Three Easy Steps to Being a Witch

     "Er, Penny," said the Lupe as he trotted up to her from across their NeoHome. She handed him a big bowl of the potion. "I think you're being a witch wrong."

     The Korbat gasped, taken aback, and adjusted her pointy hat in a huff. "What do you mean, Miles?" she asked crossly.

     "For one," he stated matter-of-factly, "all your potions are soup recipes." He greedily slurped down the contents of his bowl.

     She narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms across her chest, feeling the fabric of her plush black robes. "Witches have to start somewhere, little brother."

     "And that laugh of yours! It sounds more like an Angelpuss being tickled than a true cackle."

     The Korbat stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, well at least I have a familiar!" She reached down and picked up her Frogler, Casey.

     "That's just what I mean!" chastised the Lupe. "Your familiar is made of cardboard!"

     Penny pouted. She had wanted to be a witch for, like, a few months! Could she really give up her dream already?

     Miles noted his sister's crestfallen attitude. "Hey... What if you train under a real witch here in the Haunted Woods? Then you can learn some skills and techniques."

     "You mean, like, I should be an apprentice?" There was a renewed light in the Korbat's eyes.

     "Yeah!" The Lupe grinned.

     "Hmm..." Penny scratched her chin, contemplating her best course of action. "Oh!" The Korbat tented her fingertips in almost mischievous excitement. "I know just who to visit..."

     ***

     Step 1: Sass, Cackle, and Shop – Get Someone Else To Get What You Need

     The Zafara opened the door of her tower. "I'm searching for the missing ingredients for my latest spell... eheheheh," Edna began as she stared down at the little costumed Korbat. "If you find them for me I – hey, Halloween isn't until tomorrow, kid. Come back when you want to do a quest–"

     "No, you don't understand, Miss Edna!" Penny interrupted with a cute charismatic grin. "I do want to do a quest for you! You see, I'm a witch-in-training. Please teach me your secrets!"

     Edna scowled. "You look more like a soup maker m'dear–"

     "Pleeeeaaassseeeeee," the Korbat whined in that way only a kid can, that way that can get a kid anything.

     The Tower Witch grumbled. "Fine. Get me my ingredients and... I will reward you with some witchy knowledge!" She grinned a disgustingly saccharine grin.

     Penny squeed. "Yes yes Miss Edna! What do you need?"

     She cackled. This was too perfect. "No, thank you, Miss–?"

     "Penny," Penny said proudly.

     "Penny, sure," the witch replied, trying not to roll her eyes. "My spell needs a Blooppop, and will lose its potency in 1 hour and 42 minutes. Please hurry!"

     "Yes ma'am!" the Korbat finished with a salute as she dashed away from Edna's Tower.

     "Sucker," muttered Edna under her breath as she went back into her tower.

     Penny dashed as fast as she could to the Deserted Fairground. She didn't like coming here – it was kind of unsettling – but if she was going to be a witch, she needed to muster her courage.

     She ran to the Spooky Foods stall and scanned the shelves. "Ah!" she said as she flew up and retrieved the little black petpet on a stick – thank Ilere that she was born with wings or she'd never be able to reach up there! The Korbat grabbed the food item and held it up to the Bruce proprietor. "I need this for Edna!" she practically yelled at him.

     He just glared at her.

     "Come on, I only have 1 hour and 29 minutes left!"

     The Bruce sighed. "I won't take less than 12,955 Neopoints for it."

     "SOLD!" she exclaimed as she slammed her Neopoints on the counter. Yes, it had been her savings this past month – but it was a necessary sacrifice. Cry.

     The Bruce chuckled. Dumb kid. "I accept your offer of–"

     Penny flew out before he finished his sentence.

     She rapped on the doors of Edna's Tower and was soon greeted by the Tower Witch. "Hello my sweetie..." the Zafara drawled.

     "I have the ingredient!" the Korbat enthusiastically replied as she thrust the Blooppop up to her.

     Edna cackled as she popped the Blooppop into her mouth and sucked it. "I've been craving one of these for a while – it was almost like I was under a spell." She smiled wryly.

     The Korbat frowned. "Wait, I thought you were going to use it IN a spell and teach me what to do?"

