Making Your Mutant Neopet Feel At Home
Congratulations! Whether from a Transmogrification Potion or a lucky zap from the Lab Ray, you’re now the proud owner of a Mutant Neopet! Excited about the possible adventures you and your Mutant Neopet will go on, when you get home you may notice that your Mutant Neopet isn’t quite as thrilled as you are and having a hard time moving around. Even if that passes, over the next few days you notice your Mutant Neopet having difficulty with activities they used to do as a normal Neopet in their new body. This is a common occurrence with Mutant Neopets, it’s a tough transition as they essentially must relearn how to do everything and what they are like now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help! Over the years many Mutant-based products have been made to help a Mutant Neopet get over this personal hurdle and enjoying themselves again. Here’s:
MAKING YOUR MUTANT NEOPET FEEL AT HOME!
To show a Mutant friend that they belong,
Here are some gifts to help them get along.
The first big hurdle a Mutant Neopet experiences when coming home is that many of their old furniture doesn’t fit them anymore. Time to redecorate with these items that can handle all of their new Mutant Neopet’s needs:
ITEM: Creaky Mutant Bed
DESCRIPTION: "This bed creaks rather ominously even when nobody is sleeping in it."
HOW IT COMFORTS: Mutant Neopets have better hearing than your average Neopet, or rather more specified. What may be a "silent night" for us is a night full of whispers and distant footsteps as the Mutant Neopet interprets every sound as something to prey upon, keeping them from a good night’s rest (also Mutant Neopets generally don’t feel comfortable in pure silence; it makes them feel like THEY’RE being stalked). That’s why this bed creaks with an ominous echo, it drowns out the sounds from outside putting the Mutant Neopet’s hunter instinct at ease and letting it rest... sometimes at the expanse of its roommate (did I mention that the vibrations of the creaks travel through earplugs?).
ITEM: Mutant Chimney
DESCRIPTION: "This chimney might need a little more care when you feed it..."
HOW IT COMFORTS: Yes, you’re reading the description right. Unlike other chimneys which warm the house by burning logs or charcoal, the Mutant Chimney requires a different sort of subsistence. Feeding it any kind of leftover meat (and it has to be leftover, will spit out anything "fresh"; not that it still won’t take a bite at anything which gets too close) has it release a muggy wave of air. This is perfect for a Mutant Neopet whose skin easily gets dry either because of how liquids in its body are much thicker now or are made of an inorganic matter. Just be sure to brush its teeth after every use, it’s not only a sloppy eater but it also gets halitosis (Mutant Neopets don’t mind the smell, that is if they can even smell it over their own halitosis).
ITEM: Mutant Claw Chair
DESCRIPTION: "This chair might give you a massage while you sit in it."
HOW IT COMFORTS: As it turns out, this chair can give whoever sits in it a massage, you just need to be able to sit in it. That’s tougher than it sounds, as the Mutant Claw Chair tends to push off any normal Neopet that sits on it. To normal Neopets fighting with a chair sounds ridiculous, but to a Mutant Neopet, it’s a daily struggle. Mutant Neopets’ bodies aren’t usually made to "sit"; their body frame had deformed in a way that allows them to stand without their legs ever getting tired. When they try to sit it’s an awkward position and they roughly tussle around; if the chair is not built for it (which many aren’t) they tend to break them. The Mutant Claw Chair not only is made to handle the tussle, but as soon as the Mutant Neopet is sitting on it the claw hand helps keep them in position (it’s not that the chair isn’t pushing, it’s that the Mutant Neopet is shoving back giving it a nice massage).
ITEM: Mutant Desk
DESCRIPTION: "This rather scary looking desk seems to move of its own accord."
HOW IT COMFORTS: You may be asking what good is a desk that doesn’t stay in one spot? Well, what if you’re someone who doesn’t like staying in one spot? Such is the case with the Mutant Neopet, many who have a hard time staying still either because they just don’t want to or because they can’t. Hard to just settle down and do something at your desk when your body wants to do the exact opposite. That’s why they need a desk that does the opposite of what a desk does, at least the part about it staying still. Now as your Mutant Neopet wanders around the room, the Mutant Desk isn’t far behind giving them a chance to do some work on it until their body feels like getting up and moving again. I would suggest keeping it in your Mutant Neopets room. The last thing you want happening in the middle of the night when going to the bathroom is for a desk to suddenly appear in your path and banging your knee or getting your foot stepped on.
