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EE`s Expert Edginess Guide


by alli_draggy

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You are filled with angst and rage. You seem to be the only person who understands how deep your problems are. But no one listens to you when you try to express yourself honestly. How do you get yourself listened to? How do you make friends who understand your deep, dark feelings? How do you show that you’re special and non-conformist, but not enough to be dangerous? The answer is simple: Edge. The name’s EE0, and I’m here to help you explore your true, edgy potential and reinvent yourself into a new, darker, clearly better version thereof.

     ???: Uh, EE? What does this have to do with performing arts?

     EE0: Look, Lunoir, at its core, an edgy phase is just a persona, it isn’t someone’s real self. It’s pretty much acting except no one knows that you’re acting and you can never stop.

     ???: My name isn’t “Lunoir”, and you know that. It’s MooNsHinEdARK.

     EE0: Well, Lunoir’s catchier. For the purpose of this article, I’ll be calling you Dark for short. And this is really about performing arts, not only the wannabe edgelord acting themself, but we’re also going to be talking about which bands are acceptable to listen to.

     Dark: Okay, whatever. But before you start giving the reader your whole self-help seminar on “Edge”, you should probably explain who you are and what makes you an academic authority on the subject.

     EE0: Ah, you’re right. Well, hello, reader. I’m EE0, well-known throughout Neopia as a...life coach of sorts. I’ve helped hundreds of Neopets take the guesswork out of discovering who they are, and I’ve seen nearly every kind of edge there is, so I would say I’m an expert on the subject. That’s what my name stands for: EE, the Edginess Expert.

     Dark: No one calls you that.

     EE0: And this is MooNsHinEdARK, or Dark for short, although I prefer to call her Lunoir, my assistant. She’s a student at the University of Faerieland and will provide a more academic perspective on the science of edginess.

     Dark: I never agreed to this.

     EE0: Hey, there are far worse things you could be getting college credit for. Anyway, the readers don’t want to hear about us. They want to get started on being edgy. So let’s get to it!

     

     Your fabulous hosts, EE0 (left) and MooNsHinEdARK (right)

     What Is Edginess, Anyway?

     Edginess or Edge is the noun form of the word “edgy”, something boring people use to describe anything that offends their boring sensibilities.

     Dark: EE, there’s more to it than that.

     Ok, right. Let me see...I took a sociology class once, so I’ve got this. “Edgy” implies a very specific kind of non-conformism, one which goes against social norms but doesn’t completely violate them, pushing the edge, so to speak, of what’s acceptable. It’s used as a blanket term for various subcultures, but doesn’t refer to any specific culture or aesthetic. It’s probably existed as long as culture itself has, and takes many forms depending on what it’s trying to defy. We aren’t going to discuss any particular subculture or variant of edginess in this guide, rather, we’re going to give you the explanations and basic concepts of edginess to allow you to explore it on your own terms. Because of its highly variable nature based on individual and cultural concepts, the word “edgy” is hard to define, so this is the closest rule we can create for what edginess generally means, which you can apply to your own concepts.

     Think of a social group which you belong to, for example, a fan club or your owner’s other Neopets.

     If what you’re doing makes members of this group scared or concerned, but not enough to kick you out, you probably count as “edgy” within the context of that group.

     With this attempt at understanding what exactly being edgy is, or what we’re saying is edgy for the purpose of this article, let’s get into your possible motivations and make sure you know what you signed up for when you decided to read this.

     Why Be Edgy?

     As we said in the beginning, edginess is a commitment. It’s basically acting, except you’re going to be doing it all the time to people who know and care about you and can’t easily stop. You’re going to be deceiving people you love and who’ve known you for years, as well as making new friends. But those new friends don’t want to see you, they want to see a cooler version of you. You may be wondering “EE, your most magnificent edginess, if my new friends just want to see the cooler, edgier version of me, are they really my friends? All the books my owner used to read me tell me that I should be myself.”

     If you’ve gotten to this point, you might as well give up on those books. If you’re considering an edgy phase, you shouldn’t be thinking about making “real” friends or being yourself. The whole point of this whole thing is to get attention. You’re hoping that if what you say scares people enough, someone will finally listen. Are these people your real friends? No. Are you being yourself? No. But you’re going to get noticed and people will think that you’re cool and deep, and that’s probably what you want.

     Dark: Uh, EE, might I have a word? I took a couple of psychology classes as electives, and you’re not really explaining the full picture.

     EE0: Go right ahead, I’m sure our readers want to see a more academic explanation.

     Dark: All right. So, EE just said that if you’re having an edgy phase and doing it as a persona, or as she put it, acting except you can never stop, you’re not being yourself, which isn’t necessarily true. In fact, part of the whole reason edginess has existed as a concept as long as it has is that “being yourself” is rather ill-defined. The concept of edginess, and the aesthetics which go along with it, were popularized by teenagers. Adolescence is one of the most confusing and stressful times in a Neopet’s life. It’s when they figure out who they are and how they fit into their culture, as well as the first time they start learning about the problems with it and that not everything is perfect. Because adolescent Neopets start really questioning themselves and their social contexts for the first time, they may not act like themselves because they don’t really know who they are and need to separate their social groups’ expectations of them from who they are as an individual. Thus, they may have an “edgy phase” and temporarily go against their social group in an effort to explore new social groups and how they fit into the ones they belong to. By defying expectations for them, they can explore which of them are true and come out of their edgy phase with a better understanding of themselves. A teenage Neopet may not necessarily really know who they are, so it’s perfectly natural for them to try on personas and see what sticks. They’re supposed to grow out of an edgy phase, and if they don’t, that might be a warning sign, since going against cultural norms completely can result in worse life outcomes and difficulties in making friends and generally succeeding.