     The Tower Witch took the Blooppop out of her mouth with a loud pop. "No, sweetie, I was going to teach you something much more valuable." She paused for dramatic effect as the corners of her mouth formed a crooked smile. "It's a vital part of being a witch. You need to be convincing, conniving, and," she continued with a practised grin and tip of her hat, "just a little sassy." She winked. "Why do for yourself what you can get some snivelling brat – er, helper to do for you? Just like I did with you, it is important to get others to collect the ingredients you need."

     Penny stared up at Edna with wide eyes as she realized the hands-on learning she had just unwittingly been through. "I am in awe of your power," the Korbat whispered.

     "Cute," the Zafara replied, not quite managing not to roll her eyes this time. But... she was cute, and deserved her training reward. "Anyway, be grateful for those who help you. Good help is so hard to find. Everyone needs a little help now and again – including yourself. Obviously," she added quickly. "But see, you don't have to get anything yourself – just promise your would-be quester some dumb or little thing and they will do your bidding."

     "Wowee," the Korbat uttered as she soaked in this knowledge.

     A pause.

     And then the Tower Witch's eye glinted. "But I'm not done with you yet."

     Edna stepped forward confidently. "Remember: being a witch isn't just about the potion making, but also about the attitude. Now, CACKLE!" She cackled. "Muahahaha! Now you try it!"

     "Me-ow-hee-hee!" giggled Penny.

     "No, girl, really put some throat into it!" Edna pushed.

     "Mu-AH-haaaa," the Korbat forced out.

     Edna shook her head. "Good attempt, but start from the belly and have a stronger finish!"

     "MUAHAHAHAAAAA!" the Korbat cackled away.

     The Zafara grinned widely. "Ah, music to my ears. You have what it takes to be a witch, sweetie!"

     They spent a solid minute cackling away like a couple of witches on Halloween night.

     Penny grinned. "Thank you Miss Edna for your invaluable advice!"

     "Any time, er...?"

     "Penny," Penny reiterated.

     "Yeah, right," Edna replied. "Now, if you DO want to learn how to make magical potions, I suggest you try pester – er, learning from a certain other witch I know..."

     ***

     Step 2: To Accrue A Review Of Stews And Brews

     The Ixi opened the door of her shack out in the swamp. "Oh, hello there," Sophie said as she scanned the Korbat up and down. "Halloween isn't until tomorr... wait, how the heck did you even find this place? I haven't had unknown visitors since–"

     "Edna gave me a very detailed map to your lovely albeit dirty swamp home," Penny interrupted proudly as she stepped in.

     The Swamp Witch muttered something under her breath and made a mental note to get that Zafara back for this.

     "So, what do you want from me?" Sophie inquired as she slumped down in her rocking chair. "An Elixir? An interview? Someone to buy your cookies?"

     Penny frowned. "Oh, no, Miss Sophie." She grinned and spun around, her black robes making a swooshing sound.

     "I am Penny," the Korbat confidently said. "Witch-in-training!"

     The Ixi raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "You're a bit... 'magical girl' to be a witch."

     "Magical girl?" asked Penny curiously. "I think that's the point, no?"

     Sophie rolled her eyes. And then she paused, considering this. "Well, I mean, it's been a while since I had company – besides my blessed Meowclops, of course – and my wand could use a rest... eh, why not?" She shrugged, and stood up, smiling at her.

     Of course, Penny didn't hear anything after one particular word: "Meowclops!" she repeated as her eyes darted around in search of the petpet. There! In the kitchen, eating food from a pristinely clean white bowl!

     "Er...?" the Swamp Witch trailed as she saw the kid fly halfway across her home.

     Penny wrapped her arms around the petpet and giggled. The Meowclops hissed and struggled to get free.

     Sophie sighed and approached them, pulling Penny away by her pointy hat. "This way to my potion making room."

     "Ow, OK!" Penny responded as she followed the witch to her cauldron.

     "So," the Swamp Witch started, "I'll toss you an ingredient from my chest, and you toss it in the brew. Got it?"

     "Sounds easy enough!" Penny grinned.

     "Good." Sophie smiled at her. The kid reminded her of herself when she was young, before Ilere took her in... she supposed teaching Penny a little bit was the least she could do for her. "Let's get to work. This is a basic potion every witch should know: Familiar Familiar. It empowers and strengthens the bond between you and your familiar." She leaned down and petted her Meowclops, who had trotted into the room.

