The world of Neopia is what I like to call an economical world. A marketing world.
A world filled with what normal creatures like to call jobs. And for those weird
people, it’s what they like to call fun. Getting a job out there in Neopia is
a toughie, and can take tons of perseverance, determination, and hard work. Isn’t
it odd that you must put hard work to get a hardworking job just to get some hard-earned
cash? It certainly does boggle the weak mind. But unfortunately, work must be
done to have a better-suited lifestyle for you and your family. I mean, it’s not
like having one-hundred and ninety games out there that you can play three times
each will give you enough Neopoints! HONESTLY, the odor in that building is horrifically
bad as well, so a good employment is what fits most creatures. But like I said
before, it can be difficult to get one, so as always, Dr. Blub has come to the
rescue to whisk you away in a cookie batter that’ll come out with the words, ‘JOB,
JOB, JOB AND HOW I’LL HELP YOU GET ONE IN NEOPIA! EAT ME AND DIE!’.
Faerieland: The Employment Agency
Leave it to the faeries to be the ones who actually manage to set up an Employment
Agency (knock, knock, Neopia Central). Its run by these little slips of metallic
paper called ‘coupons’. They’re ridiculously priced, so if you’re good at getting
random events, don’t be expecting to get this baby any time soon. However, you
can also get one of the basic free jobs, which provides you with a great profit
(OMG, 100NP, SQUEE). But beware when on the run with one of these jobs. Those
faeries will be staring at you with the freakiest eyes EVER. PERIOD.
Space Station: Slothy Time!
Oh, you know you’re just waiting to be gobbled up with employment once stepping
into this place. No, seriously, Florg will eat you up like a cracker as one
of his munchies. But if you manage to dodge him, then Slothy will be awaiting
you with one of his own jobs. Ever wanted to work for Sloth and be one of his
loyal, trustworthy, and honest minions? Probably not, but who’s going to care?
Him? Pft, if he cares about his underwear’s color, you know he’s not gonna’
care about you. I’ll admit it, from what I’ve heard, his jobs aren’t too fun,
but you do get zapped into an awesome Mutant Grundo and your brain shrinks to
the size of a peanut! Fun!
Lost Desert: Sunshine Valley
If you just loooove to sink underneath sand, consume twenty glasses of water
per day, or live in a tent, Lost Desert offers everything that you want plus
ten-times more. The Food Stall is always willing to hire creatures, since they’ve
had a shortage of employees for the past six years. Swarm is out of the question,
Osiris Pottery is a much too delicate area, and you need twenty bags of bandages
for the Petpet Stall. But I’ve heard from this friend of a friend of a cousin
of a sister of mine that Lost Desert is looking from some assistants for the
next Murder Mystery! They’ve been waiting for decades, but I’m sure someone
will eventually turn up soon.
Honestly, I’m at a loss for words for this snippet of Tyrannia. They seem to
be centuries away from the modern world of today, so it’s a wonder that creatures
actually work there. Tyranu Evavu will never offer jobs since the employees
are zombies, Chia Bomber is much too dangerous with *gasp* water balloons, the
Ticket Booth will get you crushed, Kacheekers is plain freaky, and the rest
seems to be faint in the mind (‘cept for Volcano Run, mind you; I just couldn’t
seem to grasp what kind of species that creature was).
Mystery Island: Exotic Occupations Await You
I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for Mystery Island. It’s so…oh, how can I say it?
Non-mysterious. Sure, there was the big Techo Mountain Mystery, but it
can’t even be classified as that. More of like a Lenny Conundrum that actually
seems to make sense. Tiki Tours is always open for new employees. I mean, who
DOESN’T love drabbing on about Mystery Island’s supposed mysterious history
during the entire day? The Harbour isn’t too bad; you do nothing without the
pay. I’m rather fond of the Cooking Pot. Jhudiah is a top-notch manager, and
you get paid with explosions from the cooking pot. However, my personal favorite
is Tombola! The masked-dude isn’t offering positions currently, but it’s just
so fun to zap him in the ribs and say, “Taco, tomato!”
Haunted Woods: WARNING-DON’T WORK HERE
Don’t mind that warning. Some lunatic put it up, mumbling stuff about Edna
casting wicked spells and enchantments on him, or something like that. Anyway,
the Haunted Woods is a funkydelicio place to work at, in my opinion. There’s
ton of rewards from the quests that you can do (or you can call them jobs if
you’re trying to have a life) and if you’re lucky, they can pay incredibly handsome
amounts of items and cash. Take the Brain Tree for instance. He gives you valuables
just for answering his question! I’ve always known that brain is made out of
processed Meepits. And the Esophagor! Boy, who can forget the Esophagor? Gets
hungry .12 seconds after having a meal, which gives you many opportunities to
hand him his food. Once you do this, you’ll get that answer for the Brain Tree’s
question, which 75% of the population can’t seem to type in properly when heading
back to the Brain Tree. Other recommendations are Edna’s Tower (she’s special),
the Game Graveyard (hey, someone needs to dig up the graves and put the games
in there), and Carnival of Terror (oooh, Chia Clowns).
Meridell: Arr, This Be Where The Highest-Paying Jobs Be! Wait, that’s Krawk
Ah, Meridell, Meridell, Meridell. This place’s a bore. NO, to be completely
honest, little Keisha was the only special thing about it *sniff*. Good luck
going through an interview with Turmaculus. If you’re trying out for Turdle
Traces, it’ll be sunset by the time those Turdles manage to get to you. Illusen
will blast you into a pieces if you get closer then a foot away from her, Kiss
the Mortog is for the desperate, and Meri Acres Farm smells (not as much as
the Game Building, though). Avoid Meridell at all costs (but only if you’ve
come to visit Keisha, KEISHA).
Krawk Island: Thy Shall Be Where There Are No Jobs In Thee Place of Rambling.
Wait, that’s Meridell.
I’m really grooving Krawk Island. It’s got a homey feeling to it, and provides
tons of fun, care-free, and enjoyable jobs where you can sip (and I say that
lightly) some…whatever they like to drink. Food Club is soooo the place to go
right now if you want free food. It used to be King Skarl’s palace, but he got
depressed and started eating. The Academy is also another great place. You can
workout at the same time, and I’ve heard free dubloons are handed out to the
best employees (whee, extra cash). Krawk Fashion is for those creatures that
just have the worst fashion sense, and unfortunately, you need connections to
work at the Smuggler’s Cove. LOTS of speedy connections. And my favorite is
The Golden Dubloon. It’s a warm and cheery place that’s got tons of wild and
fanatic employees. Just the way I like it.
So, here we are at the end of our journey of employment. Unfortunately, I couldn’t
visit Kreludor because it was too far, I couldn’t visit Terror Mountain because
it was too high, and I couldn’t visit Neopia Central because it was just too
big (plus, all the jobs are already taken). So, in the end, this article should
have shown you that employment simply bites, and that playing games is a whole
lot more better (and I heard they’ve got a new air freshener system). Hehe,
ta-ta for now!
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