Mutant Door Mat (This doormat doesn't need to be washed very often, and actually prefers not to be.)
Oozing Mutant Rug (I wouldn't wipe your feet on this rug, who knows what you might pick up.)
HOW IT COMFORTS: Two different kinds of floor adornments, but each give a Mutant Neopet a feeling they’re "home". The Mutant Door Mat does this in two ways: For a Mutant Neopet that is returning home its horrific appearance greeting "WELCOME" is truly a welcoming sight for one who also is equally horrific looking. Second, for a guest coming into the home who may not know a Mutant Neopet lives there, the mat serves as an alert that whoever has walked up to the door is about to meet a friendly Mutant Neopet. However, both the mat and especially the rug offer a service to a Mutant Neopet. Mutant Neopets tend to build up a lot of grime on their feet, whether off the floor or something they naturally make. The Mutant Door Mat is extra absorbent as it absorbs the excess grime the Mutant Neopet has from being outside. The Oozing Mutant Rug has a harder job, the mat only needs to clean the Mutant Neopet’s feet when it comes home, but the rug has to keep their feet clean the entire time they’re home otherwise leave footprints of grime all over. They are truly a piece of irreplaceable furniture for any home with a Mutant Neopet... not that all residents in the home may agree if they’re not paying attention and unwittingly step onto either, the ooze substance isn’t (believed to be) harmful but certainly is sticky and smelly.
ITEM: Mutant Lamp
DESCRIPTION: "This lamp probably won't give off very much light and may ooze all over your floor."
HOW IT COMFORTS: Not many know this, but direct light isn’t good for a Mutant Neopet. They can walk around in the daylight just fine, but they are slightly weakened and any other source of light will repel them. This can make nighttime reading of a favourite book (more about those later on) hard even if they have night vision (they can see the shape of the book, but not the letters on the page). Here comes the Mutant Lamp to solve the problem! If you’re expecting the Mutant Lamp to generate the light then you’re going to be disappointed, but that ooze it makes isn’t just there for show. The ooze is bioluminescent and after a few moments being exposed to indirect light will start to glow a bright yellow-green which Mutant Neopets aren’t repelled by. It lasts for a few hours, long enough for a Mutant Neopet to finish their late reading. Some normal Neopets have described the colour as "sickly" and it hurts their eyes only looking at it for a few seconds, but a Mutant Neopet's eyes are used to filtering out strong light so to them the bioluminescent glow is no different than natural light to a normal Neopet.
Mutant Loveseat (Once you sit in this loveseat you might have trouble getting out...)
Mutant Sofa (Some people say pets who sit on this sofa disappear, but you don't believe that nonsense right?)
HOW IT COMFORTS: If you’re a Mutant Neopet than sitting on any normal seat with fabric isn’t a good idea. If you’re a normal Neopet then sitting on these mutant seats is an equally bad idea. But, just as a Normal Neopet is highly advised to seat on the normal seats, Mutant Neopets will sit very comfortably on these seats. Both seats secrete slime similar to the "mucus" Mutant Neopets create, but in actuality, it’s the opposite. For a normal Neopet there doesn’t feel to be a difference, they’ll get stuck on the loveseat or feel they’re slipping between the cushions of the sofa. However, the seat’s slime and Mutant Neopet’s mucus nullify each other, or rather are unable to mix creating a barrier between seat and Mutant Neopet. They can set on, sleep, even do a headstand if they want to on them and not get caught like normal Neopets. And with the seats not getting "ruined", it offers the Mutant Neopet a nice spot in the living room, den, or wherever they can sit back and relax with everyone else. Though you may want to keep cleaning wipes nearby for when something no doubt gets lost in-between the cushions (and hopefully not one of your other Neopets).
ITEM: Mutant Mirror
DESCRIPTION: "This mirror distorts your image, maybe for the better, maybe not."