     "Yay!" exclaimed Penny.

     Sophie threw her a codestone. "Oh – woah!" Penny heaved as she barely caught it, before dumping it into the green potion in the black cauldron.

     A Blueberry Fish Pop was tossed in her direction. "Ew," she said to herself as she dumped it in the cauldron.

     She turned around and immediately a couple of Ghost Marshmallows smacked her in the face. "Ah!" she yelped as she just barely caught them. Mm, they looked tasty... but no, she had to resist. She dumped them in the cauldron.

     Sophie tossed a Glaring Eye Wrap at her, but the throw was too short. Mustering her strength and dexterity, she leapt into the air – but it wasn't enough, she wasn't going to catch it! And then a plus symbol fell from the ceiling, which gave her arms temporarily enough reach to grab the wrap before it hit the floor. "Phew," she breathed, relieved, as she dumped it into the cauldron.

     The Ixi turned to face her. "And we're done!" She grinned. "The codestone: expensive, to represent that your familiar means more than the world, to you – and, ideally, vice versa. The Eye Wrap: so you can better read your familiar, and your familiar can better read you. The Ghost Marshmallows: because your familiar should be a sweetie pie."

     "And the fish pop?" inquired Penny with wide eyes.

     "Oh, that's because Mew-shu likes it so much," she said in baby voice as she scritched under her petpet's chin. She turned back toward her pupil. "Part of potion making is improvising a little – it's a practised skill. And for this brew, you've gotta make it tasty to your familiar." Sophie wandered back into the kitchen, retrieved the white pet bowl, and returned to the cauldron. She dipped the bowl into the brew, filling the bowl, and presented it to Penny.

     "But I don't want to be your familiar," the Korbat said matter-of-factly.

     Sophie groaned inwardly. "Just present it to Mew over there."

     Penny did as instructed, and the Meowclops drank from the bowl greedily. "Aww," she said as she pet the purring petpet without issue.

     Sophie smiled. "See?"

     "Yeah!" Penny clapped her hands. "Wowee, I wish I had a familiar. Mine's just made of paper." She looked sadly at the dirt floor of the shack.

     "Maybe someday soon," the Ixi replied with a knowing look. "But now, let's teach you a few more recipes."

     Penny spent several hours learning from the Swamp Witch, and before she left, Sophie gave her a present: a "Beginner Witch's Book of Stews and Brews."

     "Wowee, thank you Miss Sophie for all your help with potions and magic!" Penny exclaimed as she also accepted a bottle of the Familiar Familiar they had brewed together.

     "Aw, of course." Sophie grinned at her. "I know you'll become a marvellous witch."

     "You mean it?" Penny stared up at Sophie with large, awestruck eyes.

     "I know it." Sophie's eyes glistened.

     Penny hugged the Ixi.

     Sophie led her to the door of the shack. "Now, if you DO want a familiar, I suggest you try a certain someone I know further down the swamp..."

     ***

     Step 3: With Grim Grace, A Familiar Face

     The purple Babith narrowly avoided being knocked over by the wind of a Korbat flying overhead. "Don't you have anything better to do?" she muttered as she shook her fist at the Neopet overhead.

     And then the Neopet started to descend. "Hey, watch it!" Grimelda grumpily shouted as she readied her green wand. "Don't make me have to–"

     "Look at you!" said Penny as she landed beside the petpet.

     The Babith took a step back. "What are you staring at?"

     "Wowee, you can talk!" the Korbat exclaimed. "I mean, Sophie said as much, but I wasn't sure I believed her... until now!"

     Grimelda pouted. "Fine. So, you found my new swamp home after I emigrated from Petpet Park – what do you want?"

     Penny frowned pensively. "Sophie said something about cashing in her 'favour'?"

     The Babith frowned back at her and looked up at the Neopet, studying her. "So you're a witch-in-training, eh?"

     The Korbat did a flourish and her hat bounced. "I'm Penny, witch-in – er, yes."

     "I'm Grimelda, charmed," replied the petpet flatly. "Sophie sure knows how to pick 'em," she said under her breath. "Anyway," she continued out loud, "in exchange for Sophie helping me rehome after the closure of the Park, I offered to help her rehome the petpets around the swamp to loving Neopets, or some junk like that." She shrugged.

