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Gargarox Isafuhlarg: A Life & Times


by honorrolle

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Gargarox Isafuhlarg: A Life & Times of the Virupets Legend

     Pets everywhere are falling over the deep-fried galactic… food mass, shocked over electric taco, and simply enthralled into immobility for the frozen block of sustenance. What do all of these dishes have in common? Why they are from Grundos Cafe, an eclectic joint, somewhat inconveniently located on the Virupets Space Station: Recreation Deck and run by none other than Gormball legend, Gargarox Isafuhlarg.

     What a name and what a reputation! This guy must have it all… well, except a gormball title. Known for his... unusual concoctions served at the cafe, he commonly complains that his under seasoned dishes are actually needing more Brangerplex. What Brangerplex actually is, what it looks like, smells like, and tastes like are actually quite the mystery. After an inquiry with the gourmet club, there is actually quite a lot of interest in identifying this ingredient specifically for future gourmet club entries. In over two thousand six-hundred Neopian world foods, there is not a single mention of this assumed delicacy, so perhaps it’s just as rare as a scowling sloth coin!

     Having quick reading in dire food circumstances, the Grundo Chef is rumored to possess a mysterious book that has been passed down from generation to generation, aiding sub-par Grundo chefs, eventually transforming dire dishes into absolute amazing high class dining. Though not many have seen the book, I cornered a particularly elusive purple grundo that trained under Isafuhlarg in the last few years and encouraged a chat. (No grundos were harmed in the making of this article, but a few great games of Zurroball were threatened). Not betraying my source, I did find out the book was quite extensive, with pages totalling over 52,000! Detailing ways to whip out intricate plates that would satisfy even the most picky foodie from available space station ingredients, oftentimes the recipes were quite involved requiring blending, baking, and icing each step of the way. One of the giant green Grundo’s most famous desserts- still a legend to this day- was a gigantic Iced Juppergy Cake and fourteen- count them- FOURTEEN Sporkleberry Surprises! Who could even match that, even with a recipe book?! Regardless, the massive book is the hunt of a Booktastic book-reading Neopet everywhere, since it is currently the only known book of its kind out there.

     Pets near and far often try Gargarox Isafuhlarg’s cafe to try to catch a rare tasting of his Vegetarian Sloth Wrap, Tofu Space Slug Soup, and Oblieratoes (AAAAHHHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!). There are currently 49 gourmet foods (and counting!) that Gargarox serves, and more coming each day with the help of the elusive and quite mysterious BOOK. Cheaper gourmet treats to try include Space Rock Soup (be careful of your teeth!), Oppressor Onions, and Galaxy Energy Drink (also enjoyed by a few low energy Kadoaties in the Kadoatery- something has to help keep them up all night crying).

     There are many things you could say about Gargarox Isafuhlarg, but slothful is not one of them. Not only does he keep a large variety of edible sustenance on the Recreation Deck of the Virupets Space Station, but he also enjoys the interesting pastime of Gormball! Insiders into the young Grundo’s childhood speak of a short green grundo that would always get picked last in grundo school… which unfortunately led to Gargarox actually being the BALL for Zurroball. Though he eventually developed quite a bit of skill in the game, he eventually gave up the sport to pursue other hobbies. After the return of Dr. Sloth, Isafuhlarg wasn’t sure how to cope with his emotions, and actually ended up stress cooking his way through 105 Lava Cake Recipes found at Booktastic Book, and consuming all 105 lava cakes by himself! After that, he had an alarming growth rate, and ended up sprouting up quite nicely, surpassing many of his peers in school, to the giant Grundo he is today. With his new physique, he was a shoo in for athletic competition in Neopia, but rather than the trauma of his Zurroball past, he was introduced to Gormball. He took a bite of his Gloof Stick, combed around his two antennae, and set out to attempt to achieve greatness on the Gormball field.

     With some surprise, Gargarox is not a natural Gormballer, he still enjoys the company while getting off space station now and again for tournaments. He even created a signature dish that won’t win any health food awards, but I’ve heard is mighty tasty- the legendary Deep-Fried Gormball. Not winning many Annual Gormball championships, Isafuhlarg is still a cult favorite among young Grundos and other Neopets at the space station. You can often find the Gargarox Gormball Action Figure always sold out in the Neopian Central Toy Shop around Christmas time for all the good little grundo boys and girls.

     Stamp connoisseurs near and far also go absolutely crazy over the Gargarox Isafuhlarg Stamp, desperately seeking it for eternal glory in their Virupets Space Station Stamp Collection. Coin collectors similarly enjoy the Gargaroxs Recipe Book Coin with another hint at the clandestine and high sought after recipe book!

     The large Grundo ran into a spot of trouble in the past with the notorious Petpet Protection League (but who hasn’t amIright?!) a few years back. After evil Dr. Sloth created Florg, and was subsequently thwarted, there wasn’t a whole lot of people that stepped up to take care of the giant beast. Gargarox somewhat begrudgingly helps out from time to time with Florg Care, even attempting to have other Neopians assist in the “game”, Feed Florg. Despite the Space Station wanting Gargarox to assist with Florg feedings (wait, what does Florg eat again?), Gargarox has always been much more focused on his Cafe and Gormball hobby.

     Whether grabbing the local rave of Oil and Nuts Slushie, Plate of Unidentifiable Meat or the bizarre Spudnick, we can all agree that Gargarox Isafuhlarg is an absolute staple in the Neopian community. Whether setting an example of how to balance hard work and play, or whipping up a local mouthwatering delicacy, this green Grundo is surely a Neopian to watch.

     

 
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