HOW IT COMFORTS: The description gives a major hint in how this distorted mirror comforts a Mutant Neopets. When a Mutant Neopet walks up to the mirror, they’ll be surprised to see their body looking like a normal member of their species just with the colours and additional traits (spikes, fangs, claws, etc.) that the Mutant Colour gave them. It’s good for the early days of them being a Mutant Neopet as it reminds them they are still themselves and as they grow confident they would look at themselves in the mirror less and less. As for if a normal Neopet looks into the mirror, that’s where the "maybe not" comes into play. No matter at what angle they approach the mirror what’s going to be looking at them wouldn’t even be considered a Mutant Neopet. Such descriptions are better left to the imagination.
OTHER MUTANT FURNITURE THEY’LL NEVER STOP USING: Mutant Drawer, Mutant Rocking Chair, Mutant Table, Mutant Tongue Table
It’s not just their outer appearance that has changed. No, I’m not talking about their personality (though that could slightly change depending on their sense of self), what I’m talking about is their stomach, appetite, and taste. Mutant Neopets tend to quickly learn what they like and don’t like to eat, but until then here are some "delicious" mutant meals they’re sure to gobble up:
ITEM: Bag of Mutant Gummies
DESCRIPTION: "Each shape is a different flavour!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: Like anyone, Mutant Neopets love candy. But not sweet candy. Nor sour candy. Even bitter candy doesn’t scratch a Mutant Neopet’s candy itch. It can be quite difficult for a Mutant Neopet to enjoy candy like an ordinary Neopet; luckily these gummies are exactly the flavours Mutant Neopets love! The Jetsam tastes like cherry stems, Techo tastes like blue poisonberry, Grundo tastes like limestone, Buzz tastes like banana peels that have been stepped on, Quiggle taste like the artificial grape flavour that kids medicine have, and the Kiko is one of a few mystery flavours the mould growing underneath your kitchen appliances resemble. This candy also won’t hurt Non-Mutant Neopets, unless they don’t like rotting flavours.
ITEM: Mutant Apple
DESCRIPTION: "This apple probably wouldn't keep the doctor away!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: It won’t keep the doctor away... unless you’re a Mutant Neopet! The biology of a Mutant Neopet requires them to create a lot of mucus-like substances (only something as thick as mucus can travel through a Mutant Neopet’s body to deposit the vitamins and minerals it needs) and making guttural noises (the gyration of making the noise makes it easier for the "mucus" to travel throughout its body). The Mutant Apple’s juices become a thick goop when mixed with another liquid, making the Mutant Neopet’s "mucus" stronger and last longer. The hairs on its surface tickle the Mutant Neopets throat, having it give out a deep chortle moving the "mucus" through its body at a faster pace. Even the acidic leaf and rock hard stem help with cleaning & sharpening their sharp teeth. Meanwhile, if a normal Neopet has eaten one, please do take them to a doctor.
ITEM: Mutant Asparagus
DESCRIPTION: "No asparagus should be blue with purple stripes..."
HOW IT COMFORTS: Is it blue with purple stripes or purple with blue stripes? Well, either way, while healthy green vegetables may drive away younger Neopets, Mutant Neopets no matter what age can’t get enough of any food that’s the wrong colour. Luckily their stomachs can handle most anything, but an owner may still be worried their growing Mutant Neopet may not be getting the nutrition they need. The Mutant Asparagus has every benefit a normal asparagus has so is a great treat for any Mutant Neopet. Mutant Neopet tested, owner (tentatively) approved, normal Neopet queasy.
ITEM: Mutant Brain Slushie
DESCRIPTION: "When Hubrid Nox created undead slaves, someone created this slushie with the brains of those slaves."
HOW IT COMFORTS: It’s not just zombies who enjoy brain food... that is actually brain! Well, actually, it is, but Mutant Neopets don’t seem bothered by eating them as a normal Neopet would be (guess for them a mind isn’t such a terrible thing to taste). That could also be due to this not just being a normal brain but a mutated brain via Hubrid Nox’s dark magic (and since it was mutated a completely different way than with a Transmogrification Potion it’s not that icky as you think it is, even a Mutant Neopet will note a slight hint of magic no other Mutant-based food possesses). So while all your other Neopets have to share their slushies with each other, let your Mutant Neopet feel special by getting it the only slushie it’s willing to drink. Now that’s using your brain!