     Penny just gave her an open-mouthed grin, exposing her fangs.

     "Er, yeah..." Grimelda trailed, a touch discomforted. "But Sophie did ask me one favour: that, should some little witch come and want a familiar, I'd help her out. And it looks like you fit that bill."

     The Korbat squeed. "So, you're gonna be my familiar?"

     The Babith sputtered. "Aha, no," she quickly assured. "I'm a witch too, you know."

     "Really?" asked Penny. "I thought you were just dressed up for Halloween tomorrow!"

     Grimelda glared at her.

     "Does that mean your familiar is a petpetpet?" inquired Penny, curious.

     The Petpet Witch groaned inwardly and ignored the question, to not encourage more. "I'm not going to be your familiar – but I will help you find one. There are many petpets roaming around the Woods close by. Why don't you go and find one you have a connection with, and then come back – I'll train you to establish a deeper bond with the familiar of your choosing."

     Penny gave her a quick salute and dashed into the forest.

     The Babith rolled her eyes.

     In the forest, Penny looked around. "Aha!" she said as she saw a Ghostkerchief – but when she ran up to it, it quickly flitted away. "Aw."

     She turned around and saw a Slorg. "Ew," she said. She had nothing against Slorgs or the Neopets who loved them – trails of slime just weren't for her.

     Bloop? No, Edna liked eating them. Mummy Baby? No, she wasn't ready to be a mummy mommy. Meepit? No, it might try to make her its familiar...

     And then she saw it – a Halloween Noil. "Cute!" she said as she gingerly approached it. It seemed curious and didn't run as she neared. Penny reached down and it sniffed her hand, and then she pet it. "Aww," the Korbat said with a grin. Noils weren't native to the Haunted Woods... another Neopet must have owned it beforehand and let it go here, probably because it was painted to blend in. "You're mine now." She opened the bottle of Familiar Familiar and poured some on her hand, and the Noil lapped it up.

     As a kid is wont to do, she wantonly picked it up and brought it back to the small patch of swamp that Grimelda called home.

     "Oh, hey, you got one!" said the Babith, genuinely surprised.

     "Yeah!" exclaimed Penny. "Now, what do I do?"

     Grimelda started to walk, and motioned for Penny to follow. Before long they were at what appeared to be a tiny obstacle course floating on the swamp.

     "As you can see," proclaimed the Petpet Witch, "you are much too big for this – but it is the perfect size for a petpet. Guide your familiar around the tiles and trap doors to pick up the yellow, orange, purple, and green herbs, in that order, from around the course – you must bond with your familiar to do this. Now, set it–"

     "I'm calling him Casey II," interjected Penny proudly. "Or Casey for short."

     "Er, alright," replied Grimelda, a touch annoyed. "Set Casey down there, next to that petpet-sized cauldron, and begin."

     Penny did as instructed. First, she tried yelling at the Noil to get him to do what she wanted, to no avail. Then she tried pointing and gesticulating madly at the herbs, also to no seeming effect.

     "You must make a mental connection with him," Grimelda stated sagely.

     Penny closed her eyes. She saw Casey. She saw them in the woods, where he drank the Familiar Familiar. She thought about the herbs Casey needed to collect, and pictured him doing it. She felt her bonding with him...

     She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was looking at her, but instantly he started racing around the board, collecting the herbs and depositing them in the pot.

     "Marvellous!" exclaimed Grimelda. She chittered a brief exchange with the Noil. "Without a doubt, he is your familiar."

     The Korbat stared at the Babith in awe, with wide eyes. "You helped me bond with him!" She reached over and picked up Casey.

     Grimelda almost, but not quite, smiled. She was proud of Penny, regardless. "Well, I can't take all the credit, it was you–"

     Penny leaned down and pet the Petpet Witch, who hissed and leapt back. "Hey, get away! And don't try to offer me any of that Familiar Familiar either," she grumbled as she saw Penny reach for the bottle.

     The Korbat grinned sheepishly at the Babith.

     "Anyway, there you go," finished Grimelda. "My work with you is done. Well done. Keep your bond with Casey strong, and you will make a fine witch."

     "Thank you for your help with my familiar, Miss Grimelda!" Penny grinned.

     As Penny left the swamp, Casey in her paws, she reflected on the past day's events. She had a witch's swagger and cackle down. She had a functional knowledge of potion making. She even had a non-paper familiar.