     EE0: Wow. That one psychology class you took really stuck. Anyway, she makes some good points. Edginess is a commitment, and don’t be surprised if you end up losing some friends since you aren’t acting like the person they expect you to be, but keep in mind that what you do to be edgy isn’t necessarily who you really are so much as a way of exploring the concept of “you”-ness by briefly being the anti-you. So if you’re comfortable in who you are, it may not be for you.

     What Does Edge Look Like?

     That depends entirely on where you are. Edge is, at its core, simply going against the norms of your social group, and what those are depends on your group. For example, if you live on the Darigan Citadel, wearing all black and red and being covered in spikes is normal, but if you did the same thing in Faerieland, that’d be edgy, and thus a cause for concern. If you want to have an edgy phase, the core question you need to ask yourself is who you’re trying to impress and basically, who you’re going against by your phase. Try asking yourself these questions to determine what your edgy phase may look like:

     1. Who decides things for you? Whose expectations are you expected to live up to? Who makes the rules and norms in your social group. For most Neopets, this will probably be their owner, or perhaps an older sibling or teacher.

     2. What does that person not like or say you shouldn’t do? Consider this wisely. Not everything is a good idea to defy, things like “don’t eat mouldy food”, even if they are societal norms, might not be healthy to go against. I wouldn’t recommend doing anything during an edgy phase that might harm yourself or others, this can create physical and social damage that can’t easily be recovered from. The most basic form of edgy phase uses aesthetics, and occasionally viewpoints. Whatever your rule-maker tells you to wear or create or listen to, don’t, and go against what they believe at every opportunity. If your rule-maker thinks the Darkest Faerie deserved to be imprisoned, get a Free the Darkest Faerie T-shirt. If your rule-maker loves Yes Boy Ice Cream, blast Twisted Roses and slam your door.

     3. What do you want people to think of you as? Do you want to be known as a sensitive, tormented artist? If so, even though they may both be described as “edgy”, that’s going to be a completely different persona from a dangerous rebel on a skateboard. If you’re looking to get a new social group, find some people you think of as edgy and try to gain their approval. Describe what you do to your rule-maker to them and judge their reactions. If they think what you did was cool, keep doing it. From this point onward, their opinions are the only ones that matter to you.

     You’re probably asking after Question 2, “But, EE, your fully legitimate magnificence, what if I actually like what my rule-maker approves of? Am I supposed to give up things I enjoy?”

     What I say to that is a resounding and definite yes. That’s not who you really are, that’s just what others say you should be! Abandon everything you love in favour of defying your rule-maker, it’s the only way to express your individuality! But you’re probably asking “Uh, EE, isn’t framing everything I do to defy my rule-maker still basing my entire personality around them?” What I say to that is that you should be quiet and listen to some non-rulemaker-sanctioned music.

     Dark: Uh, a word from your academic consultant? The purpose of an edgy phase is to expand one’s personality beyond the authority figure and to take initiative in life by rebelling against aspects of the authority figure’s rules that one objects to. Just objecting to everything the authority figure does isn’t going to help anyone grow as an individual, since as your hypothetical reader said, they’re still basing their entire personality around defying the authority figure rather than developing their own set of rules, which is what they really need to do to fully mature. Also, social groups are an important part of one’s identity, but satisfying them shouldn’t make up all of it. Social groups dissolve and change. If someone bases all of what they are around a group and then the group loses members or changes its norms, it can leave them feeling empty and isolated and damage their future relationships.

     EE0: Please stop talking, or writing, as the case may be. I’m the Edginess Expert. Not you. And I don’t care about my readers’ “proper development”. That’s their problem. I’m just trying to help them express their individuality by basing their entire personality around a poorly defined counter-culture.

     Dark: But if someone does as you suggest, their entire personality is going to be based around what they’re not and that they’re not like other Neopets. If you make someone’s personality based entirely around what they’re not, how are they supposed to figure out what they are?

     EE0: That’s irrelevant. I don’t care about my readers’ social lives or proper development. I care about whether they’re subservient to me. If I get this Edginess Guide out and popularized, I can get a whole generation of impressionable teenage Neopets completely serving me, doing whatever I tell them to do, or not do, as the case may be. By turning them completely against their social groups, I’m creating a generation of angry, angsty, alienated Neopets desperate for validation and meaning, which I’ll give them, turning them into my own personal edgelord army.

     Dark: You’re insane. You’re honestly going to destroy Neopets who just want to be cool and have friends so you can boost your own ego?

     EE0: Yes. Yes, I am. And I’m not destroying anyone, I’m just giving them a new identity, defined entirely by me. You can trust me, readers. I’m EE, your friendly Edginess Life Coach, and I’m here to help you. Now go abandon everything you love in favour of defiance and eagerly await my next article!

     With love,

     EE0: The Edginess Expert

 
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