ITEM: Mutant Cheese Pizza Slice
DESCRIPTION: "Topped with four delicious flavours of mutant cheese."
HOW IT COMFORTS: Much like other flavours, the various cheeses normal Neopets have parties to taste and use as fondue have lost their charm (it would for you too if you smelled like stinky cheese 24/7). Most Mutant Neopets would likely say the food they missed the most is pizza... they would, but they don’t have to with a Mutant Cheese Pizza Slice! Not made by Pizzaroo but by a Mutant Blumaroo imitator, they’ve kept the four mutant cheese flavours a secret. Mutant Neopets have described the flavour being how they remembered cheese tasting plus with an extra gooey texture; just how they like it! Meanwhile, no normal Neopet has been able to give a description as they rush to the bathroom after one nibble, closest was "it took two hours to get the taste out of my mouth, and an hour and a half of that was just brushing the slime off!".
ITEMS: Mutant Cracker, Mutant Crepe, Mutant Cupcake, & Mutant Pancakes
DESCRIPTION FOR ALL OF THEM: "Looks like someone spilt a Transmogrification Potion in the Bakery!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: A unique set of food due to them sharing the same description which also tells of their shared origin: a Transmogrification Potion spill in the Bakery. WAIT! Before you rush out hoping for a cheap way to morph your Neopet into Mutant, obviously the potion’s effect has been used up. All you’re left with now is a likely-not-so-sweet sweet that’ll at most twist around a normal Neopets tongue, but Mutant Neopets love them! Made with the same stuff that made them, at least you don’t have to worry about them turning into a Mutant.
ITEM: Mutant Ketchup
DESCRIPTION: "The bottle has no information about the ingredients that went into this sauce. You'll just have to taste it and figure out for yourself, won't you?"
HOW IT COMFORTS: One aspect of food many take for granted are condiments. An individual’s ability to adjust a meal’s taste to make it enjoyable to them without changing it for everyone else is a very notable, if not small, luxury. Sadly, Mutant Neopets’ tastes have changed so that, to them, condiments aren’t as flavour-changing as they once were. It’s a major downside losing so many options to make one's food taste better... but it’s not a total loss. Enter Mutant Ketchup, which isn’t really "ketchup" as we know it but is called "ketchup" as it’s used by Mutant Neopets for nearly every food a normal Neopet would put ketchup on. It’s not much, but a Mutant Neopet will appreciate at least having one condiment it can reach for in the fridge or at the table. And if you’re wondering, of the various ways normal Neopets have tried to describe the flavour, this anonymous quote I feel gets the point across: "Imagine putting pure extract of flavours like salty, sour, tangy, spicy, etc. on your tongue all at once and those flavours then getting sentience and start playing tug-a-war with your tongue; and then there’s the texture...".
ITEM: Mutant Negg
DESCRIPTION: "Eww gross, this Negg looks disgusting!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: Neggs are one of the most iconic items on Neopia. There are SO many varieties that you can find one for just about any occasion. And there’s a Mutant Negg among them. It’s no different from any other Negg when you take a closer inspection, but that’s what makes it so great for Mutant Neopets. There are plenty of Mutant Neopets who either have or once had a Mutant Negg as a keepsake. It’s a simple analogy: If Mutant Negg is a Negg like any other Negg, then surely a Mutant Neopet is a Neopet like any other Neopet. Special in their own way but not to be treated as if it’s no longer what it was once was. Granted, if you think about it the message gets a bit muddled as Mutant Neggs are grown as such and the item description emphasizes its drastic appearance, but it’s the thought that counts. Besides, a Mutant Neopet knows about their grossness and others disgusted reactions towards them; many Mutant Neopets look forward to it with a mischievous glee and rebellious attitude.
Mutant Tchea (The blue bits of this Tchea fruit taste horrible and so do the yellow bits!)
