talk!"
he exclaimed, grinning sheepishly.
Of course I can talk! I'm a magical and delicious
book. EAT ME!
Warbler couldn't resist the urge. He snatched
the book and stuffed it entirely into his mouth, all in one piece. But that
wasn't the case for long, as Warbler began tearing through it with his pointy
canines. The book's pages almost tasted like chocolate to Warbler. It somehow
melted in his mouth as he kept it there while also managing to rip through the
hardcover at the same time.
"Mmmm, it's so yummy," he said between bites.
Soon, the whole book had made its way down to his stomach.
Patting his belly, Warbler smiled contentedly.
His stomach no longer ached for food and the sweet taste of paper still lingered
in his mouth.
"That hardback was amazingly lip smacking and
top-notch," Warbler said to himself.
A few seconds later, the Grarrl's eyes were as
wide as saucers from the surprise of his remark. "What in buck teeth's forename
did I just articulate?"
His eyes grew even wider in size. Warbler threw
his hand over his mouth, jerking his head around nervously. "Something is extraordinarily
erroneous," Warbler exclaimed, pushing himself off of the chair. "Cassie, aid
me! I'm a subsisting lexicon!"
"What the heck did you just say to me?" Cassie
exclaimed. The thud of her footsteps could be perceived as she run downstairs
to the kitchen. Soon, she was in clear view, and a look of surprise was clearly
implanted on her face.
"I-I a-am not definite of what I am articulating,"
Warbler moaned, his words weaving with a tone of panic.
Cassie took hold of her Grarrl's shoulders and
shook him, as if it would help him spit the words out of his mouth. 'Warbler,
are you sure you're all right," she said distinctively, each word loud
Warbler shook his head, tears forming in his
eyes. "I am not relatively certain, Cassie. I do not know what to do."
Cassie brushed a few locks of auburn hair away
from her eyes. Her eyes held a feeling of panic and terror. "Do you know how
there's any possible way you could have gotten this…sickness?"
Nodding his head, Warber sniffed as he gazed
at the table. "I-I consumed, 'The Ultimate Vocabulary and Synonym Book,' that
I acquired from Neoschool."
His owner moaned, and clutched Warbler tightly
in her arms. "Don't worry," she said, her mouth centimeters away from his ear.
"We'll get you help right away. Everything will be fine."
"I hope so Cassie. I can not stand this," Warbler
The clouds were grey and moody as Warber and
Cassie exited the house. The two were feeling depressed and anxious from this
problematic situation, and the weather certainly displayed their emotions.
"Where are we departing to?" Warbler asked as
he shivered slightly under the chilly weather.
Cassie heaved a sigh, taking long strides down
the sidewalk. "Kauvara," she briskly replied. "She's the only one who will know
how to sort a situation like this."
Warbler nodded. "Kauvara? She provides me the
It wasn't long before the clear image of Kauvara's
Magic Shop in the Neopian Bazaar came into sight for Warbler and Cassie. They
were walking more quickly then usual, for they wanted this big dilemma to just
disappear instantly. Once stepping inside, the pair perceived a melodic little
tinkle from a bell above, and out came Kauvara from the closet with her large,
"Hello!" she greeted them politely. "How may
I be a service to you two?"
Cassie stepped up to the counter, looking more
distressed then ever. "We need your help," she immediately stated, slamming
down a pile of gold Neopoints on the oak counter. "My Grarrl, Warbler, is having
a slight problem with his…speaking."
Kauvara raised an eyebrow, and turned her attention
to Warbler. "Let me hear you talk," she said.
"I am in an immense quandary at the moment, and
I require you to repair it," Warbler mumbled.
Kauvara laughed, and then realized that doing
this wasn't very professional when Cassie shot her a glare. "Hmm, well it seems
to me that you must have eaten and swallowed something that contained all these
Cassie nodded. "He did. The Ultimate Vocabulary
and Synonym Book."
A glint of amusement flashed in Kauvara's eyes.
"Well, the cure for this sickness is quite simple, but may take some time to
"We'll do anything," Cassie said. "Just as long
as everything goes back to normal."
"Well," Kauvara began, "I happen to know a little
nifty book out there called, 'Everything That You Wanted to Know about Complicated
Vocabulary and Synonyms Is NOT In Here!' ".
"I'll take it!" Cassie exclaimed, shooting up
her hand. "Where is it?!"
"I have it with me. Quite fun and amusing to
read, but only for ones that like humor."
Cassie pursed her lips. "Sounds enjoyable," she
"Well, the price for it is eighty-five thousand
Neopoints. But since you two seem to be in quite a pickle, I'll lower it to
sixty-five thousand. Sound like a deal?"
The adolescent nodded. "Yes, yes, a deal. Now
give it to me!"
Kauvara rolled her eyes, and made her way to
the back closet. A couple of seconds later, she re-appeared with a leather-bound
book in her hands. The humorous title was imprinted on it clearly with glittery
gold. "Here you go, miss. All your Warber here has to do is eat this book, and
he'll be back to normal."
Warbler gasped. "Not a chance, hoodwink! That
tome has a leather swathe. I only eat hardbacks!"
"Yes, I know Grarrl's hate leather," stated Kauvara,
"but it's the really the only way that you can get back your normal vocabulary."
A sigh emitted from Warbler's mouth. "I see.
Well, if that's what must be accomplished, then of course I'll do it.
Kauvara flashed him a cheesy grin. "Great! Good
"I cannot do it. I just cannot."
Sweat formed on Warbler's brow as his beady eyes
stared at the book that lay on the kitchen table.
Cassie gave him a little pat on his shoulder,
and said in an assuring tone, "Yes you can, Warbler. I know that it's going
to be horrifically disgusting, but you can do it."
"Wow, I applaud you for your faith and reassurance.
Just what I necessitate."
"I'm trying to help, but I don't want to lie
to you. I know it's going to be gross," stated Cassie.
Warbler gulped, and took hold of the book. It
almost looked like a thin crust of mucus and boogers combined were layered all
around the book. The worst feeling ever jumped around in Warbler's stomach.
It was one of disgust and terror.
"W-what if I garrote on the volume?" whimpered
Warbler. "What if I…die?"
An annoyed expression formed on Cassie's face.
"You won't. Just eat it, and we'll be done with this."
Shaking, Warbler put the entire book in his mouth,
and pressed down. Immediately, a rotten taste that felt slimy, yet crunchy,
and slithery ran down the Grarrl's tongue. He gagged, and hopped around the
"Iw wo gwoos!" Warbler moaned.
"Eat it!" snapped Cassie. "Now! Or no dessert
for you for a week!"
Warbler's eyes bulged in terror, and he miraculously
swallowed the book in whole. A feeling of pain sped through Warbler's chest
as he felt the book take much of its space.
"Finally, you did it! I thought you were
going to take forever!"
"Oh gosh, that was disgusting," muttered Warbler.
"Worst tasting thing ever." Suddenly, his face lit up. "Omegee, I can talk NORMALLY!
I CAN TALK NORMALLY! YAY!"
"Good. Now I'll be expecting you to finish ALL
of your homework for tomorrow, Warbler," snapped Cassie. "All right?"
Warbler stopped in his tracks. He stood still
for a second, and then began shaking.
"Oh, what is it now?" groaned Cassie. "You keep
All of a sudden, Warbler shot open his mouth,
and out came a mound of vomit, landing directly on top of Cassie's head. He
closed back his mouth instantly. "Sorry," he piped, scared out of his wits.
Cassie stood still in shock.
This is a little simple tale that I wrote on a Saturday night, so that explains
everything. ;P Anyway, Neomails, like always, are appreciated.