This Years Hottest Apples

     As autumn fast approaches, so does apple season - the orchards are brimming with the bright red fruit and ready for the picking! Luckily for you, we’ve done all the work ahead of time and we are here to tell you this season’s hottest apple flavours, guaranteed to make your party guests swoon and howl with delight as they pull it from your apple-bobbing tub. So go ahead, don that Apple Bobbing Bart Hat, light your Apple Lanterns and leave them out on the porch for everyone to see - this year, you’ve got apples under control.

     Coming in hot on the apple-charts is the Apple Apple - classic, timeless, and tasty, the perfect combination for any season. This one is a great choice because no one can come out disappointed here: you bobbed for an apple, you got the appliest apple there is. Is this any different from a Red Apple you wonder? We’re here to tell you: of course! It is significantly more apple-y than any other apple, guaranteed.

     Next we have the Blue Berry Apple, a personal favourite here because it adds a fun challenge to the bobbing bin! Nobody can see a blue apple in all the blue water, so the guest that pulls this up is a real master. Plus it makes a delicious cider, and we all know that apple cider is the superior fall beverage, of course. In the same category is the Water Apple, naturally - the gentle swirling motion of the water inside gives it the purest of tastes, like a fresh mountain stream. Put these in a blend with your apple of choice and no one else will ever feel comfortable bringing their own cider to the party again - they couldn’t compete!

     This year’s dark horse pick is the Melon Berry Apple. Unpopular for years because of its disconcerting bumpy skin, its unusual hide almost looks like it belongs on top of a Mutant Kacheek’s head. That is, until our Faerie Queen Fyora was seen with one in hand one day out in the gardens - ever since, it has been nearly impossible to find any from Neopia Central down to the Haunted Woods. It’s large grooves mean pockets full of juicy deliciousness, unparalleled sweetness in one bite, outstanding bitterness from the next. Each bite is a mouthful of mystery and wonder, impossible to predict but always satisfying. Thankfully this apple is predicted to hit prime picking time in the next week, so get out there and cut some down for yourself! We have a reader-submitted suggestion here that says to cut around the grooves and serve them in a bowl if you really want your buffet to have that extra creepy factor.

     Trick-or-treat! Every spooky season party needs a couple of practical jokes and dummy prizes in their games. This year we are loving Slimy Apples - a simple slick trick and these apples barely ever manage to slip outside the water, ensuring your guests just enough challenge that they keep coming back for more. Franken-Apples are delightfully timely for this month and often incredibly delicious if you can find a way to eat around the stitching. And of course the Invisible Apple gets an honorary mention - nothing like this classic trick to have your guests laughing with great aplomb. Watching someone retreat from the water with a mouthful of nothing-but-something is always followed with riotous laughter; it looks ridiculous after all. We had also planned to try out the Ghost Apple for this category, but it seems that it has floated away out of the water and into the night. We are going to advise against adding this apple anyway as they tend to have unfinished business and a nasty penchant for revenge, which makes them terrible party guests.

     Finally, if you’re trying to figure out how to determine who exactly wins your apple bobbing, that’s easy - three apples are your answer. The Bronze, Silver, and Gold Apples! Their naturally metallic skins make them a bit unpleasant to bite - unless you’ve got the teeth of a Skeith - so we prefer to use them as trophies. Whoever pulls the Golden Apple is the apple champion! Just be careful to keep it away from any vain faeries, who have been known to bicker over Golden Apples in the past; they’re a real hot commodity, after all.

      Now that we’ve told you our “core” picks of the season, let’s all hear what is out! Avoid these fiesta fiascos and leave these bad boys in the orchard.

     Make sure you do not ever put an Apple Spyder in the mix unless you’re trying to give your guests the willies! A surefire way to scare a guest off and leave them feeling weak in their knees would be to play this nasty trick. We certainly don’t recommend it unless you’re willing to ruin a friendship faster than Faerieland fell.

     Cactus Apples and Vampire Apples should stay away too - neither one is a pleasant experience for your guests and they are always the number one concern! A poor Gelert running out with tears in his eyes and a cactus apple stuck to his snout is not a fun party event; vampire apples are notorious for biting back so they are much the same.

     Our last not-recommendation this year is the Cotton Apple - leave these sweet treats out on the tray as hors-d'oeuvres! Putting them in the water is a rookie mistake because they simply melt away, leaving their popsicle-sticks behind floating on the surface and you with a lot less apples in your game. It would be a shame to waste such a delicate candy, so be sure you leave them above water where they can be enjoyed.

     Now you’re officially ready to take this season’s party to the next level - get that cider heated, pull the Apple Cobbler out of the oven, and fill the tubs up with fresh water and your supreme collection of seasonal apples. Your guests will absolutely apple-aud all your attention to detail as they take turns diving for fall’s favourite fruit. To really wrap things up nicely for the evening prepare some Shiny Apples for party favours as each guest is on their way out for the evening. Follow our guide, and you’ll have the number one event of this season!