Mutant Tigersquash (A far cry from your normal Tigersquash, this tastes disgusting and has tentacles and fur!!!)
Mutant Ummagine (Oh dear, this Ummagine doesn't look too appetising...)
HOW IT COMFORTS: Like with the condiments, other loss tastes may include popular food items from the various Neopian lands that are enjoyed by almost everyone. Not all have a "Mutant" option, so it’s a real treat when one does such as with these Lost Desert fruit. The descriptions were clearly written by a normal Neopet, not surprising as there isn’t a lot of Mutants in a land that has the sun beating down on them every second of the day. To a Mutant Neopet, you may as well apply the descriptions of the original Tchea, Tigersquash, and Ummagine to their mutant counterparts. Well, that’s an oversimplification, but it’s nothing a Mutant Neopet is concerned with so neither should you.
OTHER MUTANT FOODS THEY’LL LOVE TO DEVOUR: Mutant Carrot, Mutant Doughnut, Mutant Hot Dog, Mutant Lollipop Assortment, Mutant Milkshake, Mutant Toast, Tall Stack of Mutant Pancakes
TOYS & HOUSEHOLD ITEMS:
Got new furniture and a full fridge, with those two basic needs covered next thing your Mutant Neopet would want is entertainment and other quality of life items you find around a home:
ITEM: Mix and Match Mutant Puzzle
DESCRIPTION: "Even if you match them up right, they still look mutated!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: Despite popular belief, Mutant Neopets are very aware of their appearance. This can make a Mutant Neopet feel a bit awkward in their unusual body, so you may need to remind them how looking different isn’t a bad thing. The Mix and Match Mutant Puzzle had been used by Mutant Neopet owners for years to help their Mutant Neopet feel normal in their bodies. At first glance, even a matching set looks like a mismatch, but when you start matching other Mutant Neopet heads, body, and legs together do you see how a Mutant Neopet’s unique parts do come together in a way that makes sense (at least for that Mutant Neopet). The lesson it teaches is that a Mutant Neopet does fit together, and if it fits together, then who says they can’t fit in with other Neopets?
ITEM: Mutant Fountain Pen
DESCRIPTION: "Writes in the most disgusting ink imaginable."
HOW IT COMFORTS: One way to make yourself unique (and not for your appearance) is to have a special way of writing. For some it’s the way they put words and sentences together, others how they convey a thought or theme, there’s even those who created their own font. But there aren’t many whose literary calling card is the ink they use, and this pen gives any Mutant Neopet their own unique ink: their own "mucus"! Even if two or more Mutant Neopets use the Mutant Fountain Pen, each ink will be different as the Mutant Neopets have to create it themselves. I wouldn’t suggest writing in a book with it, but it gives your Mutant Neopet the opportunity to write some notes, poetry, maybe even draw something in the only way they can. Just be sure they wash their hands after they’re done (and your hands and anyone else’s that touched the paper; doesn’t matter how careful you held the paper, you’ll get "mucus" ink on you some way or another).
ITEM: Mutant Hair Brush
DESCRIPTION: "Only true mutants would dare putting something like this against their hair."
HOW IT COMFORTS: By now you probably got that a Mutant Neopet’s biology is much more "tougher" than a normal Neopet’s. This of course extends into their hair and fur (and in some cases feathers and scales). The Mutant Hair Brush’s bristles are made sturdy to straighten out and avoid getting tangled in the wild beast a Mutant Neopet’s hair and fur has become. It’s also good for pluming feathers and scraping clean scales of the Mutant Neopets who has those. It’s a small thing, but if a Mutant Neopet has a way to keep their appearance tidy they’ll feel less like a sore thumb that’s sprouting wild hair. As for normal Neopets, the only use they have for this brush is if they use it in the Battledome as a makeshift spiked cudgel.