     She knew just where to go now.

     ***

     Now You're A Butt-Kicking Witch!

     "Miles," Penny commanded her younger brother the minute she set foot in their NeoHome. "I need your help." She grinned sweetly at him as the Lupe approached.

     "Er, OK," started Miles hesitantly. "Does this mean your training went well?"

     She tipped her hat to him and held up Casey II proudly. "It went INCREDIBLY," she replied with a real witchy cackle before setting down her familiar.

     The Lupe grinned. "Hey, that's great to hear!"

     Penny opened her spell book and flipped randomly through the pages. "Quick, tell me when to stop."

     "Stop," her little brother said after a few seconds.

     "Ooh, advanced potions..." the Korbat said excitedly, reading off the page. "Fireballs..."

     Miles's eyes widened at hearing that. "Are you sure you want to try that? I mean, you are a beginner–"

     "Miles, the whole BOOK is for beginners," she interrupted sassily, holding up the cover for him to read. "And I'm no beginner beginner – I have been making soups for months, after all."

     "But–"

     "Trust me," she said smoothly as she swaggered up to him. "I've had the best witch training I can get in a day. And I know you wanna help your big sister out – especially because me getting training was your idea." She grinned at him. "And, because I make you delicious soup."

     Well, she had him there.

     With a resigned sigh, he accepted, and she rattled off the few ingredients she needed. He slipped out and returned a little less than an hour later, paws full of items.

     Penny looked up from the recipe book as she heard him come in. "Oh, little brother, you're just in time!" she called to him as he came over. "Whilst you were out I fed Casey II a familiar bonding potion I made earlier, and I just finished preparing the base brew for this Fireball potion – with Casey's help of course." She leaned down and pet her candy corn Noil.

     The Lupe watched with wide, awestruck eyes as she effortlessly and skillfully tossed in the ingredients.

     Penny hummed a haunting tune as she worked. "And, hmm... a little of this, a little of that..."

     "Wait, that's not in the ingredient list," Miles stated fearfully as he observed her additions.

     "Part of potion making is improvising a little," she repeated Sophie's mantra. "And, done!" she finished as she tossed in the Aggleroot from earlier.

     The brew in the cauldron started to bubble violently, and a thick smoke filled the air.

     Miles screamed. "Penny! What have you done!?"

     "I've become a witch!" she replied with a long cackle, her eyes alight.

     "I think it's best if we go," he urged as the cauldron started to shake.

     Casey II seemed concerned, too, and ran to the doors. Penny observed this, and tried to quell their fears. "Aw, come on, it's not that–"

     Miles grabbed Penny's hand and ran for the door. "Ah!" Penny shrieked, surprised, as she grabbed the potion book from Sophie and they dashed out of there.

     Once they were just outside the yard of their NeoHome, it exploded in a giant ball of wood, brick, and fire behind them.

     Miles turned around and looked at it with horrified eyes – what were they going to tell their owner!?

     "Aw, you're not cool," teased Penny; but she turned around, too, to witness what had transpired.

     She gaped hugely as she saw the plume of smoke and fire reach three stories in the air. Her eyes went wide as she realized she had created the biggest, baddest, kick-buttest fireball she had ever seen... and that it had destroyed their house.

     The two siblings looked at each other, then at their flaming home, and then back at each other. She gave her brother a wide, awkward, completely flabbergasted grin.

     They watched the fire continue to burn as night fell and Halloween arrived. Amongst the almost peaceful crackling they heard the Haunted Woods Fire Dept. somewhere in the distance.

     Penny turned back toward her brother. "That," she started, choosing her words carefully. "Was–"

     "Terrifying!" Miles interjected.

     "AWESOME!" Penny squeed. She raised her arms gleefully and made a victory pose. "I am a witch! Let's do it again!"

     Miles groaned. At least they had insurance.

     But deep down, he did feel... proud of her. "You're a witch, Penny." He smiled at her.

     She beamed back.

     Casey leapt into Penny's arms and she gently stroked his fluff as the Fire Dept. came and started battling the blaze.

     Only three simple steps later, and she had done this. This. THIS. She truly was a blossoming witch, and this was just the beginning.

     What an awesome witchy origin story the day turned out to be!

     The End.