ITEM: Mutant Tentacle Toothpaste
DESCRIPTION: "Are you supposed to put that on your toothbrush?!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: Now the image can be deceiving. If you use it like a normal tube of toothpaste of course it’s going to come out looking wrong. It takes a Mutant Neopet to use this product at its full effectiveness. First, the tube is meant to withstand a crushing grip. A Mutant Neopet crushes the tube with all their might, causing the tentacle inside to tube to be cut into pieces instead of one long tentacle. While a strong normal Neopet can do this as well, brushing with this gives them no benefit. The tentacle acts as a bonding agent for the goop that’s good for a Mutant Neopet’s teeth. As they brush the tentacle is shredded & dissolves which releases the goop it has absorbed that is then directly deposited into the Mutant Neopet’s teeth. A lot of a Mutant Neopets world revolves around their teeth, for better or for worse, so good dental hygiene will keep them happy and safe... same cannot be promised for whatever their teeth is used on.
OTHER MUTANT ITEMS THEY’D WANT TO OWN: Mutant Evil Fuzzle, Mutant Gluestick, Mutant Golf Club, Mutant Pencil Case, Mutant Tape, Mutant Tentacle Hair Brush
What more would a Mutant Neopet want or need?
ITEM: Mutant Petpet Paint Brush
DESCRIPTION: "Take this repulsive Paint Brush to the Petpet Puddle and something horrible may happen to your Petpet!"
HOW IT COMFORTS: Any Petpet Shopkeeper will sell you on this saying: Neopet friends have their own lives, but a Petpet friend wants to be a part of your life. Petpets are loyal to their owners and would do anything they could to cheer them up; they’re perfectly happy to become an abomination if it means their Mutant Neopet owner would have a friend on their side they could relate to (some tend to act like little monsters anyway so no major change aside from their appearance). As of writing this article, there are 112 Petpets which can be painted with the Mutant Petpet Paint Brush. With a wide variety to choose from, there’s little doubt that there’s at least one Mutant Petpet who’ll match with your Mutant Neopet. And this is one mutant item where normal Neopets are also able to join in if they happen to find a Mutant Petpet they like (though they still need to be careful; their personalities may not change but Mutant Petpets still develop sharp fangs, claws, and spikes... and Petpets like to cuddle with their owners).
Mutant Musings (Ever wonder what mutants think about? Find the answers here!)
The Mischevious Mutant Tonu (The sad tale of a Mutant Tonu and his journey to find himself.)
The Mutant Kougras Exile (His only crime was being a mutant Kougra...)
Twisted Tales Of The Mutant Ruki (Life was never dull when you were born a mutant, as one little Ruki found out.)
HOW IT COMFORTS: A good way to help a Mutant Neopet feel more comfortable is by showing them they’re not the only Mutant Neopet who feels the way they do. Many books have been written on Mutant Neopets, and I’m not talking about the ones where they’re written as a villain. Take these four suggestions for example. Mutant Musings is a yearly updated census of the Mutant Neopet population, each chapter focused on a different species’ thoughts, opinions, personal experiences, and relations. The Mischievous Mutant Tonu is a hard-hitting tale about how Mutant Neopets are usually treated by close-minded individuals as they look for someplace where they’ll be accepted. Similarly, The Mutant Kougras Exile takes that theme a step further by having the main character accused of several crimes and must prove their innocence by solving them and showing there’s more to them than their Mutant Colour. Finally, the Twisted Tales of the Mutant Ruki takes an interesting approach by having the main character born as a Mutant Neopet, flipping stereotypes on their head as it’s now being applied to a child instead of an adult. Many Mutant Neopets form a strong connection with these books for how they connect with the Mutant Neopet experience. This shouldn’t be too surprising, the authors of these books are all Mutant Neopets.
On these books is probably the best place to stop. I can keep going on and on, but each Mutant Neopet is an individual so what they need to feel comfortable can be different from another Mutant Neopet, even one of the same species. It’s your responsibility to help them through this; you’re family after all as well as any brothers and sisters they may also have (as they too would need to get used to their sibling being a Mutant). Also, none of these items are a magic wand; they’re not going to make your Mutant Neopet instantly comfortable. It’s going to take time and support, and what’s a better comforting feeling than knowing your loved ones are there for you. P.S.: If your Mutant Neopet shed a few tears from that sentiment please be careful, some Mutant Neopets cry acid.